DALE
My mind wasn’t in this. My body was, and every fiber of my being soaked up the contact between us, but I couldn’t help but think she deserved so much more than another rushed fuck.
Not that I could get my hips to do anything quickly. I knew my mother was waiting, and despite how it looked with the condom in my pocket, I’d honestly just wanted to check on her, fully expecting to still find her in bed.
“Dale,” she whispered. I lifted my head, claiming her lips because I didn’t need her to ask what was going on, didn’t want her to talk any more than we had already.
Telling her I wasn’t into this would be a lie because, damn, I was ready to shoot my load with the way she rode me, trying to take control of the pace, control I wasn’t willing to hand over because…
I didn’t know, but I wanted to draw this out just a little longer. I kissed her shoulder and neck, enjoying the way her fingertips scratched across my skull, sending shivers down my spine. She rolled her hips, making it impossible for me to control the friction she caused. I met her lips in a desperate kiss, finally giving us both what we wanted, moving my hips faster while pressing her down harder.
Her breath came in gasps as she whispered my name over and over again before biting my shoulder, muffling a scream. I felt her walls clench, felt her milking me for all it was worth, and shivered as I followed suit, not letting go of her even after we both had calmed.
I nuzzled her shoulder, placing little kisses on her skin—until I realized what I was doing and nudged her to get off my lap.
She did, dressing while I went to clean up. I considered just leaving, not returning to her. What the hell could I possibly say anyway?
She appeared in the doorway. I hesitated, wanting to press a quick kiss to her lips before going.
Instead, I cleared my throat. “So long,” I stated, walking over to the front door.
“Dale?” I turned toward her. “Thank you.” Her tone was gentle. I knew she wasn’t thanking me for the sex.
“You’re welcome.”
I meant it. I didn’t mind taking care of her. In fact, despite what I’d said, I liked the thought of watching out for her, knowing I made things a little better.
With my hand on the doorknob, I paused, wondering if I really wanted to say my next words, then closed my eyes.
“We can’t do that again, Clare. I’m… I’m going to start dating again, and I…” I swallowed. Hell, I wasn’t going to start dating, but I couldn’t keep coming back to Clare, the woman living next door, the one I needed when I was helpless with my daughter again. As much as I wanted to keep these small visits going for my sake, I needed to think of what was best for Sally, and Clare was good in her life. I didn’t want to ruin that. Not that I thought Clare would pull back from her, but I didn’t want to risk it.
“I was going to say the same.” Her tone was flat, not sounding very convincing.
Maybe if we both lied to ourselves long enough, these feelings would go away again. I wasn’t sure if I hated or loved Clare Delaney right now.
“Good night, Delaney…and drink that ginger ale.”
I let myself out, not looking back, no matter how much I wanted to, and walked back to my house. My mother was sitting on a chair on the porch, a wine glass in her hand, watching me.
“And? How is she?”
“Better. Her stomach seems fine now. I left the ginger ale anyway.”
I started to walk past her, but her hand on my forearm stopped me. “You’re falling for her, Dale. Why can’t you just admit that?”
Because Clare is nothing like Jacky. Because I can’t fathom having Sally forget her mother by having another woman in her life.
Because Clare is unlike any woman I’d ever be interested in.
“Delaney and I wouldn’t work long-term, Mom. She never shuts up, always talks back, and between you and me, I don’t think she’s exactly housewife material. Besides, Sally deserves more than a parade of women walking in and out of this house, never staying.”
Mom lifted her eyebrow the way only she could, and I wished the porch light didn’t show me the doubt written all over her face.
“So that’s what this is? An affair? You think I don’t know you’re sleeping with her? I mean, clearly your endurance isn’t anything to write home about, but—”
I groaned. “Mother! Jesus Christ, you’re the worst.”
She chuckled, then sobered again. “Didn’t I teach you to love, Dale? To not be afraid? To not settle? You did that with Jacky. I loved her like my own child, but she wasn’t the one for you. You were never over the moon, never lost in thought over her. Things were easy, familiar, and you stuck with that. Jacky always will be Sally’s mother, but she’s no longer here. You’re clinging to a ghost that I feel would’ve eventually walked out on you. I want you to live and love. Take a risk.”
I cocked my head. “Delaney isn’t a risk, Mom. It’s a fucking stupid idea.”
“Language, son.”
I sighed. “She’s not out for a relationship. More than once, she pointed out that she didn’t need me in her life, even compared me to her ex. Trust me, it’s best the way it is now. Sally loves hanging out with her, and whenever you decide to leave—not that I want you to because you’re always welcome here—I need to be able to count on Delaney to jump in with Sal the way she has. I’m not going to ruin that for my daughter by being selfish.”
“You don’t need to worry. Clare agreed to watch her while you’re dating, trying to find someone to spend your life with,” Mom stated casually.
I narrowed my eyes. “Come again?”
She shrugged, as if she were innocent. “I asked her because you need to get out and find yourself someone.”
“And she was okay with that?”
Could I have misread her that much? Been wrong about the way she’d held me differently, looked at me differently?
Mom shrugged. “I thought she was, but it seems you no longer are. Do you mind her not caring about you dating? Besides, you could repay her and watch Lacrosse when she’s out on a date. It’s only fair.”
Oh, hell no. I wasn’t going to watch that brute while she was out getting things she could be getting from me. After all, I didn’t think Delaney was up for a relationship. God, she’d better not be.
“Dale?”
I was startled from my thoughts when my mother touched my arm. Before she could say more, a scream echoed through the house. I knew my nightshift officially started again because the nightmares were back with a vengeance.