Chapter 11

Taylor paced the room in her mother’s study yet again. She had gone home for her monthly visit and was now trying to tell her mother what was happening in her love life. She wanted to tell her about Conner and everything that had happened over the past few months but she didn’t know how to start. The last time she had seen Conner was over a month ago and he still gave her the side eye when he saw her. He was with a new woman now, a beautiful tall woman who had lasted a whole month. Although she had been the one to tell him that there could be nothing to their relationship, she couldn’t understand the hurt she felt when she saw them together. She was reading it in the papers, hearing it on the news, and it was all coming too fast. She wanted it to stop but she couldn’t hide from her frantic feelings.

“Darling, what’s gotten into you?” her mother asked, sipping on a glass of wine

“I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t even explain what I’m feeling.”

“Well, why don’t you sit down and begin from the top?” her mother said in a calm, soothing voice.

“I met someone,” she said. “Well, he’s my neighbor.”

“Alright,” her mother said with a raised brow. “And?”

“His name is Conner and he plays professional basketball,” she continued. “He’s a really great guy, he makes me laugh.”

“That’s important,” her mother said.

“Well, I…we… we hooked up one night and it was great,” she went on, “but now I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Why would you want to stop thinking about him?” her mother asked. “Why not date him?”

“It’s complicated,” She replied. “I don’t even know if that’s what I want.”

“What’s so complicated about it?” her mother asked, setting her wine down.

“He’s not the type of guy women date,” she responded. “He’s messed up and childish. He’s a playboy.”

Her mother nodded in understanding.

“What do you feel for this man?” she asked.

“I couldn’t say,” Taylor replied. “I’m all mixed up about him.”

That was the only thing she could say. She felt too much for a man she didn’t even know. They hadn’t talked much and yet she couldn’t help the way her heart swelled each time she saw him. She knew she would never admit it but each day, she opened her window to watch him go off to training just so she could see him for the day. He was like a drug she had somehow become addicted to. Yet still, she couldn’t tell what she was feeling or why she was so bent on maintaining her distance.

“But you do feel something?” Taylor’s mother probed.

“Yes, I do feel something,” she replied. “I think it might pass in time, but I just don’t know.”

Her mother was silent for a moment and Taylor wondered what she would say. In her younger years, her mother had been quite a catch and by now, she would have had much more experience than Taylor did. This was the reason her mother thought she was so weird, but Taylor didn’t let that bother her.

“What makes him so special?” her mother asked.

Taylor thought about it for a moment and suddenly, she realized what Conner had done, which no other man she had tried dating had.

“He’s funny,” she replied. “I know it’s the craziest thing, but I’ve spent all my life around people who are so serious but this guy, he just makes me laugh.”

Her mother looked at her and smiled.

“Well, that’s not a bad thing,” she commented. “Do you know your father was the only man who could ever make me laugh?”

Taylor sat next to her mom and rested her head on her shoulder just as she had done many times before as a child. She needed her mother’s comfort in times like these.

“But those were different times,” Taylor said. “Good men are hard to find these days.”

“They were different times,” her mother said while patting her head, “but men aren’t all that different now than they were all those years ago.”

“I don’t think he likes me or can like me for that matter,” Taylor insisted. 

“Your father was an excellent player in the League,” her mother said. “He had all the women and when I met him, they were still in his life.”

“So, how did you two get together?” she asked, suddenly becoming interested in hearing hear how that had actually played out.

“Well, I told him that I loved him and that if he wanted to be with me, he had to let all those women go,” her mother replied with a triumphant smile.

Taylor thought about it. She didn’t love Conner, did she? If she had no idea what it felt like to love, then how would she tell if she loved him or not? It was unsolvable, but she knew that she felt something for him. It was more than she had ever felt for anyone.

“So you think I should give him a chance?” she asked.

“Yes, if you feel something that’s more than you’ve ever felt then you need to give him a chance.”

Taylor thought about it and knew that it made sense. She felt something and although it was ill-advised, she would need to at least explore it before she tossed the idea out the window.

“I’ll talk to him about it,” she replied. “I think he’s moved on.”

“Do you think he may like you too?”

Taylor’s thoughts instantly went to their lovemaking scene in the kitchen. She hadn’t expected it, but she had loved every moment of it. It couldn’t be normal the way he made her body feel with just one kiss and he had made love to her right there in the heat of the moment. It was the kind of thing young girls dreamed about; an insatiable lust and passion for another person.

“I think he likes me,” she replied, “or at least he likes me enough to want me.”

Her mother laughed.

“That’s worth a lot more than you think,” she said. “In any case, you can have your fun with him and settle down later. What you feel is worth exploring.”

Taylor spent the rest of the night with her parents but as she drove home, she knew that she would have to talk to Conner. She liked him, he was a great guy, and he made her laugh. If she felt this way, the least she could do was give him a chance. She may end up liking him a lot more or banish him from her system. Her mother was right, for the moment, being with Conner was worth it if he made her feel alive inside.

She pulled into her driveway and went directly to his house. His car was parked outside when she arrived. As she walked over, she began to hope that another woman wasn’t there. She didn’t know if she could go through with it if a woman showed up at his door.

She knocked, and a few moments later, Conner showed up wearing only his robe. She looked up at him and smiled.

“Can I come in?” she asked.

He looked at her as if he expected someone else.

“Sure,” he replied as she opened the door to let her in.

Taylor walked into his house and realized this was the first time she had ever been there. She looked around, appreciating the minimalistic design and décor. She turned to face him and did her best not to picture him naked under that robe.

“Uh, hey,” she said.

She had almost forgotten how handsome he was. He had grown out his beard just a bit and it made him even more handsome.

“Hi,” he said. “Did you come here to just say hi?”

“Oh no,” she replied.

She didn’t know how to say what she wanted to say, and it felt awkward being here.

“Is something wrong?” he asked while walking over to her.

He took her by the shoulder and she couldn’t help the way her heart seemed to jump at the contact.

“I… I want to take back what I said,” she replied.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I mean…” she said, letting out a heavy breath, “I mean I think I like you and I don’t just want to be friends.”

The way his brow shot up told her that he was surprised at her change of mind.

“But if you already have someone, then I totally understand,” she said., “I don’t even know what I’m doing here. I know you have someone.”

He looked at her and still didn’t say anything.

“I get it,” she said stepping back and walking towards the door. “I should go. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

She opened the door and walked out. As she stepped out she cursed herself for being so stupid and simple. She was obviously not thinking clearly. She felt as stupid as ever and the rejection stung.

“Taylor!”

She turned to see Conner rushing towards her.

“You didn’t let me reply,” he said as he came closer.

“I understand,” she replied, “you don’t really need this right now”

“I didn’t say that” he replied.

“You didn’t say anything.”

“I mean, I would love to take you out,” he replied. “I was shocked, give me some credit for not expecting you to show up at my door to ask me out.”

She let out a sigh of relief.

“Great,” she replied. “I can’t wait.”

He smiled and once again, her heart flipped and she had to take a deep breath to calm herself.

“Text me,” she said as she walked away.

She went home relieved that she was getting somewhere with Conner. She didn’t expect much, but she was eager to see what could happen. If things went how she expected, she could have more nights of heated passionate lovemaking with him. It was something to look forward to even if it wasn’t what she had always wanted.