There is nothing worse than loneliness. For as much as a person can say they wish they’d disappear what they truly want is to be found and for someone to care. To notice them and maybe even miss them. Someone to share their day with and hold them when nothing goes right.
There is a physical side to loneliness too. A side that craves the touch of another. It could be as simple as holding someone else’s hand or as intimate as sex. It’s revealing the things you can’t find the words for through your body.
Last night I realized I wasn’t alone anymore and that I haven’t been since Linc came into my life. After my mother tried to break me I ran to him without hesitation, knowing I didn’t have to be alone anymore. I didn’t have to wallow in the pain she inflicted on me. I had someone who cared.
It was more than anyone had ever done for me and still, it wasn’t enough.
I wanted more.
I craved more.
Hence my current situation.
Buck naked, crawling on the floor in search of my panties while fighting off the onset of a panic attack.
“Where are they?” I mutter.
Lifting the sheet, I search under Linc’s bed for my panties and send a silent prayer up to God.
Please, don’t let him wake up.
It’s not that I regret running to Linc and truth be told, I wouldn’t take anything back. Not crawling into his bed. Not kissing him and certainly not, riding him like a bucking bronco. The only thing I would’ve done differently is I would’ve thought my actions through.
I would’ve considered the consequences. Which is crazy because I’m more of a do first, think later kind of girl. However, I can’t help but wonder if taking things as far as we did was a mistake. I mean, what if he regrets it? What if he decides it was all a mistake and we need to keep our distance from one another? Guys are fucking weird like that. A little dry hump here and there and they think a girl is looking for a ring and a white picket fence.
I just want us.
I want my best friend.
I want to play cards, ride Harleys and get tattoos.
Eat tacos and forget all the broken parts of our lives.
“What are you doing?” he questions. I never experienced Linc first thing in the morning. I loved the sound of his voice when he sang last night but, there weren’t words adequate to describe the husky version. Full of sleep and suggestion, it was my undoing.
Swallowing, I drop the sheet and poke my head over the side of the bed. Lazily he rolls onto his side and lifts an eyebrow.
“You’re up,” I point out.
“Yeah, I am,” he replies. Clearing his throat, he lowers his hand and adjusts the obvious bulge hiding under the sheets. My mind wanders back to last night and how he sauntered out of the bathroom completely nude. Of course, my eyes went to his dick, and he immediately scolded me, ordering me to go to sleep.
Maybe that was the reason behind this morning’s mild panic attack.
Me sleeping naked was one thing, us sleeping naked and not fucking our brains out—a totally different ballgame.
“I see that,” I croak, diverting my eyes back to the floor. “Do you know where my clothes are?”
“Pinky,” he starts.
“They’re not under the bed.”
“Kelly,” he tries again.
“Forget it, I just need my t-shirt. Any idea where that is?”
“You’re freaking out.”
Freezing in my tracks, I turn my attention to him and my guard goes up.
“I am not.”
“Prove it.”
“I need to get to my room before someone finds me in here,” I argue. “And, my panties seem to have gone AWOL.”
“Such a tragedy,” he mocks. Sitting up, the sheet falls to his waist. Threading his fingers through his hair, he fights a grin. “No one is coming in here,” he says. “The door is locked.”
“Right, but we can’t stay locked in here forever and the longer I wait to make the walk of shame the more likely the chance someone will be awake and catch me. The last thing I need is for my mother to find me walking out of your room with a t-shirt on and nothing else.”
“Might put a wedge in her plans for you,” he bites back. Sighing, he cups the back of his neck and peers back at me. “Fuck it,” he says. “Fuck what everyone thinks. Fuck the consequences.”
Standing tall in all my naked glory, I blow the pink strands from my face and raise an eyebrow.
“Now who’s looking for trouble?”
Pointing a finger between us, he ignores my question.
“What happened between us last night, does that change anything?”
Confused by the question and unsure how I want to answer, I draw my lower lip between my teeth. On one hand, it changes everything. We might not have gone all the way but, I think what we did was just as intimate. I mean, it’s not every day I take off my clothes, dry fuck someone and cuddle with them all night. For fucks sake, we both know how the other looks when they come. How can that not change things? How can I look at him and not think how good he looks naked or how he feels hard between my legs?
On the other hand, it doesn’t change anything. He’s still Linc and I’m still Kelly. We’re still those two people who were thrown together and found comfort in one another. He will always be the guy I want to tell my secrets too and the one I want to annoy any chance I get. The guy I run to at the end of the day. He’s the guy who loves to play cards and I’m the girl who loves to kick his ass at whatever game we’re playing.
Now, I don’t have to wonder how it feels to be kissed by him or guess how big his dick is anymore.
FYI…its huge.
“We’re friends, Kel, who just happen to get naked and fuck around,” he says with a shrug. “We already meet our other needs, why not add sex to the list?”
“You make it sound so simple,” I mutter. “Like we get naked and fuck around all the time.”
“Sounds like a good plan, no?” he teases.
“What if someone finds out?”
“I got news for you, I’m pretty sure they all think it already but, if it’s such a concern we’ll keep it on the down low.”
I laugh.
“Our dirty little secret,” I reply.
“Mmmm,” he murmurs. “Now, why don’t you get over here and let me dirty you up.”
Licking my lips, I climb onto the bed. Warning bells sound somewhere in the distance and I rebelliously ignore them.
You’re going to get burned.
You’re going to lose him.
You’re going to lose yourself.
Ignoring the voice in my head, I crawl toward him recklessly throwing caution to the wind and my heart into a ring of fire.
“How dirty are we talking?” I ask as I throw my leg over him and sit on his lap. Grabbing my hips, he lays back against the bed and pulls me further up his body. My pussy drags up the length of his torso and the dusting of hair covering his abdomen brushes against me.
“Come sit on my face and find out,” he growls.
At the suggestion, my body tenses and I withdraw. I’m no prude and all for a good orgasm but, I’ve never had a guy go down on me before. Searching my eyes, his grip tightens. Pulling me closer, he inches lower and before I can object, he has me straddling his face.
Eyes on mine, he slides his fingers between my folds.
“Never had a guy eat you?” He murmurs the question as he presses against my clit. I jerk my head and a primal noise escapes the back of his throat. His finger leaves my clit and feeling the loss, I groan. Closing my eyes, his hands move to my inner thighs. He pushes them apart, spreading me wide. Losing my balance, I drop onto his face. My pussy meets his open mouth and my eyes jolt open as he dives in. His cool tongue takes a slow lap, licking me from ass to clit.
“Oh my God,” I cry.
Nothing I’ve ever felt feels as good as his mouth and as his teeth graze me, I know nothing ever will.
He’s relentless and every stroke of his tongue is hungrier than the last. My body pulses in places I didn’t know existed and before I realize it, I’m riding his mouth like I rode his cock. With no headboard attached to his bed, I brace my hands against the wall and let my hips move to the rhythm of his tongue.
Lapping.
Sucking.
Slurping.
Bending my head, I watch him devour me. The cold metal of his pierced chin nestles against my clit and I lose it. My hands slide down the wall, grabbing the sides of his head. Holding him in place as I buck my hips and rub my pussy all over his skillful mouth.
“I’m coming,” I pant.
“So fucking good,” he grunts between licks. He completely throws me by sliding two thick fingers inside. Knees buckling, I bite my lip not to scream. Pressing his tongue flat against my clit, he curls his fingers and I feel myself clench around him. Still holding the sides of his head, I balance myself as he slowly slides his fingers from me. Collapsing over him, he grabs my hips and slides me down so my swollen pussy beats against his chest.
“Do you have any idea how bad I want to fuck you?”
Unable to breathe much less speak, I peer back at him. He pushes the sweaty strands of hair away from my face and grabs me by the back of my neck. Lowering my face until his lips touch mine.
“Open your mouth,” he growls against my lips. “Taste yourself.”
Prude or no prude, I didn’t know how powerful dirty talk could be or how wet it made me. Linc could whisper all the dirty thoughts in the world and I’d spread my legs, eager to take every filthy promise.
Parting my lips, I slide my tongue over his and my own flavor arouses me all over again. Any inhibition I may have woke up with flees and all I can think of is how full I’ll feel when he drives his cock into me.
“Do it,” I dare over his mouth. “Fuck me.”
The plea barely has time to settle between us before he’s rolling me over and positioning himself over me. His big hands move between my legs, spreading me wide as his cock presses against me. Lifting his molten gaze to mine, his brown eyes flicker with carnal need. He licks his lips and draws his brows together, issuing me a warning.
“I can’t promise I won’t break you,” he rasps gruffly.
Funny, I can promise you will.