The rest of the way home is tense, and I fumble at what to say to break the ice. I come up with nothing. My phone beeps and a message from Evie comes through asking if I want her to bring anything tonight. Her message is the only thing that lets me know Elliot asked them to come over. Just like I asked.

“Evie’s asking if you would like her to bring anything tonight?” I say, using her as the excuse I need to get him talking again.

“I figured we’ll order in Indian and they can bring dessert or alcohol. Or Lior and I can pick it up and bring that stuff back with us.”

“Why don’t we get the Indian food delivered, and we just use the alcohol as dessert?”

“Sounds like a plan,” he says without an ounce of enthusiasm. I don’t bother responding to him, at this point the less said, the better the outcome.

I message Evie and ask them to bring alcohol.

Me: Can you guys bring the beer?

Evie: I’m not drinking beer.

Me: Okay, princess. Beer for everyone else and whatever you want.

Evie: I’ll buy a case and Elliot can keep the leftovers.

Me: I don’t think there’s going to be any leftovers.

Evie: How much do you plan on drinking?

Me: Enough to break the tension that’s slowly simmering over here.

Evie: What? Did you tell him your good news?

Me: Yes, but it all went downhill when I said I could sleep over but not spend the day with him tomorrow.

Evie: Oh

Me: Yep

Evie: How impossible is it for you to get away

Me: I don’t trust her

Evie: Do you trust me?

Me: Always

Evie: Let me go and spend the day there tomorrow?

I contemplate what she’s offering and want to agree to it so badly, but the guilt of Mom being my responsibility sets in. I’m stuck between a rock and hard place, to sacrifice or to be selfish. This is the never-ending battle, only this time being selfish also means making Elliot happy. Showing him with actions how much his understanding really means to me. If he’s compromising and putting on a mask of tolerance to wade through my storm, why can’t I offer the same? Why can’t I make him smile, make him feel wanted, show him that this is by no means a one-sided thing. I pray to anyone that will listen, to let this plan work. That miraculously Evie can spend the day with Mom, or even check on her intermittently and I can spend one peaceful day with Elliot.

Me: Okay

Evie: Really? I totally thought you were going to disagree with me lol.

Me: He was so disheartened when I said no to spending the day with him. I don’t want him to think I’m not trying.

Evie: Okay, we can exchange details tonight, but I’m glad you agreed to it. You both deserve tomorrow.

Feeling a little lighter now that I’ve made my decision, I hope the mood of the night picks up when Evie and Lior arrive. Elliot has left me flicking through the channels and went to have a shower, maybe the hot water will help with a mood change. Until then, maybe I’ll watch some Jason Momoa to distract me.

A knock on the door sounds, and I groggily look around realizing I must’ve fallen asleep watching television. I see Elliot move toward the door and wonder how long it’s been and why he didn’t wake me up. Scooting off the couch, I race to the bathroom to check out how I look. Nothing worse than creased skin and bird’s nest of hair. The handle rattles and Evie makes herself welcome as I’m attempting to make my hair less chaotic.

“Didn’t I lock the door?” I ask looking at her through the mirror’s reflection.

“You did, but there’s this little jiggle you can do. I learned it while living here.”

I turn around to look at her directly. “And you weren’t concerned that I may have been sitting on the toilet?”

“Of course not.” I shake my head and gesture for her to walk out with me.

“Wait,” she calls out, stopping me. “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” I say. “You guys being here, will help.”

We walk out together and Elliot and I immediately make eye contact. His face looks less strained and the tension around his eyes has softened. Maybe the shower and the sleep weren’t bad ideas. I give him a small smile and feel it to be appropriate to make the first move. I notice his hands empty and Lior is stacking the fridge with the beer he brought over. Grabbing one before he can put it in the fridge, I hold it out to Elliot as a peace offering, using one hand to reach for the beer, he uses the other to secure my wrist and pull me closer. He kisses the side of my head before lowering his mouth to my ear.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, and it tears me up inside that he feels he has to apologize when he’s done nothing wrong. I don’t say anything back because I don’t want to create a scene or ignore our guests. But later he needs to know he has nothing to apologize for, not when my mouth is sealed and my heart is scarred.

The food comes a little after their arrival, and we all head up to the rooftop to enjoy the sunset and the view. Catching up on how we’ve all been, I realize we used to all see each other a whole lot more before anyone started dating. It’s funny how things work out. It feels like we’re all finally growing up, getting our lives together and moving toward the way things should’ve always been.

Sometimes I wonder what I would be doing if I hadn’t met Evie and Elliot. Life without Renee had well and truly settled in. At work and home, I was the me I had always known, but as the clock would strike midnight the dutiful Cinderella went out and did anything I could to make me forget. The options were endless, and the only thing that prevented me from being submersed in a hole I wouldn’t be able to climb up from was Mom. It’s ironic how I felt like her prisoner, yet she was my savior. And then there was Evie. She gave me purpose and I was on a mission. It was like fate led us all together so we could all step out of our comfort zone and stop letting life pass us by.

“Do you guys want to play Twister?” Evie asks, bouncing around in her seat.

“What are we, twelve?” Elliot teases, and everyone laughs except for Evie. I realize how stupid it was to think of Elliot and Evie together. It becomes more and more evident there are no romantic feelings between either of them. In fact, they’re like siblings. Family, as it always should’ve been. It’s not fair to hold helping her against him, but when I think of how long he went letting her lean on him, I worry. I worry that, like earlier, he will always make excuses for me. He will give me time and space, and I’ll fall in this trap of expecting that of him. He deserves better than that.

“Okay. Okay, I got it,” Lior chimes in with a knowing cheeky smile across his face. “How about we play seven minutes in heaven?”

“Now we’re definitely twelve,” Elliot says with a matching smirk.

“You guys played that when you were twelve?” Evie says in shock. “I think Twister is the safest option right now.”

“We don’t even have it unless you left it here in a secret hiding spot,” Elliot says.

“I’ve got it in my bag,” she explains.

“Like Mary Poppins? What else is in your bag?” he asks. “I demand we see if there are other games instead of Twister.”

“Okay, so maybe I have Cards Against Humanity in there too.” The four of us burst out laughing at her admission, her quirky side never ceasing to amaze me.

Lior leans over and kisses her, his eyes devour her in reverence. He is in love with every single version of her. I turn to look at Elliot and he’s watching me watch them. I suddenly feel like I’ve been caught with my hand in the cookie jar, and my cheeks burn. I break his stare and stand up, deciding I’m ready to move my party of one back into the apartment. I pile up the plates and anything else I can fit in my hands and head downstairs. It doesn’t take long till I hear the slapping sound of his flip-flops behind me. He catches up in the elevator, but neither of us rushes to break the silence.

Once we’re in the kitchen, he takes the dinnerware out of my hands and places them on the counter behind me. He steps toward me till he’s pushing into me, my back pressing into the edge of the counter.

“Are we okay?” he asks.

My palms sit firmly on each of his pecs, “I should be asking you that. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I was rude. I didn’t need to be, you didn’t deserve that.”

“Actually I did. I’m adult enough to admit that,” I tell him. “I can’t back you into a corner with all my terms and conditions and not expect you to react.” My honesty surprises us both.

He raises his hands to my face, his thumbs lightly skimming my jaw. “We don’t have to talk about this tonight, okay?” he says rhetorically. “I haven’t seen you all week and I won’t see you much this weekend. Let’s just have tonight.”

I can see his heart in his eyes, and there’s no denying I want it. To have to hold and to be mine, but if I want that, it’s only fair to give him mine too, right? I nod in agreement, enjoying one another’s company is the most important thing right now. He grazes my bottom lip, my heart races at the thought of his kiss. I close my eyes in anticipation, ignoring the desperation in my actions. Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.

As if he can hear my plea, his lips collide with mine and in one single swipe of his tongue, I’m reminded why a kiss from Elliot Ramzy is anything but ordinary. My touch on his chest turns into a tight grip on his shirt; his heart thumping underneath my hands. In an unexpected move, he pulls me away from the counter, his hands cup my ass as he effortlessly lifts me onto the countertop. My exposed legs fall open, and he steps in between, the rhythm of our kiss never faltering. My body is exploding in need, my mind overflowing with Elliot. I stop the kiss and grab his face hastily. I lock my eyes with his and hope to God he knows I’m trying.

“I don’t know what this is. I’m scared because my mind is all sorts of fucked up, and you don’t need complicated.”

His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips. “Maybe I like complicated,” he challenges.

“Nobody likes complicated, Elliot. People feel obligated to like complicated,” my unfiltered confession spilling out.

“What did I say, huh? Get out of your own head.” He places a firm kiss on my lips, before looking at me with determination. “Just be here. Think and feel this. And only this.” His kiss swallows any opportunity I have to argue. Each stroke and swipe of his tongue determined to keep me in the moment.

Somewhere in the distance, I hear the front door open; Lior and Evie making there way from upstairs. I stop the kiss, not wanting to share the moment with anyone else. With a lingering kiss on the forehead, he steps back, and I hop down. We walk into the living room, meeting Evie and Lior’s knowing looks.  “We decided to come down after we realized you two weren’t coming back.”

“Sorry, we had something important to discuss,” Elliot says with a straight face.

“Yep. Your lips look very worn out from all the talking,” Evie says with a smirk, looking straight at me. I openly roll my eyes and flip her the bird, I really have created a monster.

“So, is it Twister time?” she asks.

“If we must,” I drawl.

“Actually babe, I’m not feeling well,” Lior interrupts. “I think there was something in the food that didn’t sit right.” I look between him and Elliot, knowing I’ve missed something. Evie seems disheartened, torn between worrying about Lior and wanting to stay. “Okay,” she says with a loud sigh. “I guess we will have to play Twister another time.”

Lior and Elliot walk to the door in hushed whispers while Evie reminds me of our plans tomorrow, under the disguise of a goodbye kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll get there around ten a.m. okay?” she confirms.

“The spare key is underneath the terracotta pot by the front door. She’ll be surprised that you’re there, but she’ll get over it.”

“You know we’ve met before,” she says trying to ease my worries.

“I know. I know. Just text me and let me know how it is, okay?”

“Of course.” She gives my shoulder a tight squeeze before walking toward the door. I haven’t even told Elliot that I’m staying and after all this effort, I hope it’s okay.

I go back to the kitchen and start cleaning up the mess from dinner. “Don’t do that,” Elliot calls out from the other side of the house.

“It’s fine. You don’t want to have to do it later, or wake up to a mess tomorrow.”

Standing behind me, he curls his hand around my stomach and places his chin on my shoulder. “What I don’t want is to waste whatever time I have before you go home, doing the dishes.”

“Oh, about that,” I say nonchalantly. “I don’t have to rush home in the morning.” He leans his hand over and switches the tap off. I turn around, ready to explain my arrangement with Evie when his arms coil around my knees and lifts me up off the floor and over his shoulders.

“What are you doing?” I scream. I try to grab the bottom of my dress with one hand, attempting to retain some sort of poise and not let my ass hang out.

“Finishing what was so rudely interrupted,” he says, leading us into the bedroom. He stops at the edge of the bed and my body slides down his. I look up at him, unable to contain the smile spreading across my face.

“You’re crazy you know that?” I tell him.

“Crazy over you,” he says with a wink.

“And he’s cheesy folks. So, so cheesy,” I say with a laugh into the empty room.

“Can I kiss you now?” he asks. I lick my lips and nod, unable to form the words. My body hums in anticipation, unable to hide my desire for him. Our kiss starts slow and sensual, reserved almost. Desperate to touch him, my hands sneak under the bottom of his shirt. He pulls back, wasting no time. He reaches behind him and pulls the material over his head, and I shamelessly stare him up and down.

“How long you going to look for and not touch?”

“Sorry,” I say, shaking myself out of the trance.

“Don’t be. I just want to be able to do the same.” He reaches for the first button on my dress and deftly begins to undo it. He shifts his gaze from my chest to my eyes seeking permission, and I don’t hesitate giving it to him. I place my hand on top of his and move it down to the next button. My mind screams at me to take things slow, but there’s something about giving him free reign that’s freeing. I want him to show me how good it can be in our bubble, how different things feel when you let the weight of the world go.  

“I’m not going to be able to stop,” he says his voice low and rough, his thoughts echoing mine.

He looks at me for clarity, waiting for me to object. But I can’t, not this time. Instead, I try and appease his doubts. “You know we’ve had sex before, right?”

He undoes one more button, before gripping the material and moving closer. Lowering his head to my neck, his lips gravitate to my skin like a magnet. Licking and sucking, my breath hitches when his mouth reaches the back of my ear.

My body turns into liquid when he whispers, “We’ve never had sex like this before.”