Driving to Jersey isn’t some quick over-the-bridge-and-you’re-there type of trip. After a great round of morning sex and waiting for Evie to drop me off a change of clothes, on the way to my place, we finally left the house in a hurry. Deciding I didn’t want to meet Elliot’s mom in day old clothes, I asked Evie to find me anything appropriate; sometimes jeans and a tank top will have to do. We’ve been sitting in the car for almost three hours, and as we pull into a quiet cul de sac lined with cute red brick houses and white garages, I can’t help but imagine a little boy with brown hair, riding a bike with his friends up and down the street. I’ve been hiding how nervous I am with incessant rambling, pulling up the most trivial shit I know to talk about.

“So, this is where you grew up?” I ask inquisitively.

“Yep, the one and only. Lived here my whole life.” He puts the car in park and takes his seatbelt off. “Is it what you were expecting?”

“I don’t know what I was expecting,” I say honestly. “But I can definitely imagine you here.”

I continue to observe my surroundings as he steps out of the car, and walks around to my door. Opening it, like the perfect gentleman he is.

“I’m sure you’ll get the whole picture once my mom gets talking.” Walking up the driveway, my hands start to get clammy, and I internally begin to berate myself for not remembering to bring some sort of gift to the house.

“I wasn’t going to mention all the talking you did in the car, but you look pale and I’m worried.” He’s calling me out. It shocks me how well he reads me in such a short span of time.

“I guess I wasn’t being as discreet as I thought I was.”

“Definitely not,” he says with a smile.

“Shit. It’s just… I’ve never done this before.”

“Done what?”

“Ughhh, don’t make me say it.” I hide my face in my palms, only to have him pull them away. I close my eyes instead to avoid admitting the truth.

“Courtney.”

“I’ve never been to a friend’s parents house before. Well, not a friend, but you know.”

“I don’t think I know.” My eyes may be closed but I can hear the laughter in his voice. I give him my back, like a child, too embarrassed to utter the words. His hands wrap around my stomach, and he peppers kisses on the nape of my neck.

“Tell me,” he persists.

“I don’t know what this is, but I know meeting your mom is important. And I’ve never had a serious...person in my life or met their parents.”

His body shakes with laughter. “A serious person?”

I stomp my foot petulantly. “Elliot. I’m trying over here.”

He spins me around, placing his fingers under my chin, raising my eyes to meet his. A broad smile is spread across his face. “Are you saying we’re exclusive? A couple? Going steady?”

“You’re incorrigible.” His twinkle, and even though my face is burning up from the awkwardness of this conversation, my stomach is filled to the brim with butterflies watching his face beam at the mere mention of me trying to label what we have.

“So, you’ve never visited a boyfriend’s parents?”

“How about I’ve never had a boyfriend,” I clarify.

He quickly hides his shock, but not fast enough for me not to notice.

“What?”

“I just can’t believe you’ve never had a boyfriend,” he says bluntly.

“Why?” I ask defensively.

“Easy there tiger, relax.” He comfortably places his hands at the top of my ass, pushing me closer to him. “I’m just struggling to believe nobody has been knocking your door down, wanting to spend every second with you.”

I don’t get into details of how I haven’t really bothered with anything more than a superficial connection with anyone. Never done the exclusive thing or been accountable for someone else’s feelings, or even thought of someone’s family. Most importantly, there’s nobody I’ve ever wanted to do any of this with.

“I haven’t really had any time.”

“I guess I’m pretty lucky we’re doing this then?”

“You’ll probably regret it later,” I say, half-jokingly.

“Definitely.”

“Hey,” I say, smacking him on the chest.

“Well, you want me to constantly agree that this isn’t going to work, so for the sake of getting inside quicker, I’ll bite.” He walks off, leaving me in the middle of a driveway. Fuck, I’m always sticking my foot in my mouth.

“And for the record,” he says, turning his head and calling over his shoulder, “we’re together. Exclusive. Going steady. Whatever the fuck you want to call it, that’s what we are. So, can we walk inside and you let me introduce you to my mom?”

* * *

“Would you like some dessert, Courtney?” Elliot has left us alone so he can fix what he came for, and his mom, Lisa, is the real-life Sally Field in Brothers and Sisters. She cooks, she bakes, and her house is so damn friendly, it’s like being wrapped in a warm blanket and cuddled. It makes me miss my mom and has me wanting to never leave.

After our ‘discussion’ outside, we plastered on our smiles and walked inside hand in hand. Within the first fifteen minutes, it was like nothing had ever happened. Eating and laughing, Elliot’s mother is the perfect tension reliever. She’s full of jokes and smiles, and she loves her son unconditionally. Their relationship is beautiful, and a pleasure to witness. He isn’t a typical momma’s boy. He loves her and respects her and she equally does the same. She treats him like a man. She doesn’t smother, she isn’t overbearing, and damn if she isn’t proud of the son she’s raised. As she should be because watching him check out every part of the house to make sure everything's in working order for his mother, has me imagining things I shouldn’t be. Craving a life I’ve never, ever, wanted.

“Tell me, you didn’t make this from scratch too?” I fuss.

“Of course, I did. There’s no way I’m buying that stuff from the store. Mine will always taste better.” Handing me a plate, she cuts a slice of cake and gracefully puts it in front of me. “Give me a second, let me put on a pot of tea.”

“You drink tea?” I ask surprised.

“Yes, it soothes my soul.”

“How about I make it while you sit down. It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done this afternoon.”

“You don’t need to impress me, darling. The end decision is always going to be Elliot’s.”

I laugh incredulously. “That wasn’t what I was trying to do.”

“I know, I’m just making it awkward. Elliot would say it’s what I do best,” she says with a smirk. “I try to embarrass him any chance I get.”

“So, tell me some embarrassing stories. Better yet, do you have photos?” I ask eagerly.

“Oh, honey do I have photos.”

“You seem extremely excited for this,” I point out.

“Darling, I’ve been waiting years for him to bring a girlfriend home so I can show off all his bad haircuts and terrible clothing fads.”

“He’s never brought someone home?” I ask, backtracking.

She raises her eyebrow at me “That’s the only thing you heard?”

I shrug innocently. “You mentioned it.”

“There’s nothing really to tell. It’s not like he’s never dated anyone, in school, he was a dedicated ladies man.”

“I bet they all fell at his feet,” I say wistfully.

“They did. He was a complete charmer. But he got older and more focused; his priorities changed. He was never one to treat the house like a hotel and bring girls around. So I lost touch on who he was dating and if it was serious.” She looks at me with knowing eyes. “So what’s your story?”

“I don’t have one,” I respond flatly.

“How about I make us that tea.” As she walks away, I worry about being rude and abrupt. I know she’ll come back with questions, she’s just trying to butter me up.

I remember the cheesecake in front of me and start to take mouthfuls. If I’m eating, I can’t talk, right?

I hear her soft footsteps behind me, as she places the teapot and cups in the middle of the table. Heading back in silence, she quickly returns with milk and sugar.

“I’ll leave this all here so you can make your own up. I know how pedantic I am about the way my tea tastes, and I imagine you’re the same.”

We’re sitting opposite one another, each of us making our own hot drinks, the silence lingering between us. Just when I think it’s safe to ask a question and direct the conversation somewhere new, Lisa interrupts my thoughts, reminding me this is her house and what she says goes.

“Relax Courtney, today isn’t the day I give you the third degree about hurting my son.”

“And yet, I still don’t feel any better about it,” I say dryly.

“I like you.”

“You do?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I don’t really know how today is supposed to go. I mean, I’m hoping you like me, but I wouldn’t know what to change if you didn’t,” I reveal.

“Would you change if I didn’t like you?” she asks, her tone turning serious.

“Probably not, unless I was a complete bitch and should’ve taken my happy pills before seeing you.”

“See, that’s what I love. You have absolutely no filter. Elliot needs someone like you.”

“He does?” I’m so fucking confused right now. I have no idea if she’s serious or not, or whether she has some power to talk me in circles until she drags out my darkest secrets.

“I imagine that’s what he likes about you too.”

“I have no idea what it is he likes about me.”

“Don’t sound so shocked, Courtney, if Elliot thinks you’re worth his time, he’s almost always right.”

“And if he’s not?”

“Something tells me it will be you who walks away from this first.” I open my mouth to protest, but any defense I have is weak and unfounded. Especially when I know she speaks the truth.

“I really like him,” I tell her. She tilts her head to the side, listening to me attentively. “But everything feels like it’s moving so fast, and if I get too caught up, I’m going to hurt him.”

“Intentionally?”

“If I’m almost certain it will happen, is it intentional?”

“From where I’m sitting, it depends on how hard you try to stop it.”

“And you’re just okay with me being here, knowing all of this?” I challenge.

“I think my son is old enough to make his own decisions and contrary to that age-old saying that the best things in life are free. They’re not. You pay in tears, doubts, heartaches, and energy. But life-long happiness is worth all that and more.”

“How are you so sure?”

“I was a pregnant teenager with a deadbeat baby daddy. Nothing about having Elliot was easy, but I would do it all over again, to relive the happiest moments in my life.”

I stare at her in envy, I want to be so sure about life like she is. I want to have confidence in my decisions, and not dread any consequences. I want light at the end of the tunnel.

“Can I be you when I grow up?” I say, lightening up the conversation.

“You’ll change your mind after the third or fourth time Elliot brings you here.” Her eyes dart behind me as I hear the sound of footsteps coming closer. Elliot’s presence signals the end of our candid conversation. I turn my head just in time to catch him wipe his face with the bottom of his shirt. With his chiseled torso on display, visions of him on me and inside me, run through my mind. There’s no denying he’s physical perfection. His heart, his mind, and soul are a bonus; being with him is like hitting the jackpot.

Feeling hands squeeze my shoulders, Lisa’s voice sounds right next to my ear. “You have a little bit of drool on the side of your mouth.” I laugh and bury my head in my hands, this woman will be the death of me; I may have just met my match.