34 - Dean
After I say goodbye to Sam, I pack my equipment in my car and head home. I feel good - I had a great show with the kids, Sam’s boss seemed to like me, and Pat will be happy to have a new partnership with the after school program. My new job is going well, and Sam and I are stupidly happy together.
I lug all my props and my costume over to the elevator and carry it up to my floor. I shuffle the big box from one hand to the other and find my keys. I’m focused on balancing everything in my hands and I swing the door open, holding it ajar with my foot as I shuffle inside. I drop the box onto the floor and let out a big sigh, stretching up tall and running my fingers through my hair.
My mother’s voice makes me jump out of my skin. I stumble backwards and whip around to see her sitting at my kitchen table.
“Mom!” I exclaim.
“Dean,” she says. She stands up and walks towards me slowly. I adjust my clothing, still wearing my clown suit tied around my waist. My mother’s eyes drift down and she scoffs. She hands me a piece of paper.
“What’s this?” I ask. Instead of answering, she nods to the paper and I unfold it slowly. I frown as my eyes scan the page. “What is it, a contract?”
“Your contract,” she corrects. “Clause 42.B. The non-compete agreement.” Her eyes narrow as she looks me up and down. “Last time we spoke I told you I’d give you three months to think it over with Victoria. And time is almost up.”
“What does this have to do with anything?” I ask, waving the paper at her. She sighs and shakes her head.
“Well, it seems that the time for reflection didn’t convince you to play by our rules. Looks like you’ve gotten yourself a new little girlfriend. So maybe this will change your mind. Read the clause.”
I shiver as she mentions Sam and flick my eyes down to the page. I scan the paper again and I read the heavy legal writing. I frown. “This says I can’t work for any investment firm for five years after I leave Dad’s firm!”
“Ding ding ding!” she says with a bitter laugh. “It seems you’ve breached the terms of your contract by getting yourself a new job.” She takes a step towards me and runs her finger down my cheek. “And as much as I’m proud of my boy for being so resourceful, I won’t hesitate to make sure to punish you to the full extent of the law.”
“Mom…” I say, frowning. “What am I supposed to do! I need a job. This is all I know how to do.”
“You’re supposed to dump that little whore you’ve found yourself and marry the fucking woman we chose for you.”
“Don’t call her that.”
“Fine. The selfless children’s program director from fucking Virginia. Really, Dean? A girl from a small town in a dead-end job? You’re giving up your future for her?”
“I’m not giving anything up,” I shoot back. “I’m giving up the future that you and dad had planned out for me. For yourselves! When are you going to understand that I’m my own person. I’m not going to throw my life away in a fucking loveless marriage just because my parents told me to!”
My mother sighs and shakes her head. “I hoped it wouldn’t come to this. If you don’t come back to the family, not only will we sue you for breach of contract, but you’ll never see Samantha again.”
My heart drops to my stomach and my brow knits together. “What does that mean?” I ask slowly, not wanting to betray the panic that’s rising in my throat.
My mother waves her hand and straightens her jacket. She pats her hair down in that familiar motion, making sure not a single hair is out of place.
“It means what it means,” she finally says, swinging her eyes over to me. “Look at where we are, Dean. We’re up on the tallest, thinnest branch of the tree. You don’t get here without leaving some people behind.”
“What does it fucking mean,” I say, taking a step towards her. “Don’t you fucking dare hurt her, or - ”
“Or what,” she interrupts. My chest is heaving up and down as I try to understand what she’s saying. “You’ll hurt us? You’ll sue us? My dear son,” she says, taking a step towards me. “You are nothing. You have nothing. You’ve been able to keep your bank accounts, your apartment, and your new job because I’ve allowed you to. But now, my patience is wearing thin.”
She grabs her bag and steps around me, turning around when she gets to the door. “Break up with the girl today, and show up to your father’s office tomorrow morning. There are no other options. Your time is up.”
With that, she swings the door open and walks out. All the air in my lungs goes out with her and I slump down onto a chair. I’m breathing heavily, head in hand, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.
She threatened me, she threatened Sam, she threatened to take everything away from me. As good as it felt to be independent, I don’t doubt that she’d be able to close my accounts and lock me out of everything I have.
“Fuck!” I yell, slamming my palm down on the table. “Fuck fuck fuck!” Every word comes with another slam. I grab the contract she brought me and rip it into a thousand pieces, throwing them across the room. They flutter down, taunting me as they fall one by one at my feet.
I take a deep breath. I don’t have to break up with Sam. I can figure this out.
As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I know it’s not true. They’re too powerful, they have too much control over me, and I know that they’ll stop at nothing to make their dreams of political success come true. I’m not their son anymore, I’m an obstacle in the way of their rise to the top. It feels like a dagger in my heart. After everything I’ve done, all the hours I’ve put in at work, all the time I’ve spent trying to be a good son - it means nothing.
What can I do?
I can run away. I can tell Sam to pack a bag and I can drain my accounts and run away. I grab my phone, ready to call her and tell her before slumping back down in a chair.
She’ll think I’m crazy. There’s no way she would agree. And plus, where would we go? My parents have friends all over the country, all over the world! They’d find us, they’d hurt her, and they’d force me to marry Victoria.
No, I can’t put Sam through that. My priority has to be to keep her safe. What’s that thing that people say, when you love something you have to let it go? Maybe that’s what this is.
I don’t realise I’m crying until I feel the tears falling off my chin. I bring my hands up to my face and sob, my whole body shaking. It takes me a long time to accept that in order to protect Sam, I need to get her as far away from me as possible.