The Best Place I’ve Ever Been
Sutton
She said she got me. I couldn’t figure out why she wanted me, but I wasn’t about to question my good fortune.
The last couple of days had been almost as hard as waking up in the hospital. I could still feel the way the way the memories of what happened to her cutting me in half. The way everyone in town didn’t bother to hide their suspicion or the fact they really thought I was capable of murder hurt in ways I wasn’t prepared for. As always, Cy was the golden boy, the prodigal son. Lane was the jokester, the one everyone loved and wanted to hang out with. Then, there was me . . . the guy they actually believed had it in him to harm his child’s mother. It was more proof that I was out of step in my own life, that I didn’t fit in in the place where I had always been. My brothers were enraged on my behalf; Cy had threatened to pull contracts with several local vendors over the gossip and gleeful chatter. I told him not to worry about it, as long as we could keep Daye away from the worst of it, I didn’t care what they were saying about me. But then my daughter had reached her breaking point and lashed out. I felt like I was losing control of everything again and all I wanted was a quiet minute to think. Since I couldn’t silence the constant refrain of ruin in my head, I figured the only option was a stiff drink.
Little did I know another option was going to blow all the others out of the water.
She was perfect, even in the places where she wasn’t. All that smooth, golden skin was a much better distraction than the spilled whiskey. Her breasts lifted as she sucked in a breath and my gaze caught on the pointed tips. There was a flush on her chest under the scars and her pulse was fluttering like a trapped bird at the base of her elegant neck. Her dark hair slithered across her bare shoulders and chest. I had to fight the urge to push it out of the way so it didn’t cover my view of her rosy nipples. The way her eyes seemed to glow like the embers of a dying fire made me feel warm, even in the chill of the night. Her hands drifted aimlessly across my skin as they made their way down across my stomach toward the top of my jeans, leaving heat and anticipation in their wake. She was petting me, soothing me like I was a wild animal.
It was working.
The berating voices in my head went quiet and all I could hear was the sound of our breathing and the thud of my heart. I heard the sound of my zipper as she lowered it and the muffled groan that ripped out of my chest when my cock sprang free and contacted with her waiting hands. She pushed the denim out of the way so that it was resting below my ass. The damp tip had already left a wet mark on her lower stomach when she’d stepped into me. The shiny spot on her bronze skin made me even harder than I already was. Her soft hands stroking up and down the shaft as her thumb circled the leaking head, making everything slippery and silken, caused me to suck in a breath so hard it hurt.
I wanted to touch her. I wanted to grab her and flip our positions so she was the one pressed up against the table with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide. I longed to fit myself between her long, sexy legs and bury myself in her sweet center until nothing existed but pleasure and satisfaction. I wished things were different and I was a man who deserved the kind of woman who would do whatever it took to keep him from making harmful choices. But I wasn’t.
Emrys might think she wanted me, but I knew better. Once she had me, all I was going to do was let her down.
I caught the hand that was sliding up and down my dick and shivered as her other one traced the blond trail of hair underneath my belly button. I closed my eyes and fought the primal instinct to grope her, mark her, the need to climb all over her and get so far inside her there was no way anyone else could find me. I’d wanted to fuck her from the get-go. What I wanted now went so much deeper than that. I wanted to let her help me. I could let her make me better.
I curled my hands around her naked back and gave her a tug so that she was pulled flush against my chest. We were scar to scar, memory to memory. All our best and worst parts perfectly aligned. I felt the points of her nipples drag across my skin and groaned quietly as my rigid flesh was trapped between us, her knuckles digging into my stomach as I wrapped her in a hug that was tight enough to make her squeak.
“I didn’t hurt Alexa. I wouldn’t.” The words wrenched out of me as she lifted her eyes to mine. “Watching those men touch you . . .” I shook my head and swallowed hard. “It changed me, Em. It broke something inside of me. Not being able to help you, not being able to stop them, that fucking killed me. It made me feel like I was less of a man. It made me question my ability to protect my daughter. I’ve never felt so helpless or so lost. When I woke up at the hospital and I saw you, saw all those bandages and what they did to your face,” I squeezed her again and dropped my forehead so it was touching hers. “I could never do anything to hurt a woman like that. Not before, and definitely not after.”
My chest rose and fell against hers as she let go of my dick and moved so her arms were wrapped around my waist. She put her lips at my throat and kissed the pulse that was jumping in time to my heart.
“You don’t get to carry the weight of that, Sutton. I was the one who needed to stop that day and take a break. I was the one who couldn’t keep it together. We got caught because of me and the only reason I was injured was because those men were monsters. That had nothing to do with you. You took a bullet for me. You risked everything trying to save me. I know you have nothing to do with what happened to Alexa. I knew that before you almost died trying to save me. You are a good man, Sutton Warner. And you’re a good dad. You didn’t give up when things got tough. You pushed through.”
I snorted and leaned my head to the side as her lips traveled up the side of my neck. I moved my hands down her spine until they rested on the curve of her ass. She took a step closer to me and my cock lurched at the contact. Pre-cum had the hard skin sliding across hers in an erotic glide that made us both shiver. It was the softest, quietest seduction I’d ever been a part of, but I felt it all the way down to the bottom of my soul. My skin prickled with electric arousal everywhere we touched and tension coiled tightly at the base of my spine as desire and longing worked through my blood.
“We’re standing a foot away from the evidence of how well I handle tough things, Em. That day, we were so close to the water headed back to the ranch because it was the easiest route to travel. I knew that, but it was a risk I decided to take even knowing it put us in danger. That wasn’t on you. We could have gone over the mountain, they never would have been able to follow, but I was worried about Cy and Lane. I put them before you. I would have tossed back that entire flask if you hadn’t shown up, because those are the kinds of choices I make. I was hiding from the world and working on a nasty addiction to painkillers a few weeks ago. All of that makes me selfish and careless. Neither of those things make me a good dad. Nothing I’ve done as of late makes me a good man.” I leaned forward and brushed my lips across her forehead; the new position put my cock right at the apex of her thighs. If she lifted a little, if she pressed up on her toes, my seeping tip would be right against her wet opening. I could feel her body’s reaction to being so close to me. I could feel the flutter of her folds as she rubbed up against the underside of my erection. “You should spend your time trying to find someone better than me, Em. Don’t give any more of yourself to someone who needs you to put him back together. Find someone who’s whole and can help you find the pieces you’re missing. Find the guy you want to fight for.”
She cocked her head to the side and shifted her hold on me so that her arms were wrapped around my shoulders. Before I could argue with her, she had a knee on the wooden table next to my hip and her waist was level with mine. My cock was pressed firmly against her soft center and I couldn’t resist bucking my hips to pull my heavy flesh through the liquid heat hidden in those velvety folds. She made a whimpering noise as she levered herself up until we were almost eye level. I loved that hers looked like expensive whiskey because she was worth so much more than the cheap fix she’d dumped on the ground. She was priceless, but also as lost as me. I could see the way she was searching for something, seeking more, the same way I was.
“I like all your pieces, Sutton. I keep finding new ones to add to the collection. You keep dropping them and I keep picking them up. Once I have them all, I’m going to give them back to you and you can put them all together whichever way you want. They don’t have to fit the way they did before. You can shape yourself into someone else. Someone who almost died. Someone who knows exactly what they want and where they want to be.” She shifted again and I swore under my breath. Those long-ass legs of hers gave her leverage a shorter woman wouldn’t have. The tip of my cock hit her entrance as she lifted up on her toes, and I felt her body flutter around my hardness. I knew I should send her away, to tell her this wasn’t going to get us anywhere, but I didn’t. Instead, I dropped a sucking kiss on the curve where her neck met her shoulder and used my teeth to leave a mark. I used my hold on her ass to heft her up as her other knee landed on the table, straddling me.
Our eyes met and her mouth dropped open in a little O of surprised pleasure as the weight of her body pulled her the rest of the way down the erection. Her head dropped back and her long hair hit the back of my hands. I kissed the curve of her jaw and held her hips as she started to rock up and down on my straining shaft.
I leaned back against the wooden table, the edge digging into my ass, but there was no way in hell I was going to stop what was happening. She was fucking herself against me like her life depended on it. I gritted my teeth as each drop of her hips sent sharp bursts of desire shooting through my lower stomach. The wet sounds of her body taking mine was making my head spin and I knew my fingers were pressing into her hips hard enough to leave bruises each time I lifted her up and let her drop.
I kissed my way across her chest and used my nose to find the stiff peak of her nipple where it was hidden behind her hair. I roughed up the delicate surface with the edge of my teeth and soothed the sting with a swirl of my tongue. She made a strangled noise low in her throat at the bite, and I felt her body heat and quicken where we were joined. I pulled back so I could watch my hard, thick flesh part her swollen, slippery center. I couldn’t remember ever being so furiously aroused before. I could feel every flutter of pleasure and every quiver of desire. She was letting out quiet, breathy pants and her hooded eyes were trained on mine.
I sighed in satisfaction as everything that I’d been carrying around for so long lifted for a fraction of a second. All that mattered was the woman in my arms and the things we were doing to one another. All those empty places inside of me where regret echoed hollow and loud were now filled with the sounds she was making and the noise of our bodies as we slid against one another. She was all I could focus on, and I felt like I was holding the answer to every question I had ever asked. She made so much sense, riding me, blowing my mind, tugging me into a place where I felt weightless and free.
I braced my forearm under her undulating ass so I could free up one hand. I lifted my eyebrows at her and told her, “I’ve seen you ride. You know to keep a steady rhythm. Get a hand free so you can play with your tits. I wanna feel you come apart.”
I brushed my fingers across the curve of her hip, tracing the path where her legs were bent around my waist. Her eyebrows lifted higher than mine and her teeth dug into her plump bottom lip. She shivered in my hold but obeyed my command. She shook her head a little so that her hair shifted out of the way and dragged her palm across my shoulders, down over my chest and over my nipple. I growled at her, which got me a lopsided grin. The noise I was making turned into something dark and hungry when her long fingers did as I asked and twisted around the pointed peak. She whimpered and her hips kicked even harder against mine. My dick throbbed painfully and I could feel that telltale tingle at the base of my spine that told me I couldn’t take much more.
I hadn’t had sex in months. My dick wasn’t even working right before she popped back up. I was amazed I’d lasted this long, but the truth was I wanted to go at her all night. I wanted this memory of her and how she felt, how she sounded, and tasted, the way she looked, to replace all the other ones I had. I wanted all this pleasure to push all the pain away that she and I shared.
I used my thumb to trace the point where she was grinding against me. I felt how hot my cock was, felt how wide I had her spread open. Her body was tight around mine, squeezing and sucking in the most delightful way. She was wet against my fingers and I could feel how swollen and eager her little clit was. She was pressing down and rotating her hips, mindlessly searching for relief. I gave the tiny bundle of nerves a sweep with my fingers and felt her whole body vibrate at the contact. She mumbled my name and I watched as her fingers tightened on her pink nipple. The motion made me swear and I spread my legs a little wider to push her legs farther apart. She gasped and her eyes flew to mine as I grinned at her.
I wasn’t going to last much longer so I needed to get her there before I blew my load and any shot at proving to her I was worth all the time and effort she was putting into rehabilitating me.
Her head fell back again and her eyes slid closed as she picked up speed to match the way my fingers were swirling around her clit. I alternated between tugging and softly stroking at the distended nub. She quivered all over when my fingers started circling lightly and teasingly with my thumb. She was copying my movements, shifting between each breast. I could feel the way her pussy was clenching and pulsing around my cock, and with each breath she took, she burned hotter and got wetter. Her legs stiffened around my hips, her breath shuddered as she whispered my name, and a red stain splashed across her high cheekbones. She peeled her eyes opened and locked on mine as she suddenly went liquid and pliant above me. I felt the rush of her completion, groaned as her body pulled and tugged at mine. Her orgasm was a ripple rather than a wave, but it didn’t miss a single part of her body. I felt the quiver turn to a full body shake as she sighed and slumped forward so that I was holding her up. My dick wanted to high-five that we got her off first, but it also wanted to kill me because it was still rock hard and trapped inside the delicate confines of her body.
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine. I returned the kiss on a sigh and gritted my teeth as she pulled back so she looked down at the place where we were still joined. Her eyebrows twitched and her mouth pursed into a bow of confusion. I could see her gearing up to ask what was wrong with me but before she could, before she blamed herself for something else that wasn’t her fault, I lifted her off me and reversed our positions.
“Put your hands on the table.” My voice was gruff and the words were ground out. My brain had gone haywire, focused only on getting inside her and getting off. My dick felt like it would never be soft again and the sight of her toned, perfectly shaped ass had liquid pearling up and leaking all over the place. It was gonna be a miracle if I didn’t blow as soon as I touched her.
“Sutton?” My name was a question as I collected her hair in a hand and smoothed my palm down the graceful line of her back.
I shook my head at her and leaned forward so I could touch my lips to her shoulder. “You made me feel better, Em. You made me forget. Now I wanna fuck you, and there isn’t anything forgettable about that.”
She blinked at me and gave me a slight nod as I pressed my hips into hers. Her ass wiggled against my painfully hard erection and I had a lot of dirty thoughts about what else I could do to her in this position, but that wasn’t something you did in a goddamn barn. “Tilt your ass up.”
She gave a little laugh and did as I asked. Her head fell forward as I lined my still-aching cock up with her entrance. She was warm and wet from her orgasm. I slid inside with no resistance, her heat scalding me and the sensation making me shake. I wondered if I had had the image of her bent over for me, back bowed in pleasure as I pounded into her, if my dick would have stopped working in the first place. How she looked right now was going to be burned into my brain. Like I told her, it was unforgettable.
I pulled her head back for a rough kiss. Her hair was like raw silk in my hands and her lips were soft and full against mine. She was grinning at me. Each time I grunted in pleasure or growled her name, her body clenched sharply down on mine. I had to close my eyes so I could focus on the feel of her around me. The way she pressed back into me. The way her breasts swayed in front of her and tightened in my hands.
I dropped my head so that my forehead rested on her shoulder, hips thrusting furiously, orgasm rushing forward. “There is nowhere else I would rather be, Em. Nowhere.” I was having a rough week, all my faults and failures kept coming back to haunt me, but here with her none of that seemed to matter anymore.
There was nothing delicate or romantic about the way I was rutting into her. There was nothing careful or kind about it. I was taking so much. I was greedy for everything she offered and not worried about giving anything back.
I felt my balls tighten and tingle. They lifted closer to my body and my cock pulsed heavy in warning. I couldn’t hold back a shout when I came and distantly realized the noises we were making had upset some of the animals that weren’t too far away. I let my teeth scrape across the curve of her shoulder and pulled back. My dick made a sexy sound when I pulled out of her body. My eyes locked on the trail of liquid that rolled slowly over her tanned thighs.
Fuck.
She’d offered herself up as a sacrifice to my bad judgment and hair-trigger reactions and I hadn’t even taken a second to make sure she was safe. No matter what I did, I never seemed to be able to take care of her the way she deserved.
She lifted her arms over her head and stretched like a sexy ballerina. Her eyes were bright and sated when she turned to look at me. I hitched my jeans back up around my waist and stroked a hand over my jaw. With a sigh, I reached out and trailed a finger up the inside of her thigh. Her skin was so soft and I loved how pretty the golden color was against my pale hands.
“Always seem to be dragging you into dangerous situations. I can’t remember the last time I fucked without a rubber.” I watched her eyes pop wide and she looked down at my hand then back up at me. Her gaze sharpened and she moved away from me so she could get dressed. “Nothing to say, Em? You’re the one who always wants to talk.”
She glared at me over her shoulder but it quickly faded as she shrugged. “Well, we can’t unfuck, so does it really matter one way or the other?”
I groaned and dragged a hand over my face and reached for my shirt so I could pull it back on. “Emrys.” I caught her arm and forced her to still so that she was looking at me.
She bit down on her lower lip and then tightened her shoulders. “I told you I wasn’t going to be the girl who runs when things get hard anymore. My body has been weird since the attack and from all the surgeries on my face, but I’m pretty sure the timing is off. I started this, Sutton. This was all me, you don’t get to beat yourself up over something else that wasn’t your fault.”
I swore again and forced her to step toward me so I could wrap my arms around her. “Took two of us to make that mess.”
She let out a shaky breath and put her hands on my waist. “Took both of us to make that mess up in the mountains, too.”
She was right. Both of us had made some pretty bad choices, but we’d survived because we stuck together.
“You tell me what you need and I’ll do my best to give it to you, Em. That’s about all I can promise.” I brushed my lips across hers and felt them tremble. “I’m gonna go check on Daye and then put you to bed.”
She snorted and rolled her eyes at me. “I’ll be fine on my own. Don’t worry about me.”
I tapped her lightly on her ass and lifted my eyebrows at her suggestively. “I told you I had been celibate for a long time before you showed up. If you think a couple minutes bent over a table is enough to take the edge off, you got another thing coming. You said you wanted me, well, you got me for as long as you want me. I’m going to take you every way I can think of until the sun comes up.” I gave her a crooked grin. “Like you said, we can’t unfuck so we might as well go all in. I’ll keep my shit covered from here on out.”
She nodded and let me lead her out of the tack room. There was a look on her face I didn’t recognize. She seemed like she was deep in thought but didn’t offer up an objection when I hauled her to my side. Her arm wrapped around my waist and her head landed comfortably on my shoulder.
Her words were as quiet as the night around us when she finally spoke. “Maybe I don’t need to find the person I’m willing to fight for. What if I need to find the person out there who is willing to fight for me?”
My gut clenched. She couldn’t possibly think that guy was me? She’d found me getting ready to dive head first into my own easy way out.
“Anyone who doesn’t fight for you is an idiot. You are the kind of woman a man is willing to risk everything for.” I barely had anything, but I wouldn’t hesitate to put it all on the line for her.
“I don’t need everything.” She mumbled the words so low I barely heard them. We started up the stairs to the house but I didn’t ask her what she did need. She was the one avoiding the easy way out, not me. I had a feeling I knew exactly what she wanted out of the person she picked as her own . . . their heart.
Too bad mine was just as screwed up as the rest of me.