Chapter 10

Conner looked across the table at Patricia. She was the woman Stanley had tried to set him up with. She was a beautiful brunette with green eyes and a nice tan. Her teeth were pearly white, and her body was amazing. However, he couldn’t understand why he didn’t feel attracted to her.

“So, I was in the middle of my presentation to the board of directors when they stopped me and gave me a promotion.”

He perked up, trying to stay engaged as she told another story about herself. He had never met a woman who could talk about herself as much as this woman did. After seeing Taylor with that man, he had lost something. He knew it didn’t make sense and he still couldn’t understand why he was behaving so irrationally.

“I just love the way you listen to me,” she said. “You’re such a caring man. I know you’re good, that’s what Stanley told me.”

He nodded and his mind yet again went to Taylor. Why hadn’t she waited for him? Did she think he wasn’t good enough for her or was it that she didn’t want him? She had wanted him enough to have sex with him, yet she didn’t want him for anything else. He realized he was being unfair as thoughts of his plan for them reminded him that he hadn’t planned to have anything special with her. His mind was doing all sorts of things and the only thing he knew was that he didn’t want to be here with this woman.

“So, what about you?” he heard Patricia ask.

“Oh, what now?” he asked not bothering to conceal that he wasn’t listening.

The look on her face told him that she wasn’t pleased that he hadn’t been listening, but she wouldn’t give him any trouble for it. He was used to women like her and he was once again reminded of the reason he found Taylor so attractive. She was beautiful in every possible way and usually called him out where no-one else did.

“What was your childhood like?” she asked.

He didn’t know how to answer her question. His family and childhood were touchy topics even now and he wasn’t excited to talk about them.

“It was fine” he replied. “Nothing special.”

“Are you still close with your family?” she asked.

“My mother died when I was a child,” he said. “I was raised by my abusive father and I had no siblings. So no, I don’t keep in contact with anyone from my childhood really.”

The way her eyebrows went up told him that she hadn’t been expecting that.

“Oh, you poor thing,” she said, reaching out to touch his hand.

He pulled it away and shook his head. He wasn’t sentimental, and he also didn’t like to be pitied by anyone. He had made it through and he was a better man for whatever had happened to him back then.

“I’m no poor thing,” he replied. “I made it out and now I’m a better man for it.”

“Well it couldn’t have been easy,” she replied. “I couldn’t imagine not growing up with my mother.”

“Of course, you couldn’t,” he said. “That’s the perks of growing up with a mother.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“No, I am…” he said, “I’m not really in a good mood.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked. ”You don’t want to talk about it?”

Her face fell but he didn’t want to talk about it. She was nice and he would have jumped at any opportunity to make her happy a week ago, but now, he couldn’t get the memory of Taylor out of his mind.

“Well, I think we should call this a night,” she said.

He looked at the time and knew that it was his lack of interest that made her want to end their date two hours earlier than he had planned. 

“Yes, I think maybe we can catch up some other time,” he said.

“Yes, I think so” she replied perking up.

He drove home in a haze but as he parked, he noticed Taylor in the driveway. She was carrying several bags. Instinctively, he ran over to her and took a few bags from her hand. She flashed him a thankful smile and he smiled back. She looked great today and he was mentally cursing himself for being stupid and letting her way away from him.

“Thanks,” she said.

Together, they made their way into her house. He placed the groceries on the counter and turned to leave.

“Hey,” she said, “I’m having a few neighbors over tomorrow. You should come.”

“I don’t think so,” he replied.

She walked over to him and flashed him one of those beautiful smiles that haunted his dreams.

“Come on,” she said, “let’s put this bad patch between us.  The least we can do is learn to become friends.”

He looked at her skeptically. He wasn’t used to reconciliation and it felt weird to not have her angry with him.

“I think we’re better off if we stay away from each other,” he said, “for both our sakes.”

She walked over to him and put a hand on his chest. The moment her hand touched him, he felt flames in his loins.

“Conner,” she said, “I want you to be my friend.”

He wanted to say something to make a conscious reply, but his mind was too focused on her hand on his chest. He took her hand in his and pulled her towards him. Before she could say anything, he lowered his head and kissed her. She was open to him and he was happy to find that there was no resistance. Her hand fisted his shirt and he heard her let out a soft mean.

“I don’t think friends do this,” she whispered against his lips.

“They don’t,” he replied.

He picked her up and walked her over to the counter where he lowered her so that he could stand between her legs. He reached a hand under her skirt and touched her intimately. Her underwear was wet, and he knew she was ready to take him. He undid his belt, releasing his penis, which he slid into her effortlessly. Her eyes widened and she whispered his name so sweetly that he wondered if he could last much longer. 

“Yes,” she whispered while rocking her hips to take more of him, “Conner.”

She was a natural and she had no idea.

He grabbed her hips to stop her movement and began at a slow pace, allowing her to become accustomed to the feel of him inside her. She moaned and threw her head back, which drove him crazy. He lowered his head and kissed her neck.

“Conner,” she whispered.

He looked into her eyes and he couldn’t help the rush of emotions that filled him. This woman would be the death of him.

He began moving faster and soon, she was matching his thrusts. There was a fire in her eyes and she clung to him as she climaxed. He was right behind her.

“Oh God,” she whispered. “That’s the best sex I’ve ever had.”

Conner laughed at the statement she made, knowing that she only had sex once before and it was with him.

“I’m happy to hear that,” he said, turning away to get his pants. The sultry look in her eyes and the way her body slumped when he moved away told him that she had wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

“I can’t be your friend,” he said as he turned to face her again.

“Well, what do you want?” she asked, jumping from the kitchen counter. “You don’t seem like the commitment type and I’m not interested in much else.”

“So that guy the other night, was he the commitment type?” he asked, finally building up the courage to ask about the date.

“He was,” she replied. “He would have committed in a minute.”

“I see,” Conner said.

“But he was a terrible man,” she added. “But why do I feel like I owe you an explanation and I don’t?”

Conner thought about it for a moment. She really didn’t owe him anything. She had every right to do what she wanted, and he had no say in the matter. The only problem was that he wanted her and didn’t want anyone else to have her. 

“You’re right,” he said.

She looked up at him in disappointment.

“Thanks for helping with the groceries,” she said. “I think we should just be neighbors from now on.”

Conner couldn’t believe after the amazing sex they just had, she would tell him that. She was mad, and he was livid.

“Is that right?” he asked. “A neighbor that you just fuck around with now and then?”

She winced when he lashed out, but he didn’t care. He was acting out in a way that he didn’t even understand. He was hoping that somehow, things would go back to normal and he wouldn’t feel this way anymore.

“You’re the one who kissed me,” she reminded him.

“But you can’t deny that you feel it,” he replied.

“I don’t know what I feel,” she retorted. “Maybe it’s just lust for a man who can make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

Conner looked at her one last time and walked away. If that’s all this was to her, then he had to allow her to be. She didn’t promise him anything. In fact, he was the one who expected something before she told him that anything else could be possible. As he walked back to his house, he felt unhappy. He thought back over the past few years and everything he had accomplished, and he suddenly realized that nothing made him happy anymore. He loved basketball, but it was no longer fulfilling. He loved the freedom to have any woman he wanted, but he wasn’t happy. Could Taylor have walked into his life and made him incapable of being happy? The thought scared him. He didn’t want to commit. He wanted to be free but the more he stuck to it, the lonelier he felt.