Chapter 16: Jess

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Sophie asked. “I know you must be totally bummed out that Drew isn’t coming. I would be. If you want to call it early and just go home, we totally can. I know I would understand, and I’m sure that Emma would, too.”

“But Aunt Sophie!”

“Right, Emma?” Sophie asked Emma pointedly, giving her the look of death. “Because we both want your mom to be happy, right?”

“Right,” she answered glumly, looking far from convinced. “We can go. If you want to.”

I reached over and pulled Emma into a hug, kissing the top of her head until I heard her start to giggle. I could feel Sophie watching us, and I knew she was still concerned. She knew how excited I had been about Drew joining us for our annual July Fourth picnic. So when Drew called to cancel, she knew it was massive disappointment to me. She wasn’t wrong.

I was most definitely bummed out, and there had been a part of me that had wanted to cancel the whole day. Looking at Emma, though, I had known I couldn't do a thing like that. It wouldn't have been fair to cancel, based on my own disappointment. Just like it wouldn't be fair to call it and early night, now that we were here at the park.

This was a family tradition, on that had existed long before Drew came into the picture. And if things ended up not working out with him, the tradition would continue. Besides, Emma looked forward to this night all year. It was the only time we got to see a huge fireworks show in our area. There was no way I would deprive her of it.

Emma was trying not to look upset by the idea of leaving early, but she was my daughter. I knew her well enough to know that she was fighting back tears.

“No, we’re not going anywhere,” I said. “Are you kidding? We haven’t even seen the fireworks yet. We are not going to stop having fun just because a guy didn’t show up.”

“Darn right,” Sophie answered with a smirk, putting a comforting arm around Emma. “And it’s been pretty awesome, too. Guys don’t necessarily make a thing better. Just like we were telling you a couple of days ago, Emma.”

“Yeah, I guess I get that now,” Emma agreed, looking hopeful that things might work out in her favor, after all. “This is fun without boys. It always has been.”

"And it still will be," I asserted.

I made a decision then to take my hurt feelings and shove them down deep, where they couldn't rear their ugly heads again for the rest of the night. I knew I couldn’t ignore them forever, but for now, they could wait.

Later, when we were safely home and Emma had shuffled off to bed, I would have to think about things. I would have to think about Drew canceling on me at the last minute, and also the way he had canceled. There had been something strange in his voice, a weird little hitch I couldn't ignore.

When I had asked him why he couldn't come, he had told me that something had come up, but something in my gut told me it was someone that had come up. I wasn't a complete idiot. I'd done a little bit of digging into Drew's reputation since we started dating, and I knew he was a bit of a ladies' man, to say the least.

I hadn't seen any real evidence of that in the short amount of time we had been dating, but our time had been exactly that. Short. If he was going to start getting bored, it would probably be around now, now that he'd gotten what he wanted from me a couple of times and the novelty of it had worn off.

All of these thoughts would occupy my mind later, but not while on our picnic. It was one of our favorite holidays and favorite traditions. There was no way I was going to let anything ruin that, not even Drew.

“You know,” Sophie said in an offhand, casual way. “I’m not even sure this guy is real, big sister. For all I know, he’s a figment of your imagination.”

“Um, what?” I asked, turning to her. Her expression was unreadable. “Are you joking? I can’t tell if you’re joking. Are you calling me crazy?”

"Calm down,” she said, a hint of a smile on her lips. “Nobody said that. Still, it's not like I've ever seen this ‘Drew' character. What about you, Emma? Have you seen this guy?"

“Nope. Never seen him before.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s not real!” I laughed and swatted at my two best girls affectionately. “Believe me, he’s real. He’s just...”

“Just what, Mama? You never talk about him, except for when you told us he was alive.”

“Yeah, Jess. Your daughter is amazingly astute. You haven’t told us much about him, except for the fact that he exists, supposedly. And the fact that he canceled on the most amazing Fourth of July picnic ever. Not a lot to go on, I’ve gotta say. What do you think, Emma?”

“I think what you just said!” Emma said.

“Okay guys, I get it. I haven’t told you much about him. That’s because it’s not that easy. Dating is harder when you get older. Once you have people other than yourself involved, it’s not the same as when you were younger. I didn’t want to talk about him until I knew that there was a reason to.”

“But there’s a reason now, Mama, right? You invited him with us.”

"Yes, there is," I answered with as much confidence as I could drum up. “I like him. I like him a lot, actually. He's completely unlike any of the guys I've dated since your daddy. He's so serious. Sometimes it's hard to tell what he's thinking, and but it's a serious that I like. Sometimes when I look at him, he reminds me of an old movie star or something, like Clark Gable or Cary Grant. I didn't think that kind of man existed anymore, but now, I think he's one of them. They don't make men like him anymore. That's what I really think. There's something special about him, even if he couldn't make it tonight."

There was a moment of silence after I spoke. I expected all three of us were mulling over the things I had just said. Emma and Sophie were probably doing their best to digest the most amount of information I had ever given them about my new, elusive paramour. For my part, I only wanted to make sure those were all things I still believed.

I knew he was special. I just wasn't sure that I could trust him. The strange tone of his voice when he had told me the night before that he wasn't going to make it kept playing inside of my head. Something about that tone made me wonder how close he was to the man I had built him up to be.

“I don’t know,” Sophie broke the silence with her flippant tone. “I’m still not convinced that he’s real.”

"Me either!" Emma shouted before dissolving into a heap of giggles.

Sophie started laughing with her, and before I knew it, the two of them were engaged in a massive tickle war beneath a now-dark sky in which fireworks were beginning to bloom. Listening to that laughter and looking up at the exploding jewels in the sky, it was hard not to feel good.

Maybe there was something more to Drew's canceling that met the eye. If so, I could deal with it later. Maybe there would be a fallout, and I would wind up broken-hearted, exactly where I didn't want to be when this whole thing had started. Those were things I could handle later if they came, but for now, I was content. My loved ones were happy, and there was a celebration lighting the night sky. With things like that to warm my insides, how could I be anything but happy?

“Hey, Mama? Who is that guy?”

“What guy, baby? You’re missing the fireworks!”

“No, Mama, really! There’s some man walking towards us. Do you know him?”

I looked down from the sky, certain that this was only more of Emma and Sophie's ribbing, and felt my breath catch in my chest. It was Drew, and if Emma hadn't been the one to point him out, I would almost certainly have thought he was a figment of my imagination.

He wasn't coming. I hadn't even told him which area of the large Seattle park we would be picnicking in, and that didn't matter because he wasn't coming. Except that here he was, walking towards me with a massive bouquet of flowers clutched in one hand.

“Drew?” I asked. “Is that you?”

I started to get up from our blanket, but he held out his free hand, motioning for me to stay seated. His pace quickened, and in no time flat, he was sitting beside me, holding the flowers out like a peace offering. His eyes were wide and maybe even a little bit afraid. When he spoke, there was a tremor to his voice I hadn't heard before.

"I'm sorry that I'm late,” he said. “This is an awfully big park, and it took me longer to find you than I would have expected."

“Late?” I asked. “You can’t be late. As far as I knew, you weren’t coming at all. You told me last night.”

“I know,” he said. “I’m sorry about that.”

“I thought something came up,” I said.

"I thought so, too. I was wrong. Some things, some people, are worth canceling for. You're worth canceling for, Jess. I should have known that earlier. You aren't the kind of girl a man cancels on, not for anything."

Before I could answer, he was kissing me, right there in front of my sister and my daughter. It wasn't something I would usually have allowed, but at that moment, I didn't care who was watching. Even when Sophie and Emma both started clapping loudly, one of them making kissy noises as she did so, I didn't care at all.