chapter 4
She wanted to give him a heart attack.
As Jonas raced through the streets, his eyes went back to his phone again and again to follow the tracker Matthias had sent. A blinking red dot that represented the one woman who could crawl under his skin.
He turned at the next street and gunned the engine. Luckily he’d been close, so the crazy woman hadn’t been walking alone for too long. She was determined to send them all into heart failure. What the hell was she thinking walking home this late by herself?
An open parking space ahead beckoned and Jonas almost took out a part of the curb as he swung into it. He jumped out and slammed the door behind him, locking the vehicle with his key fob. He’d deliberately aimed for a street ahead of her so he could intercept her. Not that she’d appreciate his forethought at all. No. He fully expected to get an earful and a sassy string of expletives from the always delightful Jessica Jones.
He didn’t have to wait long. She was about ten feet away and still hadn’t noticed him, another thing he’d be sure to spank her ass for later. Hadn’t he taught her the importance of being aware of your surroundings? But JJ was in a world of her own, her hips swinging as she strode down the street. It was only as she got closer and he saw her face that he realized this wasn’t just JJ flouting the rules for fun. Her eyes were wild and darted around her frantically. She was clutching her bag to her side, not so much like she was afraid someone would steal it, but like she just needed to hold on to something.
She wasn’t breaking the rules. She was scared. Something had sent her running, and Jonas needed to know what it was.
Jonas didn’t move so she almost crashed into him.
“Watch it, asshole!”
He grabbed her arm and they struggled for a moment. “JJ, calm down. It’s me.”
Her eyes locked onto him, and for a moment she looked so vulnerable that it broke his heart. “Baby girl, it’s me. Matthias sent me your coordinates when he saw you leave work without an escort.”
She nodded frantically then glanced behind her. “I had to go. I just needed to get out of there.”
“Okay, well, we can go wherever you need to.”
His words, meant to calm, seemed to enrage her. She pointed her finger at him, getting annoyingly close to his eyes.
“I know I can go where I need to. That’s what I’m doing. I don’t need a man to tell me where I can go. Nobody controls me!”
Jonas threw up his hands. “No one said you couldn’t. I’m trying to help you. Do you know how reckless this was, walking out alone? Anything could have happened to you, crazy woman!”
JJ clutched her bag tighter. “I’ve walked home plenty of times by myself before.”
“I don’t think you need me to tell you that things are different now.”
The words took the wind out of her sails. JJ sagged a little, her eyes meeting his directly.
“Yeah. I know.”
He fell into step beside her, happy when she followed him back to where he’d parked the car. Their usual routine was for one of the guys to escort her home from the office. If she needed to stay late, like she had tonight, she would call them when she was ready to go and someone would pick her up. Ever since everything had gone down last year, when her best friend had been stalked, JJ had seemed to understand how serious this all was and had cooperated with their efforts to keep her protected.
What had happened tonight to change that? Jonas wasn’t sure what was going on but there had to have been something to send her fleeing into the night looking as haunted as she had earlier.
He held the door open for her and waited as she climbed up into the vehicle. She settled her bag on her lap and then turned to grab the seatbelt. When she saw him still standing in the doorway to the car, she hesitated.
“Is everything okay?”
“Do I look okay to you?” When she recoiled at his harsh tone, Jonas took a deep breath. “Sorry. No. I’m not okay. Not at all.”
Jonas didn’t offer any other explanation, just shut the door and walked around to the driver’s side. Let her stew on that. Maybe then she’d see what it felt like to be left out in the dark, wondering what the hell was going on.
Right before he reached the driver’s side door, he stopped. He was angry. Not just annoyed or peeved, but truly angry. Because whatever had scared JJ badly enough to have her running out without a word to her security was something that she hadn’t come to him about. That didn’t feel right at all. As much as they bickered, did JJ really not know that he’d drop whatever he was doing to help her?
He took a deep breath before opening the door and getting behind the wheel. JJ looked over at him. What he was feeling must have been broadcast on his face because she groaned.
“I don’t want to hear the lecture right now, okay? I was busy at work and just felt like going home without calling out the cavalry, okay?”
Jonas shook his head, unbelievably disappointed. Not just because she wasn’t taking her own safety seriously but also at the boldfaced lie. Did she really think he was that unobservant? It was an insult to him, not just as a security agent but as a man. He saw everything about her. She loved Lucia like a sister and put up with her best friend’s fussing, even though she hated to be hovered over. She liked to watch Oskar lifting weights, much to Jonas’s annoyance and jealousy.
He knew that she had a serious love affair with vodka. She had a hate affair with men and always chose badly. Including the dipshits she dated who didn’t even bother to pick her up at home.
So why would she think he wouldn’t see through such an obvious lie?
“I’m not going to give you a lecture, JJ. Just a reminder. If shit goes bad, we can’t help you if we don’t know where you are.”
Jonas had expected her to have a scathing response or to tell him where to stick it. But what JJ did next was the absolute last thing he’d ever expected. She turned to him with big blue eyes.
And burst into tears.
JJ had been only seven when she first discovered the power of tears.
She’d gotten caught by her father sneaking a cookie. Her dad was a stickler for the no-sweets-before-dinner rule. Sneaking a cookie without asking was grounds for losing her television privileges. The moment her eyes had filled with tears, her father had started to shift on his feet. She’d added a sniffle and before she knew it, he was shoving a cookie at her.
She’d learned it applied to men in general when she’d tried it on her first boyfriend at the age of twelve, Sal Morini. Sal had tried to break up with her before the seventh grade dance so he could go out with a girl who’d put out. Namely Vicki Dematto. As soon as she’d turned on the tears, he’d backtracked. Of course at the dance she’d ditched him to party with Lucia and her friends, then told Vicci Dematto what he’d said. No girl had gone out with Sal the rest of the year.
Those early experiences had been eye-opening experiences and led to an epiphany for JJ. Ever since, she’d never had an issue using her big blue eyes to get her out of trouble.
But this time, she wasn’t pulling a sympathy card or being manipulative at all. She was honestly just overwhelmed.
And furious that Jonas was the one to witness it.
But, he didn’t seem to be enjoying it any more than she was. He stared at her in shock before swinging his eyes back to the road.
“Oh God, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to yell at you.”
Hearing him backtracking somehow only made it worse. She was a strong, independent woman and she didn’t need to be pandered to. It was humiliating that she was crying right now when all she wanted to do was rage, but after being so sure that someone was following her, her emotions were raw and right at the surface.
“I’m not crying about that. Damn it, why am I crying at all?” She swiped at her cheeks and glared at him, as if the tears were his fault.
Although maybe they were partially his fault. She’d been holding it together while walking on her own. Then Jonas had to show up looking all kinds of edible and reminding her how much her safety meant to everyone else. Of course she’d broken down! What woman wouldn’t, after a guilt trip like that?
Never mind that what he’d said wasn’t even that bad. JJ needed someone to blame just then, and Jonas was readily available.
“You show up talking about Lucia and my safety. I thought someone was following me, so I told him I had a Taser and a dick, but really, all I had was the dick and I was scared, because even if that dick is huge, I mean it’s probably more effective as a club.”
Jonas glanced at her from the corner of his eye, and then mouthed the word dick slowly. Under any other circumstances JJ would have laughed. He had the cautious expression you use when talking to someone who is completely batshit crazy.
Maybe she had lost it. She reached back into her purse and pulled it out. “See, I have a legitimate dick.”
His eyes went wide. “Damn, I think that thing is setting some unrealistic expectations.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s not for me to use, asshole. It was a gag gift that Lucia gave back. And it was all I had as a weapon.”
He worked hard to wipe the smirk off his face. “Jessica, I apologize if I made you feel like I was coming down hard on you. I just want you to know that your safety is our top priority.”
He made another turn that had her shifting slightly, almost falling into the door. Part of her wanted to give him shit for his driving, but she couldn’t even muster the energy. She’d been running on pure adrenaline before, but now that she was tucked into the safe confines of the car with Jonas, the fear from before came back full force. What the hell had that been about? She’d heard something; there was no way she’d imagined that. And if she’d heard something, and someone had been there, why hadn’t they answered when she called out? Why would anyone want to scare her?
She ignored the voice in the back of her head. You know who might.
No. That was her old life. Things were different now. Are you sure? Because maybe the fire wasn’t an accident.
She couldn’t go down that spiral again. She had a brand new life now.
They pulled into the underground garage in the Blake Security building. JJ had been so deep in her thoughts that she hadn’t even realized they were home. Home. The place you were supposed to feel safe. JJ hadn’t felt like that about any place in a long time. But she could honestly acknowledge that she’d felt like that the past few months living with Lucia and her crew. Her living arrangements had seemed like a gross overreaction to her friend’s security issues the prior year, but she’d soon come to love it. Surrounded by muscular, hot men all the time and living rent free. Not a bad deal at all.
But now she could see that she’d allowed it to lull her into a false sense of security. Sure she was safer living with the Blake Security team, but she must never let herself think she was truly safe. No matter where she went, she would never be safe.
“You know you can come to me with anything, right?”
JJ looked over to see that Jonas had cut the car off and turned in his seat so he could watch her. Suddenly self-conscious, she pushed her hair behind her ear.
“Sure. I mean, it’s your job.”
“No. Not just because it’s my job.”
Awareness blossomed and JJ flushed. His eyes didn’t leave hers. She fidgeted with the strap of her bag, unsure how to handle this side of him. It was weird to have him looking at her like this and being nice to her. Angry and argumentative Jonas? She could handle him with one hand tied behind her back. But tender, sex-on-a-stick Jonas? Well, she didn’t have the first clue as to how to act. What if she admitted that she’d wanted to call him earlier? What if she told him that she thought of him when she was alone in her bed at night and he laughed?
She’d die instantly.
“Well, I’m fine,” she protested weakly. “I don’t need anyone’s help.”
“Maybe not, but I do.”
“You need my help,” JJ replied, deliberately misunderstanding him.
She could tell by the flare of heat in his eyes that he was gearing up for one of their knock down, drag out wars of words. Her body responded in kind. For the first time, she catalogued the symptoms like an outsider. Increased heart rate and breathing. Flushed skin and a sense of anticipation.
God. It was so obvious looking back on it now. The whole time they’d been fighting they’d been engaging in foreplay. She could only wonder if it was as obvious to everyone else in the house. Probably. Which was just great. How was she supposed to look the others in the eye now?
“I need you to want my help. I need to help you. Because the idea of anyone fucking with you makes me crazy.”
The idea that Jonas would unleash his rage on someone just because they’d bothered her pleased her greatly. She clamped down on the response. It was far too close to a “girlfriend” type of thing, and way too possessive for her taste. She’d had more than enough of possessive men who thought they owned her.
“What did I just say? Something just made the light go out of your eyes.”
She shook her head. “Nothing. But I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me. I just want to be left alone.”
“Who isn’t allowing you to be left alone?”
Damn him for being so smart. The only way to keep from giving him all the clues he needed was to distract him. Luckily, she knew the perfect way to do that.
“Right now the only one annoying me is you. So I guess I’ll say thanks for the ride and good night.”
Before he could react, she reached over the console and grabbed the front of his shirt. He let her tug him until he was close enough for her to smell the scent of his cologne. Their eyes met, and suddenly Jonas smiled. The impact of it, especially so close, made JJ feel like she was flying. And suddenly this wasn’t about distracting him anymore. It was about doing what she’d wanted to do for ages.
Kiss him.
His lips softened under hers and he let out a soft groan that ricocheted through the still interior of the car. It was incredibly intimate, secluded there with just the two of them and the rapidly increasing sound of their breathing. For those moments, they weren’t Jonas and JJ, mortal enemies.
They were two people who connected like lightning, taking each other in like they wanted to merge into one being.
She gasped and a moan slipped loose. Jonas took that opportunity to slip his hand into her hair, anchor her head, and deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding over hers expertly.
JJ hooked her arm around his neck, holding him still, and he opened his mouth wider like he was trying to swallow her whole. If the console hadn’t been between them, she likely would have climbed into his lap, but instead she just sucked on his lower lip until he moaned into her mouth, the sound finally bringing her back to reality.
They stayed for a beat staring at each other before she pulled back and opened the door. The rush of cool air coming in cleared her head, and JJ wondered if it had finally happened. After years of pretending to be okay, if maybe she’d finally had a mental breakdown.
“JJ, what just—”
“Good night, Jonas.” She closed the door and walked quickly to the elevator.
For the first time that day, luck was on her side, because after she leaned forward for the retinal scan, the doors opened immediately.
The doors closed just as Jonas rushed up. She heard his muffled curse get fainter as the elevator ascended.
“Good night, indeed.” JJ touched her mouth.