Aimie felt Tessa hover next to her as they waited for the car that would bring them to their helicopter ride.
“You haven’t once mentioned getting this whole thing taken care of,” she pointed out and Aimie turned to her, glancing around for the others. They stood a little off, looking at a map of what they’d see.
“You know those dark hours of the night, when you’re alone with your thoughts and think things you’d never tell anyone? Those hours when you’re desperate and maybe honest with yourself for the first time?”
Tessa nodded, her eyes shining with memories, as if she recalled those hours for herself. “What about them?”
Aimie bit her lip, wondering how best to say it when her eyes found Ryan. He explained something to Evy and his profile was outlined by the sun coming from behind him.
God, he was handsome.
“During those hours, the few hours when no one was there to judge me, not even my own mind, I wondered how it would be if I touched him just a little more often when I was over here. Would he like it? Give it back? Flirt back? There were what if’s, Tess. So many of them, and all of them involved him because he’s smart, beautiful, serious, and he has a great job. I…” She searched for words while Tessa’s eyes rested on his face, her expression thoughtful.
Aimie took a deep breath. “I didn’t think it was ever possible. I’m from Australia and he’s from here. After meeting him for the first time I pushed everything he made me want into the farthest corner of my mind. It’s impossible. But during those dark hours? That’s when we can be like Jazz and you, and we can make the impossible possible.”
Not that she’d ever say that to Ryan. She had to admit it felt weird even saying it out loud in the middle of the day.
“You never once showed any special interest in him. I mean…”
Aimie shrugged. “I couldn’t. It was not possible. It is not possible, and I wasn’t ready to risk going back heartbroken.”
“Nothing changed, Aims,” Tessa whispered and Aimie knew she wasn’t trying to hurt her. She was just stating the obvious.
“Everything changed, because I’m still here for three months, he has conditions, and I’m married to him. If nothing else works, we can still get divorced. Do I want to have a ‘divorced’ behind my name? Certainly not, but I can tell you that maybe I’m ready to try those three months with him.”
God, was she ever. With her mind and body feeling fitter by the minute, she knew with more certainty she wanted to be around him.
“Are you fucking insane?” Tessa asked eventually, but Aimie heard the laugh in her voice.
“Absolutely bloody out of my mind,” Aimie agreed, hugging her friend. When a car pulled up, Tessa nudged her.
“Well, go and make sure you end up next to him. The two of you know nothing about the other one,” she whispered.
Aimie wanted to protest, wanted to tell her that it wasn’t true, but that would be a lie.
“Mrs. Spencer?” Ryan called and Aimie glanced back at Tessa, happy to see a smile on her friend’s face. It was weak, but it was there.
The car really was a smaller bus and still there was enough room for two people to sit per row and not squeeze in tightly.
Ryan leaned in. “Tell me you remember last night’s kiss at least,” he whispered and Aimie blushed, but figured honesty was her best shot.
“I didn’t even know it was you, remember? I said as much during breakfast,” she admitted and he rested his head back, groaning quietly.
“They were right. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t really happen.” He sounded almost defeated.
“They don’t know everything. After all…” She held up her hand, wiggling her fingers so he could see the small diamond he’d put on her. “It must be real, I have a pretty ring.”
A ring that, to her surprise, fit perfectly around her small fingers. It was elegant, looked old, and she wondered if he’d spent a lot of money on it or simply had bought a fake one.
Earlier she’d been tempted to take it off and just check for a stamp, but the fear of finding out it was cheap was too big. For some reason she’d be disappointed. Plus, it would color her skin green in no time if it was fake and she’d know.
“You do,” he replied, something on his face she couldn’t place.
It was then she realized Tessa was spot on. They didn’t know much about the other one and it was something she definitely wanted to work on.
* * *
Ryan had a hard time not looking disappointed. When Hilary had dared him to ask Aimie about remembering, he had been sure Aimie would recall at least something. Her comment when he’d come in he’d just counted as a sober confirmation of the marriage promise of the night before.
Knowing she didn’t remember a single thing made him feel strangely hollow. He couldn’t believe she’d been that drunk, but maybe his perception had been off because he’d wanted it. God, he’d wanted her to say ‘yes’ no matter what.
“Ry?” Aimie asked, nudging him, and he gave her a smile.
“Still here. Wondering if I’ll enjoy the helicopter ride.”
He was aware of the murmuring in the row in front of him where Hilary and Tessa sat. The second girl was pale, her expression drawn tight and he wondered if he should offer help. Not that he could say much.
“You can hold my hand if you get scared.” Aimie laughed and he focused his attention back to her. She, too, was pale, but he knew where that came from. Reaching into his backpack, he took out the two pancakes he’d snuck from breakfast.
“Here, eat. It’ll give you color,” he nudged and she stared at him, taking the food then.
“Are you saying I look like shit?” she asked playfully.
He leaned over. “I’m saying you’re damn beautiful, but missing color in your cheeks.” And that actually worked, making her blush.
“Better,” he remarked, leaning back smugly.
She glanced around and he wondered what she’d be saying with everyone around, although it was obvious she wanted to keep it a secret. “What is this going to be, Ryan? What do you expect of me?”
He had mentioned conditions and he sure as hell was going to hash them out for her, but not when the other four were there, too, most likely listening in. Women had an uncanny talent to listen and talk at the same time.
He was not going to risk that, so he grinned instead. “Sex four times a week at night and at least once with the lights on. Blow jobs whenever and—”
Someone slapped the back of his head, proving he’d been right about them listening in.
“I’m going to lock Aimie in and not let her out of my sight,” Hilary announced, making everyone else chuckle.
Ryan didn’t. “No, she’s moving in with me. We’re married now, and people need to see us together if her applying for citizenship will go through.”
Silence spread in the van and he felt all eyes on him, but the only pair he cared about was the blue-green one next to him.
“Are you being serious?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“Of course. I mean, someone needs to clean for me,” he teased, making light of it, chuckling when she playfully slapped him.
“What the hell? Never figured you to be a guy who insisted on gender roles so much,” she replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest and he considered teasing her a little more, but then decided against it.
He didn’t know how far he could go without overstepping boundaries he had no idea about.
The car came to a stop and saved him from having to answer. She winked at him as they got out and he turned, realizing there were two helicopters.
“It’s four-two, so you need to decide—”
“Aimie and I take the two spots,” Ryan instantly decided, not caring what the others were thinking.
“I was about to suggest the same,” Tessa announced to his surprise, arching a much-telling brow at Aimie. His wife—and damn if that wasn’t weird and amazing at the same time—just grinned, making him question his decision.
“The couple over here then,” one pilot called and the group split up. They were prepared and instructed and then strapped in.
It took until they were seated and the pilot spoke to them through the headphones that he realized all the things he’d hoped to get settled with Aimie up here would either be witnessed by the pilots or not happening at all.
The lift-off was smooth and Ryan realized his stomach dropped the higher they went. He’d never considered riding a helicopter would bother him, but when Aimie held out her hand, as if noticing his discomfort, he smiled and entwined his fingers with hers.
“Newlyweds?” the pilot, Craig, asked and Ryan wasn’t sure what to say.
“Vegas weds,” Craig declared as if he had sensed Ryan’s hesitation.
“We’ve known each other for a while now and are here for a hen’s night… well, week really,” Aimie explained. “He luckily came along because my bestie considers him a hen.” She winked at him.
“Alone with all those chicks? And I thought you were basically two split groups when we found the reservation. Oh well, I guess there are worse things. Especially if one snatched you up.”
Ryan had every intention of saying that no one snatched him up because he’d instigated the wedding, but he didn’t. Aimie squeezed his hand again, obviously feeling his anger. He couldn’t believe the douche upfront was so judgmental.
“Okay, guys, on your right you can see…”
Ryan didn’t listen, but when Aimie leaned closer to the window, her eyes lighting up with happiness, he decided he didn’t mind the tour at all—even if he wasn’t going to take a look.
* * *
Aimie couldn’t help but admire the Grand Canyon, red rocks and whatnot. She noticed that Ryan didn’t look out of the window once, but decided that she didn’t care. The hour was over way too soon and the moment the helicopter touched down and they were allowed to leave, she jumped out in search of the others.
“That was incredible,” she screamed and found Tessa grinning just as widely. Hilary and Evy held onto a very pale Emma.
“She threw up,” Evy reported and Aimie watched Ryan cross over, checking her pulse and eyes before nodding.
“She’ll be fine.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” Hilary grumbled.
Aimie couldn’t get past thinking Hilary would dislike any guy getting close to her girls as long as they hadn’t proven their true intentions.
“Closed space and the height… Jesus, I thought I was going to die,” Emma grumbled. Tessa leaned in, giggling.
“And I thought everyone was gonna throw up alongside her. I think I was the only one who saw the amazing landscape,” she whispered.
“You were fine up there?” Ryan asked and Tessa’s smile fell, her brows furrowing.
“Yes, why shouldn’t I have been?”
Ryan shrugged, but there was something in his eyes. “You felt nauseous last night. I just wasn’t sure if your stomach had recovered yet,” he hinted, but Tessa just cocked her head.
“I can take care of myself just fine. You know, after all your drinking, I was more worried about you.”
Okay, there was some serious hidden conversation going on and Aimie wanted to know what it was when Evy came and pulled Tessa away.
“Spill,” she demanded, poking her husband into the chest.
“I can’t,” he replied, taking her hand down, but keeping it in his. “You need to ask Tessa about that.”
“Okay, you have something on her, but what does she have on you?”
He closed his eyes for the briefest of moments and yet Aimie saw it. “No idea what she thinks she has on me because there’s nothing,” he assured her.
She wasn’t sure Tessa would tell her if she asked her, but then again, her husband should, right?
“You’re lying. I can tell you are. So? Honesty and all? Maybe I didn’t make that clear last night, but that’s something I need in a marriage, so how about you start right now, mister?” she challenged and a gleam entered his dark eyes.
“You don’t even remember that. I cannot make you repeat your vow, but I can seal the marriage again properly… well, as properly as we can do outside.”
Aimie was about to say something when he drew her in, one hand around her hip and the other around the back of neck, effectively immobilizing her as he pressed his lips against hers, bending her back slightly as he kissed her, surely aiming to erase every single thought from her mind.
Only faintly did she hear the hollering going on as Ryan’s tongue swept into her mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back as if her life depended on it. If he was out to drive her crazy, she surely could try the same, right?
Her heart was racing in her throat, his stubble brushing against her skin as the kiss deepened. When he finally pulled back, she opened her eyes and found him with his still closed, licking his lips as if he was savoring her taste.
“You’re so much better at this when sober,” he remarked and she grinned, almost insulted.
“Well, I can say this kiss will be much more memorable than last night’s,” she teased and he gaped at her, putting her back on her feet. She hadn’t even realized he’d practically been holding her up.
He started to tickle her, but she walked out of his arms and over to her girlfriends, unable to help the wide grin on her face. It probably had been how Tessa had felt when Jazz had kissed her at the airport with all of them watching.
“Look at you,” Emma said, slapping her shoulder.
“He tried to prove something there,” Tessa remarked and Aimie winked.
“Like Jazz did at the airport?”
Her friend blushed, the smile she wore the happiest Aimie had ever seen on her.
“I can’t believe we still have two and a half days to go,” she groaned while everyone instantly started playfully punching her.
“You cannot be serious! We’ll never see you again after this,” Hilary cried.
“Yes, you’ll be locked up in that perfect little house with your perfect husband,” Emma complained and Tessa’s smile faltered.
They all knew Jazz wasn’t perfect. He was quite the contrary, but Tessa hadn’t given up on him and he’d come a long way since then.
“I also have a perfect son,” Tessa pointed out, winking, although her smile had faded a little. Aimie didn’t doubt she was worried about Jazz’s PTSD kicking in again, but his sister, Kris, had promised to be around most of the time.
Aimie couldn’t imagine what it felt like knowing your soon-to-be husband was caught in a nightmare you couldn’t withdraw him from.
Glancing at Ryan, she realized for the first time that she, too, had married a soldier, and wondered what darkness she’d find behind his bright smile and happy moods, and if, in the end, she would stay—or if she’d run.
* * *
The girls gave him weird grins whenever he glanced their way and Aimie nudged him, catching his attention.
“We don’t know each other very well, so I thought we could learn a little more about the other one by playing fifty questions and I start,” she remarked, and then went on, “have you been to a war zone?”
He stopped and swallowed, and then forced himself to resume walking. “Sure, why don’t we start with easy questions like my tours,” he whispered and she chuckled, but it sounded strained.
“What did Tessa say to bring on this question?” he asked, wondering if she realized he was stalling.
Aimie shook her head. “Nothing. We were talking about her perfect little world, which we all know isn’t so perfect, but much more than it used to be, and I wondered about you. I mean…I married a soldier.” Her proud grin made him smile, too.
He still rolled his eyes. “You’re just proud of that because you guys have some kind of idea about soldiers being the better dates or whatever,” he teased.
“Hot in uniform, although you’re probably hot as a doctor, too.” She tapped her chin while eying him up and down and he considered reaching out to brush his hand across her cheek, but decided against it. He really needed to have those ground rules laid out because he needed to get on the mission of making Aimie glad she’d married him—as in seriously, and not just out of brief relief.
“I did a few tours, and some ended worse than others. However, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a position like Jazz’s. And, Aimie, you need to remember that PTSD is not the same for everyone. Not every soldier will have flashbacks like Jazz had them. Sometimes PTSD manifests itself in the way a person will try to do everything to not have downtime.”
Like he had done by constantly working. For a moment he wondered if she realized what he was trying to say.
“So? You think not everyone can handle someone who has it?” She glanced at him, curiosity dancing in her eyes, and he shrugged.
“Not everyone has as much reason to stay and fight as Tessa.”
In fact, he couldn’t see anyone with fewer feelings stay and fight a sometimes hopeless battle. “Some people are born fighters.”
He gave her a soft smile, but it was tinged with sadness because she had no idea just yet what was waiting for her. Clearly she saw something on his face because when she spoke again, she had opted for a topic change.
“So, a river tour,” Aimie whispered conspiratorially, “you’re not going to get sick in there, right? Not like in the helicopter where you suddenly realized you’re afraid of heights.” She was grinning and he shook his head.
“You’re my wife. You’re supposed to be nice,” he fussed.
“Ryan, if anyone can tease you constantly, it should be your wife. Count on me to make your life funnier.”
“Or hellish,” Ryan muttered and she laughed more. They’d reached the point they would depart from and everyone decided to walk around a little to check the canyon out, while Tessa sat on a bench.
“I’ll stay with her,” he promised and Aimie gave him a gentle nod before following Hilary up a pass. They had more than twenty minutes left until their tour and obviously no one was worried about being late.
Once everyone was out of earshot, he sat down next to Tessa, taking her arm while looking at his watch.
“Way to be inconspicuous about taking my vitals.” She laughed and he grinned guiltily.
“You’re pale and it’s not only the mornings,” Ryan replied and she sighed, but stayed quiet.
“Has it been like that during your first pregnancy, too?” He needed to know; and that even when knowing all pregnancies differed.
“During the first I was half way crying my eyes out throughout the day. I didn’t realize I was pregnant until I nearly collapsed from exhaustion. Barely eating while feeding a fetus is not good for your health. I’m eating much better this time around. Please don’t tell the others,” she whispered.
“How far along are you?”
She shrugged. “Thirteen weeks and two days, give it or take? I haven’t told Jazz yet and I…” She didn’t finish and Ryan leaned back.
“Why?”
Tessa stood then, pacing in front of him. “I have no idea how he’ll react. We didn’t talk about anymore children and he’s just getting back to his old self. There are barely breakdowns anymore, and the nightmares have lessened in quantity and intensity.”
Ryan shook his head, unable to believe Jesse Connor would be anything but excited. “He’s going to be out of his mind happy. I saw him with John. He’s—”
“Incredible, I know. Ryan, it’s the second pregnancy I didn’t plan or talk to him about. I went back on the pill when it became clear I wouldn’t be breastfeeding. I used to have such bad period problems, the pills helped. It wasn’t for protection. Then Jazz and I found our way back together, and I took them religiously, making sure I never once missed one. And I didn’t.”
The way she looked, he believed her. “It’s not unheard of, you know? A failing pill?” he pointed out gently and she nodded.
“I know, but why did it have to fail with me?”
“Maybe it was what happened the first time around, too. Ever consider that? You’ve had the same one back then, didn’t you?”
She nodded, crossing her arms in front of her body. “Yes. I’d changed it like five months before I came to the U.S. because the old one I had wasn’t produced anymore. Oh God, if that’s really true…”
“We’ll make sure you get a new one after this pregnancy and see if they’ll influence your hormone levels the way they should before you run the risk of an unplanned pregnancy again. However, now you should be glad. It’s going to be another bundle of joy!”
“Twins, Ryan…they’ll be twins. I asked Jazz’s mom, and somehow every so many generations there is a set of twins. I…”
He stood and pulled her in his arms, squeezing her tight because he was happy for her—and knew Jazz would be over the moon.
“However, there’s something else,” she started, her tone changing. “That ring she’s wearing; Ryan, that’s not a new one. I’d even say it’s not a cheap one, either. You planned this, which is why you stopped drinking. I know you did, even before we left. You were mostly sober when you walked up to that altar, didn’t you? I saw it, saw your juice in the glass, the water in the shots. The barkeeper worked with you when you thought we weren’t looking.”
He lowered his chin, not wanting to say anything, but Tessa poked his chest, making sure he looked at her again. He couldn’t believe she’d watched him this closely. What could’ve possibly tipped her off?
“How could you? You deceived me by planning this. Why not just date her like any other person in the world?”
Ryan snorted, wondering if he really wanted to have this talk with her now but then figured there’d never be a better time.
“Oh please, Tessa. All of those girls want a love story like yours. You don’t honestly think regular dating would get them to do anything? No. Your best friend married someone she hated because he promised her the world, and yes, she fell in love with him, and probably was when he first told her to get married, but that’s almost as incredible and unusual as your story.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I tried. You have no idea how much Aimie can ignore flirting or dating attempts. Doing this the normal way would’ve never worked because she—”
“Is from Australia, I get it, but Ryan, you tricked her.”
“You should’ve seen how eagerly she agreed. Like…Tess, you cannot imagine how happy that made me. Plus, shouldn’t you be glad she’s married to someone who fell head over heels for her the first time he saw her? Remember that evening? I had a broken nose. She wore sweatpants and a hoodie. A gray one, I think. She blushed up to her hairline when she saw me and damn, I was lucky I had a reason to be at your house other than a social call, or I’d have probably gotten lost in her presence that first night.”
Tessa’s jaw dropped and he realized he needed to stop saying what came to his mind and start thinking again. “She turned me down, Tess, more than once, even though I’m not sure she even realized it. When the girls planned the Vegas trip, I packed that ring and figured if I got a chance, I’d use it. I’ll make her fall in love with me, and I’ll make her happy. I swear. I meant it this morning, and I still do now. Let me be the Jazz for Aimie. I might not be as swoon-worthy or handsome, but I’m devoted and all I need is a chance. Now I have it, even if I kinda forced her luck on her.”
Tessa’s angry expression had vanished and by now she smiled ever so softly. “You’re an idiot, you know that, right?”
“But you love me,” he replied quietly, tentatively, and she hesitated a moment, and then nodded.
“If you hurt her—”
“Hilary already guaranteed to grill my balls if I do anything wrong, so…” He shrugged and Tessa laughed.
“That’s Hils for you, ladies and gentlemen. One day, a guy will have a hard time cracking that rough exterior and making her happy.”
Ryan nudged her with his shoulder. “It might take a soldier for that task.”
Tessa rolled her eyes. “I’m not sure it won’t take a whole army.”
At that Ryan just shook his head, hoping now Tessa would speak in his favor instead of against him.