Kristin

 

I spent the next week increasingly tempted by Declan.

It sounds ridiculous—since I was a grown woman with a daughter, a career, and a lot more important things to think about than a hot guy.

But I still spent a lot of time thinking about this particular hot guy.

It would have been fine if he’d acted normal—or at least what I considered normal. But even when he wasn’t talking to me, even when he was all the way down the hall from me, it still felt like he was coming on to me.

I don’t know how the man did it—but even just glancing my way, he could somehow make me think about sex.

It was very distracting.

I hadn’t had sex since Nick died, so maybe that was part of it. I was a normal woman with a normal sexual appetite, and it hadn’t been fulfilled for a long time. That was probably the explanation for why I couldn’t stop thinking about Declan and why my mind kept slipping down very dangerous paths.

I wasn’t going to be stupid though. I had Lily, so I had to make good decisions—and starting a relationship with a man like Declan would never be a good decision.

I was reminding myself of this again—for the four hundredth time that week—as I walked toward the office before school to check my box.

Maybe I wouldn’t see Declan today. Maybe I could have a break from resisting his hot eyes and sexy voice.

No such luck.

“Good morning,” he said in that very sexy voice, as he fell in step with me in the hallway.

I took a deep breath and gave him a long-suffering look. “Good morning.” I might have sounded a little prim, but it was one of my only defenses for how he made me feel.

If only I hadn’t kissed him. It would have been so much easier if I hadn’t known what his hands, his lips, his body felt like against mine.

No taking it back now.

He was giving me that half smile and sidelong look, and I just knew he was thinking about kissing me. Or doing something more.

And I was really curious about the something more.

“You look very teacher-ly today,” he said, a faint edge of laughter in his tone.

I had to fight not to smile back since his expression was contagious. “What does that mean?” I knew what he meant since I was wearing one of my teacher dresses—khaki with a red belt and even an apple pin that Lily had given me on my last birthday. And something in his eyes told me he was thinking about what it would be like to take the dress off me.

“That means you look so neat and proper that I feel compelled to see how hot and wild you are underneath.”

I jerked to a stop and tried to look stern, although his words had conjured up a number of erotic visions that I really didn’t need first thing in the morning. “I’ve told you that’s never going to happen.”

“I’m not prepared to accept that. I won’t make another move on you unless you make it clear you want me to, but I’m not going to stop letting you know I’m interested.”

“You should accept my answer and move on.” I meant for my words to sound firm and convincing, but even I could tell that it was a half-hearted statement.

“You were the one who asked what I meant just now. What did you think I’d say?” He’d made no move closer to me and hadn’t raised a hand to touch me, but his eyes never left my face, and they seemed to caress me with knowing entitlement.

It left me breathless. The man must be some sort of sex god to do this to me without even touching me.

“Don’t act like this comes out of nowhere. You knew exactly what I was going to say just now. You wanted to hear it.”

The husky edge to his tone sent a hot shiver down my spine. I knew my cheeks were flushed, but there was nothing I could do about it. It was all I could do to cling to the strap of my bag so I wouldn’t reach out to touch him.

His body seemed to radiate with a sensual energy I could hardly resist as we both stood in the middle of the hall.

“My answer is still no,” I finally managed to say, my voice shakier than I wanted it to be.

He reined in the sexiness a touch as he gave me another dry smile. “Too bad.” He didn’t look discouraged or frustrated. He looked pleased with himself.

It made me very nervous.

I sucked in a deep breath as I made my way into the office, where Rose gave me a cheerful greeting. She greeted Declan as he came in after me, and—when she asked him how things were going—I was able to grab my mail and handouts out of my box and make a dash for the door.

“I’ll see you later,” Declan said, looking over his shoulder at me. The words, the tone, and his expression combined into a kind of promise.

My heart jumped quite irrationally, and I mumbled, “Yeah. See you later, Rose.”

I tried to relax as I returned to my classroom and tried to calm my mind of the day.

One thing was certain. There was no way I was going to let Declan keep me from doing a good job with my class. There were a few times of the day when it was okay to indulge in those fluttery thoughts, but right now was not one of them.

***

After school ended that day, I was heading outside to find Lily, who always lined up with her class until I came to collect her.

I was passing her classroom when I heard voices, so I paused to look inside.

Declan was leaning against his desk, and Lily was sitting on a chair, leaning down and holding her ankle.

I stopped short and watched since the sight was so unexpected.

“How is it feeling?” Declan asked. He was focused on the girl and hadn’t realized yet I was in the doorway.

“It hurts bad.”

“You twisted it. Sometimes that hurts bad. The ice will help. Jessileigh and Miss Marks will be back soon with it. But I don’t think your ankle is sprained or anything, so it will probably feel better soon.” His voice was calm and no-nonsense but surprisingly gentle.

“Okay.” She was frowning, but she wasn’t close to tears—so her ankle must not be hurting too badly. My initial swell of worry at my baby being hurt subsided.

I was about to step inside the classroom when Lily said, “Don’t tell Mommy.”

Declan blinked in obvious surprise. “Why shouldn’t I tell your Mommy?”

“I don’t want her to worry about me.”

“She’ll know your ankle isn’t hurt too bad, but it’s her job to worry about you.”

“She worries a lot.”

“How do you know she worries?”

“Because her forehead gets these little lines. Right here.” She gestured between her eyebrows. “When Daddy died, they were always there. Now only sometimes.”

“Well…” He cleared his throat, obviously at a loss for what to say. “She loves you. We sometimes worry about people we love.”

“Oh. Who do you worry about, Mr. Curtis?”

He opened his mouth and then shut it again, and there was the strangest expression on his face. Almost trapped. Almost guilty.

Lily seemed to instinctively know what his expression meant. She parted her lips and stared up at him with big blue eyes. “Don’t you have someone to love, Mr. Curtis?”

For some reason—for no good reason—my throat was suddenly so tight I could barely breathe. The wave of tenderness overwhelmed me, and it wasn’t just directed at Lily.

It was also directed at Declan. The tenderness I felt was for him too.

“Sure I do,” he said with just a little gruffness. “I have my mom and dad. And I have my buddies.”

“You don’t have a lady?” Lily’s characteristic earnest sweetness was evident, even in the quaint wording.

“No, I don’t.”

“Don’t you want one?”

“I… don’t know.” He looked slightly awkward, but Lily seemed oblivious of this fact.

I wasn’t though. He seemed vulnerable somehow. Emotionally vulnerable.

Which I hadn’t really thought was like him.

“What about a little girl?” she asked, still holding on to her ankle. “Do you think you might want to be a daddy?”

“I… Maybe.”

“Oh. My daddy is dead.”

“I know he is, Lily.”

“And my mommy worries a lot.”

“I know she does.”

“She’s a really good mommy.”

“I know she is.” Declan wasn’t looking at Lily now. He was looking at a spot across the room. But there was something on his face that made me absolutely sure that he was thinking about me.

And I just couldn’t take any more. My knot in my throat was almost unbearable, and my vision blurred over with emotion. There was no good reason for me to react like this from overhearing such a little conversation, but I felt close to both of them, like I was connected to both of them—in a way I hadn’t since Nick had died.

I escaped to the bathroom where I went into a stall and suppressed a few silent sobs. I wasn’t really crying. Just an overflow of emotion.

It was silly. No reason for it at all.

All the conversation meant was that Declan was a decent guy, and he was being kind to my daughter. And Lily liked and trusted him.

That was good. And that was all it meant.

***

I’d mostly convinced myself of that fact by the time I stopped by the office the next day at lunchtime to ask Rose about the schedule for the Christmas pageant so I knew exactly how many minutes my class had for their parts.

After she gave me a printout of the schedule, she gave me a gleefully curious look. “So what’s going on between you and Declan?” she asked in a low murmur. Chuck’s door was closed, and no one else was around, but she obviously didn’t want to be overheard.

“Nothing,” I said in an equally quiet voice. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

“Don’t give me that. Every day I sense more vibes between the two of you. This morning you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. The guy is obviously crazy about you. When he looks at you, it’s like he wants to eat you alive.” Rose didn’t sound jealous or catty. She seemed genuinely interested and excited.

Since her expression appeared authentic, I didn’t just shut her down. I murmured, “He might be interested, but nothing is going to come from it.”

“Why not? The man is sex on a stick.”

“I need more than sex, Rose.”

“For a real relationship, sure. But who says you need a real relationship with Declan?”

I blinked. “What are you talking about? I’m not going to do anything stupid that might make it difficult for Lily. You know that. I’m just not in the stage of life when I can be casual about relationships.”

“Does he want a relationship?”

“I don’t know. I doubt it. He seems more like a fling kind of guy.”

“So have a fling with him. For God’s sake, Kristin, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of deal. You just know that man knows his way around the bedroom. And really, what’s wrong with a fling? No strings. No messiness afterward. Just great sex with a man who knows what he’s doing.”

“I told you, I can’t be casual—”

“About relationships, I know. But why does it have to be a relationship. We’re talking about a fling here. You need some sort of rebound guy after Nick anyway, and this would be perfect. People do it all the time. It wouldn’t have any negative effects on Lily or anyone else. Just enjoy yourself. You deserve it, Kristin.”

For some reason she was making sense. A lot of sense. I had never been the type of girl who had flings. I had always been the one who believed in fairytales and happily ever afters. But I learned the hard way that life isn’t always like that. I did deserve to have some fun—to cut loose from this good-girl image I’d had my entire life.

It would be a one-time thing.

Maybe two.

I’d only been thinking in relationship terms about Declan, and obviously that would just be stupid. But a temporary physical thing. Hot sex with no strings. Was that really so out of the bounds of possibility?

I’m not sure I could have even let it cross my mind if I hadn’t overheard that little conversation the previous day. But after seeing him like that, he didn’t seem as distant and confident and untouchable as he had before.

I’d never be stupid enough to expect a relationship, but did that mean I couldn’t have anything?

Rose smiled. She was still speaking very softly. “You work so hard, and you’ve had such a hard time for the past couple of years. Why can’t you just have fun? For a little while. What would be so wrong about that?”

Nothing. Now that I was thinking about it, I couldn’t think of anything that would be wrong with that. Declan obviously wanted sex. I wanted it too.

And thanks to him and that kiss, I needed it.

Desperately.

We were both adults. Both willing. We could be honest with each other about it just being a temporary, no-strings thing.

Surely that wouldn’t hurt Lily. Surely I could have something for myself.

“I don’t know,” I said at last, suddenly feeling hot all over at the idea of sex with Declan being a real possibility. “I have to think about it.”

“Don’t think about too much. It defeats the purpose.” Rose was grinning as I walked away, and I tried to push the idea from my mind so I could focus on the rest of the day.

I didn’t entirely succeed.

***

This afternoon was Lily’s time with Nick’s parents, which seemed to be uncannily fortuitous. She would be gone until after dinner. I would be on my own.

I could do anything I wanted.

I said goodbye to her and made sure she got safely off with her grandparents. Then my eyes strayed to where Declan was walking back into the school building.

He’d been standing in the background again, just watching as the cars pulled up to pick up the children. I had no idea why he did that every day, but he did.

It wasn’t something I was going to figure out now. Right now I had to decide whether to go through with the crazy, naughty idea I couldn’t seem to shake.

I told myself I needed to think about it some more. I just wasn’t an impulsive person. I was a careful person. I didn’t make decisions without thinking them through enough.

I was reminding myself of all this as I made my way back to my classroom. At least it was supposed to be my classroom I was returning to.

Instead, I ended up standing in the doorway of Declan’s.

He was in there, bending over to pick up some books from the floor. His tight butt was very nicely displayed in that position.

I swallowed hard, feeling a deep rising of excitement and anxiety both. What was I doing here?

Was I really the kind of person who would do this?

He straightened up and must have realized I was there since he turned around abruptly. “Hey,” he said, sounding both pleased and surprised. “Don’t just stand in the doorway. Come on in.”

I stepped in, trying to control my breathing and think of something—anything—to say.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked. “I suppose Lily must have reported on me and you’re here to lecture me.” He didn’t sound annoyed the way he had a couple of weeks ago when I’d come to see him to find out why he wasn’t teaching very well. From what Lily said, he actually seemed to have gotten a little better, so maybe he was learning.

None of that was on my mind right now anyway. “No,” I managed to say. “I’m not here to yell at you.”

“Then why are you here?” Something had changed on his face, as if he’d seen something in mine. He stepped closer to me, his eyes lingering on my face, slipping down to my body before returning to meet my gaze again.

I swallowed hard. “I…”

He lifted a hand, like he would touch me, but then intentionally dropped it again. “You said your answer was no.”

“I know I did.” A hot excitement was shuddering through me, blurring my vision, roaring in my ears.

“Is your answer still no?” He eased a little closer until there was just a breath between us, but he still didn’t touch me.

I raised a hand and touched his chest. It felt like another person who was doing this thing. I could hardly believe it was me. “No. I changed my mind.”

I heard a quick intake of breath and felt his body tense. “You changed your mind about what, Kristin?” His voice was careful, and it felt like he was holding himself back.

I didn’t want him to hold back anymore. I wanted him to let go. “It has to just be a no-strings kind of thing. Just a fling. Nothing messy.”

I couldn’t believe these words were actually coming out of my mouth. I almost didn’t recognize myself anymore. But maybe that was a good thing.

“I’m all for no mess. Why did you change your mind?”

“I was only thinking relationship, and I can’t be in a relationship with you. But sex…” I took a shaky breath and smiled. “I can do that.”

He made a choked sound and cupped my face with his hand, and his eyes went all hot.

“Lily is with her grandparents this afternoon,” I added.

“Excellent timing.” He leaned forward, but before he kissed me, he dropped his hand again and straightened up. “We sure as hell can’t do this here.”

“I know. Where should we go?”

“We can go to my place. I’m not far,” he said, walking over to his desk to collect his stuff.

“Okay. Let me grab my bag, and I’ll follow you over there.”

And that was it. We were evidently doing this.

We were getting together for sex in the middle of the afternoon.

I’d never realized I was that kind of person before, and I was strangely excited that I was.

***

Declan had a suite at one of those extended-stay places. I thought it was a little strange. He might be new to town, but surely he’d want a more long-term living arrangement. The thought flickered through my mind as I parked next to him and then got out of my car, but after taking one look at his face, the idea disappeared completely.

He must be just as excited as I was if his expression was anything to go by.

He took my hand and walked quickly into the building and then down the hallway to his door.

As soon as he’d unlocked it, he grabbed me and pulled me in, pressing me back against the wall as he kicked the door shut.

Before I could even open my mouth to say a word, he was kissing me.

His kiss was hot and urgent and hungry, and I was immediately overwhelmed by it. My mouth opened to his as he pushed his body against mine and slid one of his hands down to cup my bottom.

My blood was pulsing intensely as our tongues tangled and dueled, as I reached up to twine my arms around his neck.

“Damn, you’re gorgeous,” he murmured, breaking the kiss briefly to reposition our bodies slightly. He was still holding me trapped against the wall, and I had no complaints in the world. “I’ve been thinking about doing this since the day I met you.”

“Me too,” I admitted, gasping as he unbuttoned my dress enough to slide his hand inside to cup my breast over my bra.

I arched against the wall as he fondled me and then dragged his head down into another kiss.

As we kissed, I could feel a pressure of arousal growing inside me until I was raising one leg to try to wrap it around his. This move was impeded by my skirt, and I groaned in frustration as the erotic urgency built inside me with no relief.

“Fuck,” he gasped, breaking the kiss to mouth a line of kisses down my throat. “I can’t remember the last time I was this turned on.”

I could feel it in his body that he meant it. The hard bulge of his erection was pushing into my belly, and I loved the feel of it—that I could turn this man on so much. “Me too,” I gasped, clawing at his shirt and trying once again to raise my leg.

This time Declan bunched up my skirt enough for me to wrap my leg around him and moaned as the position let me rub myself against his thigh.

“Damn, you’re so hot.” His voice was rough and low. “I knew you’d be hot like this.”

“Please. I can’t wait much longer.” I didn’t know what had gotten into me. I was never out of control this way. Never so vocal about what I wanted.

He stifled a moan and kissed me again. Then he kissed his way down to my breasts, making me cry out in pleasure as he nipped at one of my nipples. He didn’t spend too long on them though. Instead, he ended up on his knees in front of me, pushing up my skirt.

I was panting desperately, staring down at this handsome, sexy man on his knees before me. I knew what he was going to do, and I could barely hold myself upright as he kissed his way up one of my thighs toward my panties.

My arousal was hot and wet, and soon he’d slid my panties down to bare it to his sight.

“Spread your legs, Kristin,” he rasped as his mouth reached my center. His breath was hot, and it felt incredibly good. Arousing.

I adjusted my stance to make more room for him, sprawled against the wall, trying to keep my knees from buckling as he parted my flesh with his fingers and then started to work me over with his lips and tongue.

It felt so good, and I was so aroused I couldn’t keep quiet. I clung to his head, holding it in position as he pleasured me.

He knew what he was doing. His touch was skillful and urgent both. I was making silly sounds of pleasure as an orgasm grew inside me, and I couldn’t keep my hips from rocking, trying to feel even more.

I couldn’t believe this was me—against the wall in a strange room with Declan on his knees, between my legs. It was so unexpected—and so overwhelming—that it made the physical sensations even more powerful.

I was crying out loudly, fisting both hands in his hair and with one leg hooked over his shoulder as my climax finally broke. The sensations filled me, took all of me, until I was left breathless and limp in their wake.

I wouldn’t have been able to stay on my feet if Declan hadn’t unhooked my leg and then held me as he stood up. He was flushed and panting, just like I was, but he still looked like he was on the edge of losing it.

I was on the edge of falling into a sated heap on the floor. I gasped against his chest as both his arms went around me. “Thank you,” I managed to say.

“You’re welcome.” He gave me a light kiss, and I could sense how much urgency he was now reining in.

I slid my hand down to the bulge at the front of his pants. “Now maybe we can do a little something for you.”