Chapter Two
My heart stopped beating and my breathing changed at that very moment as a thousand thoughts ran through my head. I did not know what to think. All the thoughts competed for attention but one thing that I discovered that I was certain about was my uncertainty. The fear was building. Was this right? Was I going to get pregnant? I had not thought about this all before. But now my consciousness was overwhelmed by these thoughts. I noticed that he had also gone quiet and stiff. I was sure that he completely knew what was going on in my head. And then our gazes met.
Just as the memories began to take shape, I heard a knock on the door. My senses became immediately alert as I stood still; frozen, in fact. I looked around hurriedly and then scampered toward the bed and jumped on top of it, immediately putting the blanket over myself. I knew who it was already. It was Kirk. He was the only one home. I thought about telling him "hey, I'm actually feeling very fine. I just wanted to stay back because you were home" but then again, it had been so long and I was a big girl now. I did not want my brother knowing the extent to which I was glad that he was home.
"Come in" I said softly.
The door pushed open and I saw his frame enter.
He looked so good in that T-shirt that clung to his body. He was working out really good. Even I was enticed by what I saw. I could only imagine the number of girls he had flocking around him. I could not wait to brag with him.
"Hey you shrimp." His thick masculine voice dampened the air with its sweetness.
"Hey you Squid" I said softly with a smile across my face.
"I heard you weren't feeling too well. Are you lying?" He smirked... and then a grin appeared across his face.
"Why would I lie?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
"Well, I don't know. No one likes school, so I won't blame you if you were lying" he said.
I just smiled and kept my gaze on him.
He walked slowly and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked at me like he used to when he wanted to tell me stories and sing lullabies when I was much younger. At that moment, I felt safe and secure. We started to talk and he told me all about the events that have happen din the last one year of his life. He told me about his school, how he escaped poor grades, his friends, and finally, his girlfriend, Sharon. And then he asked me about my own life. I have to admit, it totally felt strange speaking to him about myself once again. I even told him about me and Stephen.
“So what would you say has been the most interesting thing to happen to you so far in school” He asked along the line.
“Just before I came back home, my department went for an event and we got to meet Justin Bieber” I said proudly.
“You did? Wow that’s great” he said.
“Yes, I even have a couple of pictures. Let me show you.” I said, with the intention of going to get my phone from my drawer where I keep it at night right before I sleep. I also wanted to show him my photo album.
I was about lift the blanket off my body when I froze.
Kirk’s eyes caught mine. He had not realized why I stopped my action dead in its tracks. The silence was deafening. It was awkward; so awkward that it did not take rocket scientist to figure out what the problem was any more. The look in Kirk’s eyes revealed that he knew. And then he quickly spoke to take away the cloud of awkwardness that was hovering over our heads.
“Where did you keep it?” he asked.
“There, in the drawer” I said, pointing to the table to his right that had two drawers just beneath its top.
He got up to help get my phone as ten thousand words went through my mind in seconds. I had not realized that I slept in just my tiny bra and panties until I was about to get up to pick the phone. It was weird to think of walking in such little clothing around my brother, even if he had seen me in all my naked glory when I was little. Things seemed a tad different this time. I had matured, and my lady parts had grown bigger and riper than they ever were. Even as I lay there under the blanket, I could feel my nipples poking hard at the thick fabric. I did not understand why my nipples were so hard, but I knew that they were. I could feel them.
Before I could think another word, I heard Kirk’s voice announce his return.
“Here you go” he said, handing over my phone to me. I noticed that the screen light was on. His finger must have pressed the side button by accident. I stretched my hand to receive my phone and forced a smile as I thanked him.
But just as my eyes made contact with the screen, I immediately became petulant and embarrassed. Shit, I had totally forgotten to close all the open applications on my phone. My browser was still up, and the last site I had visited the previous night was a sexual content hub. I kept my gaze on my phone as my fingers immediately swiped the screen in a desperate attempt to restore my dignity that had already been lost. I avoided his stare. I could not look at his eyes. He had just seen that I watch porn and not just the regular ones. Shy as I was, I was a lover of freaky adventure, and it reflected in my taste of videos. I could not get the image of the dark, African manhood that threatened to break he screen of my phone. Kirk had seen the same exact thing and he must now be wondering how spoilt his little sister had become. I did not know what to expect from him. I had no idea what he would say. I feared that he would scold me.
Second seemed like hours as I tried to deflect every glance that could catch both our eyes.
“You should put a lock on your phone, you know” he said.
“Huh” was the sound that emanated from my vocal cords. Did he just… Oh my… he was not going to scold me. Did I hear him right? Well, I could not understand the reason I was making so much of a fuss from all of this, because if it was someone else, I probably would not have been bothered by it at all. I wouldn’t care.
But this was Kirk – My Kirk. I cared what he thought of me.
“I said you should always put a password or pattern lock on your phone” he repeated without the slightest glint of anger in his eyes.
All I could do was nod. My embarrassment was still skin deep but at least Kirk did not make a big deal out of it. We continued to speak like nothing happened and I showed him the pictures that I had intended, except for the ones in the photo album, because the problem of getting up was still there.
Before he left that morning, he leaned in and planted a kiss on my forehead. Shivers ran through my young flesh as my dry skin shocked me from within. He had no idea that he had this effect on me. If only he did. If only I knew what it was!
“Breakfast is ready!” He said just as he closed the door behind him. I9 shut my eyes and threw myself on the bed incessantly.