CLARE
Tamping down my own fear, I sat next to Dale and Sally until Lacrosse came into the room, whining to be on the bed with us.
I’d trusted Dale to grab her from my house, and he’d clearly left her in the kitchen—where she probably chewed on whatever she found before deciding it was too boring without humans and had followed our voices.
With the pup cuddled up next to her, Sally eventually fell asleep on Dale’s lap. He shifted and laid her down. She had indeed sounded hoarse, so it was no surprise she was exhausted.
However, with the sleeping girl came the realization that I needed to get out of here immediately. Not that I wanted to be alone, especially because the storm hadn’t moved on, but he’d left, staying away for days.
He’d broken his promise.
I couldn’t handle it anymore, no matter how much I reveled in the small touches I’d gotten today. I was like a fucking addict, knowing every little touch would just tear me apart more, yet I craved the hotness in my veins.
Gathering the mugs, I made my way back to the kitchen, cleaning up what little mess I’d created, then paused at the counter. I willed my feet to move, to carry me back to my house, but they seemed frozen in place.
I jumped when arms wrapped around me from behind, as if this were an everyday occurrence and we weren’t two people in love who didn’t speak to each other.
It was in his eyes, in the way he watched me, but I knew his mind was still against us, kept holding him back. I couldn’t…wouldn’t hold out hope that it would change any time soon.
Slipping away from him, instantly missing his warmth, I lowered my chin, staring at the floor. “I’m leaving Lacrosse here. Maybe that will keep her from waking up until morning. I’ll pick her up when—”
“Or you could stay and take her with you tomorrow morning, Clare. You’re terrified anyway, so—”
“No more than I am of having you just do a one-eighty again. This, us…” I gestured between our two bodies, “had passed before it even began. I’m not going to be there, and—”
“Clare, I’m sorry. For being stupid, for walking out, but I had an appointment. Someone came to take care of my washing machine. That was all. That’s why I had to slip out of your bed.”
I sighed in exasperation. “That’s why you had to drag your daughter from my guest bedroom? That’s why you didn’t leave a note? Because you had someone coming over on a Sunday who couldn’t have waited just one fucking second? Let’s be honest here, Dale. Had you wanted it, wanted to be serious about this instead of regretting having shown up at my door in the first place, you’d have woken me up, kissed me goodbye, and explained why you were leaving. You never planned on coming back that day, which was why you took your daughter and haven’t talked to me since.” I licked my lips, running my hands through my curls. “I got the message loud and clear, and I accept it. So I’m going to leave.”
He caught my hand before I’d passed him.
“I don’t want you to leave. Both of you.”
I swallowed. “Talking about Lacrosse and me?” I knew he wasn’t, but I needed to see his reaction.
A smug grin played over his lips. “Lacrosse is already not going anywhere. I’m talking about you and the baby.” His expression softened. “I’m an idiot who likes to ignore his feelings, then shows up when it’s dark.”
I wondered for a moment if he realized the irony because, again, we were having a normal discussion after an emotional evening. “And who runs as soon as the light of day sets in? Welcome to the never-ending cycle. I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.” I smiled softly and gave in to the urge to touch him, pressing my hand against his chest. Dale’s heartbeat felt irregular, as if it couldn’t decide whether to break out into a panic at my words or stop altogether.
“I’m not.” He pulled me close. I let him because I craved it. “I’m not done with you and I’ll prove it. I might start looking at your social media, talking to your colleagues at work, or going through your mail to see what magazines you get, but if you don’t want to tell me about yourself, I’ll eventually find out your favorite flowers and food.”
A laugh left my lips, catching me by surprise. “That’s not at all stalkerish, or freaky, or weird.”
He chuckled. “But it got you to laugh, and that’s all I need. Clare, I’m going to make this right. I swear.” He cupped the back of my neck. I looked up at him, his eyes sincere.
“Zoodles…,” I whispered. He narrowed his eyes, confused. “That’s my favorite food. Zucchini noodles. I don’t care with what. And flowers? None. I’m not good with flowers anyway, and even the easy ones die on me. Bouquets are wasted because I forget to refill the water, so no flowers. If you want to impress me, bring me postcards. Funny ones, pretty ones, anything. They are my flowers.”
Why am I telling him all this?
“Noted,” he muttered, leaning in until our lips were just a breath apart. I knew he was going to kiss me, but I couldn’t allow it. He was always so sweet and amazing during the night, but once the sun rose, he turned into a completely different person.
“I’m leaving now. After all, the thunder has died down.” There hadn’t been one clap of thunder since Dale had entered the kitchen, but the rain still came down in buckets. “I hope Sally will be fine now. I mean… Well, we’ll just hope.”
I wanted to cuddle her small body to mine to reassure myself she was going to be okay, comforting her should she wake up again. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t my flesh and blood.
Holding her, rocking her, calming her came naturally and made me long to be a bigger part of her life.
Dale walked me to the door. I didn’t know why I turned back again. It was obvious I wasn’t going to say goodbye forever, wasn’t turning down his advances, but would see what he’d do to prove we belonged together.
He seemed to know that because he drew me in again and kissed my forehead, his lips lingering. I let his hug wash over me, let the comfort consume me until I knew I’d be okay for another day.
He grasped my face to make me look at him. “Again, I’m sorry, Clare. Count on you sleeping next to me soon, and not just for one night. Good night.” It was a promise, his voice solemn.
When he released me, I cocked my head, knowing he saw the doubt on my face.
“Good night,” I replied, then made my way back to my empty, silent house.