Elijah
I looked up just as Marcus opened the front door. “If you’ve come just to upset her—”
“No,” I assured him, “I just need to sort some things out.”
“She cried herself to sleep, ya know.” He may as well have kicked me in the nuts; it would have been less painful. “She thinks you’re embarrassed by her. Thinks things are over between you.”
“Do you know how hard it is to know that she’d been going through those things and I couldn’t stop it?”
“You didn’t know.” He looked back over his shoulder before quickly turning his gaze back to me. He spoke much softer now. “She didn’t want us to know. We can’t stop something we aren’t aware of and you can’t protect someone if you don’t know they’re in danger.”
Nothing he’d said made me feel better. The fact of the matter was that I didn’t protect her. Nothing could make me feel better about that.
“I just wanna see her,” I told him, feeling raw and exhausted. I’d spent the last six hours at my aunt’s going over what had happened with both her and Uncle Miles. They both told me the same things then Aunt Meg gave me hell for leaving her.
“Please understand that she was ashamed and somehow in her mind she’d convinced herself that had anyone known, they would have felt she wasn’t good enough. She was wrong and I think she knows that now, but rehashing the wrongs we’ve all done won’t change that.”
I nodded as he stepped aside and allowed me to enter.
I stood back staring at the sleeping figure on the couch. My sweet girl was buried beneath the covers all the way up to her neck. Dark hair spilled out over the light color of the couch and a light snore filled the silence of the living room.
“Nothing I say is meant to make you feel bad,” Marcus said. “I just want you to know how lost she’s been all night. I could tell she’s been completely lost in her thoughts, her doubts.”
With a gentle squeeze of my shoulder Marcus left the living room and gave me the space I needed.
Moving in closer to where Cat lay, I sat down on the coffee table and leaned over, resting my elbows on my knees. In the glow from the kitchen I could clearly see her face and found myself focusing on every twitch, every sigh.
Seeing the cut on her bottom lip just brought back the pain and anger I felt when I first found that son of a bitch with his hands around her neck. A faint darkening of her eye did nothing to ease the tightening I felt in my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, reaching out to run my finger along her cheek. She twitched and I paused, waiting for her to calm once more. “No one will ever hurt you again, including me.”
“You didn’t hurt me.” Her hoarse whisper surprised me when I saw that her eyes were still closed. “You scared me.”
“I never meant to, I just couldn’t stop myself once I started hitting him—”
“Not that.” She finally opened her eyes. “I’m talking about you leaving.”
I hung my head, feeling shameful for my actions. “It was hard for me to accept that you’d gone through the things you had. There were times you’d leave my house and go home to sleep in fear. I feel like somehow I failed you by not protecting you and keeping you away from that.”
“Had you known, I know you would have protected me, so that’s on me, not you.”
I slid off the table and kneeled on the floor next to her, gently brushing her hair back from her face. “You’ve had enough on you for far too long. Why don’t you let me take it now?”
The shimmering, glossy look in her eyes made my throat feel tight.
Leaning forward I pressed my forehead to hers and we both closed our eyes. I focused on her breathing, and I realized just how much it soothed me.
“I love you,” I said without hesitation. Suddenly I felt her body shake against my own. I knew in my heart it wasn’t because she was saddened by my confession, just the opposite actually. “I’m so in love with Blake.”
I said her first name, knowing it would show her my words were true.
“You’ve lived far too long without feeling safe, far too long being forced to hide. No more hiding, baby, you’re never going back to that life.” I didn’t care what it took, hell, if I had to leave the fraternity and get my own place so I could help her afford to live on her own I would.
“I’m moving in here,” she whispered, and I smiled, knowing that she’d be happy here. “Marcus added their name to a wait list for a three bedroom over a month ago.”
“I knew I liked that guy for a reason.”
I leaned in and kissed her eye softly before moving to her lip. Ever so gently I kissed both her lips too. I still felt nearly destroyed with the knowledge that anyone had laid a hand on her. I wanted to fucking kill both her mother and stepfather for doing the things they had done.
“Do you really love me?”
I sat on the floor and moved the blanket down lower, exposing her neck and her shoulders, and began to trace over her collarbone with the tip of my finger. “I’m so fucking in love with you that the thought of anything happening to you is crippling. You own me, sweet girl, and I think you have since the moment I first saw you in Porter’s. All the time since you’ve just been digging your way in deeper.”
“I love you too.”
Feeling raw before had absolutely nothing on how I felt hearing those three words.
“Promise me something.” She nodded when I said those words. “Promise that no matter what it is, you’ll come to me? No more secrets.”
“Can I take you home with me?” I asked after a moment of silence and she shook her head, making my stomach tense in disappointment.
“I’m too tired to even think of moving right now.”
It was understandable; she’d been through so much, not just with her parents but me too.
“Got room up there?”
She laughed quietly. “For you?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re bigger than the average human, Eli, there’s no way the both of us are going to fit on this couch.” She looked from left to right, then back to me as if mentally measuring the space. “No way.”
“We can surely make it work,” I said as I scooped her up. “You’ll just have to be on top.”