DALE
God, I’d missed holding her. We’d shared one night where I’d just held her, but besides a few hugs every now and then, there hadn’t been much more. Having her close again gave me the feeling of finding something I hadn’t even known I’d been missing.
I also knew she’d forgiven me and was considering all I’d said.
She wore a robe, pajamas under it, her hair a mess and her face devoid of make-up, but I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen anyone as beautiful as she was.
Pressing a soft kiss to her nose, I wondered how in the world I could’ve been so stupid, starting something with her to begin with, then walking out the way I had.
I couldn’t help but think that the fights we had were just about us having off-the-charts chemistry, ending up in an explosion every time we’d been in a room together.
After all, I remembered thinking she was hot when she moved in next door, but soon realized what a nuisance she was.
She’d brought chaos into my life without even trying, and I craved it. I wanted her to sing in my kitchen loud and wrong, as if she didn’t have a care in the world.
I wanted her to get spitting mad at me when I was being an ass because, with only my daughter around, I sometimes forgot how to act like a normal human being.
God, I wanted to be there when a thunderstorm rolled in and she was terrified. I wanted to protect her, to ease her mind, to make sure she knew she was safe. I wanted my girls close just so I could kiss them both before I left for work.
She waved the stack of postcards she had in her hand. “And these?”
I grinned. “A bouquet of postcards. I was an asshole, a major one, and guys bring bouquets home after they fuck up. That is my apology. Part of it anyway. Why don’t you sit down and look through those while I finish up here, then I want to show you something else.”
She arched a brow, her emerald eyes showing curiosity. I watched her walk over to my porch and sit down. It took me a second to realize she’d done so because she could see Sally and Lacrosse bouncing around now.
Good thinking, although I knew neither could escape the garden with the new fence I’d built. I connected the last of the wires, screwed two pieces of fencing into place, then collected my tools and made my way over to her.
“Sal, will you be okay out here? Don’t leave the garden,” I called.
I watched her trying to convince Lacrosse to catch a stick, but it wasn’t working very well. Instead, my daughter was the one running after the stick.
I shook my head, calling out for her again, but she just waved at me, telling me to go. I held out my hand to Clare, and she took it, letting me help her up.
Her eyes welled with tears, so I knew she’d seen the baby postcards and all the promises I’d written on the back, like how I’d get up at least once to change the diapers, or how I was going to hold her hand through it all.
When she walked out of the house the night of the thunderstorm, I’d been sure I had convinced her I was serious. I stayed up all night, listing all the things I wanted with her, no matter how small. That had led to the idea of the postcards, and each night I spent writing them, I couldn’t help but realize how much I grinned with every new one.
“Should I be afraid?” she asked.
I laughed, sweeping her up into my arms to carry her inside. I just wanted to hold her close.
“Woah. Slow down, handsome. My stomach might not agree with so many quick movements.” She laughed, and I kissed her cheek. She’d not yet said anything that led me to believe she was ready to try this and not fear me walking out.
“Then we’ll just clean up the mess.”
Her emerald eyes filled with tears again. She tried to blink them away.
“Emotional, huh? Jacky was during her pregnancy, too, even crying over spilled water.” I wouldn’t lie. It had been my favorite part because she’d needed me then, had demanded my hugs. I’d willingly given them, too.
Unfortunately, Jacky hadn’t been a cuddler any other time.
“Where did you get lost to?” Clare asked.
I realized I had stopped in the middle of the hallway, lost in my own thoughts, and the woman in my arms suddenly started struggling to get down. I just held her closer to my chest.
“I was just thinking about how I love the emotional phase because you’ll probably need a lot of love and hugs. Maybe more,” I added with a wink, hoping to turn it into a joke.
She didn’t smile, though. “One issue with my ex was that he considered me too clingy. I love snuggling, kissing, hugging, holding hands. Just…”
“Casual touches proving how much you enjoy being with the person?” I finished, my voice rough and throat dry.
“This.”
I continued, walking into my bedroom, placing her on the bed. She glanced around. I had no idea what she was looking for and didn’t ask as I pulled something from a drawer.
Handing the light blue sheets with baby elephants on them to her, her eyes widened.
“I saw them Monday and had to buy them because I couldn’t help but feel as if you’d like them. So…” I shrugged. “Besides, I think I still have a blanket they’d go with and a crib where—”
“What if it’s a girl?” She looked crestfallen, as if she feared I would get mad if she didn’t give me a boy. I just reached back into the drawer and handed her the same sheets in pink.
“All prepared. I’m falling in love you, Clare, and I cannot wait to meet our child. In fact, I was scared of everything changing, but now, I can’t wait for our future to come. Yours, Sally’s, Lacrosse’s, mine…and the baby’s.”
I waited for a moment as silent tears slipped down her cheeks, then she suddenly wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my shoulder.
“I falling for you, too, you stupid, stubborn ass,” she muttered against my neck. I closed my eyes, holding her close.
“I might still be an ass sometimes,” I whispered. I fucked up on a regular basis and knew it was going to be hard to change.
She pulled back and looked at me. “And I’ll be able to handle it. Besides, you’ll have to deal with me being loud, so…”
I grinned. “And I’ll be able to handle it.”
A beaming smile lit up her face. “Kiss me, then we can go down again so I might finally see some of my dog.”
I complied, kissing her long and sweet, then eyed her attire.
“You want to change first?”
She grinned, shaking her head. “It’s just family after all, right?”
Man, I liked the sound of it and honestly? I couldn’t care less what she wore—as long as she was around me.