Being here felt strange, almost intrusive. I’d never been in the shop when it was empty. Chris had given me the alarm code and a key right before Colin was born. He said it was just a precaution, just in case something came up while he was busy at the hospital. He trusted his employees and one of them had been with him for over a decade, but he wanted another backup. Someone nearby, someone reliable.
“Someone who’s family.”
The last time I was here was only a little over a week ago when I dropped off the monthly financial reports and handed over the payroll checks. Chris emerged from the small stockroom and greeted me with a smile. He thanked me for agreeing to watch the baby so he and Heather could enjoy a night at the mountain cabin for their anniversary.
I felt a chill even though the place was far from cold. The carefully stocked shelves and bright displays were projecting a kind of post apocalyptic feel in the dim light so I found a switch and flipped on enough lights to erase the afternoon shadows. The inventory was eclectic, everything from gaudy roadside souvenirs to handmade fine art.
After a few minutes I checked my watch again. Nash was late. I wondered if he’d show up. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t. The store really did require some immediate management decisions. I hadn’t made that up. But dealing with Nash Ryan might not be an easy task. He still radiated defiance, the years having done little to blunt the natural rebelliousness that once fascinated me.
That was another thing. The infatuations of adolescence hadn’t faded completely. This morning I’d felt flustered and nervous under his gaze. It was a feeling I disliked, one I didn’t pursue. That wasn’t all due to Nash. I was thinking of my own mistakes, of realizing too late that a man who made me uneasy was the wrong choice.
As for Nash, he knew damn well how good he looked in the kitchen standing there in his boxers, a ripped monument of virility, silently daring me to check him out. I couldn’t help but comply. Moreover, I had a feeling he was well aware of it.
I sighed in the empty store. As usual, I was overanalyzing. In all likelihood Nash wasn’t trying to catch anyone’s attention, least of all mine. He was tired and struggling to keep up with his new responsibilities. I was the one who’d busted into his kitchen without calling this morning.
I’d been driving Emma to preschool and making a mental note to give Nash a call later on today when I detoured over to the oldest section of Hawk Valley. I couldn’t stop thinking about Colin. I needed to make sure he was all right after being placed in the care of a man who was obviously clueless about taking care of a baby. A man who’d always despised his father and had never shown the slightest interest in Colin’s existence.
That’s not fair, Kat.
I drummed my fingers on the metal bars of a postcard rack. Maybe it wasn’t fair. Heather had confided in me so that I knew the relationship between Chris and Nash had been strained, complicated. But I was willing to set fairness aside when it came to Colin’s best interests. If Nash proved to be an incompetent guardian then I was prepared to step in.
The door chime jarred me out of my brooding and Nash walked through the glass door, car seat in hand.
“He’s asleep,” Nash whispered and looked around for a place to set the baby down.
I beckoned and led him to Chris’s office in the back. Nash gently placed the car seat in the middle of his father’s old desk. He stopped and looked around for a second and I wondered what he was remembering. He must have been in this room a thousand times while growing up. But when he turned to follow me back to the store his face was impassive.
“Did the car ride knock him out?” I asked when we were out of earshot.
Nash nodded and leaned against the checkout counter. He gazed around the store but didn’t seem especially interested in anything he saw.
“Heather used to drive him around the block over and over again to lull him to sleep,” I said.
Nash scratched his chin.
I cleared my throat. “I guess it’s been a long time since you’ve seen the store.”
He pointed to the far wall. “There used to be rows of t-shirts over there.”
“They were poor sellers. The store still carries some but they are higher quality.”
“Do they all have the words Hawk Valley on them?”
“Pretty much.”
He scoffed. “I don’t know who wants to buy that garbage except for people who already live in Hawk Valley.”
I argued with him. “You’d be surprised. We’ve had more tourist traffic through here in the last few years. The city council just voted to fund a campaign to change the town slogan to ‘Discover Hawk Valley: Gateway to the Hawk Mountains.’ The population in the Phoenix area continues to grow and people are always looking for weekend escapes to somewhere slightly cooler.”
Nash smirked. “You sound like a travel brochure.”
“So? I think Hawk Valley is a great town.”
He raised an eyebrow. “So that’s why you stayed here?”
No, that wasn’t why. I’d always dreamed of a big city future. Things just didn’t work out that way. Still, I felt defensive and irritable that Nash was knocking my hometown. There were far worse places to be.
“I like to think I can appreciate what’s in front of me,” I said, “instead of always hunting for something else.”
Nash laughed outright.
“Shh,” I warned. “You’ll wake Colin up.” I didn’t know what I’d said to entertain him. “Why do you find me so funny?”
Nash looked at me. “I don’t, Kathleen.”
“That’s the second time today you laughed in my face.”
He frowned. “When was the first?”
“When I gave you my business card.”
“I don’t remember laughing.”
“It was evident from your expression that you were barely holding it in.”
He let out an obnoxious low whistle. “Damn, have you always been this psychic?“
“Cut it out.”
“No, seriously, you could monetize that skill.”
“Your sarcasm leaves a lot to be desired.”
“You could rent a little hovel on Garner Avenue, hang beaded curtains in the doorway and charge people twenty bucks apiece while gazing into a glass ball and pretending to see something exciting.”
“Nash!”
“Kathleen,” he said, mocking my frustrated voice.
“You’re exhausting,” I said wearily.
“And you’re easily flustered,” he said and yawned.
I took a breath, trying to keep my temper and failing. “Look, my plate is full. I’m a business owner, a mother, and a student. But I’ve bent over backwards to help you and I don’t appreciate being regarded as a joke!”
“Shhh.” Nash put his finger to his lips and glanced toward the office doorway. “Now who’s gonna wake the baby up?”
Nash wasn’t laughing now but he was clearly enjoying himself. I was struck by how little I really knew him. He’d been a puzzle even to his family. Heather confessed that she kept hoping he’d mellow out and accept Chris’s attempts at reconciliation. But that never happened because evidently Nash was still a stubborn bastard. I shouldn’t be surprised. The boy who went around with a truck-sized chip on his shoulder had never evolved. He’d just gotten bigger. Stronger. Better looking.
Apparently Nash realized he’d overstepped. He sighed and his expression became almost remorseful. “I don’t think you’re a joke, Kathleen. Not at all. I apologize if I gave that impression.”
I wasn’t sure he meant it but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Apology accepted. And you can call me Kat.”
“I’ll stick with Kathleen.”
“Suit yourself.”
Nash looked around again. “So what am I doing here?”
It was a deep question. “I know it’s not ideal but Colin needs you and-“
“At the store, Kathleen. What was so urgent that I needed to come down here today?”
I had to move to the counter where I’d left my laptop. Nash watched me from less than two feet away. I flipped open the lid and examined the data I’d already memorized.
“Net income is still in the red this year. Sales were hurt over the winter when there was a ton of road construction on Garner Avenue. There’s a temporary cash flow problem. It happens now and then and Chris would usually loan the money to the store out of his personal funds but the renovations he and Heather completed on the house were costlier than expected. He didn’t have much to spare. Compounding the problem is the fact that the bank changed his line of credit terms. There’s enough to pay utilities and meet payroll but not enough to order new seasonal inventory and with the busy summer season coming up it’s essential to address the issue. Plus every day the store stays closed is a day without sales.”
Nash looked at the door. “Doesn’t look like anyone’s beating a path to get in here.”
My eyes narrowed. “The big sign that says CLOSED might have something to do with that.”
“So the store is failing?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You sure didn’t paint a rosy picture.”
“You need to reopen, Nash. And you need to address the line of credit issue and order new inventory before the summer rush.”
He sighed. “For crying out loud, I don’t know anything about running a souvenir shop.”
“Of course you do. This is your family’s business. You were practically raised here.”
“No, I grudgingly operated the cash register during the summer when I was a teenager. I never knew or cared how the place functioned.”
I shut the lid of my laptop. “Well, it’s time to care, Nash.”
He didn’t agree. He again glanced toward the room where Colin slept. “Maybe it’s time to let it go,” he said softly.
My mouth fell open. “You can’t do that.”
He gave me an odd look. “It’s a souvenir shop, not a national treasure. The world will be just fine without more ugly ceramic mugs.”
My fists clenched. “This was your father’s business. He would have wanted it to survive.”
“Yeah, he probably wanted to survive himself. But as I reminded you earlier, that’s not the reality we’re dealing with.”
“Nash,” I said sharply, then bit off the next words. My mother had always warned me that bossiness was not an agreeable quality.
Actually, her words were, ‘Don’t be so bitchy,” but the sentiment was the same. I couldn’t bulldoze Nash into seeing things my way. He had a lot on his plate too.
“It’s important,” I said softly.
He raised an eyebrow but waited politely for me to continue.
“The store,” I continued. “It’s hard for small businesses to hold on in this day and age. Your family has run this place in one form or another for over forty years. It means something to the people around here, and it will mean even more to them now that your dad’s gone.” I scanned the back wall where paintings from artists in the area hung in expectant silence, waiting for a buyer. “Everyone wants a reason to be optimistic.”
“A happy ending,” Nash said but he didn’t sound sarcastic now. Only sad. “I don’t think it’s possible in this situation.”
“Maybe not a happy ending. Just a less tragic one. It would hurt to see the store close. And I don’t just mean because it would be an empty storefront on Garner Avenue. Every painting you see on that back wall comes from an artist, including your Aunt Jane. There’s probably not a kitchen cabinet in town that doesn’t have one of those Hawk Valley Happiness cups that Heather designed. Your father sponsored a local little league team every year. The two employees are an elderly woman with a disabled husband who has worked here for over ten years and a college student studying to be a teacher. There are a lot of people, including me, who are happy to help you keep the store open if you’ll only give it a try.”
“That was a mouthful,” Nash said when I finally stopped talking.
“Will you think about it?”
His eyes landed on a stunning landscape painting depicting the highest peak in the Hawk Mountains. I knew it had been painted by his aunt and I wondered if he recognized her style.
“I’ll think about it,” he agreed.
I smiled. “Good.”
Nash nodded in my direction. “So what’s your deal?”
“My deal?”
“You wear a lot of hats. You’re an accountant, a mom, you rescue small town stores and judging from your interaction with Colin you’re also a skilled baby whisperer. And did I hear you mention you’re a student too?”
“Online classes but yes.”
Nash studied me. “Is there anything you can’t do, Kathleen Doyle?”
“Relationships.”
UGH!!!
Nash chuckled. “Noted.”
I was inwardly cringing. “That sounded pathetic.”
He shrugged. “A little.”
I rolled my eyes. “I swear I’m not begging for pity. I just meant that I don’t have the time nor the inclination to deal with relationships.”
“You’re not the only one.”
“Maybe someday my outlook will change but for now I’m better off alone.”
Nash looked interested. “Bad experience?”
A chill rolled through me. “Yes.”
“You’re honest,” he said, nodding. “I like that.”
No. I’m the opposite of honest.
“He must have been Emma’s father?” Nash guessed.
The subject of Emma’s father was not a good one. Someday there’d be a reckoning for the things I’d done, the lies I’d told. But that wouldn’t be happening today and none of it was Nash Ryan’s goddamn business anyway.
“I haven’t seen Emma’s father since I was pregnant,” I said. At least that part was technically true. I made a show of checking my watch. “Speaking of Emma, I’ve got to go pick her up.”
A sudden cry signaled the awakening of Colin. My first instinct was to bolt down the hall and get him but Nash beat me to it. Colin was still crying when Nash returned with the car seat.
“Hold on, kid,” he said. He set the baby down on the floor and hunched over, fumbling with the belt fasteners. I waited a few seconds, then bent over to help. I had Colin freed and in my arms in three seconds flat.
“He’s probably wet,” I said, patting Colin’s bottom. “Where’s the diaper bag?”
Nash blinked. “Ahh…”
“You didn’t bring any diapers?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No. I didn’t think we’d be gone long.”
“Nash, you always need to bring the diaper bag. I gave it back to you packed with clean diapers, remember?”
He was annoyed now. “I forgot, okay? I’m not used to carting around so many accessories.”
“Well, you need to get used to it. Babies have a lot of needs.”
“Kathleen,” he said wearily and I thought he was going to say something nasty but he just exhaled noisily and took a step in the opposite direction while looking away. Colin was still squirming. I bounced him my arms a little to distract him.
“You drove here in the minivan, right?” I asked.
He shot me a look. “Is there a point to that question?”
“Yes. Heather usually kept a few spare diapers in the glove compartment.”
“That’s a good idea.”
Exasperation was getting the best of me. “Can you please go get one?”
Nash was looking more irritated by the second but he went outside without another word. He returned a moment later with a fresh diaper. He dangled it front of my face and I grabbed it.
“You want me to change him?” I asked.
“Is there any way to stop you?” he grumbled.
I ignored the question and carried the fussing baby to the office where I set him down tenderly on the surface of his father’s antique desk on top of a blanket and swiftly changed the diaper. It wasn’t until I was done that I discovered it hadn’t been wet after all.
Nash was leaning against the counter with his arms crossed when I returned. He watched silently as I removed my hair from Colin’s chubby fists and carefully re-installed him in his car seat.
“He’s probably hungry,” I said.
“Probably,” Nash agreed and took the car seat from me.
“I can meet again the same time tomorrow. We’ve got a lot more to talk about if there’s a chance you’re going to keep the store running. I want to show you the financials. And since your father covered the register so often you will need to hire another employee unless you plan to be here just as much.”
“Stop.” Nash shook his head and for a second he just looked extraordinarily tired. “Enough for now, okay?”
I was doing it again. Being pushy, overbearing, demanding.
Bitchy.
I swallowed. “Okay, Nash. I’ll stop.”
He paused by the door and stared at me for a few silent seconds. I didn’t know what he saw when he looked at me. The resident smarty-pants who thought she’d take the world by storm and now struggled to make ends meet as a single mom in the small town she’d once sworn she’d escape.
“I’ll be in touch,” Nash said and then he was gone.
I took a small object from the counter and held it in the palm of my hand. It was a duplicate copy of the key to the store. I’d forgotten to give it to him.