Aimie! Hello there!”
Aimie laughed as River came toward her. It was as if the guy was never working. He surprised her with a hug and then led her over to some chairs in the waiting area. There was a couple there, too busy talking to themselves to notice her, and a woman watching the nurses’ station as if she was waiting for news. There was also a guy pacing, but he seemed to be nervous because of something else because he didn’t even react when a nurse or a doctor passed by.
Focusing back on River, Aimie winked. “I brought you sandwiches. I figured it was something different than cafeteria food.”
River blinked. “You brought us sandwiches? Ryan and me?”
She nodded. “You eat together a lot of times, and he never said anything about a girlfriend, so I guessed you could use some homemade love.”
She wriggled the paper bag she was carrying and he instantly fished for it, making her laugh. “Hands off, doctor! I’ll give them to Ryan so I know he got them.”
“Ugh, cruel woman. What if I want to eat one right now?”
Aimie sighed. She wouldn’t let the poor doctor go hungry. “Do you want to eat one right now?”
She could tell he considered his answer, but then just shook his head. “Nah, I’m actually gonna wait. So, how are things at home?”
His expression got soft and she lowered her eyes. “Better and worse, I guess.” For a brief moment she wondered if River knew of the nightmares. “He’s better about coming home, but…I think he didn’t expect being married to be like this.”
And somehow, neither had she. Maybe it was being married to a doctor, or the fact that she wasn’t working, but whenever he was home she felt the need to be around him and had a hard time being okay with him needing a few minutes for himself. Her head knew he needed a break because he’d been around people all day, but her heart felt resentful.
“Why’s that?” She held his gaze, considering her words, and decided maybe he wasn’t the right person to talk to. He was Ryan’s friend and she felt as if she was imposing on that if she now took him as a confidante, too.
Instead she smiled. “Because we thought it would be hot sex all around, all the time.” She winked and he broke out into a deep belly laugh, his voice booming through the small waiting area, causing the couple and the woman to look up. Aimie chuckled and he shook his head, pinching her cheek.
“You’re adorable. I’m…oh, here he comes.”
River stood and so did Aimie, but it was obvious Ryan was in a hurry. He still took the time to kiss her thoroughly, and she caught River turning away, as if the public display of affection bothered him. She wondered what was up with that and when Ryan grinned about the sandwich bag and vanished with it, promising to be home on time, she figured she might as well talk to River about it—especially because he didn’t seem in a hurry to move.
“I’m sorry if Ryan kissing me bothers you.”
River scratched the back of his head. “No, that’s not it. I was raised to give people their privacy, and a kiss or something…I…it’s just P.D.A. that gets me a little uncomfortable at times, especially if it looks like it’s leading to more.”
She arched a brow and he touched the tip of her nose. It made her feel like his little sister or something and it was somehow annoying and yet endearing. Damn, she liked that guy.
However, she needed to get going if she wanted to crank out some words in the nearby café before going home to cook for Ryan.
And she needed words. She’d neglected the writing she’d picked up, and hoped to make something off it. She knew all about independent publishing, and how the chances stood, but she was ready to fight because if she just had one or two books that sold well, she’d have some money to her own name. She wasn’t above begging Tessa to mention her books on her show—if she considered them any good, either, and that would probably help.
“Riv, I gotta go.”
He grabbed her wrist as she wanted to turn away. “Hey, don’t be a stranger, okay? I like talking to you. It’s…refreshing.” She had the feeling there was more he wanted to say, but when he didn’t and just shook his head, she left promised him she’d be around and then she was out of the hospital and on her way to finally get her head in the right space.
* * *
His cock…no…his dick felt huge…no…his—”
“His big cock felt swollen in her hand. Hey Aims.”
Aimie jumped in her chair, blushing furiously at the voice. She looked up at her friend, finding Tessa grinning and a few patrons shaking their heads at her. Not that Tessa seemed to care.
“I hadn’t realized I talk out loud while writing,” Aimie admitted and Tessa grinned.
“I didn’t realize you planned on writing those kinds of books.”
And Aimie wouldn’t. “I hate sex scenes. Like…not reading them, but writing them, so I write them all in the beginning, and by that I mean all two, and then I can focus in peace on the rest of it.”
She closed her laptop and considered getting herself more coffee, but Tessa nodded toward a cup on her table, and Aimie grabbed it thankfully.
“What are you doing here?”
Tessa shrugged. “This is my café. I always come here whenever I have a few minutes to spare. Ela took Johnny. I swear, I cannot get my son back since he’s much less breakable and sleeping. Anyway, I figured I’d grab some coffee and saw you sitting here, murmuring. It was funny.” Her expression turned serious then. “Good that you’re back with the writing. I found someone who designs covers, and was thinking I’d pay your first one as support. You know, a start-up gift.”
Aimie gaped at her. “You’re being serious?”
Tessa shrugged. “Why not? It’s just a small thing and hell, I love looking at covers.” She winked and Aimie had to chuckle.
“I see. Hey, while you’re here…have you ever met River while you were in the hospital with Jazz?”
Her friend thought for a moment. “Not that I recall. Why?”
“He’s one of Ryan’s friends and I feel as if something’s up with him, but…well, if you don’t know him, you cannot exactly guess what’s going on.”
Shaking her head, Tessa sighed. “There are a lot of broken people at the hospital, and not all of them are patients. I loved talking to Will, but I cannot help but think he’s broken inside, too. After all, what gets a soldier to step back from active military duty and vanish in a hospital?”
“Insightful.” Aimie took a deep breath. “I want to take them all out of the hospital, make them see there’s more to life.”
“You’re trying with one who’s the most broken,” Tessa assured her, taking her hand over the table, and Aimie hesitated a moment, then she lifted her eyes.
“And I’m failing.”
Instantly her friend shook her head in denial. “He hangs out with the guys a lot more, and he actually has a life outside of the hospital. I think you’re doing well. You knew it wasn’t a thing changed in a day. It’s not that easy. It wasn’t with Jazz. Ongoing process and all, remember?”
Yes, Aimie did, and yet she was sure it was different between the corporal and her friend. They’d been so in love, there had been no other way but making it.
“He shuts me out a lot of times. He covers it up well with kisses and questions, but later, when I have time to think properly about our talks, I realize he never answered my questions, or avoided them. And whenever he has nightmares…I’m terrified to touch him because I feel as if—”
“Communication, Aims. With that, you cannot trust your feelings because they lie to you. Hell, I know what I talk about. Ask him if it bothers him, and if he tells you so, drop the topic and don’t feel insulted.”
Aimie arched a brow. “So you didn’t feel insulted when Jazz told you to step back?”
“The way Jazz reacted and the way he spoke were two different things. I doubt Ryan is as out of it as Jazz was, but you wanna know something? Lashing out won’t help your insecurities. You consider going back to Australia, don’t you?”
Her tone was quiet, subdued, as if Tessa already knew the answer, but how could she when Aimie had no idea which way was up?
“I have a little more than a month left, and we’ve been two months going.”
“You love him.” It wasn’t a question, but rather a statement, and Aimie smiled.
“Sometimes love is not enough.”
Tessa smirked. “And sometimes it’s all you need.”
If only that were true.
* * *
When Aimie had been at the hospital, things still had been going good. Fast-forward two hours and Ryan had longed for his shift to be over like never before. He unlocked the front door, dropped his bag by its side, and then went straight over to the kitchen, putting Aimie onto the counter and kissing her surprised sputter away. Blindly he reached for the stove and turned it off, not caring if he ruined whatever Aimie was cooking, then he pulled her top over her head.
“Ryan,” she whispered and he took a condom out of his pocket, wordlessly putting it next to her on the counter and kissed her again with a need that bordered on desperation.
She was finally all in, tearing at his shirt, and he moved back long enough to get her to free him from it, then he pulled down her bra cups and sucked her nipples between his teeth, biting lightly until she moaned and gasped his name, her hands drowning in his hair, pulling him closer.
He lifted her slightly, just enough to pull her sweatpants down, then he nudged her back until she was spread out and he kissed his way up her thighs, licking over her panties, just wanting to tease her, but then inhaled and realized he wanted more.
He wanted to feel her come apart under his lips, under his tongue, and he wanted it now.
Pulling the material aside, he found her sensitive bundle of nerves, licking over it with the tip of his tongue, not giving her more, and heard her moan. She was warm, compliant, and so ready, he reveled in it.
He needed it, needed to forget the horrors he’d been through that afternoon until shift was over, needed to know he was causing good in the world.
“Jesus, Ryan, slow down, you’ll…bloody hell…doc…” Her hands tugged on his hair and he couldn’t help but wish she’d be a little rougher, reminding him he was alive and okay.
“No slowing down, Aimie. You need to come for me, and you need to do it now,” he replied, shifting until he could slip two fingers into her, finding a rhythm with his hand and his tongue that soon brought her to teeter on the edge. She was quivering, begging him to stop even while she demanded more, and he gave her more, letting another finger join, curling them inside of her, stroking her until she cried out his name, breathing hard and trying to close her legs. He didn’t let her, drawing out her orgasm, feeling it around his fingers inside of her, and when she calmed down again, gasping for air, he moved and picked her up, kissing her while carrying her over to the couch.
“Do I actually get to be with you now?” she asked, holding the condom up and he swallowed, nodding.
He was hard as a rock, wanting her to ride him, to set the speed, and yet he wanted it that moment, and not a second later.
He lost his pants after putting her down on her feet, then he was kissing her again, his hands digging into her hips while her small fingers wrapped around him, stroking for a brief moment before putting the condom on.
He dropped onto the couch and pulled her with him, knowing the moment he was inside of her, he wouldn’t last long.
She slid onto him, her panties pushed aside, holding onto his shoulders while holding his gaze, and he drank her in: the wild hair, her lips red from where she’d bitten them, her eyes filled with lust and need.
God, he’d never loved another person the way he loved her, had never longed for someone as much as he longed for her.
At the end of the day it didn’t matter to him how often they fought because she was his everything.
The only thing he had to work on was showing her he still thought that, and that was something he failed at more times than not.
* * *
She closed her eyes as he kissed her shoulders, her neck, bit her skin lightly only to ease the sting with his tongue. There was an urgency in him she’d never before experienced, and she matched his pace with her own, her body still primed for an orgasm although she’d just come.
She loved feeling him so close, with barely any room between them, and she licked her lips, wishing she had something to hold onto, but there was just his back and she dug her nails into the skin, hearing him groan.
“God, Aimie, I love you so much. I couldn’t think about anything but coming home to you,” he suddenly whispered, catching her off-guard.
He sounded broken, as if he’d shattered and had needed her to piece him back together.
“Ryan,” she replied, biting his earlobe gently, although it was obvious he needed more, and nothing gentle.
“Yes, Aimie. Yes.” She hadn’t asked a question, and didn’t need to. Rolling her hips against him, she felt him deeper inside her, felt him swell more inside of her, hard to begin with but now almost ready to burst. She bit his shoulder, her need to scream out in pleasure overwhelming, and his grip on her tightened, almost bruising as he pressed her to him as if he hoped to become literally one with her.
“So close, beautiful. So damn close,” he muttered against her skin and she scratched across his back, felt him shiver harder, gasping for air, begging for more.
As if he needed her to punish him, to cause him pain, and that thought almost halted her movements.
The thing was, she didn’t break his skin, didn’t draw blood, and it was obvious it spurred him on, brought him closer to the edge he clearly craved, so who was she to deny him that?
Especially because she was his wife and if he couldn’t expect her to give him what he needed in a safe environment, who could?
Drowning one hand in his hair, she tugged, holding onto him, and then kissed him roughly, mindful to not hurt him yet demanding, and he moaned into her mouth, his eyes rolling back in his head, and when she bit his lip softly, she felt him come inside of her, twitching while she still moved, much slower now; she helped him ride it out, the way he’d let her enjoy coming down from the high, then she held onto him when he slumped against her.
She kissed his cheek, his shoulder, eased her thumb across the bite marks, and waited for him to move first.
“I’ll just get rid of the condom,” he whispered and she got off his lap, sitting on the couch, tugging her bra back into place before he came and joined her, gathering her in his arms. His shoulders were red, and his back scratched, but he seemed to be fine with it.
“Work was hell after you were there,” he whispered against her skin, peppering it with little kisses.
“What happened?”
“A guy walked in, not feeling well. Said his stomach hurt. The nurse asked me to see him, but I made him wait because we’d had a breakdown and a woman throwing up and I was hungry and unfocused, wondering when I’d get a chance to eat your sandwich. Only when I came back after taking a bite the guy with the stomachache was on the ground, vomiting blood.”
Guilt. She understood that much and pressed her face into the crook of his neck. She inhaled deeply, taking him in.
“I bit you.”
“I liked it.”
“I think I hurt you.”
He softly shook his head, pulling me back until he could see my face. “Aimie, you didn’t. You turned me on. I’m not into pain, or at least not that super strong shit, but you biting me? Marking me as if I’m yours? Perfect, because I am yours. Let my colleagues see the marks when I change, I don’t care. I’m yours. And you gave me what I needed. Although I feel horrible for just…for the way I barged in. I needed you so badly, needed to remind myself I could make someone feel good.”
She rubbed her nose alongside his neck and up his jaw, pressing her lips against his, then she whispered without moving back much, “He died, didn’t he?”
His eyes closed, locking her out of his thoughts until he suddenly spoke. “He did. Swallowed razor blades. He was suicidal and his mother and wife had taken everything away that could kill him. His father had an old razor though, one where you need to switch blades regularly, and…”
“Not your fault,” Aimie whispered, kissing his cheek and lips over and over again.
He started trembling, his dark eyes filling with tears he tried to blink away, and she framed his face.
It should’ve been weird, with her half and him fully naked, but it wasn’t. It was intimate, having shared what they had, and now having him break down while she was holding him.
“I love you, too, Ryan. So much my heart wants to burst each time you hold me, but handsome, you couldn’t have done a bloody thing.” At least she hoped so.
She couldn’t imagine what brought a person to swallow blades in order to die, especially with the pain it had to cause.
“I’m so glad you’re here, Aimie. So. Fucking. Glad. ”
She smiled to herself softly, because sometimes all she needed was him sharing exactly what was on his mind.