Age: 21
Rolling out the tarp, I brace both hands on my knees and draw in a deep breath. Staring at the bloody body in front of me, I prepare myself for what comes next and reach into my back pocket, pulling out a pair of rusty pliers.
“Let’s go,” Sin calls. “At this rate, it’ll be morning before you bitches are finished.”
Ignoring him, my eyes slice to the left of me where Shady stands in a hollow grave slinging a shovel full of dirt over his shoulder.
Taking a knee next to the dearly departed bastard, I force his mouth open and wedge the pliers between his teeth, pulling them out one by one. Untraceable by his filthy mug and unidentifiable by his missing teeth, I start to roll the tarp over him as Shady climbs out of the hole.
“You ready?” I ask him.
“I got his feet,” he replies. Tossing the shovel aside, he walks around the length of the body. Grabbing his head, I wait for him to lift his end and we haul the corpse to the grave. Dropping him into the hole, we step back and cover our faces as the earth heaves up and dirt sprays everywhere. Sin steps forward, holding out his palm for me and I reach into my cut, removing the Ziploc bag of teeth. Slapping them in his hand, I reach for the other shovel.
“I’ll see you back at the clubhouse,” he calls, starting for his bike. I give him a curt nod as a response before going back to work.
As I fill the hole, I can’t help but reflect on how I got to this precise moment. The days I spent prospecting never could have prepared me for the crimes I’ve committed since gaining my patch. I don’t know if I was too jaded by the idea of following in my father’s footsteps to see the bloodshed or if that year was the calm before the storm. It seems like all hell broke loose after my patch party. The days of hanging around the clubhouse with Kelly became a memory as I was pulled deeper into the flames of Hell.
It made me think more about my old man and if I was becoming just like him. Did he kill with no remorse and live with no regard and is that what he would want for me? Three years had passed since Wolf brought me to the clubhouse and I was just as clueless about my father as I was the day I arrived. All I wanted was for someone to assure me I was doing the right thing. A sign from above telling me I was on the right path. Neither ever came, and it was becoming harder to look myself in the mirror and not believe I was just as twisted as the man who killed Savannah.
My only saving grace was knowing after every ride and every kill, I went home to Kelly. She washed away my sins and restored my faith in what was right. There was still good in the world, still, beauty to be found and it was right there, shining in the eyes of the girl with bright pink hair. The only time I didn’t feel like a monster was when I was with her. When I wasn’t riding, I was killing and when I wasn’t doing either of those things, I was cleansing my soul fucking Kelly.
I still hadn’t officially claimed her to my brothers but, everyone knew she was mine. More importantly, she knew she belonged to me and that was all that mattered. I knew there were politics surrounding a man and his old lady but where there is law and order there is also respect.
Or at least I thought there was.
Lighting a cigarette, Shady leans against his bike.
“C’mon, I want to get out of here,” I tell him as I throw my leg over my Harley.
“Always in a hurry to get home,” he comments, blowing out a ring of smoke. “One might think you got a piece of ass waiting for you. A warm body to curl into. A tight pussy to hug your cock.”
Clenching my jaw, I glare at him.
“Don’t go there,” I warn gripping the handlebars on my bike.
“Why not?” he asks, shrugging his shoulders. “Tell me, does she taste as good as she looks?”
The exhaustion flees me as I dismount and charge for him. Grabbing his vest, I pull him toward me.
“She’s off limits to you,” I growl. “That means you don’t look at her, talk to her or fucking think about her. Keep her name off your tongue or you’ll find yourself in a grave just like the one you dug.”
Shoving me backward, he pries my fingers from the leather and steps to me.
“Watch who you’re fucking talking to, motherfucker,” he roars. “One more outburst like that and I’ll tie you up and make you watch while I bend her over.”
“Fuck you,” I hiss.
“Girl is legal now,” he sneers. “Legal, and fair fucking play.”
“You know damn well that Kelly is with me,” I sneer.
“Slipping into your bed every night don’t make her yours in the eyes of the club, it makes her your glorified whore.”
The blood boils in my veins as my fist collides with his jaw and though his lip splits open, it does nothing to quell my anger. Not that it should, seeing as I am the cause of my own rage. All Shady did was tell the truth. Without claiming Kelly to my club, she technically is free play. Should another brother decide to take her and make her his, there ain’t much I can do about it other than beat the fuck out of everyone—which I don’t have a right to do either.
The shitty thing is, I know Kelly deserves more and I don’t mean a brand. She deserves a man whose love won’t hurt her. A man who can keep her safe and give her a good life. Someone who can take her away from the shit she’s had to suffer through. A man who puts her first and foremost.
Not a man who got the first girl he ever cared for killed.
Having Savannah’s blood on my hands is not something I’ve forgotten. It’s stayed at the forefront of my mind and is the sole reason I won’t make things official with Kelly.
Back then, I was a kid fucking around on the streets of Nashville. A kid who would do anything to make a buck just to feed his girl. My biggest crime was trusting the wrong man. As a result, Savannah died. Now, I’m not that kid anymore. I’m a man who lies, cheats and kills for a living. I’m a man with enemies near and far, some of which I’ve never met. My life is dangerous and every day I slip that cut onto my shoulders is another day served on borrowed time.
Still, I love her.
It wasn’t something I expected to feel again and something I knew I didn’t deserve but, I fucking love Kelly more than I thought possible. I won’t compare what I feel for her to what I felt for Savannah because it’s a different kind of love. We don’t love the same in our twenties as we loved in our teens and I’m sure ten years from now, if I’m still around, the love I feel for her will change then too. It will evolve. We’ll experience new things together, we’ll be tried and tested by the trials and tribulations of life and the love I have for her will be more than I imagined it ever could be.
Solid.
Everlasting.
A love that knows no bounds.
The kind of love men like me die trying to honor.
“You know I’m right,” he says. Spitting blood, he glares at me. “Cut her loose or make a move, man because you’re cheapening whatever it is you got with her.”
Swallowing, I turn back to my bike.
“Stay away from her,” I warn, straddling my seat. Fitting my helmet onto my head, I rev my engine and throw up my kickstand. Kicking up dirt, my tires peel away from the scene of the crime and I leave Shady in my dust. The wind carries his words as I make my way back to the girl who waits for me in my bed. They haunt me as I enter the quiet clubhouse and they keep me company as I pour two shots of whiskey.
One for me and one for my father.
His remains untouched as I knock mine back and pour myself another.
I feel her before I hear her.
My favorite kind of trouble.
“Linc?” she whispers, causing me to turn my head.
Broken and beautiful.
Wearing a pair of shorts and one of my t-shirts, her bare feet pad across the worn linoleum.
“Hey, baby,” I rasp. Pushing the whiskey away, I swivel around as she reaches me. Reaching for her hand, I pull her between my legs and wrap my arms around her.
“You smell like gasoline,” she murmurs against my chest.
“I just got in. I didn’t have a chance to shower yet,” I reply, pulling back. Needing to look at her, I tip her chin and brush the unruly hair from her face.
“Long night,” she whispers.
I nod, tucking the strands of hair behind her ear. Leaning into her, I press my mouth against her forehead and she wraps her arms loosely around my neck. Angling her head back an inch she purses her lips and I bend my head, accepting the invitation. Our lips touch and that’s all it takes for me to temporarily forget the things I’ve seen, the crimes I’ve committed and the sins I’ve made. One kiss and I’m transcended back to where I belong.
“Mmm,” she moans softly. “I missed you.”
Sliding my hands down her arms, I take her hands and lace our fingers together.
“That’s your cue to say you missed me too,” she teases, squeezing my hands playfully.
Suddenly playing off her banter isn’t enough for me and I want more. I need more. Craving to know the things I don’t deserve, the dreams I’m not man enough to make come true.
“What do you want out of life, Pinky?”
The smile fades from her lips as she cocks her head and tries to figure the cause of our changing script.
“In five years, do you still see yourself here in this place?” I elaborate. Waiting for her response, I watch as she gnaws on her bottom lip. After a few seconds, she decides on an answer.
“I haven’t given much thought to what I’ll have for breakfast, much less where I’ll be in five years. But now that you ask the answer is pretty simple. In five years, I will be right where I am now—the only place I see myself is next to you.”
“Yeah,” I rasp. “Side by side, together we ride,” I add.
Lifting her hand, my lips brush across her knuckles and I pull her even closer.
“I think we stay here. After all, this is home for us,” she continues thoughtfully. “Maybe we get our own place though. Away from my mother but close enough where you can get your ass to church.”
Her fingers stroke the back of my neck as she smiles.
“We make a home outside these walls. A place where tacos are always on the menu,” she jokes.
“What about you?” I question, sliding my hands to her ass. “Are you on the menu?”
Her grin widens.
“Are you kidding? That’s the house special.”
Laughing, I bend my head and nuzzle her neck. A man can wish and, he can dream. He can lie and tell himself it’s in the cards but, with Satan as the dealer, there are no guarantees. But a man knows one thing for sure, he knows when he’s found his wild card.
Lifting my head, I bring my hands to her face and cradle her cheeks. Her big brown eyes shine mischievously at me and I feel my lips quirk.
“I love you, Kelly and in five years I can only hope that’s where we’ll be.”
Shock wears on her pretty face as she blinks at my admission.
“You what?”
“Oh, don’t act so shocked. It may have taken me a while to say the words but, I think I do a pretty good job expressing my love. At least I want to believe that I do,” I say dropping my hands from her face. “I may not know who I am or what I’m supposed to be but, I know I’m the guy meant to love you.”
Ain’t nothing gonna change that.
No dealer and certainly not the devil.