Chapter 19: Drew

Out of all the things I imagined I would find myself doing, searching for an almost eleven-year-old girl's birthday party wasn't one of them. It had been a month since Jess and I had fought in the remote LA park, and everything had only gotten better since then.

All chances of me lying to myself and saying it was just about sex were long gone. Jess had told me she was falling in love with me that night, and whether I liked it or not, I was falling in love with her, too.

The realization had been terrifying, but after it had come an odd sort of calm. That calm had made everything else easier, including my relationship with Emma. A week ago, she had given me a hand-drawn invitation to her family members’ only birthday bash. Family members’ only, as in, I was the only one not blood-related who was invited.

It probably should have scared the shit out of me, but after Jess and my LA thing, it didn't. Instead, it made me feel like a fucking superhero. So here I was, wandering around a shopping mall on a busy Sunday afternoon. The only problem was that I didn't have a clue what I was supposed to get her. It was the reason I gave myself for wandering into the fancy looking jewelry store in the middle of the mall's fanciest store. Almost immediately, an overly chipper saleswoman approached me. She wore a massive, intimidating smile on her face, and I almost turned around and left right there, except that I couldn't. Something told me I needed to stay. Something told me this was the place I needed to be.

“Well, hello there, sir!”

“Hello.”

“What might I be able to do for you on this fine Seattle afternoon?”

“I’m not sure, actually.”

"Oh, don't worry about that," she said, laughing smoothly as if I were nothing she hadn't encountered before. "If I had a nickel for every time a man walked in here and said something like that, well, let's just say I wouldn't be working here anymore."

“Right,” I laughed, still uncomfortable but beginning to feel marginally better. “I would imagine.”

“Why don’t we start with you telling me what brought you here? Whatever it is, I’m sure I can help you find what you need.”

“I’m looking for a birthday gift for my girlfriend’s daughter.”

“Perfect! And how old is the daughter?”

“She’ll be turning eleven.”

“Oh, and she is going to love you.”

“Is she?”

“Definitely. Jewelry is perfect for girls that age. It makes them feel like they’re being taken seriously. Does she have pierced ears?”

"You know what? I'll be honest with you. I don't know. Does that make me an asshole?"

“No, it makes you a man. Let’s look at some necklaces then, just to be on the safe side. You wouldn’t want to give her something she couldn’t wear, now would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“What about doing a birthstone necklace? Something simple? Elegant? We could go with a gold chain and a little sapphire pendant. That’s the birthstone for September, in case you weren’t aware.”

“I was not. And that sounds great, only do you think she’ll like it? I mean, is it the kind of thing a girl her age will want?”

"Absolutely. Believe me, it's the sort of gift she'll cherish long after she stops being a little girl."

“All right,” I said, grinning. “I’m sold.”

“Would you like to see the necklace first?”

“Nope, not really. I won’t be able to tell anything about it. Why don’t you just go ahead and wrap it up?”

“Of course! And while I tend to that, is there anything else I can do for you? Anything else you’re interested in looking at?”

“There is, actually. Do you think you could show me some engagement rings?”

"Oh, my!" She giggled, whether at the request itself or at the shock on my face after making the request, I couldn't be sure. "This is an exciting shopping trip for you, isn't it?"

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“What kind of rings would you like to see?” she asked.

“Something simple, classic. I think that’s the kind of ring she would like.”

“Of course! That’s my favorite kind of woman. Give me just one moment. I’ll be right back with a selection for you to choose from.”

I nodded at her in response, seeing as I had spontaneously lost the ability to speak. As far as I knew, I had only come into this store to get something for Emma and leave. If that was the case, though, what in the hell was I doing looking at engagement rings? Was I planning on buying one? Was that the real reason behind me choosing a jewelry store to look for Emma's gift in the first place? There were about a million fucking questions clamoring inside of my head all at once. Out of nowhere, I started to feel more than a little bit queasy. The saleswoman must have noticed it, too, because when she returned, she took one look at me and went into repair mode.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Is the ring a surprise?” she asked.

“I should think so. I don’t think she has a clue.”

"No," she said, smiling gently and making me regret my initial judgment of her. "I'm not asking if it will be a surprise to her. I'm asking if it's a surprise to you."

“Is it that obvious?”

“A little. Plus, I’ve been doing this job for a long time. It’s normal, you know. A lot of guys get freaked out when they get ready to take this step. It’s not a bad thing, either. It shows you’re really thinking.”

“Can I ask you a question now?”

“Sure, you can. I can’t promise I’ll have an answer, but I’ll do anything I can to help.”

“My girlfriend and I. We’ve only been together for a couple of months. Is that too early? Am I crazy to even be looking at these?”

“Ha! Well, my official line is that it’s never too early.”

“And your unofficial line?” I asked.

“I’m not sure that there’s any kind of magic timing to make something like a marriage work. Love is love. I’m not sure there is any such thing as too early. It’s all about what your heart tells you.”

“My heart tells me that it’s been so long since I’ve been in love that I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it anymore. What I do know is that I think about my girlfriend all the time. I know I want her to be happy.”

“Want my advice?”

“So badly,” I said, laughing sheepishly, more out of my depth than I could ever remember being before.

“Think it over for a week or two. This trip showed you that it’s something you’re ready to consider. Now take the time to do that. Think about it for a week or two, and if you decide it’s what you want, I’ll be more than happy to help you pick out a ring.”