Declan

 

It’s safe to say that I was an arrogant son of a bitch most of the time. I took what I wanted, when I wanted it, and I was good at what I did—no matter what it was. Some would call me selfish. Some would comment on how huge my ego was. I had enough confidence for three men.

Here I was after messing up the sweet girl next door, and she looked hotter than anything I’d ever seen. Her dress was bunched up to her waist, and her panties were gone, and she was panting after an orgasm that I gave her. There was a primal part of me that wanted to pound my chest with pride at what I’d just done.

I made the good girl misbehave in the sexiest of ways.

Right now Kristin’s hand was stroking my arousal through my pants, and as much as I was enjoying it—hell, who am I kidding, I was loving it—I was nervous.

Actually, I was as nervous as a virgin on prom night.

That was not what I was expecting to feel at all.

I knew that she hadn’t been with anyone since her husband died, and I had a pretty good feeling that she hadn’t dated much—if at all—before she married him. That was a lot of pressure on me.

Normally, with the women I get involved with, I was not overly concerned about my performance. I’d been told more than enough times that I was good in bed, and I knew how to give a woman as many orgasms as she could stand. But Kristin? I was torn about what to do.

I didn’t want to be aggressive with her and scare her off. Even though I was about ready to burst from the touch of her hand—and she hadn’t even gotten to the skin-on-skin contact yet. I could go slow and gentle—but I didn’t know if I was capable of that right now. I’d wanted her for what seemed like forever, and all I wanted was to get us both naked and be buried inside her.

“You’re thinking awful hard over there,” she said as she leaned in and ran her tongue across my lips.

I was in deep trouble.

I wanted this to be good for her. I wanted this to be something that she wasn’t going to regret.

I certainly didn’t want a repeat of her running away from me like she had after we kissed in the parking lot.

“I won’t break,” she whispered.

And all bets were off.

Quickly I removed her hand from the front of my pants and pinned her arms above her head against the wall. I dove in and kissed her, devoured her. She whimpered against my mouth, and I swallowed the sound.

With one hand holding her in place, I let my other hand begin to roam her body.

And what a body it was.

She was soft and curvy and so responsive to my touch that I was slowly going insane. Her dress was awkwardly bunched up, and the only thought going through my brain was that I had to get it off her. I had to get her naked. I had to see if she was as soft all over as I had imagined.

In a flash, I released her arms and cupped her bottom. “Wrap your legs around me,” I growled, and she immediately complied. I walked us over to the bed and laid her down. With her hair splayed out against the comforter and her dress a tangled mess around her middle, she was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

I pulled my shirt off and tossed it to the floor and kicked off my shoes. “Take your dress off.”

Kristin’s eyes went wide for a moment, and I cursed myself. Maybe I was pushing her too far, too fast. I was just about to apologize, to lean down and help her undress when she came to her feet in front of me. With those beautiful eyes never leaving mine, she unbuttoned, unbelted, and shimmied out of her dress.

And my heart just about stopped.

She was perfect. Kristin Andrews was my every fantasy come to life. It was like having my own centerfold model right in front of me.

I was never going to be able to look at her in one of her prim teacher dresses the same way again.

Standing there in scraps of white lace, she was a dream.

The white lace really played into the whole good-girl fantasy I’d built up of her in my head. And now that she was standing here in front of me in the flesh, I was afraid to even blink. My hands were actually shaking as I slowly reached out to touch her. My fingers skimmed over her face, her throat, her shoulders, her breasts.

“Declan,” she sighed, and I replaced my hands with my mouth. I teased and suckled her through her bra until she was shaking and panting and trying to pull me down on the bed with her.

It would have been so easy to just follow her down, kick my pants off, and give us what we both wanted, but I wanted to savor this. I wanted to make it right for her. I know that we said that this was just… casual… but right now it felt like a hell of a lot more. I had no idea how much time we had—when she’d have to get back to Lily—but I needed this to be right. To be perfect.

To be everything.

Kristin pulled free of my arms and sat down on the edge of the bed and then scooted back until her head was on the pillows. She opened her arms to me, and I felt so damn humbled that I couldn’t move for a minute. This beautiful, brave woman wanted me.

Me.

My conscience was pulling at me to do the right thing—be careful with her—and if I couldn’t, to just walk away.

Fuck my conscience.

She licked her lips as her sensual gaze met mine, and I saw in those eyes that she wanted this just as badly as I did.

“You’re too far away,” she whispered.

Now. It had to be now. Without breaking eye contact, I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and took a condom out. Kristin arched a brow at me, and I smiled wickedly at her. “It pays to be prepared.”

And then my pants, my socks, my boxer briefs were gone and I was slowly covering her body with mine. The skin-on-skin contact was intense—we both sighed at it—and then I was kissing her again as if my life depended on it.

She clung to me, her nails raked down my back, and I was damn near shaking with anticipation. I was just about to raise my head to look at her when she wrapped her legs around my waist, and it felt… perfect.

Somehow I managed to get that sexy-as-hell bra off her and tossed it to the floor to join where I’d dropped her panties earlier. I pulled back long enough to roll the condom on, and I saw a wide range of emotions cross her face—anticipation, desire… and uncertainty.

That one stopped me dead in my tracks. “It’s not too late to change your mind,” I said softly, even though my body wasn’t quite on board with that option.

She shook her head. “No. I want this. I want… you.”

Honestly, I should have just listened to her words. But I couldn’t. Instead, I studied her face—her beautiful face—until she started squirm. Reaching up, I caressed her cheek. “Kristin, I want you to be sure. I don’t want you having any regrets.”

And that last comment was as much for her as it was for me.

Like I said, I don’t think I could stand it if she ran away again and looked at me with the same aversion she had after the parking lot incident. Not only did that mess with my head, but it messed with my heart in a way nothing ever had before.

Her hands were roaming over my shoulders, my chest. Then she reached around and grabbed my ass and gently pulled me toward her—with a very sexy smile on her face.

And I knew right then and there that I would never tire of looking at her.

This wasn’t casual.

This wasn’t just sex.

“Declan,” she moaned, arching up toward me.

And then I was slowly sinking into her, inch by inch. She sighed. She purred. She all but destroyed me. Her legs wrapped around me again, and I waited a minute for her to adjust to me. I kissed her gently on her lips, her eyes. “Tell me if I do something that you don’t like.”

Reaching up, she cupped my face in her hands. “I don’t like that you’re not moving.”

It was like waving the checkered flag in my face. My hands found hers and pinned her arms above her head as I began to move. Slowly. “Like this?”

She shook her head.

I rocked a little harder into her, a little faster. “How about this?”

She shook her head again and seemed to be getting lost in the same sensations I was feeling.

“Tell me,” I urged, unable to stop myself from moving harder and faster.

“Like that,” she whispered. “Hard. I need it harder.”

I gave her exactly what she wanted—what we both wanted—and soon she was writhing beneath me, chanting my name. “Please!” she said. And then she was pulling her hands free of mind and pulling me closer as she came—hard. Her tight channel clenching around me and her body wrapped around me, it was like nothing I had ever felt before.

She consumed me until it was impossible to tell where one of us ended and the other began.

“I can’t hold back,” I said hoarsely. “I need… I need to…”

“Yes,” she cried. “Do it, Declan! Now!”

My orgasm hit me hard and fast—too fast for my liking. Over and over, my body shuddered and shook as it felt like everything I had emptied into Kristin.

Our breathing was heavy as I rested my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry,” I said when I was finally able to breathe.

“For what?”

“I wanted to go slow with you. I wanted this to last longer.” I raised my head and looked down into her eyes. “I wanted it to be perfect for you.”

I realized what I was saying and suddenly panicked. We said this was a fling—possibly only a onetime thing. Well, that’s what she said she wanted it to be. I never actually agreed to that. At the time, it seemed safe. It meant I’d finally get to feel her, taste her, make her mine. But now? It was a completely different story, and I was thinking in terms I’d never thought of before. Why was I getting so… I don’t know… emotional about it?

It was more than a little unnerving.

Kristin smiled slowly at me. “It was perfect. Exactly what I wanted.” She shifted slightly beneath me, and I gathered her into my arms as I rolled off her and tucked her into my side.

A million thoughts raced through my head—was she all right? Did she regret what we’d just done? Was she going to get up and get dressed and leave? Was this it? Was she disappointed in the whole experience and ready to go back to being co-workers and nothing else? Part of me wanted to know, but the other part was afraid of her answer.

“You’re doing it again,” she said.

“What?”

“Thinking too hard.” She raised her head and looked at me, uncertainty written all over her face. “It’s… it’s been a long time for me. I’m sorry if I wasn’t…”

I placed a finger over her lips to immediately silence her. How could she possibly be doubting herself? “There is nothing that you have to apologize to me for.” My hands skimmed her face. “You were better than my fantasies.”

Her eyes went wide. “Really?”

I nodded. “Really. And I’ve had some pretty vivid fantasies about you.”

She blushed. “I… I’ve thought about you too.”

I couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah?”

She nodded. And blushed. That gave me a pretty good idea that her thoughts weren’t of the G-rated variety.

“Tell me,” I urged, my voice a little gruff.

Kristin ducked her head, and I could see her blushing. Unable to help myself, I tucked a finger under her chin and gently urged her to look at me. “Want me to tell you about mine first?”

She nodded.

My hand skimmed from her chin around to her nape and gently anchored there. “I thought about you wearing one of your prim and proper dresses—like the one you wore today—and stripping you out of it.”

The shy smile she gave me at that admission told me she liked what she was hearing.

“I kind of like the idea of taking you from that sweet and innocent look to naked and panting my name,” I said as I pulled her head down for a kiss. I meant to only give her a soft kiss, but she wasn’t having that.

I kind of loved how she had a bit of a wild side and that I was the only one who was getting to see it.

When she lifted her head, she asked, “What else?”

“I think it’s your turn to tell me what you’ve been thinking.”

But she shook her head. She wasn’t ready to.

Which was fine. I had no problem talking about all the naughty things I’d been thinking. With every scenario I described for her, her blush deepened and her breath quickened. When I mentioned how I envisioned taking her in one of the supply closets at school, she leaned down and silenced me with a kiss that was hot and wet and full of promise. And when we both came up for air, she was smiling.

Really smiling.

In that moment, I felt like I was on top of the world. “Kristin… it’s not just—” I stopped, sort of faltered with my words. “I mean, I don’t just think of you like this.” Oh God. She’s going to think I’m an idiot. “I like talking with you, spending time with you. Does that make sense?”

In my entire life, well, actually since I began dating at the age of thirteen, I never talked—or felt—like this with a woman. This was more than physical, more than just sex, and I wanted—needed—her to know that.

Slowly Kristin nodded. “I don’t think…”

I knew what was coming. Feared it. I placed a finger over her lips again to stop it. “Don’t,” I said softly. “I don’t want you to make up any excuses for how you feel. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just wanted you to know… I wanted to be honest with you.”

“Declan,” she whispered as her eyes scanned my face, “being with you… like this or even just around school, it… it scares me a little.”

“I’m sorry if I came on too strong.”

“No, no, it’s not that,” she said and then chuckled. “Although you do get points for persistence.” She paused, and her expression turned serious. “You bring out a side of me that I never knew existed. You’ve brought these… feelings out of me that I thought were gone.” Her hand reached out and skimmed down my chest, her eyes following the progress before meeting mine again. “Sometimes just thinking of you makes me ache with need.”

And just like that I was hard again. “I know you don’t have a lot of time but…”

“It’s okay,” she interrupted. “I want you again too.”

We kissed, and I knew that this time we’d go slowly. We’d explore.

And I also knew that this one afternoon wasn’t going to be enough.

***

I was distracted to say the least on Monday when we were back at school. I had already known that we wouldn’t see each other over the weekend, but once I walked into the building Monday morning, all I could think about was seeing Kristin.

Totally out of character for me.

By all accounts and purposes, I should have been done. I had pursued, I had captured, and I’d rocked both our worlds. But for some reason it wasn’t enough. I wanted more. I knew it Friday, but I thought once the sexual haze was over and Kristin left my hotel room, that I would get my head together and realize that it was just sex.

Just a fling.

Even in the midst of it, I was telling myself it was more. But later on when I was alone, I tried to convince myself I was just caught up in the moment. That there was no way I was falling that hard, that fast. No way. So I tried to make light of it in my mind the next day, like it was no big deal.

That I could meet her on her terms and keep this as just physical. Just sex.

Just a fling.

My stomach sank when I realized it was more than that. Much, much more than that. Shit.

I lingered at the front office in hopes of running into her. I chatted with Rose and spent a few minutes with Chuck when Kristin finally walked in. She blushed furiously when she spotted me and wouldn’t look at me directly.

Uh-oh.

I excused myself and followed her when she walked out the door. “Hey,” I said, jogging to catch up with her. “How was your weekend?”

“Fine. It… it was fine.”

My eyes narrowed a little bit as I fell in step beside her. “That’s good. How’s Lily? Did she have fun with her grandparents?”

She nodded.

I quickly maneuvered so I was in front of her, and she walked right into me. Her eyes were huge as she looked up at me. “What’s going on?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” I looked around to make sure no one was near us. “You’re giving me the cold shoulder, and I don’t know why.”

“You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I?”

She rolled her eyes. “Look, it’s Monday. I’ve got a busy day. We have to start the kids rehearsing for the Christmas pageant, and I’ve got to focus on that.”

I might have believed her if she had looked at me while she spoke. I tucked a finger under her chin and forced her to look at me. “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay,” I said softly.

“I… I’m fine,” she said. “I’m just not comfortable… with this.”

“With what? Knowing that I’d like nothing more than to drag you into my classroom, lock the door, and fuck you senseless up against the wall?” My words were whispered in her ear, and she slowly relaxed against me.

She nodded. “I’d go willingly if I thought we wouldn’t get caught.”

I chuckled. “Now I’m not comfortable.” She looked up at me, and I pulled her close—close enough so she could feel my erection against her belly. Her mouth formed a perfect O, and I smiled. “God, I want to kiss you right now.”

“We can’t.”

“I know.” That didn’t make it any better. “Promise me something?”

“What?”

“That Friday wasn’t it. That it wasn’t a one-time thing?” Who the hell was I? Was I seriously asking her for more? Me? The guy who never was the one who looked for more than a woman was willing to give?

“I… I don’t know, Declan. I’ve got a lot on my plate, and I have Lily to consider.”

“Promise me you’ll think about it then.”

Her eyes looked a little uncertain when they met mine. “I will.”

And then I stepped aside and let her go.

For now.

***

Christmas pageants are their own personal form of hell.

This was a fairly small school, but you still had over a hundred kids that you had to corral into the auditorium and figure out who needed to stand where and when and then how to move everyone without it being too distracting.

I wish my drill sergeant was here. He’d know how to get those kids to listen and stay in their spots. It was exhausting.

My class was going to be sitting next to Kristin’s class, but right now no one was sitting. The kids took this opportunity to start to run around like little hellions. I whistled loudly for my kids to line up so I could get a head count and get them seated.

“Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two,” I counted and felt a sense of panic. Someone was missing. No, two someone’s were missing. Quickly I started moving the kids along into their rows and mentally checking my class list to figure out who wasn’t there.

My stomach sank.

Jessileigh.

Shit! I had turned my back for a minute to see what was going on up on the stage and listening to Mrs. Crandall, the music director, give us all instructions, and now Jessileigh was missing.

“Everyone needs to stay in their seats. Understand?” I admonished my class and then began to frantically scan all the rows for Jessileigh.

“Declan? Is everything all right?” Kristin asked worriedly. She was standing beside me, and I’d never heard her approach.

“No,” I snapped. “One of my kids isn’t here. Actually, two of them…” I kept scanning the area. It shouldn’t be this hard to keep track of these kids! How could I have let her out of my sight? She was my responsibility!

“It’s okay. It’s easy for you to lose sight of them in a situation like this. I’m sure…”

“You don’t get it!” I said, unable to hide my frustration. “They are my responsibility. It’s up to me to keep them safe, and if I don’t do that, someone will get hurt!”

She took a step back and studied me.

“Jessileigh!” I called out.

“Yes, Mr. Curtis?”

My head snapped around as Jessileigh—and Lily—popped up behind the back row of seats. I stormed toward them and took a minute to rein myself in. “Are you supposed to be back here by yourselves, or are you supposed to stay with the group?”

“With the group,” they both mumbled.

Taking each of them by the hand, I led them to our section and sat them on the end where I could keep an eye on them.

“Declan?”

Shit. Kristin was standing right there, questions written all over her face.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I didn’t want to be too far away from the kids, so I walked back a couple of rows but made sure I was facing them. Watching them. “What?” I snapped, my heart still racing at the thought of what could have happened.

“What just happened back there?”

“They wandered off and were hiding. I told them to stay with the group.”

She shook her head. “It’s more than that. You said that someone would get hurt. What’s going on?”

A scrubbed a weary hand over my face and knew that she had a right to know what was going on. “Look,” I began and knew that this had the potential to fuck things up royally between us. “What I’m about to tell you cannot go any further than between you and me. Do you understand?”

She nodded, her expression more than a little wary.

“I’m not a teacher…”

“I knew it!”

“Yeah, great. Save your pat on the back, Nancy Drew, until I’m done,” I grumbled. “Anyway, I’m… I’m a bodyguard. Jessileigh’s my client.”

Kristin looked at me and then Jess and then back again. “I… I don’t understand.”

“Her parents are in a bitter custody battle, and right now there’s a very real possibility that her mother is going to try to snatch her up and take her away. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“But she’s her mother!”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. She’s unstable, and there’s been allegations of abuse.”

“Maybe they’re untrue,” she said defensively.

I shook my head again. “It’s been witnessed. And documented. Hell, she’s all but admitted that if given the opportunity, she’d snatch the kid up just to piss her ex off. She’s not allowed unsupervised visits with Jessileigh, but she’s threatened to take her repeatedly. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen. I’m here to protect her.”

She went silent for a long moment. “So… so do you do this sort of thing a lot? Protect kids?”

“No. Jess is the first child client I’ve had. Normally it’s a bit more… intense.”

“You mean dangerous.”

“Yes.” I stared her down and watched her face. I knew the instant that it all registered with her and when she started to think of a way out of what we had begun. I could read her like a book.

“I see.”

“No, you don’t.” I had to do something, say something quick. “Not all cases are dangerous,” I said a little too defensively. “I have three partners and we trade off and…”

Looking around the auditorium, I could see her looking for an escape. “I… I can’t deal with this right now, Declan. It’s all just a little too much.”

I knew it would be. “You can ask me anything you want about my job, Kristin, and I’ll answer you. But you need to keep this to yourself. No one—other than Chuck—knows why I’m really here. I need to know that you’re not going to freak out and say something.”

She shook her head. “I won’t.” She looked over her shoulder toward Lily and Jessileigh. “Is she all right?”

“She’s going to be,” I said quietly. “I’ll make sure of it. And Lily is perfectly safe too. I don’t want you to worry about that.”

With a curt nod, she turned and walked away, and I had a sinking feeling that this subject was far from over.

But we possibly were.