Morgan
“That smile looks good on you.” I ignored my mother as she danced around the kitchen looking more lively than she had in months.
After Marcus found her sitting in the living room crying and looking lost, things changed. Not only was she on medication to help with her depression, she was talking to a counselor too. Just someone to listen to her and never judge her for the things rolling around in her mind. She also took a pottery class once a week and joined a book club that met every Wednesday night.
Starting that week, every Saturday afternoon, she and my father were going to take a few hours to escape. Just some time to enjoy each other and reconnect. The idea of it all was so romantic. My father was being all cute about it, planning it all out, keeping it secret.
The worry on his face that day when he rushed in through the front door was one I never wanted to see again. He blamed himself for her state, though we all knew he wasn’t to blame. He was providing for his family the best way he knew how but he couldn’t let go of the fact that he’d missed the signs. The thing is, I did too.
Now that she was smiling more, and even laughing, I realized just how long it had been since the last time I saw her this happy. It was easy to forget something when it was gone for so long.
“Would a certain tall dark haired man be responsible for that smile?” I rolled my eyes at her sappy tone.
She stepped up to my side, bumped her hip to mine, and I laughed. “Maybe,” I said, shaking my head at her. She was like an eager young girl, just itching for some gossip. “I just don’t know yet what to think of him.”
“What do you mean?” she asked with a genuine concern.
“We didn’t meet under,” I paused, looking away from her, “normal circumstances.” I still felt a bit strange discussing Xavier with her. I didn’t want her thinking that I did that kinda of thing often.
“You mean a one-night stand isn’t the normal college way?” I shot her a look and she snickered.
“Marcus told you.” It was the only explanation. When she shrugged, still wearing that same smile, I knew I was right. “I’m gonna kill him.”
“Morgan, I met your dad at a party. Three weeks later we moved in together. Two months after that I found out I was pregnant.” She laughed when my eyes grew wide. “Yeah, and then we were married less than a month before you were born.”
“I am not moving in with Xavier, and we aren’t getting married or bearing any children.” Was she insane?
“Ya never know,” she added.
“Oh, believe me, I know,” I assured her.
“Okay, fine.” She turned around and leaned back against the counter. “But he obviously likes you. You’ve made the poor guy jump through hoops to gain even the smallest amount of your attention and he’s done it willingly. No twenty-one year-old I know would even bother if he wasn’t truly infatuated with the girl.”
For a silent moment we just stood there, me focusing on the dishes I washed and her, I’m sure, staring at me. I don’t know why it was so hard for me to accept that Xavier might truly want to be a part of my crazy life.
“I just think you need to enjoy his attention, because he’s passing it out in bundles.” He was too.
“Do you know when Dad is supposed to be home?”
“Sometime after six,” she answered as I looked up at the clock mounted on the wall. “I’m fine alone, Morgan.” I was hesitant, but I knew she was doing better. She was her old self again. “Go see Xavier.” She nudged my shoulder. “My keys are on the table.”
***
I pulled up in front of the fraternity, parking my mother’s car in pretty much the same place Marcus parked the night of the party. I could see Xavier’s bright red car parked across the street, so I knew he was home.
Maybe I should have called.
Suddenly just showing up unannounced felt like the wrong choice.
I was just about to leave when there was a knock on my window that made me jump in surprise. Looking over toward the man standing on the passenger side, I realized I knew him. It was the same guy that came into the Sub Shop talking about Xavier and I going home together.
He waved his hand, motioning for me to roll down the window.
I tapped the button and the window slowly began to sink. “You’re Morgan, right?”
“Yeah.” Maybe I should have said no.
“X is inside.” He nodded toward the house. “They were all torturing Jay.” I could only imagine what type of torturing was being performed. A house full of nothing but testosterone-driven men sounded dangerous.
“Come on.” He stood and walked around the front of my car before pulling open the door. “I’ll walk you up.”
As if I had a choice. He reached out and took the keys from the ignition before taking my hand in his and tugging. “I need to roll up the window,” I insisted.
I thought he’d give me back my keys, but I was wrong. Instead he leaned in past me, put the key in the ignition and then hit the button to roll up the window himself. After he took the keys back out and shut the door, he hit the lock and then began dragging me toward the house once again.
“Listen, I’m sorry if I offended you that day in the sub place.” He looked back over his shoulder, my feet scurrying along to keep up. “I didn't mean it how it sounded. Xavier was just coming out of a shit relationship with Britney the bitch, and it’s not like him to hook up with someone.” I wasn’t sure how this was any better than what he said before. “We all told him he needed a rebound girl,” he added, making my stomach feel as if it dropped to the ground.
I stumbled up the stairs and he caught me at the top before moving quickly toward the door. I tried tugging back my hand but he held it firmly.
Just as he pushed open the door, some guy walked through the entryway wearing nothing but a pair of underwear. If that itself wasn’t weird enough, he turned to face me and it was then I noticed the fake penis hanging from the front. Across the top it had a hashtag—#dickaswinging.
It was that moment that I remembered the guy from the party that streaked through the house singing out that very thing.
I looked up at the guy, feeling embarrassed that I was staring at his crotch, to find him smiling wide. “Hey sweet thing,” he said with a wink.
Normally a guy calling me sweet thing, or any other random pet name would trigger a not so friendly reaction out of me. But this situation was already awkward enough, so I decided to let it slide.
“Hey X,” the guy still holding my hand hollered out. “I found your girl outside.”
His words echoed through the house followed by a few loud whistles and obscene words, just before Xavier appeared in the doorway, a look of surprise covering his face.
Again more awkwardness, and I contemplated turning around and just walking back toward my car. I should be fighting this feeling inside of me; I knew I should. Between my mother and Marcus pushing for Xavier and my own curiosity tugging at me, it was hard to stay away.
I guess deep down inside I wanted to feel what it was like to have someone desperate for me. I wanted to let go of all the hesitation inside of me and see where it led us.
“Hey,” he finally said before his eyes shifted to where his friend still held my hand. “Brent.” He said the guy’s name, his eyes never once leaving our joined hands. “You mind letting go?” It was more of a demand, really, which in turn made me smile. The idea of Xavier feeling possessive over me felt good. I was never one to understand that outward expression until now. Prior to him I would have found all of this childish and something I would only want to avoid.
“Shit,” the guy said just before releasing my hand as if it was burning him. “Sorry, man.”
Brent was off faster than I could register and in his place stood Xavier. “What are you doing here?” he asked, only making me feel stupid for showing up. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you are here,” he added, “just a little surprised.”
“I should’ve called,” I said as I stepped back, only he didn’t let me get far.
He extended his arm and gripped my hip as he pulled me back toward him. “No,” he said in a low voice, “this is good.” He grinned when my smile widened. A heat filled my cheeks and my stomach did this crazy little fluttering rush.
I quickly tried to cover up my reaction to him by giving him my challenging look instead. Arms crossed, eyebrow arched, with my lips pursed. Only it did nothing to tame the cocky side of him. “Good, you brought your attitude with you,” he said, excitement in his eyes.
He was so weird sometimes. What guy liked when the girl they were hanging out with had attitude?
“Let’s go upstairs,” he said before taking my hand in his and dragging me off much like his friend did only moments ago. As we reached the top landing, he looked over his shoulder and then tugged me, pulling me to his side. Leaning in, he kissed my temple, and for a moment I forgot all about the information Brent offered outside. I forgot about the idea he planted in my mind about only being the girl Xavier needed to get over his ex.
But, only for a moment.
He opened a door, and within seconds I was in his room with the door shut behind us. “A rebound girl, huh?” I said without a second thought. Xavier stepped closer, a confused look covering his features. “Brent explained what the night we met was all about. That the guys wanted you to find a girl to help you get over Britney and I was that girl for you, right? The one to help you forget what you two had.”
He didn't answer me, which only made the fact that I even brought it up seem more stupid.
“I get it,” I said with a shrug. “Were the two of you together long?”
Still no reply, only an intense look I couldn’t quite explain covering his face.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
He shook his head, as he let it fall forward, now hiding his eyes from me. An awkward silence settled over the room.
“Are you going to say anything?” I asked, wondering why he was ignoring all my questions. “Xavier…” Reaching out, I placed my hand against his stomach.
He moved fast, backing me up to the door behind me, his body pressing my own against the hard wood. “Your first mistake was ever listening to a word Brent said. You’re not a rebound,” he said, his lips only inches from mine. “You weren’t that night, and you’re not now.”
“It’s okay,” I assured him, and his features hardened. “I understand.”
“Are you done?” he asked.
“It doesn’t have to be a problem.” I was just glad I figured it out now prior to my heart getting in the way of things. It was a good thing to know before things went any further than they already had between us.
“A problem,” he repeated, closing his eyes for a minute. “The only problem we have here is you.” I flinched at his words.
“Me?” I asked, feeling slightly irritated.
“Yeah,” he said, opening his eyes, looking directly into mine. “You keep looking for a way to prove this thing between us won’t work out. You’re just waiting for the moment you can say ‘I fucking told you so.’ But I got news for you, Morgan.” He lifted his hands and curled his fingers with mine. “That moment isn’t coming.”
He closed the last amount of distance between us, pressing his lips to mine, as he slowly lifted my hands above my head. Pinning me to the door, using his body to press tightly to mine, he conquered my mouth, leaving me breathless.
“I’m in this with you because I want to be, not because I feel like I have to be,” he whispered as he kissed along my jaw. “Stop pushing me away, stop fighting it.”
In a slow, torturous pace, he kissed along my jaw and down the side of my neck.
There was really no point in fighting for control, because at that moment, Xavier had it. He knew just how to manipulate my body to react to his touch, to his kiss. Within seconds I was ready to let go of all my reservations and let him do whatever he wanted.
He was right, why fight it? Challenging the connection between us was exhausting.
I bit at his lower lip as he began to pull away, triggering a moan from between his lips.
“I think it’s time you accept it,” he said, skimming the side of my nose with his own. “You want me, I want you, there’s really nothing more that matters than that.”
He was a cocky asshole who was completely right.
“Show me how much you want me,” I challenged him, and I could see his eyes fill with lust. The way he pushed his hips forward, grinding his erection against me. “No,” I whispered, “show me.”
He released my hands and reached around me to grip my ass. Gently he lifted me and I willingly circled his waist with my legs, hooking them securely behind him. Spinning me around, he began moving across his room toward his bed.
He held my body securely to his while using his other to brace himself against the mattress. I felt secure in his hold as he began lowering both of us to the bed. With my back pressed to the mattress, he sank against me, taking his place between my thighs.
My pulse quickened as his hand ran along my side, moving beneath my shirt along the way. “I’m gonna take my time with you,” he whispered. “I want to remember everything.” Pressing his mouth to mine, he ran his tongue over the seam of my lips and I parted them, welcoming more. “I’ve craved that soft whimper of yours.” He pressed into me once more and I raised my own hips, gaining even more connection. “I’ve dreamed of that sound,” he confessed. “I need it.”
“I need you,” I admitted.
“You have me,” he assured me just as his hand covered my breast. “You have me,” he repeated, covering my lips with his once more.