44 - Dean
I feel like I’m going to my own funeral. I’ve slept a couple hours, but when I see myself in the bathroom mirror it looks like I haven’t slept in days. I sigh and splash some water on my face.
What’s the point. It doesn’t matter what I look like or how I feel, this wedding is going to happen anyways. I lean my hands against the mirror and close my eyes.
Sam.
I picture her laugh and the way her green eyes sparkle in the sun. I think of everything that I’ve anchored in my mind and I hang onto it. I’m doing this for her. I’m doing this to keep her safe.
I open my eyes and look at myself in the mirror before standing up a bit taller. I’m doing this for her. I can endure it all: the wedding, Victoria, my mother, my father. I can endure it all if I know that Sam is safe. I wipe my face clean and wait for Ronnie and the other man to lead me to the courthouse. I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the stain on the carpet before lifting my eyes to the window.
I can do this. I can do this for her.
The drive to the courthouse feels short, too short. All too soon, Ronnie is opening my door and grabbing my arm to drag me out of the car.
“Alright, alright,” I say, ripping my arm away. “I’m getting out. Let go of me.”
He grunts and takes a step back. A gleaming black Rolls Royce pulls up behind us and my mother gets out, followed by my father, Victoria, and Victoria’s parents. All five of them are dressed impeccably. I look down at my dishevelled clothing and sigh.
Victoria takes a step towards me and I snort.
“Funny, I wasn’t expecting you to wear white today,” I snarl.
She rolls her eyes. “This wasn’t the wedding I was expecting either, Dean. Get over it.” She crinkles her nose and looks me up and down. “Would it have killed you to shower?”
“I’d rather you be disgusted with me,” I retort.
Victoria opens her mouth to respond when my father makes a noise. He frowns as he looks at his phone screen.
“What is it, Henry?” my mother asks. My father lifts his eyes and frowns, his thick eyebrows drawing together like two grey caterpillars.
“That girl. She sent me this.”
He turns the volume up on his phone and our voices ring out. My mother takes a step closer to his phone and her face freezes. The entire conversation when Sam was in the room is played over the speakers. I look at my mother, whose face starts to fall. It twists and contorts until she looks at Victoria and explodes.
“You just couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut, could you!”
Victoria flinches. Her face is completely pale and she shakes her head.
“It’s ok. Daddy has the police commissioner in his pocket. She has nothing. She can’t do anything with this. Right, Daddy?”
Victoria’s father is beet-red. He looks like he’s about to explode. All five of them look at each other and then at me.
“She’ll go nowhere with this,” my mother says.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Sam says. We all around to see her walking down the courthouse steps. She looks like an avenging angel, a halo of light around her as she walks towards us. She’s standing tall, her hair falling in loose waves around her head. A light breeze lifts her hair and makes it flow behind her. Her chin is held high and her eyes are blazing as she stares at my mother.
“I have copies of that recording in more places than I can count. If anything happens to me or Dean, it’s going straight to the press.” She smiles gently and opens her palms towards us. “Political careers are made and broken in the press. Even a small town girl like me knows that.”
My mother makes a gargled noise and takes a step towards Sam. Sam holds up a hand.
“If that doesn’t work, I have evidence that you coerced Ronnie into threatening Dean.”
With a gargled scream, my mother lunges towards Sam. Finally, the strength returns to my body and I jump between the two of them, holding my mother back before she can touch Sam.
My mother stops and lifts her eyes up to me. She looks at me with pure venom and I take a deep breath. I can feel Sam behind me and the fire of my family’s hatred in front of me.
Slowly, I turn towards Sam who finally looks at me. My knees feel weak as her eyes break through the fire and anger inside me. Her presence is like a cold drink of water on a hot day, soothing the cracks on my heart and dulling the hatred inside me. I take a step towards her. I take a step towards love, towards goodness, towards Sam.
I can hear my father’s protests but I ignore them. Sam extends a hand to me and I slip her fingers into my palm. The instant my skin touches hers I feel revitalised. I stand a little taller, my start to shoulders relax, and the tension in my face starts to fade. A small smile starts forming on her lips and she nods to me.
The two of us walk down the rest of the steps hand in hand and head off down the street. In this moment, I know that I’ll never let her go. No matter who comes between us, what threats are levelled against me or her, I’m not going to let anyone hurt her or keep her away from me.
She’s mine, and I’m hers. Nothing can keep us apart.
She squeezes my hand and guides me down the road. Once we round the first corner, she lets out a long breath and starts chuckling. Her laughter gets louder and her shoulders start to shake. After a few moments, the last bit of tension in my body disappears and we lean against each other as we laugh and laugh and laugh.
We walk a bit further until Jess rushes towards us. A torrent of emotions passes over her face when she sees us, from concern to confusion to finally a relieved smile.
“It’s over,” Sam says. “It’s over. I was shitting my pants, but it’s over.”
Jess’s face breaks open into a smile and tears start forming in her eyes. “Well what are you guys waiting for, kiss each other or hug or something! Don’t just stand there laughing!” she says, laughing as she says it.
I turn to Sam and let my laughter fade, not needing any more encouragement to tilt her chin towards me and wrap her in my arms. I kiss her like I’ve never kissed anyone before. I kiss her with the knowledge that I’ll never kiss anyone else, that she’s the one for me and I’m the one for her.