Chapter 2

Conner threw back another shot of whiskey without blinking.

“Baby, come back to bed.” He heard someone call from somewhere in his house

He let out an exasperated sigh and went to his room to check it out.  He was losing track of the women coming in and out of his life, so he didn’t think it was strange that he didn’t recognize the overly tanned, platinum blonde sprawled on his bed. What was her name? He asked himself.

“Tammy,” he said triumphantly as he remembered where he had met her.

“Tammy from the carwash,” he whispered under his breath

In the light of day, she had looked more shiny and interesting but the longer he looked at her, the more flaws he could find. Why was it that he couldn’t find the perfect woman? He wasn’t looking for a genius or even a woman that interesting, just someone who didn’t bore him to death.

“Come over here, Conny,” she said

He grimaced at the sound of his name butchered.

“It’s Conner,” he managed through the foggy haze of his intoxication.

“I like Conny,” she said, trying to say his name seductively. Instead, it came out a bit childish.

“Yeah,” he said brushing it off, he was wondering how to get her out of his bed and out of his house.

“Aren’t you going to show me your best moves?” she asked, popping uncovering her naked body from under the sheet.

He tried to conceal his laugh but in this state, he could hardly control himself. They had done it three times since he arrived earlier today, and he just wanted to sleep now.

“It’s late,” he said. “Why don’t I call you a cab?”

“A cab?” she asked. “I thought I would stay here tonight?”

“Oh,” he said. “I actually have plans.”

The lie came effortlessly as it should because he did it so often.

“You didn’t tell me about going out,” she replied, eyeing him skeptically. “I would have gotten clothes to change.”

“I told you,” he said. “Maybe you forgot.”

He found that telling women they forgot something usually worked for him.

“Maybe I did,” she said while sliding off his bed and gathering her clothes that scattered on the floor.

“I’ll call the cab,” he said.

“No problem,” she replied

He called a cab. Luckily, there was one close by that could make it in less than five minutes.

“We should get together again,” she said as he walked her to the door.

“Mmmhm,” he replied, wondering if he should change his number now or after she called him a thousand times.

“I call you,” she said as she opened the door.

He walked her out to the taxi to ensure she was safely away before walking back towards his house. For a minute, he thought he must have forgotten something but as he approached the door he couldn’t figure out what exactly he had forgotten. He reached for the knob and turned it but the door wouldn’t open. It was then that he remembered the locksmith telling him to always walk with his keys when he went outside because the locks were malfunctioning, and he was likely to get locked out. He swore and slammed his hand against the closed door. It was almost midnight and he could almost guarantee that his holier-than-thou neighbors were inside enjoying their domestic bliss. Walking to the side of the house, he attempted to open the side-door that led to the garage. It didn’t budge. He gave up and tried the back door, but that didn’t budge either.

“Shit!” he exclaimed.

He looked next door and saw a light flickering on inside his new neighbor’s home. He had seen her earlier, but she hadn’t taken the time to say hello after Tammy had thrown herself at him. He looked over and saw her walking around in her kitchen. He cursed, knowing that it was either he tried to get her to let him in, or he would have to sleep in the woodshed that night.

He walked around the shrubs that separated their houses and towards the front door. He rang the doorbell once and waited.

“Who’s there?” came a soft voice on the other side.

“Ah, it’s Conner,” he said. “I got locked out of my house. I don’t have keys or a phone and I’m wondering if I could crash here tonight.”

There was silence on the other side before the door swung open. He was a bit surprised to see the woman standing on the other side. She was tall and statuesque with curly blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. She looked at him with complete disapproval and he could tell it must have been his robe. He had dragged it on before going to the door.

“Do you need to call someone?” she asked, putting one slender hand on her hip.

“I have locksmiths coming in the morning to fix the problem,” he said. “I was just wondering if I could borrow your couch for the night.”

The way she raised her brow told him he could not borrow her couch for the night.

“You can have the guest room,” she said as she stepped away from the door, “but I must warn you that if you try anything, I am a neurosurgeon and I know how to paralyze you with my pinkie.”

He paused for a moment, wondering if she was joking. When she stopped and turned to face him, he knew it wasn’t a joke.

“Umm, I’ve never forced a woman against her will ever,” he said proudly. “I don’t need to regardless; they usually come willingly.”

She gave him a wry smile and he wondered if he was wooing her or if she was laughing at him. Either way, it didn’t matter as long as he didn’t have to sleep outside that night.

“Follow me,” she said. “Do you need pajamas?”

“I usually go nude,” he said. “It’s the best way to sleep.”

“In that case, you do need pajamas,” she said. “I have my parents coming in the morning. I don’t need your junk all over my sheets.”

He chuckled a bit at how plainly she put it.

“You moved in today,” he said. “I saw you earlier.”

“So did I,” she replied. “You’re not entertaining tonight?”

The way she looked at him told him that she already got wind of his reputation from one of the community gossipers.

“I have better things to do,” he said.

“You mean wandering into your neighbors’ homes asking for accommodation?” she asked.

“Hey, what are good neighbors for?” he asked. “In fact, you can come to me for a favor whenever you need one. I’d be happy to fulfill any desire of yours.”

The way she looked at him told him that she had no idea what he was referring to.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” she asked plainly.

Well maybe she had some idea, but she didn’t seem impressed.

“I mean you’re a beautiful woman and I’ve been referred to as a handsome man. I could foresee a situation where I could… you know…” he said.

“Oh dear,” she said pressing her hand against her chest. “The woman who just left you home couldn’t have arrived at her home as yet and you’re trying to get another woman to bed?”

He didn’t like the way she was looking at him with such a heavy disapproval so he decided to try another strategy.

“I wouldn’t focus on that,” he said. “I mean, you’re a modern woman, right? You’re not bound by these ideas that monogamy is necessary.”

She shook her head disapprovingly.

“I am a modern woman,” she replied, “which means I have all right to reject a fool on my doorstep in the middle of the night.”

He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. She was proving a bit more difficult than he had initially thought. If he wanted to get through to her, he might have to put in at least two days’ work.

“Thanks, by the way,” he said.

She turned to a closet in the room and pulled out a striped pair of pajamas.

“Don’t get your junk all over my bed,” she said, throwing it to him before walking away.

He looked down at the pajamas and shrugged off his robe. They were old-fashioned, but they were much more comfortable than the itchy ones he kept. He slipped on the pants and decided to forgo the top. As he climbed into the bed, he wondered when he had ever been rejected by a woman. It had never happened and yet this woman couldn’t be more disinterested. She was beautiful and from what she told him, she was accomplished. Maybe it had something to do with the type of women he chased but he decided not to go down that road right now. He was inside, in bed, and he wanted to sleep off the shots of vodka he had thrown back earlier. Maybe the morning would be more productive. In any case, he wasn’t going to chase after his neighbor if she wasn’t interested. He knew better than to give the people around him more reasons to hate him. He had to live with them for now and he needed them to at least tolerate him even if they didn’t particularly like him.