As I end the work call outside the restaurant, I'm relieved for the time away from Courtney. I knew I would see her at dinner, Lior had warned me, but I purposefully acted indifferent at the mention of her name. No matter how nonchalant I pretended to be, nothing could have prepared me for the moment I laid eyes on her. I’ve missed her. Or maybe I’ve missed the sex, I wasn’t sure. But being near her is different to thinking about her, and her presence conjured up something unexpected inside of me. Seeing her again flicked a switch inside of me, reminding me just how plain and ordinary life has been without her in it.

When I sat down, her nervousness shocked and excited me all at the same time. I didn’t know if it was good or bad, but she was on edge because of me, and for the strangest reason I relished in the thought.

I run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath before going back inside.

Pushing the large glass door open, I walk through toward our table. As I get closer Courtney's head turns in my direction, and for the first time tonight we make direct eye contact. When I first met Courtney, I had missed the sadness I now know she was hiding. Around Evie, she was bubbly and lively, and because Evie was so desolate, it was easy to miss the signs.

Initially, it was hard to connect the woman she was by day to the woman in my bed at night. But even if our time together started out as wordless, eventually her eyes and body told me more than her mouth ever did. It's why, as her jaded eyes find mine, I can tell time has changed her. She looks the same. She’s still hiding, and still has secrets, but there’s a spark of hope in her that was never there before. As I get closer she doesn't turn away, her irritation from earlier has disappeared. With a sliver of positivity radiating off her, I'm curious to see where the night will lead us.  

Familiarity ensues, and any tension between the four of us is gone. The different waiters come around every so often, offering various types of barbequed meats and we all take turns trying something new or different.

Originally Lior told me that Evie had an announcement to make. Always happy to know what’s going on with her, there was no hesitation in having dinner. Now that the initial awkwardness is done with, my interest is piqued.

“So, what’s the news?” I ask, leaning back into the soft leather of the booth, feeling full and content after so much food.

“Well, I wasn’t sure if I really wanted this, but when an opportunity arose, I couldn’t say no.”

“And the opportunity is?” Court asks.

I start thrumming my fingers on the table like a drum roll, and Evie laughs at the introduction.

“I’m going to leave the shop,” she says. “I feel like it's time to move from there, things have definitely changed and so have I.”

“You're going to leave me there?” Courtney says, pretending to sound hurt. “Where you going to go?”

After losing her husband, Evie gave up working as a psychologist. Later down the track, she took on a retail job to keep busy and that’s how her and Courtney met.

“Well, there’s this not-for-profit organization in Brooklyn, and they run a suicide awareness and intervention program.” Her face glows as she explains it all. “It basically works in conjunction with each client's own personal healthcare plan. Through individualized therapies and medication, the organization’s aim is to offer support and prevent suicide.”

She's passionate and excited, and I never get tired of seeing her this way. I turn to Lior, who is watching her with so much awe and love, I have to turn away.

Even though the circumstances are ones I wouldn’t wish on anyone, if my brother couldn’t be here to love his wife, there’s no one better than Lior to take his place. I knew I was investing a lot of my time into Evie’s happiness when we lived together, but I didn’t realize how heavy the load was on my own shoulders. And now that I don’t have her issues to contend with anymore, it means mine has come to the forefront.

The table has gone silent, and I realize Evie is staring at Courtney, as she not so subtly wipes tears from her eyes. Evie’s hand reaches across the table, and Courtney latches on to her immediately.

“Just ignore these,” she sniffs. “I feel like a proud mom right now.”

A look of sympathy quickly transfers between the two of them, only this time it’s from Evie to Court, and I want to know why.

“So, how long do I have before I have to share you with the rest of the world,” Court says, changing the subject.

“I don't start this job until the beginning of next month, so you have a few more weeks with me,” she beams.

“Perfect.”

* * *

The bill has been paid and Lior and Evie left to make their way home, leaving Court and I on our own. She's pacing up and down the sidewalk, fussing with the Uber app and I'm in no rush to walk away from her.

“Why aren't you going home?” she asks, barely lifting her eyes off the screen.

“I'm not going to leave you standing here on the curb by yourself.”

“We’re not going home together,” she blurts out. I instantly laugh, enjoying the fact that her mind went there. “It seems you like to forget I’m a gentleman and I’m just making sure you get home before I take off.”

“Is that why you felt the need to cop a feel under the table?” she asks.

“No, that was me trying to calm you down.” Walking closer I lean against the wall next to her. “For whatever reason, you were anxious as fuck, and the leg shaking did nothing but give you away. I was just trying to help.”

“Mmmhmm,” she hums, shutting herself off from any further conversation with me. She knows I’m lying, I did want to calm her down, but I also really wanted to touch her.

“You know we could try being friends, get to know each other a little, and then maybe you won’t assume the only thing we have in common is sex.”

“Elliot, that is the only thing we have in common.”

“That’s not entirely true, I’m sure we can find something else to talk about. Maybe you can tell me why you cried earlier?”

I waste no time, and tear through the invisible keep out sign I know she’s wearing across her chest. She looks at me perplexed, almost with certainty that what I said never happened.

“I can be happy for my best friend,” she exclaims defensively.

“True, but why at the same time was your best friend sad for you?”

“We’re not doing this Elliot, so stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen, yeah?”

I laugh loudly, “an ex-girlfriend of mine insisted I watch Mean Girls, so even though I’m not sure how friendship turned into fetch, I can promise you it will happen.”

“Why are you so determined we be friends?”

“Why the hell are you so sure it’s a bad thing?” I argue.

She pushes herself off the wall and walks closer to the curb. Her ride must be close. “Let’s not do this Elliot, we don’t need to be friends.”

“So, you’ll come to my place and sleep in my bed, but I can’t know why?”

“Correct. I’m glad you’re catching on so quick,” she says sarcastically. “And for the record don’t act all innocent in this, and pretend you didn’t enjoy it.”

I’m getting frustrated, she has no desire to answer what I’m asking or even indulge in the slightest bit of friendly conversation. So, I drop it. The sound of cars buzzing through the street fills up the silence passing between us.

As the Uber stops in front of us, I watch her climb in and close the door without giving me a second glance. I want to run after her and simultaneously shake some sense into me. Why am I so hell-bent on this? She made her point loud and clear, and I need to hear it in every which way she said it. We. Are. Not. Friends.