chapter 19
"You know you can't save the day every day, right?"
Jonas looked up from his post at the floor-to-ceiling windows. He’d left a sleeping JJ to think this shit through. Besides, if he’d stayed, he’d have made love to her again. Marked her as his … again. He hated that someone had hurt her, that that jackoff had bruised that beautiful body.
Noah braced his arms in the doorjamb and studied him.
"Yeah, I know."
"Trust me. Above all else, I understand the run-in-and-kill-it compulsion when the woman you love is in danger."
"I know that, Noah. I just can't help it. I want to be out there. To find him."
"I know. And I get it. But first of all, that's not you. You are the law-and-order guy; the justice guy. He's a prick. And very likely deserves to go home in a body bag. And that's what we'll do. But you know why I can't let you go off all renegade. This is not a Rambo movie."
"I just need to fix this for her. She is afraid, and there is nothing I can do. Do you have any idea what that feels like?"
Noah fixed him with a slanted glare. "Have we met?"
Jonas shook his head. "Yeah, I know. I know you know. I just—" He sagged against the window. "Is it supposed to fucking feel like this?"
"You mean that feeling of being totally out of control, when the only person you ever cared about this deeply is the one person you don't know how to protect?"
"Yeah. That feeling."
"Yeah, it's called love."
"I mean, this is JJ. She's brash, and bold, and doesn’t need anyone. On any given Sunday she's telling this lot over here, a den of killers, to go suck a bowl of dicks. More often than not she doesn't listen, she does not temper her emotions, and fucking hell is that woman loud."
Noah grinned. "Yeah, we've heard."
Jonas glared at him. "You know, we all had to endure you and Lucia, attempting to sneak around but doing a shit job of it. So JJ likes to scream.” He shrugged. “I'm not going to stop the woman."
Noah put up his hands. "I'm not saying you should. It's just, well, we have a sleeping baby most of the time."
Jonas rolled his eyes. "Shut the fuck up."
Noah chuckled low. "Yeah, I hear you. Look, we’re a team. We do things together. We go in together, always. That is how we stay alive. That is how we keep JJ alive. JJ, Lucia, Isabella, each other. Not one of us gets to go off on our own. We've all seen how poorly that ends up."
"I love her," Jonas whispered, finally giving himself permission to say the words. Some of the tension coiled tightly in the center of his chest eased. He did love her. All he wanted was her. Safe. That was it. Even if their shit didn't work out, and God, he hoped it did, but he still just wanted her happiness most of all. Then keep her alive.
Noah smirked. "Yeah, I was wondering when you were going to get around to that."
Jonas chuckled. "Did everyone in this office think we were going to get together?"
Noah snorted a laugh. "What? You didn't think so? Because I could pretty much see where this was heading the moment you first laid eyes on her. You were completely gob smacked, standing there with your mouth open, catching flies and shit." His chuckle deepened. "I will never forget it. JJ strolled right up to you and said—"
Jonas didn't even let him finish before quoting JJ himself. "’Yeah, I get this reaction a lot.’" He shook his head. "She was so full of herself. Seriously. I just wanted to shake her. And kiss her. Which irritated me even more."
His friend’s shoulders shook with mirth. "I know, man. She's a handful. And she deserves someone as good as you. So for once in your life, listen to me. We will get this asshole. But we will do it together, and we will do it smart. No one is going to touch her. This is our family. And we protect what's ours. We'll figure out what's going on with ORUS. What they're up to. And we’ll get retribution for JJ. But first, we watch them. We study what they're doing. We keep this shit methodical. Then we move.”
Jonas nodded. "And then we kill the bastard."
Noah nodded. "Yeah, that too."
This was all JJ’s fault. Every single man in this penthouse was in total kill mode. Now, while some of that was kind of hot, she didn't want this kind of fuss just for her. This had not been her intention. But what are you gonna do? Tell them not to protect you? These guys, however frustrating they were at times, were her family. Which meant they would protect her with their lives. Not that she wanted that, but she knew them well enough to know that they would not listen.
"You guys, thank you for rallying the troops and all that. Especially since I have a penchant for telling you to go suck on a bowl of dicks. I appreciate it."
Matthias shook his head. "Don't mention it, love. We're family. We stick together."
His words were soft. But he was nearly as scary as Rafe with the look he had in his eye. JJ didn't have all the details, but she knew that Matthias, Rafe, and Noah were not your garden-variety security folks. First clue were those tats that they sported on the backs of their necks and their wrists. They were all different, but extremely similar. To the casual observer, they were just a clustering of dots. Maybe freckles? But Lucia had told her once they were tattoos and refused to tell her anything else. Truth be told, she had a feeling that she didn't really want to know. Although, she really did want to know. But these were the kind of secrets she had a feeling would get someone killed. So she kept her mouth shut.
Regardless, Noah was the least scary of the crew. He was mostly charming and happy-go-lucky. Unless it came to Lucia, and then the man went insane. He would do anything to protect her.
Rafe, by contrast, was serious. All the time serious. He rarely joked. The smiles were few, unless he was holding Isabella. Or talking to Lucia or Nonna. He had a few smiles for her too, but he didn't say much.
JJ had a feeling his seriousness had everything to do with whatever the hell had caused him to fake his own death. Again, it was one of those things that no one talked about. She was personally just happy to have Rafe back in their lives. And happy to see her friend get her brother back.
Rafe had tried to kill Noah and the other guys at Blake Security last year, so pretty much no one talked about that time. Except Oskar. Oskar brought it up as often as possible. Always poking and needling Rafe. She was secretly terrified that a proper fight would break out one of these days.
And then there was Matthias. Yes, he could be scary. Especially when he looked like this. But mostly, he was sweet ... as sweet as a British, tattooed, hacker-type could be. As far as she knew, he didn't do as much of the personal security work. He was more on the tech side. Whenever he did do security though, he got this look on his face. Like he’d beat anyone who even considered getting in his way. And when he looked like this, it was scary shit. He looked almost as lethal as Rafe did.
She wasn't an idiot though. All three of them were lethal. She just didn't want to ask if they had any practical experience.
"Thanks for saying that Matthias. You guys are the best family a girl could ask for. But seriously, this whole place has a Debbie Downer mood on it. You guys should go out. I get it; Jonas will be my bodyguard.”
Oskar snorted. "Yeah, we all know how he guards your body."
JJ flipped him off. "Seriously, though. Noah, take Lucia out of here. She's worried. And it's not good for Isabella. You guys go with Rafe. Jonas and I will stay and babysit."
To her surprise, Jonas nodded his agreement, even though Isabella was known for just smacking him in the face whenever he held her. She did it with such glee and a giggle, like it was her favorite activity. And she also had a penchant for vomiting on him. But still, he volunteered for babysitting duty.
"She's right. You guys go out. We'll stay here. Keep an eye on things."
Noah shook his head. "No one's going anywhere. We’re all staying here until we get the lay of the land."
Matthias threw up his hands. "I swear to God, you lot act like a bunch of old biddies. I have eyes on Chamaeleon. JJ is safe. No one is going to let him near her. Why don't the lot of you go out? Lucia, you call the nanny. I'll stay and keep eyes on things. And that way, JJ, you get out too. Jonas, if I have to look at your dour face for another minute, I'm likely to stab you in the chest. So all of you go. Leave the baby with me. It's not like I don't know how to change little love’s diapers by now."
JJ giggled. No one was sure what it was about Matthias. But every single time someone handed him the baby, Isabella gave him a nice warm diaper. So he had a lot of practice changing her by now.
Oskar tsked from the corner. "Does you wanting us out of here have anything to do with your crush on Katie the babysitter?"
Poor Matthias. A flush crept up his neck even as he glowered at Oskar. "Shut it."
Of course that just made Oskar laugh harder.
Lucia stepped forward and put her arm around JJ. "What do you think? Can you try and forget about things for a night and let us cheer you up? We'll have Noah and Jonas and Oskar, and I assume we'll be taking Ryan and Dylan as well. Rafe begged off, said he needed to crash. We'll have a night out. Most of the gang."
JJ slid Jonas a look, and he nodded at her.
"I don't know. I just feel like you guys will be all worried and tense, and I don't want anyone to feel like that."
Lucia just gave her a tight squeeze. "Come on. We're going out. Go get some sexy heels on and make these men buy us drinks and chocolate desserts, and maybe even makeup. You know how Oskar just loves spending an hour in Sephora while I look for just the right shade of lipstick.”
From the corner Oskar moaned. "Please don't. Anything but that."
JJ grinned. "I'm having fun already. Okay. If you guys are sure."
Jonas came over and kissed her on the forehead. "Go get changed. We'll work out some security protocols. We'll go have some fun and attack the problem in the morning, okay?"
She nodded. When she gazed up at him her heart squeezed. “I love you. You know that.”
His smile was slow and confident. “Oh I know. You’ve been in love with me for years.” He nodded sagely as she rolled her eyes. “Which suits me fine since I knew I wanted you from the first moment you opened that sassy mouth of yours. So let’s go out. We deserve to have some fun.”
“You got it. I have just the backless dress and fuck me shoes for this occasion.”
He groaned low. “I swear, you’re trying to kill me.”
JJ grinned up at him, feeling light for the first time since David showed up. “What a way to go.”