I take a final look around at the empty space. This was our home. The home we dreamed of building. And we did. We lived out that dream, even if it lasted less time than I imagined. Now, I’m okay with that reality. I’m ready to move on.
The house looks double the size without furnishings. I close my eyes and smile. We had a good life here, and it’s time I move forward.
“Hey.” The man I’ve opened my heart to wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek from behind. “Ready?”
I nod. “Yeah.” My voice is hoarse. Today, along with the new year, I begin a new journey.
“Everyone went to the apartment already, but if you need more time, they’ll wait,” Cole tells me. His arms tighten around my waist. I unlink his arms from around me so I can turn around and face him.
“I’m ready.” I kiss his lips. “Thank you for being here. For loving me.”
“Nah, babe. You don’t have to thank me. Loving you is effortless.”
I lean into his hug, placing my cheek on his chest and listen to his heartbeat for a moment before we leave my past and walk into our future.
Ryder, Jen, Cash, Olivia, and Jason are waiting for us when we pull into my apartment complex. The moving truck is also there. I’m grateful to have all my friends here on a day like today.
With the door unlocked, we grab the smaller things and the movers bring in the heavier items. The boxes are stacked in the spare bedroom for me to organize. Dixie is roaming the space, sniffing her new home.
Jen and Olivia offer to unpack my kitchen stuff, and they won’t take no for an answer. The guys move the furniture where I want it, placing the sofa and television stand opposite each other in the living room. This is definitely downsizing. After telling them where I want the other furniture, I join Jen and Olivia in the kitchen. We figure out the best cabinet for plates, pots and pans, and glassware. I look around. Bare walls and empty rooms are transformed into home with the help of my friends.
We move from room to room, positioning the furniture. My bed fits on the far wall with my dresser parallel to it. The master bedroom has more space than I anticipated for an apartment. It’s bigger than the room I had in my old apartment.
Overwhelmed, I look around in a daze. I have so much love in my life still. I have so many people supporting me.
Cole sees me in my room and walks in. He grabs hold of my hand and kisses the top of it.
“You feeling okay?” he asks.
“I am. A little emotional, but this feels like home already.” I lean in to kiss him.
“You make home wherever you are.”
“You’re right.”
When we finish arranging and organizing the major things, I order pizza for all of us. Cole refuses to let me pay when the delivery guy knocks on the door.
“This is my way of thanking everyone,” I argue with him.
“You won’t win this.” He hands the delivery guy the money.
I roll my eyes, carrying the boxes inside and placing them on the peninsula counter in the kitchen. Olivia passes out paper plates to everyone and Jen hands out beers.
“Thank y’all so much for your help today.” I choke up, so I take a chug of beer. “Love you all.”
We eat and talk, Jen giving me some decoration tips. The spare bedroom will be a library with all my books. I want to purchase a chair to add to that room where I can sit and read.
By the time everyone leaves, I still have things to unpack, but they’re things I can do on my own. I’ll finish that tomorrow. Right now, I want to relax and I’m glad the master bathroom has a bathtub.
Cole lazily wraps his arms around my waist, keeping distance between us. His smile is boyish and easy-going.
“Stay with me?” I ask, my voice low.
“Are you sure? I don’t—”
I shut him up with my lips. I kiss him with love and passion, every emotion I have for him spilling out of me as my tongue sweeps against his.
“I’m positive.”
“Well, if you’re going to kiss me like that…” He smirks.
“I want to take a bath.”
“Okay. I’ll shower in the other bathroom.”
I shake my head. Cole’s furrow makes me smile. I grab his hand from around me, and lead him to my bathroom. I turn on the water and plug the tub when I’m sure the water is hot. I turn around to face him, and he’s standing in the bathroom unsure of what to do.
I stay where I am and lift my tee shirt over my head.
“Bri?” My name comes out gruff from his mouth.
I don’t respond. I’m ready to give all of myself to him, and though I’m nervous and my guilt is trying to peek its way into my head, I continue to undress, removing my jeans. Cole clears his throat, his eyes stuck on me.
I walk to him in my underwear and give him a chaste kiss before removing his shirt. Mechanically, he lifts his arms.
“Are you just going to stare?” I tease.
“Fuck, baby,” he curses. “I wasn’t expecting this.” His hands land on my hips and squeeze. “You’re stunning. It’s embarrassing to admit I’ve imagined this day a million times over and nothing compared to seeing you in the flesh.”
“I love you, Cole Burkely. You own my heart. It’s yours, baby.”
Cole’s eyes flutter closed. “I love you, too. You know I’ll always take care of you.”
“I know. Join me in the bathtub.” With one more kiss, I remove my underwear and sink into the water, waiting for him.
Cole takes his time to remove his jeans and his boxer briefs before sitting behind me. His arms wrap around me as I sink into him. We sit in silence for a few beats, both of us taking in the moment. I’m not sure what he is thinking. I attempt to slow my racing heart. I’m beyond prepared to share everything about my life with this man. I think it’s normal that a part of me feels confused, but when I turn my head to look into Cole’s eyes, the confusion dissipates.
I kiss Cole’s shoulder and smile before resting my head there. His fingers draw circles on my stomach and his lips drop kisses on my neck. I sigh and scoot closer to him.
“Bri, you move any more, and my guy here is going to stab your back.”
I laugh at his expression. “No stabbing. A little poking maybe, but not my back,” I tease.
“Fuck, woman.” Cole kisses from my neck to my shoulder, giving me goose bumps. His hands run up and down my thighs, up the sides of my body and down my arms.
I moan rolling my neck more so he can continue to kiss me. “Greedy?” he mocks.
“It feels good.”
I moan again when I feel his hand slide against my pelvis and grip my hip. “Cole,” I warn.
“Yeah, babe?” His voice is laced with humor. I shake my behind into him and he tenses. “Damn it, Bri.”
I laugh and turn enough to look at him. The moment is meaningful and intimate despite my teasing. His eyes drop to my breasts, my nipples peaked above the water.
“Touch me,” I whisper.
Cole reaches for my breasts, his hands moving over them, squeezing and tugging my sensitive skin. Desire shoots through me at the feel of his calloused hands on me. My eyes flutter closed and my breathing picks up.
With my body twisted toward him, Cole continues to caress my breasts as I stable myself with one hand on his thigh and the other on the edge of the tub. His lips assault mine, his tongue moving with mine. I’m hot and getting worked up.
My hand on his thigh reaches for his length and moves up and down, wanting to please him. Cole’s groan vibrates into my mouth, but I continue to move my hand at the same pace.
When I turn completely to face him, Cole stops me before I straddle him. “We’ll finish bathing later.” He stops my hand. “A little longer and I’m going to blow in this bathtub.” He stands and grabs me, carrying me. My legs wrap around him as the water on our bodies drip a path into my room.
“Thank God you decided to make the bed,” Cole says. He lays me on the bed and removes the hair tie holding my topknot. His tongue invades my mouth again, his body leaning over mine without touching me.
When he stops his kiss abruptly, I stare at him with wide eyes.
“What happened?”
“Shit. I don’t have a condom.” He puts his forehead to mine and exhales.
I push my body up, touching his as much as possible and kiss him. I grab his face and make him look at me. “I plan to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m on birth control. I never got off it,” I explain with a shrug. “Answer me one question. Have you checked your health with your doctor?” I know Cole has a long list of history with bedmates. I’m not stupid.
“Periodically,” he responds.
“Make love to me, Cole Burkely.” I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing him down to me and kissing him hungrily.
“I love you, Bri Stephens.” The significance of him using my maiden name in a moment like this bounces off the walls. Carmichael was Josh’s to own. Cole gets all of me now, and that begins with Stephens.
We shift up the bed, Cole positioning himself over me before moving into me. I tense for a second before relaxing and allowing this moment to have its own memory—one of many to come as I share the rest of my life with this man.
The bed dips and I slowly open my eyes. The room is dark and I’m still getting used to the lack of windows in my new apartment. It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve moved in. I turn over to see Cole’s profile illuminated from the light on his phone.
“Hey.” My voice is hoarse.
“Hi. I called you to let you know we were back but you didn’t answer. I let myself in with my key.” His voice is low as he speaks.
“How did it go?” Rebel Desire had a short trip to New York City to appear on a late-night show and jumped on the plane as soon as they finished.
“Great, but I missed you. As soon as the plane landed, I decided I’d come here.”
I watch him strip down to his boxers and lie next to me. He’s been staying over some nights since I moved. It’s helped with my adjustment and to create our memories. Unpacking was less painful with his help.
“Tell me about it.” I scoot into his side and his arm wraps around my back to hold me close.
“Tomorrow. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“I’m already awake. I want to hear about it.”
He shares how it went, the short interview they had, and the song they performed. I lazily run my fingers around his chest.
“It sounds like you guys had a blast.”
“It was fun. What did you and Liv do?”
“We went out for a few drinks. Jen joined us, too. It was fun to have girl time.”
“Wendy didn’t go?”
“No, her babysitter got sick last minute.”
I’m so blessed to have the amount of friends and loved ones in my life. I may have lost Josh, but I’ve always had an abundance of love surrounding me.
I lean in and kiss Cole.
“Baby,” he groans, half in warning and half in encouragement. I giggle. “I don’t want you to be tired at work tomorrow.”
I drape my leg over his and continue to kiss his neck. I’ve learned this is his weak spot. His groan is one hundred percent turned on this time. I shiver when his hand roams down the side of my body and lands on the curve of my backside.
We get lost in our kiss, hands wandering between us, building the intimacy we share until we’re both gasping for air.
With no clothes as barrier between us, we make love.
This is our story. Our beginning when all I saw was an end. A new love when I thought I had buried all the love I carried in me. Cole is my right now and my future. I couldn’t think of anyone better to continue this journey with me.
We don’t always get the ending we want, or expect. Life is a journey, and we can’t always guarantee the outcome when it is out of our control. We can live resenting our life and resisting change, or we can accept the beauty of this journey, take with us the lessons, and flow downstream, enjoying the bumps and smooth moments. It makes our experience more exciting. We can laugh and cry, and we always remember that we go beyond the pain and loss.
This new book I began is off to a pretty great start, with a hero better than any I’ve read in my romances, and a journey that is more real than candy and flowers, but beautiful nonetheless.
I look over at his peaceful face and know that he’s the one meant to end my story with me.