Sunday, October 29
A long day.
I know something is up when I don’t have to train on Sunday morning. Sander just doesn’t let me have days off, for which I am grateful. If he let me take days off, I’d probably never train. I didn’t enjoy training at first, but I’ve grown to like it now. Even the running, which is something I never thought I’d say. I’m more of a... run only if something is chasing you, kind of girl. Which means I probably won’t last long if a zombie apocalypse ever happens.
Sander didn’t get back from doing whatever he was doing with Hunter until late—after I was already asleep. Jaxon stayed in the room with me until I at least fell asleep. He was doing something on his computer. It was kind of weird trying to sleep with him in here, but I have a feeling Sander asked him to stay until he got back.
When I wake up on Sunday morning, Sander is sitting at the table in the room. He looks upset. He looks over when he notices I’m awake and he smiles at me, but I can tell it’s forced.
“Good morning,” he says.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, sitting up.
“Nothing,” he says. “Hunter and Jaxon went to pick up some breakfast. They should be back soon.”
Nothing?
I doubt nothing is wrong, but until he’s ready to share with me, I’m not going to push him. Jaxon did say something about me finding out today, so I hope that’s the case. I really don’t like it when we keep secrets from each other.
“No training today?” I ask, even though it’s clear there is no training, since I wasn’t woken up at five o’clock.
“Nah,” he says. “I figured you deserved today off.”
Well...
That’s not good.
“You can get ready while we wait for food if you want,” he says. “It’s going to be a long day.”
A long day. Right.
I get out of bed and head to the bathroom to get a quick shower, not bothering to wash my hair. I don’t feel like having to blow it dry.
After my shower, I put on a pair of jeans that Hunter picked up for me yesterday. They’re a little tight, but not uncomfortably so—though, they probably only feel tight because I’m used to wearing leggings all the time. Leggings are way more comfortable, but jeans will keep me warmer.
Once I’m dressed, I walk back into our room, Sander has a bag of food and a coffee, which he passes to me.
“Those jeans look nice,” Sander says.
I shrug. “I don’t really like wearing jeans, but they’re better than being cold.”
“You look good in them,” he says.
I grin. “I think Hunter bought me a size too small, but they almost fit. I think I’ve lost some weight from all our training.”
Sander shakes his head. “You really have to watch Hunter.”
“Is he like that with all the girls?” I ask.
“Nah, just girls he’s comfortable with,” he says. “You need to eat. We’re going to leave soon.”
“Okay,” I say, taking my breakfast sandwich from the bag. I take a huge bite. “Am I finally going to know what all the secrecy has been about?”
“Yes,” he says. “I just hope you’re not mad at me.”
“Why would I be mad?”
“It’s hard to explain. I’ll just have to show you,” he says. “But, you have to know, I had no clue. If I did, I would’ve told you sooner.”
I swallow a bite without chewing enough. His wording worries me. “Is my family okay?”
“Yes,” he says. “I promise they are.”
“Okay,” I say, letting out a sigh. “That’s good. As long as my family is okay, I’ll be okay.”
Sander smiles at me, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
Whatever this is, it has eaten him up. I can see that. He has been on edge since we left Miami—no, since he got that email while we were on the boat. It’s like the entire mood shifted and everybody has been on edge since then.
I don’t like this.
I quickly eat my food, hoping that we can leave soon. I need to know what is bothering him.
I’m scared.
After I finish eating, Sander, Hunter, Jaxon, and I get into the black SUV and head away from the city. Nobody says a word—they just follow the directions on a GPS that is leading us towards a housing district.
Where the heck are we going?
Once we are only a quarter of a mile from our destination, I conclude that we definitely are going to a house.
But who’s house?
I try to think why we would be in Wisconsin, about who would be in Wisconsin, but I can’t think of anything.
Eventually, Jaxon pulls the SUV into a driveway that has a black SUV, similar to the one we’re driving, sitting in the driveway.
“Is this a safe house?” I ask.
But nobody answers my question, even though it lingers in the air.
“We’ll wait in the car,” Hunter says, after a moment.
I look at Sander, who nods his head. He opens his door and motions me to follow him. I scoot across the seat, getting out on his side of the vehicle.
Sander looks nervous.
Really nervous.
“It’s going to be okay,” I tell him, though I’m not sure why I am the one comforting him right now. Shouldn’t I be the one who is scared?
Well... I am scared, it just looks like he’s more scared than I am. That worries me, but I decide to be brave.
Sander and I stand there by the car for a while, neither of us moving. He’s just holding onto my hand so tightly that it almost hurts, but I let him because he obviously needs this. And, if I’m being honest, I do, too.
“Are you ready?” Sander asks me.
“Yeah,” I answer.
I’m ready to know the truth—ready to know why we left Miami to come here, when there doesn’t seem to be a real reason behind it.
Together, we walk towards the front door of the house, but Sander stops again about three feet away from the door.
“Promise you won’t be mad at me?” he asks.
“Sander, I promise I won’t be mad,” I say.
Is that why he’s so worried? Because he truly thinks that whatever I see in this house—whoever I see—is going to make me mad? What could possibly make me angry? I try to think, but come up empty.
I squeeze his hand and then we start walking again. When we get to the front door, he doesn’t knock. He just opens the door, motioning me forward. I walk, but hold onto his hand tighter, making sure he walks in closely behind me.
Sander shuts the door behind us, so I look around the living room. Nobody is in here, so I just stand there, waiting for something, though I don’t know what.
There is a large brown leather sectional taking up the space, a fireplace with a large screen TV hanging over it, and a large, square coffee table with nothing but a remote lying on it. The walls are all drywall, a light beige color that is very neutral. Paintings also line the walls, but before I can study them, I hear footsteps coming into the living room.
I look up when I see a shadow, and blink hard when I realize I’m looking at a ghost. A literal ghost.
“Long time no see.”
My mouth falls open.
“You look pale. Are you going to faint?”
I still don’t say anything. I think I’m in shock.
“Seriously, I think you should sit down.”
This makes my mouth move.
“Brooks?” I ask, as if I’m unsure. I mean, I am unsure. Brooks is dead. Yet, here he is, in the flesh, standing right in front of me.
“Hey, Phoenix,” he says. “You miss me?”
I move forward, letting go of Sander’s hand and then fling my arms around Brooks. I can’t help the sob that escapes my throat.
“I thought you were dead,” I say.
He hugs me back. “I’m sorry. I wish I could’ve told you the truth. You and my family. But they’re keeping me here until the person behind all this is caught.”
“I’m confused,” I say, pulling back.
“It’s a long story,” Brooks says. “You should sit.”
I nod.
Yeah, I should sit. I honestly feel a little faint.
I look at Sander.
This is what he was hiding?
And he thought I would be mad at Brooks still being alive?
“I’m going to wait in the other room and give you two some privacy,” Sander says. “Will you be okay?”
I nod.
I’ll be fine.
“Sander, thank you for this,” I say.
Because if it wasn’t for Sander, I wouldn’t know the truth.
This has to be what the email was about—why we packed up and came here. He had to see with his own eyes that it was true before he let me know and got my hopes up. He did all this to protect me.
He nods at me, then leaves the room, leaving me alone with Brooks.
Brooks walks over to the sectional, taking a seat. I go and sit by him so we can talk, though I’m not sure what to say. I’m just in complete and utter shock.
“I bet you have a lot of questions,” he says.
I nod. “Yeah. Lots.”
“I suppose I should start with the night everything happened,” Brooks says. “After the whole televised kiss thing, I was given a security detail, though I didn’t know it at the time. I think they were just supposed to watch me and make sure nothing happened. And I’m glad they did. Because the night I left campus to visit my family, I was run off the road by somebody. I flipped my car. I wasn’t hurt, just a few cuts and bruises. But the person who ran me off the road was coming towards me. I knew that whatever it was... whoever this person was... they were going to kill me.
“Before they could reach my car, headlights came up behind me. The person ran, leaving me there. The security team that had been following me was there. They got me out and got me help. But they knew I couldn’t just go back to normal. So, they faked my death and brought me here.”
“Did you get a choice?” I ask.
“No,” he answers. “You really think I want my family thinking I’m dead? But there isn’t anything I can do about it. Not until the person after you is caught.”
“This is my fault,” I say.
“It’s not,” he says, shaking his head. “Phoenix, it’s not your fault you’re in this situation. It’s the fault of a stupid terrorist. But if anybody was going to take blame here, it should be me. I’m the one who stupidly kissed you when you didn’t even want to be kissed. I’m the one who made a spectacle.”
I grin.
He’s not wrong.
But still...
“I’m sorry,” I say.
“No, I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry that you had to think I was dead.”
My chest feels light—lighter than it has in a while. I knew I had been carrying around a lot of guilt over his death, but I didn’t realize how heavy the burden had been.
He’s alive.
Brooks is alive.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” I tell him. “I wasn’t even allowed to come to your funeral and it ate me up.”
“Darn,” he says. “I was hoping you had gone. I’m curious how everybody reacted.”
“Nearly everybody from East Raven went,” I say.
He grins. “Yes. Popular even in death.”
I shake my head, laughing. It’s funny now, but it wasn’t then.
“Tell me everything,” he says. “What has happened since I perished? You and Estaine all hot and heavy?”
I shake my head. “Our relationship lasted about a week and a half. It turns out that Estaine liked me way more than I liked him.”
“I could’ve told you that,” Brooks says.
“Somebody should have told me. It would’ve saved me from having to break his heart,” I say. “But he and Teagan are happy together now.”
He smiles. “About freaking time.”
“I know, right?”
“Does that mean you’re single?” he asks.
“Ah, no,” I say, my face growing warm at his question.
“You and the bodyguard, huh?” Brooks asks.
I nod. “How’d you know?”
“You’re easy to read,” he says. “I feel like I should be disappointed or something, but I feel like you and I never would’ve worked out, anyway. I’m too impulsive for you.”
He’s not wrong.
“I still can’t believe you’re alive,” I say.
“I just can’t wait to be alive again,” he says. “Imagine how popular I’ll be when I return from the dead.”
I laugh. “Only you would say something like that.”
“Really, I just want to be back home so I can see my little sister,” Brooks says. “I can’t imagine how she’s dealing with me being dead.”
His words make me frown.
I know she must be having it rough.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him, once again feeling guilty.
“Again, I say, it’s not your fault,” he says. “You really need to work on your guilt complex.”
He’s probably right.
Brooks and I sit there talking for a while, just catching up. He asks a lot of questions about his death and if a lot of people are talking about him, which makes me laugh. It’s such a Brooks thing to say. He’s definitely going to be the most popular guy when he comes back from the dead—literally.
I’m a little sad when we have to leave, but I’m also so, so relieved by the fact that Brooks is okay. It’s one less thing for me to have on my conscious.
I’m glad Sander brought me here.
On our way back from seeing Brooks, we grab some food and head back to the hotel. Hunter and Jax are doing something else, so it’s just Sander and me this afternoon. I’m a little antsy from seeing Brooks, and just not wanting to be in the room all afternoon, so I convince Sander to take a walk with me.
I have a lot of questions for Sander, but I’m not exactly sure where to start. Everything is so insane right now.
“So... how did you find out about Brooks being alive?” I ask, as we walk. The view here isn’t as great as it was in Miami, and it’s definitely a lot colder, but it’s not so bad. I don’t mind being here anymore.
Sander grabs my hand. I’m not sure if it’s to comfort me or him, but I like it.
“It was from that email,” Sander says. “When we were on the boat in Miami. A guy on our team, Brett, accidentally ran across the file. Apparently, that is all the CIA’s doing. I’m honestly kind of pissed that I didn’t know. I let you mourn him...”
“It’s okay, Sander,” I say. “You didn’t know. And as soon as you knew, you did something about it.”
He nods. “Yeah, of course. I didn’t tell you just in case it wasn’t true. I didn’t want you to get your hopes up. So, I packed up and brought us here. Hunter and I went last night to confirm that it was true. And after that, I knew it was something you’d just have to see.”
“Why did you think I’d be mad at you?” I ask.
“Because I thought maybe you’d think I kept it secret from you,” he says. “But, Phoenix, I would never do something like that to you.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” I say. “I trust you.”
He seems satisfied with my answer and actually visibly relaxes his shoulders. I knew that he was uptight about this, but I guess I didn’t realize exactly how uptight he was.
Poor Sander. He’s been going through this on his own.
“How did it feel to see him?” Sander asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “Strange. I mean, at first, I thought I was seeing a ghost. And then when I realized he was real, it was crazy. I never imagined this could happen. I felt so much relief, too, knowing that I didn’t get him killed. I had been feeling so guilty over him specifically.”
“I’m glad he didn’t die,” Sander says. “But you can’t let yourself feel guilty if anything happens to anybody. It’s not your fault.”
“I know that in theory,” I say. “But with Brooks, I kept thinking that if he didn’t know me, he would still be alive.”
Thankfully, I don’t have to feel that way anymore. Brooks isn’t dead. Even thinking about it now still blows my mind.
“I keep hoping that this isn’t a dream,” I say. “I keep worrying that I’m going to wake up any minute now.”
“It’s real,” Sander says, squeezing my hand.
I smile, feeling truly guilt-free for the first time in way too long.
“How long are we going to be in Wisconsin?” I ask.
“We’re leaving in the morning,” he says. “It’s not really safe for you to be in the same town as Brooks. Besides, I figured you’d want to go back to Miami.”
“We get to go back?”
“Yeah,” he answers. “Do you want to?”
“Are you joking?” I ask. “Of course, I want to go back.”
Because I was so not ready to leave our little piece of paradise when we came here.
“I’m also arranging it so you can talk to your dad, soon, hopefully,” Sander says.
“That would be amazing,” I say.
I miss my family so much. While being on this trip has been exciting, it’s also frustrating, not being able to talk to my family and share this experience with them. I’m just ready for whoever is behind all this to be caught so I can move on. I want things to go back to normal.
Sander and I walk for a little while, until the sun sets and the air starts getting cooler, then we go back to our hotel room. Hunter and Jaxon go to pick up some food and I work on some more of my homework. There actually isn’t that much work to do. I’m also very glad I finished my math homework last night so I don’t have to do any more of that.
I smile, thinking the next time I am on the campus at East Raven Academy, everybody is going to know the truth—that I’m not Phoenix Underwood, but I am Phoenix Black. They’re going to know that Brooks is still alive. And there won’t be any more hiding. No more secrets.
I can’t wait for this stupid terrorist to be caught.