Chapter one
I’d given my word to give Marshall a dose of his own medicine, but now I was rethinking my situation. I thought of the way that we had left things a few days ago and I still couldn’t believe that he walked away without doing anything. I underplayed that significance with the girls. I told them that it was the other way around and that I wanted him to want me so badly that he wouldn’t be able to stand it any longer.
“I don’t know where you’re at, but you’re certainly not here with me. I’m sure that you have a lot on your plate, but don’t you think that for just this once that you can give me your undivided attention?” My best friend Jeremy was the one that gave me the insight into the male mind. I was sure that he was regretting it right about now. He was the one that helped me to learn how to navigate those choppy waters.
“I don’t know what has gotten into me. You came here looking for some advice and I haven’t even listened to what you have to say.” I wasn’t sure if I should tell him the truth, but he was the only one that I had never lied to in my life. I knew that he had a crush on me, but he really wasn’t my type. He had that intellectual look and I was looking for something more masculine with the very idea of getting them out of their clothes to be a presentation in itself.
“I thought that we were friends. I tell you that my girlfriend is seeing an ex-boyfriend that she hasn’t even thought about since high school and you don’t even say anything.” He was wearing his heart on his sleeve and I’d done nothing to encourage him or give him any kind of direction
He showed up quite unexpectedly. Seeing him with that downtrodden expression was a dead giveaway that things weren’t going exactly as planned with Stephanie. I thought that they were a mismatch. She was this gorgeous fashion runway model that flew around the globe jet setting with the rich and famous on the red carpet. He was a fairly good-looking guy, maybe 140 pounds, 5’7 and I had to admit that his eyes were the dictionary meaning of the windows to the soul.
“You know as well as I do that Stephanie can do better than you. I don’t mean that to be a slight against your manhood. I’m just saying that your jealousy has manifested into a paranoia that is going to get old quick for Stephanie. Don’t you think that she has had men fawning over her most of her life? She thought that you were different, less intimidated by her good looks and fame and here you are acting like a little bitch.” The one thing that we could count on from each other was that we would always shoot from the hip.
We were sitting in my kitchen and I was touching my lips wondering how I was going to think about the job. I had told the girls that I was going to let him stew for a few days, but that was not entirely true. I needed that time to give myself breathing room. I could barely sleep and I woke in a cold sweat with my hands running down over my body. I had visions of him dancing in front of me and fantasies so vivid that they almost felt like they were alive.
“The one thing that I don’t need you to tell me is that she can do better. I know that I’m just being stupid, but I can’t help to feel that I’m losing her. I’m just lucky that I don’t speak about this in front of her. She has already told me that it was refreshing that I was secure about myself.” He did put on a good façade, but underneath, he was still that insecure little boy that I had taken a liking to in high school.
“I implore you not to do anything that is going to ruin this. I just got you to stop sniffing around my door and I really don’t want to continue to metaphorically slap you with a newspaper like a scalded dog. It’s so much better that you are in a committed relationship.” I had my cup of coffee in both hands and I could see Marshall’s reflection in the swirl of the creamer that I had used to make it more palatable.
“I hated those days. We would go shopping and you would put on this display in frilly little things. I would pine like a lovesick teenager.” He had on his glasses making him look like Clark Kent, but there was really no superman underneath the exterior. I did notice since he had gotten with Stephanie that he was filling out.
“Stephanie won’t leave you and you have nothing to worry about. The only reason why you came over here is for me to pat you on the back and tell you that everything’s going to be OK.” I reached over and did that very thing. I could see the distaste in his eyes and it almost made me burst out laughing.
My fluffy white robe was wide open and the only thing that I was wearing was a sheer negligee that really didn’t leave much to the imagination. I was quite impressed that he wasn’t ogling me like a piece of meat. He had more on his mind than seeing me in my unmentionables. It was a bit of a slap in the face. I could always count on him to show me that my beauty had not waned and that my sexuality was still as hot as ever. It was kinda nice to have him stroking my ego, even though he was never going to get any further than watching me.
“I’m really glad that you’re here for me. I had no place to go. I couldn’t stay in that mansion all alone knowing that she was spending time with her ex-boyfriend. I made it sound like I was perfectly fine and that she didn’t have to worry about me going off half-cocked.” I needed somebody to ground me and make me realize how lucky I am.” I was slightly stunned by what I didn’t recognize upon him entering into my home. He was making an effort to be that pretty package for Stephanie. His body was becoming something that I might take an interest in.
She was that statuesque blonde with the kind of curves that had guys wanting to walk over hot coals to be with her. I knew the day that she took a shine to Jeremy that there had to be something wrong with her. It finally dawned on me that she saw him as the genuine article without being fake or trying desperately to get into her pants.
“I’m glad that you’re feeling better. You’re not the only one that has to deal with their love life. I haven’t been in this position in a long time. I don’t even want to mention his name and I promised myself that his memory would be expunged. All photographs have been destroyed and yet I find myself repeating old habits. I thought that part of me was dead, completely numb and that no man could ever break through the wall that I built.” One good turn deserved another. If he was going to cry in his beer for Stephanie, then I had every right to see how he felt about what was going on with me.
“I know that you’re only dangling the bait because you want me to take it. I’ll play along; even though I think that you’re being a bit more dramatic than necessary. Tell me what’s going on that has you in your own little world.” Since he had broached the topic, I figured that it was best to let the chips fall where they may.
“I’m not over exaggerating anything. I was hired to do a job. There is a secret that I have been hiding from you.” I turned to my laptop on the counter. I brought up the anonymous blog with the indiscriminate photos that I had taken of men in various states of undress. They did not show them in a good light unless you were looking for a cheap thrill at their expense. The captions were quite scalding. “I write this blog and my reputation for shaming men have got me in over my head.”
Jeremy was staring at the screen, pushing his glasses down, so that he could make out every single disgusting act that was being perpetrated. His eyes darted from me and then back to the screen again like he couldn’t quite believe that I was the woman responsible for destroying marriages.
“I don’t even want to begin to tell you how wrong this is. Butting into other people’s business will never end well. With that being said, I can see that something is bothering you and I would really like you to tell me what it is.” He was the most compassionate and caring man that I had ever met. I thought that he was above reproach and yet I knew that he was still a man and capable of being seduced by the opposite sex.
“I usually go after those that are married or involved, but this one is different. He’s none of those things, but he sleeps with just about anybody. He doesn’t care if they are married, but now I have been tasked to make him fall in love with me. Unfortunately, it backfired and I have feelings for him. I thought that I could overcome that obstacle by sleeping with him, but he…he…denied me.” Jeremy’s mouth was wide open in shock.
“You have to stop seeing this man. I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know yourself. He has turned you into the very woman that you swore that you would never be again. I can only give you sound advice and it’s up to you to take it. I know that this is short and sweet, but I really do need to get to work. My boss is on a tirade and even though I do most of the work, he expects me to bend over backward to please him and the board of directors. Do yourself a favor, get some distance, find some perspective and give this man his walking papers. You’ve already said that you don’t do this for the money, so what exactly is stopping you from kicking him to the curb?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer and grabbed his brown suede coat. He put it on and went to the door.
I didn’t like the way that he spoke to me harshly and that only made me want him to sweat a little. I purposely bent over at the sink, my breasts announcing their presence and then I had what most would call a wardrobe malfunction.
His eyes bugged out of his skull as my breasts popped clear of the negligee. He turned and left almost tripping over his own feet and tongue. It made me smile to think that I still had that power to make a man feel like a little boy all over again.
Chapter two
I figured that I would take some of what Jeremy said and take it to heart. I did need to break free of the monotony of thinking about him every second of the day. He hadn’t tried to call me and I was not going to be the one to reach out first. I took myself shopping, doing some window browsing and seeing some interesting things that caught my eye.
I stopped on the sidewalk for a moment. I felt like somebody was watching me. I took off my sunglasses very slowly and turned quickly to catch who it was that was playing spy. I didn’t see anybody that was making a spectacle of themselves or standing out from the crowd. It really did feel like somebody was walking over my grave and the little hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end.
I started to use some of the training that I had gotten the courtesy of an online course in private investigation. For something that only cost me a few hundred dollars, it was entertaining and had a lot of good techniques to use in the field. The one that I had instituted was using the reflection of the glass of the shops to see if anything caught my attention.
I stood in front of this lingerie shop that I knew too well. I admired the mannequins and how delectable they looked in various pieces that would have most men standing at attention. I thought that I saw someone duck down an alleyway. I was letting my imagination run wild and it was getting the best of me. I was jittery and feeling like the only thing that was going to make me feel better was to give Marshall my body on a silver platter. I’d tried that already and he was purposely keeping me at arm’s length.
I went into the shop, fingered the merchandise and found myself gravitating to the dressing room with a few pieces that was going to make me feel like a supermodel in front of the mirror.
“It’s been a long time since you’ve come to see me. I was beginning to think that you forgot about me. Those pieces that you have are from a very private collection. They are one of a kind. I’m just saying that I’m giving you first right to buy them. You have the kind of body that would be perfect. Any guy in their right mind would feel weak at the knees. If you want to make an interesting impression and have them at your mercy, then I would go with the red one.” Tonya was the proprietor and she really did have a good eye for detail.
“I don’t know if I’m in the mood to buy, but I’m a sucker for something that makes me feel sexy. Every girl needs to feel like this. Give me a few minutes.” I saw her high heeled shoes underneath the door. I took off my clothes, stood naked and looked at myself from every angle to see any imperfections that I would have to work on. I had a bit more hip than most girls, but I saw no man pushing me out of bed because of it.
“Take all the time that you need, Gillian. You are one of my best customers. Don’t think for a second that I don’t know that you have been talking me up to the neighborhood. I’ve had some interesting customers as of late. They come in looking so shy, but they leave knowing that their husbands or significant other are going to rise to the occasion. I like giving women that empowerment and I think that is the main reason why I decided to open up the shop. I want to cater to women that want to feel sexy and know quality when they see it. I’ll be out front and I see that a few customers have come in. By all means, take your time and when you’re ready I’ll be more than happy to take your money.” I had several different play outfits, but I knew that I could never have enough.
I had on this black mesh teddy that would’ve made it so easy for Marshall to rip it off my nubile body with just his fingers. The mirror in the dressing room was biased and I needed to see myself without being tricked by the light or how the mirror perceived me. I could see my nipples as plain as day and the mesh was perfect for that teasing gesture, but also quite blatant in its simplicity.
I opened up the door and I came face to face with the man that had caused me all of this angst. Marshall was slapping his forehead. He was looking at me and then turning away. What I was wearing was making it difficult for him to contain his excitement.
“I hope to god that you haven’t been following me. I know that we haven’t seen each other in a few days, but that doesn’t mean that you can go around stalking me.” I remembered the way that I felt out on the street and now seeing him here seemed like a huge coincidence. I didn’t believe in coincidences.
“I’m not stalking you. I just happened to be in the area and I saw you go in here. I was going to wait for you to come out, but I need to get to a meeting in 20 minutes.” I did nothing to cover up and he was doing everything that he could not to stare directly into the sun. I had a feeling that he probably thought that he was going to burn alive if he were to give me any kind of attention.
“I thought that you made yourself very clear the other night. You don’t want me. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? I was throwing myself at you and you did nothing. I was contemplating getting elective cosmetic surgery.” It was a fleeting thought about using collagen in my lips and eyebrows to give me a more youthful look.
“I can’t believe that you would be so dense to think that I didn’t want you. It’s precisely the reason why I had to keep you away. I feel like there’s no escape from reality. I see you everywhere I go and even had an awkward moment with a girl that I pursued down the street only to realize that it wasn’t you. I’m lucky that she didn’t take any offense and call the authorities on me.” He still looked damn good and I had to do something to give myself that fighting edge. The only thing that I could think about was grabbing him by the hand, seeing that stunned look on his face and dragging him into the enclosure of the dressing room.
I closed it behind him, letting him smell the fragrance of my Chanel perfume. He was my captive audience. I could see that he was thinking that I was a sexual carnivore about to devour him whole.
“This is highly inappropriate, Gillian. I have a public image that I need to keep. If anybody were to get wind of what I’m doing here, then I might lose some lucrative contracts worth millions. Some of those companies are family friendly.” He had his hands to his side and most likely feeling like he didn’t know what to do with them without getting into trouble. He had no earthly idea about how far I was willing to go.
He tried to reach for the lock, but I used my high heel to stop him. My long and supple leg was now stretching the material of the mesh and giving him something more to look at than he bargained for.
“I have been aching for you ever since that night. I hunger for the taste of your lips and for the feel of your body pressed up against me. Nothing even matters anymore. The only thing that I can think about is that moment where you hover above me. To see you riding the wave of your own desire and letting the mattress take the blunt end of our bodies slamming up and down on top of it. You can’t tell me that what you see doesn’t give you ideas. Don’t you want to take a chance and be with a woman that knows you inside and out?” My high heeled shoe was against his hand and I ran my fingers lightly down that starched white shirt.
“This is not what I came in here for. I just wanted to apologize for the way that I acted. It felt like my chest was tightening and I thought for a moment that I was having some sort of attack.” His words were rushed and I could tell that his lip was quivering. My fingers were dancing along his body through his clothing.
“I find that it’s a very interesting predicament that we’re here together at this time. I know the owner personally. She wouldn’t even give us a raised eyebrow if we were to do something. I know that you can feel the temperature in this room rise dramatically.” I pulled on his power red tie and made him lean forward despite his misgivings.
I was only about an inch away from kissing him and I could tell that he wanted it in the worst way possible. Instead, I stuck out my pink tongue and licked the outer edge of his top lip. I could taste him and I could see down below his waist that something else had awakened.
“I can’t do this. It’s too much and I’ve never met anybody quite like you.” I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or an insult. He leaned back against the door, his hands plastered up against it with his eyes closed and thinking that this was going to be enough to deter me from touching him. Seeing him vulnerable and quite tense made me linger a little bit longer with my hands suddenly cupping his manhood.
“This is something that you want and it’s something that you need. It burns in you that you didn’t do something that night. You probably slept in your bed, looking over at that empty cold spot and knowing that I could’ve warmed up your nights.” His eyes were wide open, staring straight ahead and not moving to the caress of my fingers down the length of him through his pants.
“Oh, god…it was a mistake for me to come in here. I was only playing with fire and you are the kind of girl that doesn’t know the meaning of the word no.” He thought that he was the one that was falling, but I felt that fire brighter and hotter than before.
I dropped to my knees, looking up into his eyes and begging him without saying a word to give me what I wanted. I reached out for the object of my affection. I got his hand up against my forehead.
In a knee-jerk reaction, I scratched his hand to give him the proper incentives to let me bask in the stick of dynamite between his legs. I wanted to let him know that I wasn’t going to let him stop me.
“Don’t even think about leaving if you know what’s good for you. You are at a crossroads and what you do right now is going to change everything. Do you take a chance, or do you throw away what could possibly be the best thing in your life?” He panicked, pushed me back a little harder than he was intending and made me land heavily on the cushion of my ass. I hated myself for liking the dominant side of his personality.
“I can’t do this right now. You won’t listen to reason and I’m this close to doing something.” He flipped open the latch on the door and ran away like his pants were on fire. He kept looking back at me. He stumbled and crashed into a display of women’s panties. They went everywhere. He stood there with hangers clinging to his clothes and even a pair landing on his head.
Tonya came rushing over to give her assistance. “That must be embarrassing. You must not have been watching where you were going.” She tried to take those panties off of him gently, but he went into hysterics and shook himself free of the garments that were making things worse for him down below the belt.
“Leave me alone. Why won’t everybody just leave me alone? I can’t stand it and being here is making a part of me feel like it has a mind of its own. I have to get out.” I stood there with my arms crossed, as he went out that door and sprinted down the sidewalk before flagging down a nearby taxi.
Tonya turned towards me with your eyes glued to the very item that I was wearing. I don’t know what got into him, but I think you do. Do you have something to tell me?” The only thing that she got for a response was a shrug off my shoulders. I did buy that outfit, especially after seeing his reaction from me wearing it. I had to have it as a reminder of seeing him lose what was left of his mind.
Chapter three
“It’s been two weeks and I have to say that I’m quite happy with the progress that you’re making. There have been some developments that you should be aware of. I had no choice and Julia was becoming a problem.” The way Lillian had said that gave me the impression that she was some kind of mob princess and had decided to make her sleep with the fishes.
We had met at this country club and it was not a place that I was unaware of. I’d been there a few times doing my due diligence and learning about my subjects down to what their handicap on the green was.
“Are you sure that I need to know this. There’s something to say for plausible deniability. It might be best that you treat me like the president of United States. What I don’t know is something that I won’t be able to talk about. Be sure that you really want to say what is on your mind and I might be required to testify against you later in court.” She was dressed impeccably in an original brand name dress with the necessary accessories to give her the look of high society.
The blue fabric hugged her form nicely. The blood red heart ruby around her neck and the gold chain attached to it was the real deal.
“I’m sure that you’re right and that it would be best that I keep this to myself. I just can’t do that and I’m going to depend on your discretion. There’s no way that I can talk to the Tina about this and you already know that my husband is in the dark. I would really like to keep him that way. As for Julia, she will not be causing us any more headaches. I had a couple of guys pick her up and she’s being detained in a facility. I had her committed and you’d be surprised at what money can buy these days. She’ll be there for the next two weeks and I have been assured that she’s in no shape to try to escape.” I couldn’t believe that she had gone that far, but something told me that she was capable of a whole lot more.
“If you did that to Julia, then I have to wonder why you didn’t just use your considerable influence against Marshall. It’s obvious to me that you could have had him ‘taken’ care of. I don’t mean to be blunt, but you are one scary woman.” She smiled like that was the best possible outcome of this meeting. It was as if she was happy to hear that she still had that edge and could wield it with authority.
It was a Sunday morning and we were having brunch with eggs benedict and a delicious Mimosa. I drank mine after hearing her confession hoping that it would dull my senses.
“I like to think that I have my hand in just about everything. I lost a step when I got involved with Marshall. He made me feel worthless and not even my husband has been able to do that the entire time that we have been married these past five years. You were hired because I saw a little bit of me in you.” I was wearing a red leather skirt and a black blouse with just the hint of a cleavage. I could tell that the waiter would have gladly given his left nut to be with either one of us. He was spilling the water, not able to take his eyes off the beauties that presented themselves in front of his eyes.
“Joseph, you know that if you’re not careful that you will have to be punished.” I saw him cringe to Lillian’s comment, but I think I saw a glint of anticipation in his eyes to go along with it. “Try and do your job and bring us a couple of more waters that you spilled.” There was definitely something between them and I wondered what this punishment would entail. I almost envisioned him bending over her car and her slapping him repeatedly until his ass cheeks were as red as the color of my leather skirt.
He was young and impressionable. I could see how he could easily get caught up with an older woman with more experience. She had given me the impression that stepping out on her husband was not a common occurrence. The light bulb finally went off over my head. It wasn’t that she hadn’t cheated on her husband before. It was the way that Marshall made her feel. She was the one that was always in control and Marshall had changed that by giving her a reason to think that they had something more than what she had with other young men.
“I can see that I have you all wrong. You claim to be innocent, but I don’t think that you are even close to that. Marshall really did get to you and that’s the reason why you want to hurt him.” I took a bite of the eggs benedict with the hollandaise sauce and it was the best that I had ever had.
“It shouldn’t matter my reasons for doing this. It should only matter that the check clears for your payment. I don’t just want him humiliated. I want to ruin him. You have his head up in the clouds that he doesn’t even recognize his downfall. I’ve been there to circumvent several of his contracts. I just had to hint at his mental instability and I let you do the rest. He’s not acting like himself. He usually knows how to avoid those pitfalls, but he can’t think of anything but you. This is working out better than I could ever imagine.” She was an evil genius. She was the puppet master that knew which strings to pull to make her subjects dance for her amusement.
“I underestimated you. I thought that you were broken, but I see how wrong I was. You were just waiting patiently to strike and you used me to break his will. Like you said, he hasn’t been in his own right mind and doesn’t recognize a hostile takeover when he should see it coming from miles away.” I’d found out that Marshall liked to play fast and loose with business deals.
“What I do is of no concern to you. These next two weeks are very critical. I don’t care what you have to do, but you need to keep his mind occupied. Sleep with him or don’t and that’s entirely up to you. I just don’t want him to see it coming. I’ve already placed all the players on the board. It’s just a matter of sitting back and watching it play out. The only thing that is a bit of a wrinkle is if he is able to stop it before it happens. I’ve said too much and you really don’t need to know any of this. I thought that it was time for you to understand who you are dealing with. Cross me and he won’t be the one that I ruin. You can either take that as a threat or a promise. I really don’t care. If you would excuse me, I have some people that I want to discuss a few things with. Finish up your meal and then leave.” She had only brought me here to rub it in my nose and then to cause a chill to go down my spine with the tone of her voice.
“I don’t even want to think about what you would do to me for failure. Learning about who you are certainly puts a new fire underneath me to get this done as quickly as possible. I need to get you out of my life.” She really was a piece of work. That girl was a master of manipulation. She had me fooled and that was not an easy thing to do. I prided myself on knowing how to read people and she had pulled the wool over my eyes. I was blind. I could certainly see the writing on the wall after she had let me see who she really was.
I’d lost my appetite. It was a good thing that she had refrained from mentioning this until I was almost done. I felt a little sick to my stomach that I had gotten involved with any of this. I was in way too deep and going against her was like throwing chum into the water to attract the sharks.
I got up after drinking the last of my champagne and orange juice. I looked back to see that she was laughing like she didn’t have a care in the world. She was surrounded by a bunch of snobby friends that she would have gladly stabbed in the back. My head was swimming. I took one more glance to understand that I had been used in a campaign to take everything away from Marshall.
I went downstairs, feeling that anger welling up inside me and knowing that there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. If I told Marshall about any of this, she would come after me. I wasn’t sure what her idea of revenge against me would be. I did know that it would be detrimental to my health. If I were to go through with this, then I would be taking what I felt for him and turning it into something ugly. I really didn’t have anybody to turn to. The only other person that knew about this was Tina.
I got into my car. I found myself spinning my tires and sending up a cloud of black smoke behind me. I needed to find some way to vent and the only thing that came to mind was ripping off Marshall’s clothing and showing him that he wasn’t the only one that could use his considerable charm to get what he wanted.
I knew where he was at all times courtesy of hacking his phone and making it into a GPS. I tapped into that with one eye on the road and one eye on the phone. It was a little dangerous and I’m sure that was how accidents happen all the time. I saw that he was home and he was about to get a rude awakening. When I became like this, I could be a force that nobody could withstand. I had lost count of how many times I would be lying there afterward and the guy would be left speechless with my claw marks all over his body.
Chapter four
The only thing that I could think about was Marshall. I was driving at a dangerous speed; barely missing pedestrians and having them raise their fists in anger. It didn’t matter. The only thing that I wanted was Marshall naked and at the mercy of my insidious and naughty ways.
I had what most people would call tunnel vision. I got that way when my anger was too much for me to handle. The feeling of being used grew like bile in my throat. I would’ve loved to get into a knockdown kind of fight with Lillian. It would’ve been so satisfying to wipe that smug look off of her face once and for all.
I didn’t even realize that I had my hand up underneath my red leather skirt or that I had my panties to the side. I was priming myself for the big event.
It didn’t hurt that the vibration from the engine underneath me was doing some of the work. That anger was now turning into a desire that had gone off the charts. I would be there within a couple of minutes barring any complications like a police officer pulling me over for driving recklessly and endangering others.
My finger traced those slick lips down to where the sucking maw of my sex was waiting to take me knuckle deep. I hung precariously on the edge of an orgasm that would have blurred my vision and possibly caused a four-car pileup. I leaned on the brakes, skidding to a stop and coming within 1-inch of the bumper of the car in front of me.
There was little girl staring at me and not even her innocence was going to quell the hunger deep in my heart.
The light turned green. My car lurched forward and caused my finger to drive into me all the way until my whole body was gyrating in the seat. It wasn’t enough to take me all the way there, but it certainly did keep me motivated for attacking Marshall in his own home.
That finger moved back and forth steadily and I was close to pressing my thumb on my little friend, but I saw that my destination was coming up in front of me. His car was sitting there. I parked behind him and got out on shaky legs. A bit of my love juice slid down the inside of my thigh and I had to wipe it away before it would be noticed.
I unbuttoned my blouse, showing off more than a hint of cleavage and knowing that this was going to happen. I walked with determination across the street, not even bothering to look both ways and almost willing anybody that was driving by to run me down like road kill on the side of the road. It was the only way that I was going to be stopped.
I climbed the stairs, not even bothering to knock and finding the door unlocked. I walked right in. I saw him standing there by the stairs. I threw one leg around his waist and planted my lips on his before he could even get a word in edgewise.
I slithered my tongue into his mouth, grinding up against him and seeing the way that he was looking past me. I looked at him and I saw the awkward expression like I had interrupted something.
“Does somebody want to tell me what’s going on here?” I heard the feminine voice with authority behind it and I remembered how he had mentioned that his mother was coming over for dinner the other night. I had left my mark with my lipstick making him look like he had been attacked by a zealous fan at a concert that had gotten out of hand.
“Um, Marilyn…I mean Gillian, I would like you to meet my mother…Marilyn.” I had a feeling that I would meet her sooner than later, but I certainly wasn’t expecting to give her a bad impression of me.
“I’m waiting for an answer. Do you normally have strange women coming in here unannounced and kissing you out of the blue? What kind of son have I raised that would have women throwing themselves at him? I don’t even want to think about what would have happened had I not been here to witness this disgusting display.” I turned with my lipstick smeared and my skirt almost around my waist.
“Mother…it’s not what you think.” It was an interesting way for him to tap dance around it, but the evidence was right in her face. “I’m doing… I mean I’m dating her and I would think that would afford her some of your respect.” His mother had him by the short hairs and her tone was eerily similar to Lillian’s. I thought that I just had one overbearing bitch to deal with, but apparently, his mother was of that same way.
“I think by now that you could come up with a better excuse than that. I shouldn’t be surprised. They say that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I never thought that you would turn out like your father. He couldn’t keep it in his pants. It didn’t matter what I did to please him. I think that it’s time that we have a very frank discussion.” I tried to make a discreet exit, but she blocked my path. Her stern expression really did make me feel like I was being held accountable for something that I didn’t do.
“This is between you and your son. It has nothing to do with me and I would rather not get into the middle of a domestic dispute.” I stood my ground, but I could feel myself weakening underneath her mom stare. “Don’t say that I didn’t warn you. There’s no way that you can treat me the same way that you do your son.” She pointed towards the living room and I had no choice. I had to obey. It was almost like it was ingrained in me from the way that my mother could literally give me one look and have me at a loss for words.
Marshall leaned into me and whispered in private “I’m sorry that you have to be here for this. I was hoping that we were never going to have to have that talk. I do have to say that I’m quite surprised to see you here. Pleasantly so, but I still have to wonder what compelled you to come here.” It was an interesting question and one that I was hoping that we could get into it after I had him screaming obscenities and writhing on top of me.
She grabbed us both by the ear. I didn’t know how painful that could be until that very moment. “I will have no secrets when I’m standing right here. If you have something to say, then share it with the rest of the class.” It was obvious to me that her background was in teaching. She knew how to garner respect and when she didn’t get it, there was only one way that she could go to make her point abundantly clear.
“Mother, I’m a grown man and I don’t need you to police my life.” It was nice to see him stand up for himself, but it didn’t look like she was going to let him play the martyr. “I have every right to live the way that I see fit. I really don’t need your permission or acceptance. You might be right and maybe some of what dad did to you rubbed off on me. I never thought of it like that before.” I didn’t want to wait my whole life for a man that had mommy issues.
“I know that you’re old enough to know better. You’re definitely too old to put over my knee, but a good talking to never goes out of style. Maybe if you hear some harsh truths then you will finally realize that your actions have consequences.” She was only small in stature at 5 foot nothing. I could’ve easily taken her, but for some reason, her intimidation tactics were too much for me to bear.
“I watched my father play with your heart and each and every time you came back after he apologized profusely for his actions. I didn’t respect you for that. I understood that you were doing it because you wanted to make it work. I hated him and we’ve never been able to stay in the same room together for any length of time before angry words were spoken.” I sat down with them and the only thing that I could do was listen. I was still feeling this need to drape my leg over the top of him and take that necessary test drive.
There was that awkward silence. This was obviously building up for a very long time. “I didn’t stay with your father because I wanted to make it work. I stayed with your father because I saw some redeeming qualities that I thought we could build on. It took several hours with a therapist before I finally realized that he just didn’t have it in him to be monogamous. I even gave him the benefit of the doubt. I tried to meet him halfway by spicing things up in the bedroom.” I looked at Marshall and he had his hands over his ears like a little child and whistling loudly so that he didn’t have to be subjected to this.
I put my hands on his wrists and I pulled them away. “I think that it is a good idea that we listen to her. She has been keeping this in for a long time and it’s not healthy. I’m starting to understand where the way that you treat women comes from. You’re damaged goods. You may not think so, but there’s something wrong inside you that needs to be fixed. I’m just not sure that I’m the woman that can do that for you. I would like to give it a try. I would feel stupid if I didn’t and you found somebody else.” I wasn’t looking at his mother, but I could hear her breathing like she was doing it over my shoulder.
“I don’t know you and I was really not impressed by the way you manhandled my son. You’re the type of girl that I wouldn’t want him to bring home to dinner. I get this feeling that there is a long line of broken hearts in your wake. That might be something that you have in common with my son.” I didn’t want to hear about my own faults and shortcomings. It didn’t look like I was going to be able to stop drop and roll from a moving vehicle metaphorically speaking. She had me where she wanted me and this was her time to say her peace.
“It was hard seeing you and father at odds. I screamed into my pillow every time that I heard you both arguing loudly. You didn’t take into consideration what that was going to do for a little boy’s self-esteem. I drew in on myself and never was one to make friends. It was only after I got out of school that my resentment turned into something that I don’t even recognize anymore. I actually enjoyed sleeping with women and then never seeing them again. I don’t want to admit this, but I think in some small way it was to get back at you.” This was a huge step and one that made me see the weight coming off his shoulders.
“That’s not something that a mother wants to hear. I’m leaving and I do hope that I have given you food for thought. It’s quite obvious what was going to happen. I can’t even look at you. You’re going to do whatever you want anyway and there’s nothing that I’m going to do to stop you. I think we need some time apart. There has been a lot said here that needed to be said. We both need time to absorb it.” She stepped to the front door and took off the red jacket by the door.
Marshall was about to get up and go after her, but I put my hand on his knee to signify that it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. He looked at me like I was crazy, but I knew enough about the female species to understand that it was not the time to get into it.
The door closed and Marshall was sitting there stunned staring out into space. This was neither the time nor the place to take our affection to the next level. I was just going to have to find some other outlet that didn’t include our sweaty bodies slamming against one another until we were both spent and had nothing left to give.
“I think that I’m going to leave and this wasn’t a very good idea. I see now that I was overreacting to something else and I was going to use you as a substitute. I’m sure that you wouldn’t have complained in the very least, but this would’ve been monumentally stupid on both of our parts. Don’t get me wrong, I still want you, but you are in no frame of mind to live for the moment. You need to take a cold hard look at yourself. It’s time that you realize that what you have been doing is wrong.” I got up and he latched onto my wrist with pleading eyes.
“I really don’t want you to go. Can you just sit here for a little while and be with me?” It was an odd feeling to sit there with him. I consoled him by touching his hand lightly and putting my head on his shoulder.
This whole thing had taken a lot out of him. It was only a few minutes before he was fast asleep. I very carefully and holding my breath took his arm away from over my shoulders. I laid him back down and I realized that what I was seeing was more than a feeling. The way that I was feeling was nothing like I felt for any man. It didn’t take money and it didn’t take fame. That was the power of the infatuation that I had for Marshall.
Chapter five
I had gone home and had some chamomile tea to calm myself down. My nerves were frayed and I still felt like somebody was watching me. There was a pair of headlights that stayed with me all the way home and then turned the other direction when I got to my road. It had to be just this whole situation and the way that Lillian had acted towards me that got me wired too tight. I wouldn’t have put it past her to have someone following me to make sure that I lived up to my part of the deal.
I lay there in bed not able to get a wink of sleep and then I heard what sounded like glass breaking. I bolted straight up, grabbing for the nearest thing that I could use as a weapon. The only thing that I had on hand was a hair dryer. It was heavy and using it like a weapon might be perfect for sending the right message.
I very slowly went out of my bedroom, standing there in the darkness trying to adjust my eyes and then I saw the shadow of somebody by the broken window. Whoever it was had come in from the fire escape and was now skulking in the darkness like a specter of the night.
I tiptoed very carefully, wearing only a pair of boy shorts and my long hair hanging over my breasts to hide my nudity. I wasn’t even concerned that he might be here for more than just stealing me blind. It hadn’t even occurred to me that I might be in danger.
I wanted to shock whoever it was. I turned on the lamp to illuminate a man that should’ve been home nursing a hangover.
“I followed you and now I know where you live.” He had the stink of alcohol on his breath. Marshall had obviously gotten into the bottle to wash away his sins. “I don’t think that it was very fair of you for leaving me in my state. I barely heard the door close. I wasn’t even sure how I was going to keep up with you. I saw you go into this building and I wanted to join you, but I thought better of it. I didn’t get very far before I found myself with cash in hand buying a bottle of cognac. I’m just one step up from those that panhandle on the street.” I still held the hair dryer in my fist turning my fingers white. I wasn’t sure what to expect.
“You must know that you’re drunk and you’re not acting in your right mind. You broke my window. What exactly did you expect was going to happen? Did you want me to run into your arms like a fairy tale character and give you my love and undying devotion? Did you want to sleep it off here, because you were afraid of what your mother might think if she came over and found you like this?” I was still a few feet away from him and this was not the way that I was going to cement our bond.
“It’s not fair and everything was perfectly fine before you came into my life. I enjoyed having sex with multiple partners and not even bothering to learn their name. There were a couple of girls that really left a lasting impression. There was this older girl, very appreciative and responsive to the point that I wasn’t able to hold her down. Lillian knows how to push my buttons, but I couldn’t allow her to find a place in my heart. It was sick and I began to see her as my mother. I know that any therapist would have had a field day with that one.” He was swaying on his feet and the putrid stench coming from his mouth made me cringe and want to be anyplace but here.
“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do for you, Marshall. I’m going to set you up out here on the couch. You can sleep it off and then we can talk about it in the morning. It’s very early and only roosters and farmers are up at this time of night or early morning. Take your pick. I’m not going to let you drive in your condition. You could have hurt somebody severely by driving here.” I wasn’t even sure that he was listening to me and it felt like he was staring right through me.
“I might be drunk, but I’m not as think as you drunk I am. Wait…did I say, that, right? I had enough sense not to drive here. I left my car in the liquor store parking lot most likely being stripped for parts as we speak. I got a taxi and I was on my way home, but I found myself telling him to drop me off here.” That at least gave me a feeling of relief that he wasn’t on the road becoming a menace to society.
“Don’t even think for one moment that you are going to get into my bed. It is a very comfy queen size. There’s more than enough for the both of us, but that’s not going to happen.” I went over to a hope chest and opened it to the smell of must assaulting my senses. There were a few blankets. I pulled a couple of them out and used them to get him ready for bed. It was making me feel like I was a nursemaid.
“I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me. I’ve given you no reason to and yet you keep coming back for more. What exactly does that say for you? I’ve been playing a game from the moment that I met you and you bought into it. I can’t be trusted and I’ve tried to stay away, but you’re a hard woman to forget.” He crashed against the table that had the lamp on it and sent it to the floor with a terrible crash. The only light had been extinguished. The room masked us both in darkness and shadows that danced on the wall.
I could see his shadow coming towards me in a lumbering fashion. He acted like his shoes were untied. He fell forward and was soon smothering me underneath him. We were on the couch and he was mauling me like some Neanderthal thinking that the right way to a woman’s heart was by clubbing them over the head.
That little boy smile really was enough to bring me to my knees. He had his hands on my breasts and I could feel him clumsily trying to tweak my nipples. I should have stopped him, but it felt so good that I didn’t want it to stop.
“I don’t think that you’re going to feel very good about this in the morning.” He lifted his head and smiled with his eyes half closed. He nuzzled my neck with his tongue touching on that very spot. “Oh, fuck it… It’s not like I don’t want you.” That tongue swirled and caused me to feel this certain wetness creeping from between my legs.
He bit my shoulder, causing me to jerk in his grasp with the moonlight shining through the window. I could see his tongue snaking out of his mouth. I felt the wetness contact with my skin and I shivered like a pubescent girl about to have her first time.
“I can’t see how you can know what you’re doing in this condition. The liquor that you consumed is running upstream against any good sense.” I found myself spreading my legs with one over the back of the couch and one planted firmly on the floor.
“You can’t tell me that this isn’t what you want. You’ve been flaunting your body every chance that you get. There’s just so much that a man can take before he reaches his limit. I’m just a man with needs, but I know that you’re a woman with your own needs. Let me prove to you that I can be the man that you want me to be.” His tongue moved down while igniting my body with spastic waves of pleasure that had me anxious to see what he was going to do next.
“I do appreciate that you are willing to go that extra mile. It says something about your character, especially when you are in no frame of mind to realize what you’re doing.” His hands were all over me and they were awkward. There was no pattern and he was all over the place. That made him unpredictable and had me literally in the palm of his hands.
“You are so…so fucking hot that it’s hard for me to think of anything other than your beautiful body.” It was a nice thing to say, but how he was able to string two sentences together was beyond me. “I can’t believe that I’m fortunate enough to touch you. It is a dream come true and one that I will remember forever.” I had my doubts that he was going to remember his own name in the morning.
I held my breath and I swallowed hard when he bit my eraser hard nipple. I felt him pull it away from my body and then turn his attention to the other one to do the same thing. He was chewing on the tips, licking in circles and giving me a reason to let this continue even if he was using the liquor as an excuse.
“You’re definitely…ahh…earning some brownie points that I’m sure that you’re going to have to use at some point to get out of the dog house. Fuck…you do know what you’re doing, even if you are drunk off your ass.” I held his head and moved my hand through his hair while pressing him tightly against my right breast. I was extra sensitive and only those that had been with me in the past would know that.
I cried out a couple of times and my legs bucked from underneath him. He finally gave me my space, but only enough to move into position. He was pulling my shorts to the side. When that wasn’t enough, he lifted my legs into the air and took them off and flung them into the air.
“I just want to make you feel as good as you have made me feel. Just having you in my life gives me hope that there is room for love in my heart.” He surprised me with that comment, but I wasn’t going to read too much into it. “Those lips demand to be kissed.” I thought for sure that he was going to come up with that breath of his and make me endure the sloppy way that he would kiss me.
It was when he penetrated the barrier between my legs that had me lifting my whole body off the couch. “Yes…deeper…fuck me with that tongue and make me cream down my legs. I want you and I have been fighting this feeling for too long. You can see how wet I am and how desperate I am to…to… Jesus…anymore of that and I won’t be responsible for my actions.” I don’t know how he managed, but he slowed down and gave me an agonizing tongue lashing.
I heard the sloppy way that he was licking me, but it didn’t matter. His technique might’ve been a little all over the place, but it was getting me there. I was humping my ass off the couch with my hands over my head holding onto the arms of the couch. I could feel it growing inside me like an alien presence that was going to burst from my stomach like in that movie.
I could feel his hands gripping my thighs and digging his fingernails in for good measure. I wasn’t going anywhere and I didn’t see that there was a place that I wanted to be other than right here and right now.
“You make me feel like I’m flying and that somehow I’m out of my body looking down and watching all of this happen. I feel like I’m floating in the ether of our desire for one another. You have no idea what you have started. The only thing that I know is that you better finish or I will have to take matters into my own hands.” His tongue was darting in and out of me with his two thumbs rubbing the pleasure center of my sex.
He was like a ravenous animal, completely unhinged and going after me like I was his last meal. I looked down and I could see the stain of my juices coating his lips like a very obscene milk mustache. He looked up, but he really wasn’t there. He was able to stay in the moment, but I had no idea how.
“You…definitely know how to touch me in just the right way.” This was so much better than my fingers and he was putting to shame the young man that I had gone to for this specific act of debauchery.
I had no idea if his love was going to save me. The only thing that was going through my mind was the electric charge that was ready to implode from the inside out. I felt it coming, but I wasn’t prepared for the duration of the scream that echoed in my apartment and most likely woke up my neighbors.
“YES…MARSHALL…MARSHALL…YES…FUCK ME…FUCK ME…YES…YES…YESSSSSSSS.” I was no longer holding onto the wheel and I had my hands clamped down onto the back of his head to make sure that he was going to leave me satisfied with no will to stand on my own.
He didn’t stop there and the second and third orgasm was almost enough to make me pass out from the sheer pleasure of it all. It was the young ones that needed to be molded into a consummate lover. I had been giving men my own age a bad rap for too long. There were exceptions to that rule and Marshall had gone above and beyond.
I lie there completely stupefied, my skin on fire and showing glistening droplets of sweat rolling down my body. He was still between my legs, licking lightly at my well-satisfied lips. He touched my clit on and off to feel me spasm. It made him smile to know that he was the cause of my pleasure.
“You better not think that we’re done.” He was on his knees, fumbling with his button when his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell backward. I couldn’t believe it.
He had me wanting to show him several new positions. I would have gladly driven stick cowgirl style, slapping his chest and leaving behind handprints of my lust etched into his skin. There was no way that I was going to be able to move for quite some time.
He was completely out of it, snoring loudly and I slipped underneath the covers of those two blankets with my knees up to my chest not to disturb him. I was still tingling and my legs were numb with that fire down below merely a simmer of what it once was. I could’ve gone all night, satisfied his every whim and left him wondering what hit him. He was going to miss out on that and I had no idea if we would find some time to revisit this.
Chapter six
I heard pots and pans banging together and opened up my eyes to see him stumbling around in the dark. The light outside informed me that another day had arrived. It was still very early, but he must have thought that he had to do something to make up for coming here and breaking my window.
The coffee was already percolating and the timer had gone off precisely at the time that I had requested. I was not a morning person and the cotton in my mouth made me feel like what we had done last night had crossed the line.
“I would suggest that you drink a gallon of that stuff. Sober up and then we can talk about how you acted last night. I’m going to take a shower. I would ask you to join me, but the moment is over.” I got up, clutching the blanket to my naked body and for the first time feeling vulnerable and exposed.
“Before you go and do that, would you like to explain what happened here? I have no idea, but the taste on my lips is not exactly foreign to me. I would say that somebody got lucky last night. It would’ve been nice to be there with you, but I do hope that I made up for it in some way.” His shirt was out of his pants and the thumping presence of his manhood was not that hard to recognize.
“I will say that you made up for breaking my window. I don’t know what possessed you to come here in the first place. I would be dressing you down, but I have to say that you made a believer out of me. I can’t express how much I enjoyed that. That is the first time in a couple of weeks that I have slept like a baby. You were responsible for that. It was like you were possessed by the devil. You kept coming back and I don’t think that you would have stopped. The only thing that made you stop was the liquor. It was too much for you. You passed out and unfortunately, it was at the time in the evening where you were going to… I don’t think that I should say.” I was teasing him and having a bit of fun at his expense because he didn’t let me see what was obviously his prize possession.
“By all means, finish your sentence and you have me more than curious.” He had a cup of coffee and it was that necessary black to be as strong as possible. “What exactly did I miss out on doing? I’m probably going to regret asking, but I don’t think that I can live without knowing.” If he was going to be like that, then I felt that it was my responsibility to show him that getting drunk has its disadvantages.
“Look at yourself and tell me what was going to happen.” He glanced down to where he had unbuttoned his pants, but the zipper still remained intact. “I’m sure that somebody with your intellect can put two and two together.” I saw that look on his face and I walked backward down the hall towards the bathroom.
“Please don’t tell me that I passed out before we could do the dance with no pants” That was a crude way of describing it, but it was essentially exactly as he said it was. “I get the feeling that I was a bit more anxious than you were expecting. I don’t even know what to say about my behavior. I can see from the smile on your face that you’re not complaining. Why would you when you got what you wanted and left me high and dry.” There was no way that he was going to get away with making me the bad guy.
With a purpose, I walked over to where he had broken my window and showed him exhibit A. “I’m not saying that what you did wasn’t fun, but what about my window? I’m going to have to pay for that out of my own pocket. A lumbering idiot tried to put his hands on me? I’m glad that you didn’t try to force anything, or you might have gotten a well-placed knee where it would do the most damage.” He was holding his head with one hand and that cup of coffee with the other. He came over and surveyed the damage before reaching into his jacket for his pocketbook.
“I made this mess and I should be expected to pay for it.” That wasn’t what I had in mind. He had more than made up for it by making me moan incessantly. I don’t think that I had ever screamed that loud in my life. It was a testament to his prowess in the bedroom. I didn’t get to find out if what I had felt was real. That was some interesting hardware that he was carrying around with him.
“There’s no reason to do that. I can certainly afford to fix my own window and I don’t need a man to take care of me.” I didn’t mean to be defensive, but I’d come a long way to insert my own independence and I wasn’t going to allow anybody to take it away from me.
“I can see that you’re one of those progressive girls that need to stand up on her 2-feet. I was just trying to help and I do hope that you didn’t take it the wrong way.” I walked over to him and ruffled his hair. I did not find that he was fussy enough to try to fix it.
“If it’s all the same to you, let me handle my business. I’m sure that your mother is worried about you not coming home last night. You might want to give her a call and tell her that you spent the night at a friend’s house. If I were you, I wouldn’t mention what we did. I doubt that you would, but I have no idea how open you are with your mother about your sex life.” It was just a nice little jab at his masculinity. I wanted him to think that I thought of him as a mama’s boy.
“I don’t mean to be eating and running, but I do have a place to be.” His underlying meaning was clear and he was referring to quite crassly about giving me pleasure. “I’ve already called a taxi and I really didn’t want to disturb you. You obviously needed your beauty sleep. I mean…you needed to be well rested and I was going to slip out without saying anything. Don’t worry; I know how stupid that was.” I was still feeling the effects of him exploring my flesh. I’d already noticed that there were marks on the inside of my thighs from the way that he was pressing his fingernails into my body.
“You should take the coffee with you. You need it way more than I do. I could use a vitamin C shot.” He was way ahead of me and had the orange juice already poured. He reached back and grabbed it and put it into my hand. The cool surface of the glass was a welcome relief.
“I do believe that I’m going to take you up on your offer. I don’t know if it’s too early, but I would really like to see you again for supper tonight. This time, I would like you to come over to my place and I’ll cook for you. Believe me, I don’t do that for any other girl and you should consider what that means. Do you have any requests, or can I surprise you like you did with me at Antonio’s?” I was actually quite fond of a man cooking for me. I was hoping that he would wear just an apron and nothing more, but maybe that was asking for too much.
“I think that I can manage to be there for 7:00 PM. I didn’t like the way that you went about last night, but the results are undeniable. You have a gift and one that I hope that you will never share with anybody ever again. That might sound obsessive, but you brought it on yourself. All that I know is that you made me cum too many times to count. They blended in with one another and it was a never-ending log ride of pleasure.” I took the coffee from his hands, drinking half of it and then placing it back where it was.
“I don’t see you being the one that is suffering from a hangover. I know that I did this to myself, but I think that everything worked out in the end. We have something here that I would like to try and make into something lasting. I don’t know if that is even possible and I’ve never done anything like this before. This is new territory and I’m going to need your hand to show me the way.” He was the kind of man that was the perfect combination of strength and vulnerability.
“What you are asking is impossible.” I saw the confusion on his face and I was going to have to explain. “I’m exactly like you. I thought at one time that I had found somebody to care for, but I was just settling for second best. We are going to be the blind leading the blind. I’m sure that between the two of us we can figure this out. I’ve known a lot of men that get drunk and do stupid things. They either get too hands on, get silly or angry. What you did last night was make me forget about all of them. There’s a part of me that wants you to continue to drink if that is the way that you’re going to act. I can’t in good conscience do that, but I don’t see any reason why we can’t indulge.” I did enjoy having a few drinks to loosen up and I didn’t want him to go cold Turkey.
“I don’t have a problem if that is what you’re thinking. You’ve met my mother and anybody that meets her usually ends up drinking themselves into a stupor. Living with that tension all of these years has made it impossible for me to have a normal relationship with my parents. I will say one thing and they did give me an appreciation for wine. I have my own small wine cellar. Don’t get too excited, because it’s not that special. I do have a few interesting bottles that you might find to your liking. I’ll have something nice for dinner.” He was at the door and I was reaching out about to tell him everything, but then there was nothing.
I watched him leave; feeling like such an idiot and knowing that I had allowed Lillian to hold this secret hostage over me.
I went to the window with my hand on the glass. It was a good thing that he had only broken one pane. It probably would’ve cost a whole lot more to replace the window than just one small square of glass. I made a few phone calls and finally found one company that was willing to do a rush job for a price.
I called the office and told them that I was going to be late and that I had to take care of something. My boss Wendell was not exactly happy, but he knew that I was the one that was bringing in all the money. There was no way that he was going to bite the hand that fed him and kept him living high on the hog.
Chapter seven
I had made up my mind that I was going to tell him everything at dinner. He would probably hate me, throw things and yell, but it was a risk that I was willing to take. I kept thinking about what Lillian had said and how her plans stemmed from me keeping him from learning the truth. After tonight, I was either going to have him on my side or as an enemy.
If I was going to drop this bombshell in his lap, then I was going to have to do something to make it easy to swallow. That mesh outfit was on underneath my clothing. It made me feel naughty to be wearing something so decadent that it was going to knock his socks off. I decided on a black leather dress. It was form fitting and molded to my considerable curves perfectly. I was not taking any chances. I had to let him know that my interest was more than just the job.
I was feeling pretty good about myself. The window was fixed and I had sold three cars in the span of 3-hours because they kept saying that there was something about me that made it hard to resist. It could’ve been the glow of innocence, or it could’ve been those naughty thoughts that I had about Marshall that kept my best feature on high beams. It was not exactly easy to keep those tendencies to myself.
They bled out in ways that included hard nipples that drew the attention of men and women alike. I hardly had to do anything to convince them to buy. That seductive glance came from the way that he had consumed me. My body was screaming sex. Wendell was ecstatic and actually, gave me a fair-sized bonus and one week off paid vacation. I told him that I was going to take it immediately and that I had my eye on this certain ski chalet that I’d always wanted to stay in.
I had made arrangements and was hoping that Marshall was going to join me, but I was putting the cart before the horse. Whatever the hell that meant. I was hoping that he would listen to reason and that we could run away together. It was a little girls’ fairy tale dream. It was something that I’d thought about several times since meeting him but never was able to pull the trigger.
I was standing at his door remembering the last time that I had graced his doorstep and how badly it had gone. I half expected him to have company, but this time it was different. Opening the door, I found him wearing an impeccable suit with no tie. In his hand were a bottle of wine and two long stemmed glasses.
“I don’t think that it’s legal for you to look like that. I’m sure that you had a lot of guys looking at you on the way over here.” He was probably right, but I really wasn’t thinking about them. I was playing over the conversation that was going to turn into a heated argument with a few choice words.
“I have to say that you do clean up well.” He was shaved, showered and smelling like a million bucks. I loved the cut of the blue suit. I had no problem looking at the outline of his package and licking my lips with a desire to quench my thirst. It would’ve been so easy to push him into doing something that was more likely to make him listen to me. I could give him lip service, shower him with affection and then when he was suitably satiated, I could tell him everything that I had on my mind.
That was the coward’s way out, but it would’ve been so pleasurable and at least I could say that I had returned the favor for last night.
“Let me take your jacket. Dinner will be ready shortly. We can enjoy a glass of wine and talk before dinner. I have a few things to say that were left unsaid last night. I wasn’t just saying those words because I thought that you needed to hear them.” He slipped my jacket from around my shoulders and I heard him gasp with seeing the dress that I was wearing. He moved my hair away from my neck; took a whiff of my womanly scent and then lightly touched the tip of his tongue to the nape of my neck. I thought that I was going to collapse into his arms. I managed to control myself for the time being.
“I want you to know that these moments these last few days have been the happiest of my life.” I was preparing the scene, trying my best to pull the Band-Aid off slowly and not startle him like a wounded animal.
“I know when I started to have real feelings for you. It was when you leaped out of the plane and screamed at the top of your lungs. I saw how willing you were to take that leap of faith and it hit me right where it mattered. You scared me and I know that I didn’t act appropriately. I could’ve handled that a whole lot better, but I didn’t know what to do with those feelings. They were new to me and there’s no way that I could express to you all of that.” He opened the wine and we sat down in his living room where I remembered putting my head on his shoulder.
It was comfortable and serene. There didn’t seem to be anything that could break up this feeling like we were supposed to be together forever.
“I appreciate what you have to say, Marshall, but there’s more to it than you realize. I should have told you a long time ago, but I was cowardly. I may seem strong and confident, but underneath, I still have moments where I’m not the person that you think I am.” I was saying the words, but I still hadn’t gotten to the point of the conversation.
The ding of the stove interrupted my thoughts. He took my hand and we went into the dining room. Everything was perfect. He even pulled out my chair, letting me sit down and then retreating to his own side of the table. We were eye to eye. He lifted the lid of each dish. I could smell the aroma of the Italian pasta, garlic bread and this freshly made ravioli that had me looking at him with surprise.
“My grandmother, god rest her soul, taught me some of the finer things of Italian cooking. I sat at her feet and I learned from the master how to make my own pasta. I think that you’ll agree that it is better than the store-bought variety. She always said that everything tastes better made with love.” I was feeling claustrophobic like the walls were closing in on me. I quickly took the glass of wine and downed it in one swallow.
I had a few bites, but I really couldn’t think about food at a time like this. It was delicious and I had to recognize that he had gone out of his way to make this evening special. I had to steel myself for what I was about to say. I knew that I would have the wrath of Lillian down on top of me. I didn’t care anymore and my feelings surpassed any danger that might befall me.
“I’m going to have to say this before I lose my nerve. I was hired by Lillian, Tina, and Julia to make you fall in love with me. They wanted me to break your heart, stomp on it and then leave you to pick up the pieces. I thought that was the extent of it, but Lillian has had it out for you from the moment that you stopped seeing her. She doesn’t just want to break your heart, but she wants to ruin you and leave you penniless.” I could see that the evening had taken an ugly turn. The expression on his face was a mask of euphoria. It was replaced with contempt.
“I’m going to ask you very nicely to leave.” His tone was neutral, but his anger was right there driving like a knife through me by the look in his eyes.
“I need you to listen to me.” That was the last thing that I should have said. He took a long and drawn out breath and slammed down his hand so hard onto the table that the food and the plates lifted at least a foot in the air. They came back down with a resounding rattle of glass and cutlery.
“I think that you have said more than enough. You must’ve been laughing behind my back this entire time watching me fall needlessly and hopelessly in love with you. If it’s any consolation, you are very good at your job. You do know that you’re not much better than those hookers on the street that sell their wares to those with money. You used me for money and I do hope that your payday was worth it.” He wasn’t letting me explain. I didn’t blame him for his hurt feelings, but I had to do something to soothe those troubled waters.
“I’m not leaving here until you hear me…ouch…you’re hurting me.” He had grabbed my wrist and had come around from the other side of the table to lift me to my feet by my arms. I thought that he was going to strike me. He dragged me to the door and threw my coat in my face.
“I can’t stand to look at you. I can’t believe that I was so stupid to let you in. It was my own fault and I guess from your point of view I had this coming. Get out before I do something that we both regret.” There was no point in arguing and his mind was already made up.
I stood at his door trying to come up with the right words and there was really nothing that I could say in my own defense. I had taken the job and I was more than happy to rip his heart from his chest and let him suffer the indignity of having it displayed for the entire world. I had no idea what I was going to do about Lillian, but getting away from the city and my problems was the only thing that came to mind.
“I’ll go, but not until I tell you that everything…” The door slammed in my face and I was left shivering not from the cold but from the icy reception that I had received. I called him, letting it ring and getting his voicemail before leaving a message. I didn’t know if he would listen to it from the beginning to the end. I had to tell him that everything was not a lie. I told him that I was going away and that I wouldn’t be back for a week. I poured out my heart in that message. It was less than a minute before the phone signaled that my time had reached its limit.
I heard the scream and it made me stop in my tracks on the sidewalk. He wasn’t keeping it bottled up. I wanted to run back into his arms. I wanted to give him my hot embrace and that feeling of undying love coming from my heart. I knew that he was in no shape or any condition to hear it. It was better that I get some distance from him and as well from Lillian.
I was kicking myself. I should’ve waited to tell him the truth until after dinner and possibly dessert that would be served hot under the covers. I got into my car, slamming the door and then my hands down onto the steering wheel in that order. I breathed deeply, finally composing myself long enough to drive away and look into my rearview mirror. I could only hope that was not the last time that I was going to see him. He was blind with rage, but maybe in time, he would see that my feelings for him were true.
I still had no idea what I was going to do about Lillian and the obvious betrayal that she would feel when she saw her work unravel in front of her eyes. I was more upset that I had hurt Marshall than I was about Lillian coming after me. I would go to the mountains in a secluded area, wallow in my self-pity and try to come to terms with what I’d done.