2 - Samantha
The plane lands in New York and I glance out the window. Dusk is starting to settle and the sky is ablaze with colours. I’m like a zombie, going through the motions without really thinking about what I’m doing. Before I know it, I’m loading my bag into the back of a taxi and giving the driver Jess’s address.
I glance at my big purse and see the blue manila folder sticking out of it. I turn back to the window, trying to blink back the tears that have gathered in my eyes.
Divorced.
God, I hate that word.
Or rather, soon to be divorced. As soon as I sign on the dotted line it’ll be official.
The buildings rush by us and I stare through the window without seeing anything. We’re on a freeway, and then we’re winding through streets with tall houses all stuck together. It looks just like the movies.
It’s not until the taxi driver stops the car that I blink and take a deep breath, waking up from my daze. I pay the driver and carry my suitcase up the half dozen steps to my best friend’s front door. My arm is just lifting to knock on the door when it swings open.
“Sam!” she exclaims. I can’t help but smile.
“Hi, Jess.”
“Come in, come in. Are you hungry? Your room is down the hall on the left. Here, let me take this. How are you?”
The questions come hard and fast and I can’t keep up. I just barely am able to grasp that I’m in New York, and the blue folder in my purse is burning against my side. Jess turns around as we walk down the hall and purses her lips together.
“Sorry. You must be exhausted. The twins and Owen are all asleep already. If you want to just pass out I’ll get out of your hair.”
“No,” I say suddenly. Jess’s eyebrows raise. I try to smile. “I mean, I’d rather spend a bit of time with you. If you don’t mind.” I’m not ready to be alone yet, is what I mean to say. Jess understands right away and she smiles.
“Here’s your room. Drop your suitcase and come to the kitchen. I opened a bottle of wine just in case you wanted some when you got here,” she says with a wink. I try to smile again but it feels like my face has forgotten how. Jess wraps me in a hug and squeezes me close.
“It’ll be ok,” she whispers.
I follow her to the kitchen and we sit at the little round table in the corner. She takes out two long-stemmed wine glasses and pours generous amounts of wine in each.
“Welcome to New York,” she says with a grin as she raises her glass. We clink them together and I take a sip. The rich, bitter red wine fills my mouth and I sigh in satisfaction, feeling my shoulders relax right away.
“Thank you for having me,” I finally say.
Jess shakes her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. When you called I was ready to jump on a plane myself and go down to Lexington. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”
I try to respond but all of a sudden there’s a lump in my throat. I lift the wine up to my lips and take the tiniest sip before putting it back down. My eyelids are prickling and my heart is thumping against my ribcage.
“How did this happen?” I whisper, finally lifting my tear-filled eyes up to Jess. “How did this happen?”
Jess reaches across the table to put her hand over mine. Her eyes are soft and caring and full of concern.
“It happened when that asshole broke his vows and showed his true colours,” she responds.
“What did I do wrong?” I ask, shaking my head. “I was a good wife. We weren’t even married three years. I cooked and cleaned and had a job and - ”
“Stop,” Jess says sternly. I glance up at her, surprised. “You did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? Absolutely nothing. Cheaters cheat, that’s what they do. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, it’s him who did you wrong. It’s him who did it to you and it’s him who is the asshole. Not you. You are a fucking saint, if you ask me,” Jess says as she takes a swig of wine. “I’d have keyed his car and burned all his things in the front yard.”
I feel a hint of a smile breaking my lips. Jess glances at me and grins. Her smile fades and she shakes her head. “I thought you guys were the real deal. When I went to your wedding I thought I’d be visiting you when you were eighty with dozens of grandkids.”
The tears prickle my eyes and I put my hand over my forehead. I nod, because my voice is gone. Jess reaches over and rubs my back, cooing and making soft motherly noises.
“Come on, Sam. I know it’s horrible now and it feels like it will always be horrible. But it won’t. Look at the bright side, you have no kids. You have skills and drive and you can get a job anywhere. The house in Lexington is paid for, so you can sell your half to Ronnie and be done with that toxic town. You have options,” she says. I finally lift my eyes up to her and she reaches across the table to hold my hand. “So many options. You hear me?”
“I hear you, but it still feels like my life is over,” I say. “That sounds so pathetic,” I add with a snort.
“No, it doesn’t. It sounds completely reasonable.”
Jess scoots her chair over and wraps her arms around me. I lay my head on her shoulder and finally let the tears flow. I cry into her shoulder as she holds me and rocks me back and forth. Finally, when the tears start to slow down I sit up. I take my wine and lift it to my lips to take a long drink.
“You’re right,” I say as I turn to Jess. A smile starts to form on her lips. “I have options.”
“You do. And you can stay here as long as you want to. I mean it. As long as you want to.”
I nod and smile. I don’t respond because I don’t trust my voice. The tears are prickling my eyes again, but this time they’re tears of gratitude and love for my best friend.
“So,” I clear my throat when the word comes out as a croak. “So it’s the twins’ birthday party tomorrow?”
Jess leans back in her chair and smiles. “Yes! Terrible twos,” she laughs. “I thought the ones were terrible but apparently it gets worse!”
I laugh and shake my head. “I’m sure you’ll manage.”
“We will,” she says with a smile, glancing down the hallway. A pang goes through my chest when I think of the partnership that Owen and Jess have. I thought I had that kind of love too - the kind of love that lasts decades. I was wrong.
“What’s planned for the party?”
“We’ve got a clown coming!” Jess says with a laugh. “I didn’t even know they still had clowns, but apparently you can hire them by the hour. They call themselves ‘children’s entertainers’.”
I chuckle. “That’s very glamorous.”
“Very,” Jess adds. “Anyways, this company is supposed to be really good. I just hope the kids like it and don’t end up traumatised and scared of clowns for the rest of their lives.”
“Scared of children’s entertainers, you mean.”
Jess laughs. “Yeah, right, sorry. Children’s entertainers.”
I lean back in my chair and my shoulders relax again. For the first time since I left Lexington, I feel my body begin to unwind. Jess talks and we laugh until the bottle of wine is empty, and then she wraps her arms around me once again. I sigh into the hug and then we just look at each other and nod.
“See you tomorrow,” she says with a smile. “Sleep tight.”
“You too,” I answer. I walk to my bedroom and close the door, grateful that the wine is making my eyelids heavy. I might actually be able to sleep tonight.