Chapter 14: Drew

“Good afternoon, sir.”

“Afternoon,” I said. “Do you need to see my credentials?”

“No,” the desk attendant laughed shyly, looking at me only briefly before staring furiously at her clasped hands. “That’s all right. I know you. I mean, I recognize you. I know I don’t know you. God, you know what I mean, right?”

“I do,” I said, laughed genially, hoping to make her feel more at ease. “And there’s no need to be uncomfortable. It’s just been that kind of afternoon, hasn’t it? It’s the Seattle rain.”

“Yes sir,” she answered gratefully, finally willing to look at me again. “That must be it. Please, enjoy your time in the Lounge before your flight.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

I gave her a mock salute and a smile and continued into the Lounge of Sea-Tac Airport. I'd had one short flight already, but I wasn't done yet. I had another short one to finish out my day. It wasn't an uncommon thing for me, but what was uncommon was spending my free hours in the Lounge instead of getting out of the airport.

It could be sort of suffocating to spend all of your time sitting in an airport, living in all of that canned air. I liked to get out and do something unrelated when I had the time between flights. Today, I had the time, but I didn't have the energy. That, and I needed to think. There was a lot on my plate, a lot on my mind, and airports were a good place to think.

There wasn’t much else to do here except retreat into your own thoughts. Something about the constant, fluid motion made it easy to fall into thoughts you might otherwise seek to avoid. Avoiding certain subjects in my own head was something I had been known to do before, but it was something I could no longer afford. There was too much at stake now, and people involved aside from myself.

Jess's Fourth of July invitation had caught me off guard. When she had asked me to come meet her sister and her daughter for the first time, I had agreed with no hesitation. It was only later, when I’d had a chance to think about it, that I realized the deeper implications.

Since then, I'd been asking myself all week why I hadn't told her I needed to think about it. The conclusion I'd come to was that I got caught up in the moment. It happened to plenty of people, but I had never been the kind of man to allow something like that. But in that moment, I had been entirely taken up in her. I still was, and it had made me want to say yes to anything she asked of me.

It was what every man wanted to give the woman he was with. Nothing made you feel more like a badass than the ability to give your woman anything she asked for. But now? Now the reality of what I had agreed to had settled in, and I was starting to feel uncertain.

The two of us had been dating for almost no time at all. Arguably, it was much too soon to be meeting her ten-year-old daughter. Not to mention the sister, for fuck's sake. I had a feeling the sister would be that over the top, insanely protective kind of girl who would threaten to rip my balls off if I didn't do right by her sister.

Meeting the family was going to make things a hell of a lot more complicated, and I wasn't sure I was up for that, even for a girl like Jess.

A nearby conversation caught my attention. Two pilots had just sat at the table next to me.

“It’s a fucking shame, right?” the bald pilot said.

“It certainly is,” his bearded friend replied. “I’ve gotta say, I never saw it coming.”

“Neither did I!” Baldy said. “I feel like kind of a jackass for not seeing it, but I didn’t. I didn’t think he was ever going to get cut loose.”

“Right?” Beardy said. “He was a nice guy, too.”

“He was. Kind of a mess lately, but still a nice guy. It’s a shame.” Baldy shook his head.

“It is. Although you have to admit, he was getting worse, right? Please tell me I’m not the only one who saw.”

“No, definitely not,” Baldy said, frowning. “He was getting worse for sure.”

My plan had been to think through the potential mess with Jess. The Lounge had been the perfect place for it because there were very few things it could offer up that would distract me. I never drank before or between flights, and I wasn't overly friendly with any of the staff coming through the doors. Very little could have deterred me from figuring out what the hell I was going to do about the July Fourth picnic, but the conversation of the two men who'd just taken the seats next to me managed it just fine. They were close enough that it wasn't strange for me to insert myself into their conversation. After clearing my throat, I dived in.

“Excuse me, guys, I’m sorry to interrupt.”

"Shit," Baldy said, laughing genially. "Don't be. We're the ones who sat down right next to you and started running our mouths. We probably sound like a bunch of chicks gossiping."

"No," I assured him, trying to sound calm so I could keep these guys feeling okay about talking to me. "You’re not bothering me. I was just wondering who you two are talking about, if you don't mind my asking. I'm wondering if I know the guy."

“You might,” Beardy replied. “He was flying all of the time up until recently.”

“Who?” I asked.

"Guy named Fred Stevens,” Baldy said. “He's been a pilot for a long time. It's fucking sad, you know?"

“And he got fired?” I asked.

Beardy nodded. "He did. He got suspended a little while back, and there was some talk that he might clean himself up, get his act together again, and get back to work. But I guess it went the other way. He was drinking a lot, you know? He was drinking pretty much all of the time."

"It got pretty fucking bad," Baldy chimed in, shaking his head glumly. "Bad enough that this can't really be a surprise to anyone. He's always liked to party, but lately, he's been hitting the bottle all the time. It only got worse after he got suspended. I flew with the guy a couple of times, and I knew what he was doing."

“Did you?” I asked, becoming genuinely annoyed for the first time since the conversation had begun. “You knew he was drinking while he was flying?”

“Sure, but that’s not the rarest thing in the world. A lot of guys do it. He just started doing it more than he could get away with. I knew that, too. I noticed it a couple of months before the suspension came. I was hoping he would just take care of it on his own before anything happened.”

“Yeah,” Beardy said mournfully, shaking his head. “I was kind of hoping the same thing. From what I heard, somebody turned him in before he got the chance. Looks like the rest of us better start watching our asses.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked, hoping I sounded more casually interested than I felt.

“Come on. We’ve all been there, right? It’s not like we haven’t all knocked a couple back before a flight. It’s just part of it.”

“Is it?” I asked.

“Comes with the territory,” Baldy said. “Only now, we’re all going to have to watch our asses, right? If there’s some guy going around turning people in for every little infraction, we’re all going to have to watch ourselves.”

“It’s not really a little infraction, though, is it?” I asked, the blood starting to pulse in my temples so hard that I could hardly see straight. “Getting drunk before, or on a flight, could kill people. It could kill a lot of people.”

“Did you ever fly with the guy?” Baldy said. “Because it kind of sounds like you know him.”

"I wouldn't say that I know him, but I flew with him once. He was the lead pilot, and he got so drunk on the plane that he almost knocked himself out when we hit some turbulence. It wasn't just a little bit of drinking. He was out of control. My guess is that if I saw it, somebody else did, too."

“Shit,” Baldy said. “Maybe he was a little worse than I thought. You’re probably right. The guy was dangerous. Still, it’s a rough fucking break.”

I listened to the two of them for a little longer before making some bullshit excuse to get up and go. The plan to hang out in the Lounge until I came to a decision about Jess was gone. All I could think about was Fred. I was glad that he wasn't able to go out there and hurt people anymore, but now, I was also wrestling with the news that he'd been let go permanently.

Maybe I should have been sorry for my role in things, but I wasn't. Not at all. On the contrary, now I was pissed off. Fred had all the time in the world to go and get some help, and he'd done nothing. That was the kind of person I would never in my life understand.