Chapter 5
Oliver
Three days and he was still riding the high from his night with Meghan. It had been everything he’d expected it to be and more. They spent the entire night and part of the morning making love. He hadn’t cared that he was late for work, he just knew he couldn’t start his day without pledging his devotion to her gorgeous body.
Every time they were together he became more certain of the fact that she was the most incredible woman he’d ever met. If it had been up to him, he would have called in sick so they could spend the day in bed devouring each other. Meghan had seemed as into the idea as he had until her phone rang. Without a word, she’d bolted out of bed with her phone pressed against her ear.
“Hello….this is her…” he heard her say as she left the room.
When he heard the door to the bathroom shut and the shower start, he knew their day of indulgence was over. While she showered he’d gathered up his clothes and quickly put them on before she came out. He hadn’t been surprised when Meghan emerged from the bathroom, her demeanor a complete 180 from the seductress he’d been in bed with less than 15 minutes before. She barely acknowledged him as she put on her own clothes. She seemed in a daze, focused only on the act of putting on clothes, her mind somewhere else entirely.
He’d asked if everything was okay and she jumped, seemingly startled by the fact that she wasn’t alone in the room and then she just nodded. No words, no explanation, just a nod. He knew she was lying, but he wasn’t going to call her on it. At least not in that moment. He’d planned on giving her time. She was still struggling with trusting him, still struggling with the depth of their relationship. Eventually, she’d tell him. At least he’d hoped she would.
With each day that passed, he grew more and more worried about her. Every day, he wished she would call him or respond to his texts with more than one-word answers. Something was going on with her and no one knew what it was.
He was half tempted to show up at her apartment and demand answers, but he knew that would only end up pushing her away. He would have gone with his old standby of showing up at her work to talk, but he knew Meghan wasn’t there. Feeling sort of like a stalker, but not ashamed enough to stop himself, Oliver had called Gabriel to see if she was acting funny at work. That was when he found out she’d called Gabriel Monday afternoon and asked for the rest of the week off.
Oliver didn’t miss the fact that his friend was also worried about Meghan. Gabriel had made sure to point out in all the time she’d worked for him, she’d never asked for time off at the last minute. Something was definitely up, and Oliver couldn’t help but beat himself up over the fact he’d left her alone when she obviously needed him. He should have stuck around Monday morning and been there for her no matter what.
He’d gone over and over possible scenarios in his mind whenever he thought about the phone call she’d gotten. It could have been bad news about a family member that lived out of state. Maybe she had to go to them and that was why she needed time off and couldn’t respond to him. He knew both of her parents were gone and she never really talked about any other family members, but he figured it was safe to assume there were other people in her life. Maybe it wasn’t a family member but a close friend that needed her. Either way, he yearned to hear her voice, for her to tell him that everything was fine; that they were fine.
Oliver struggled to get anything done at work, his concentration shot. When he found himself snapping at the second person in as many hours, he opted to take the rest of the day off. He wished he could take the next day off too, but he was supposed to fly out for a marketing conference Monday morning and needed to get everything together before he left the office on Friday. He usually looked forward to work trips, but this time he didn’t want to leave Seattle, at least not until he talked to Meghan.
Once he got home, he fought the urge to pace around the room after he sent another text to check on her. Instead, he took a seat on his couch and turned on the TV. Looking through the guide, he found a marathon of The Big Bang Theory on one of the cable channels that he figured would be a decent distraction. He’d seen every episode more than once so it wouldn’t matter if he wasn’t 100% invested in what was happening. Lying down, he propped his feet up on the opposite arm of the couch and put a pillow behind his head. If he was going to veg out, he might as well get comfortable.
Oliver knew his focus was going to be on his phone instead of what was on TV, so it surprised him when the sound of his phone vibrating on the coffee table jolted him awake. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep and when he checked the clock on his DVR, he discovered he’d taken a two-hour nap. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up, then stretched his arms over his head.
He hated the way sleeping in the middle of the day made him feel. He was groggy and crankier than he had been before he fell asleep, but that didn’t matter at the moment. Reaching over, he grabbed his phone from the table and swiped across the front of it so his text messages would show. It wasn’t much, but it was more than the one word at a time she’d been sending him for the last couple of days and that thrilled Oliver. The fact she was asking if he was home also thrilled him. She wanted to see him, at least that was what he got from her question. He almost didn’t want to answer her for fear that wasn’t the case.
Yes. Just hanging out, watching TV.
He’d barely sent his response when another text from her came through.
I’ll be there in 5.
As the seconds ticked by, five minutes had never felt so long. When he heard her pull into his driveway he had to fight the impulse to jump up and run to the door like a dog welcoming his owner home at the end of a long day. He waited for her to knock on his door before he got up from the couch, then he walked slowly the few steps to his front door instead of running to it like a crazy person. He couldn’t fight the smile that was on his face as he opened the door though. He was happy to see her, but when he looked at her, it seemed like the feeling might not be mutual.
Meghan looked tired but still as beautiful as ever. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her face was devoid of makeup. She wore leggings and an oversized Seahawks sweatshirt, though none of those things surprised him or worried him. It was how red and puffy her eyes were and the tear streaks that were still evident on her face that had him wanting to pull her into his arms so he could comfort her.
“Hey,” he said lamely. “Come on in.”
He stood aside allowing her to enter his house. Part of him wanted to rejoice in the fact that she was there, the rest of him needed her to tell him what was going on. His heart was racing, but he wasn’t sure why. He wanted to wrap her in his arms so he could make everything better, but something told him not to. Something told him he didn’t want to hear what she had to say.
After closing the door, he turned to her, trying to read her face. She was a blank slate, except for the sadness written there. He still held out hope that there was something he could do to help her with that sadness, but he feared that wasn’t going to be the case. He knew whatever was bothering her, it was about him, about them and he had a sinking feeling he wasn’t going to be able to talk her out of whatever she came over to say.
“Did you want to sit down?” he asked.
She shook her head. “This won’t take long.”
Her voice cracked as she spoke. She wouldn’t meet his eyes, opting to look at the floor instead of him. It was then he knew the news wasn’t good, at least not for him.
“I can’t do this, Oliver. I know I said I’d try, but I can’t.”
“What changed?”
“It’s too hard. I can’t be what you want or what you need. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. You deserve more than me. You deserve to be happy.”
“I am happy. I’m happier with you than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Why can’t you see that?”
“For now, you might be happy, but it won’t last. It can’t.”
“I love you. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
Although he couldn’t see her eyes, he knew there were tears there. He watched as one slid down her cheek. She wasn’t as unaffected by this situation as she tried to seem. It was tearing her apart just as much to say goodbye, so why she was going through with it? Why couldn’t they work things out together? Oliver didn’t understand why she was breaking both of their hearts when she didn’t have to.
“You’ll get over me. I’m sorry Oliver, but I can’t love you.”
“Can’t or won’t?” he asked harshly.
“Can’t,” she said, choking on the word.
His chest ached as he fought back tears. Rubbing the heel of his palm against the center of his chest, he watched her. They were both hurting, and he didn’t understand why. He needed to understand. He needed her to tell him why she was doing this to them.
“I wish you’d stop saying that word. Or at the very least explain to me why you keep saying it. I deserve to know why you’re breaking my heart. Tell me why,” he demanded through clenched teeth.
“I’m sorry, Oliver,” she whispered before pushing past him and rushing toward the door.
He reached for her, but missed her arm, instead knocking her purse off her shoulder. It fell to the floor, the contents of it littering the tile of his entryway. She hastily dropped to her knees grabbing up items as quickly as she could. He knelt down to help her, his hand falling on an envelope at his feet at the same time as hers. He picked it up, his eyes going to the logo in the upper left-hand corner as she tried to yank it from his hand.
“Give it to me, Oliver. Please. Just give it to me,” she begged, but he could barely hear her.
Seattle Oncology Clinic. That was all he could see, all he could hear despite no one saying the words. He couldn’t breathe and he was pretty sure his heart had stopped beating altogether. Oncology. That meant cancer. What the actual fuck was happening? His vision blurred as the words rang through his head again.
“What is this?”
“Oliver…”
“What is this, Meghan?” he asked again, anger penetrating his voice despite him trying to hold it back.
“It’s nothing,” she whispered.
“Try again,” he ground out as he finally took his eyes off the envelope and looked at her. She was crying heavily, but he could tell she was also angry. Nothing good was going to come out of forcing her to have this conversation. Neither of them was ready for her to explain the envelope he held in his hands. When she tried to snatch the envelope from him again, he let her. She nearly fell backward with the force of her pull but righted herself quickly.
“It’s nothing. Please just leave it alone, Oliver. Leave me alone,” she said as she stood to leave. She looked at him one last time before rushing out of his house, the door left open behind her.
As soon as she was out of his sight, he fell back onto his ass, his body going numb from shock. He didn’t know what to do or what to think. In all his speculating of what was going on with her his brain never once went to her being the one in trouble. Of course, he still didn’t know if that was the case, but all signs were pointing that way. Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part or just being blind to what was in front of him, he wasn’t quite sure. He hadn’t taken her silence seriously over the last three days and that was on him.
He should have been there for her, whether she wanted him to be or not. Even if it had been a family member or a friend that had caused her to go silent, he should have still been there to give her strength. And he sure as hell shouldn’t have let her run out of his house just now. He should have caught her, insisted they talk it out or at the very least he should have insisted he drive her home. She was in no shape to drive on her own, not with her eyes blinded by tears.
Oliver knew he fucked up, but that was going to stop now. He got up from the floor and walked over to where his phone still sat on the coffee table. He quickly sent her a text.
I’m sorry. Please at least let me know you got home safe.
He wasn’t going to hold his breath waiting for a reply. Even though it was a perfectly acceptable thing to want to know she was safe, he knew she was probably still upset with him. He also knew she was going to stick to her break-up scenario and avoid him at all cost. For now, he’d let her believe that was how things were going to go. He needed advice and there was only one person he could think of that could give it to him.
◆◆◆
“What’s up, man? You look like shit. Everything okay?
As soon as he verified Gabriel wasn’t too busy to talk, he’d hopped in his car and drove the few miles to the West Seattle location of Arrow. Since Meghan had called out for the week, he knew Gabriel would be covering for her there instead of working at his recently opened Capitol Hill location. As he drove, he hoped Gabriel would still be free by the time he got to the restaurant. Oliver really needed a friend and he knew Gabriel was the only one who would understand.
Oliver looked across the desk at his friend and was so thankful that he and Savannah had postponed their honeymoon until things were more settled in their professional lives. There was no way he could take this to Braeden or Declan. Neither of them was in love; neither of them would understand the agony he was feeling right now when he thought about what that damn envelope meant.
“Have you noticed anything with Meghan lately? Has she been acting strangely?”
“Aside from asking for the week off at the last minute? No. But you see her more than I do. I’ve been too busy at the other store. She and Sylvia have been keeping this place running pretty smoothly for the last few months while I’ve been over there with Ray. Is married life not working out for you guys?”
“It was…at least I thought it was. Sunday everything was perfect. Monday morning, she got a phone call and something changed. I left her place that morning and didn’t really hear from her until about an hour ago. If she responded to me at all it was a yes or a no or a fine. Nothing for me to really go on. Then she shows up today and tells me she doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the worst of it. When I tried to stop her from leaving, she dropped her purse and I found an envelope from Seattle Oncology.”
“Fuck…cancer?” Gabriel asked, suddenly sitting up straighter in his chair.
“I have no idea. She wouldn’t tell me anything. She grabbed the envelope, told me to leave her alone and rushed out of my house. I sent her a text asking her to let me know when she got home safe, but I haven’t heard from her. I have no idea where she is or what’s going on.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
Silence filled the room as they both thought about the implications of the envelope. Oliver knew Meghan meant a lot to Gabriel. She might have started out as his employee, but they’d become friends fast. Meghan was also close to Gabriel’s wife and he knew Savannah would be heartbroken if anything happened to her friend.
“Do you think the girls know anything?” Gabriel asked.
“I don’t know. She’s been spending a lot of time with Brooklyn lately, so maybe her, but I doubt it. I have a feeling Meghan’s been keeping this from everyone.” Oliver shook his head. “What am I going to do, man?”
“Talk to her.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing she wants to do.”
“If you care about her, you won’t let that stop you,” Gabriel said. “If she is dealing with cancer, you’ll have to decide if you can handle that. You’ll need to think about it long and hard and you should figure it out before you pursue her. If you can’t deal with the hard road she has ahead of her, then just leave her be. It’ll only make things tougher on the both of you, if you aren’t in it for the long haul.”
“Cancer or no cancer, I want to be with her. I love her. Drunk marrying her is the best thing I’ve ever done. I don’t want to let her go.”
“Then don’t.”
◆◆◆
Friday morning, Oliver went to work like he’d planned. He’d barely slept the night before, but he knew he had to go into the office to take care of a few things. It took all of an hour to talk to his boss, get the next week off work and find someone else to go to the conference to represent their company. The minute he mentioned that his wife was sick, his boss had been sympathetic and willing to do whatever he needed.
While Oliver hated pulling the wife card or the sickness card, he knew there was no way he could go on that trip. Whether he could get Meghan to talk to him or not, he knew there was no way he could fly halfway across the country until he knew what was happening. If there was even a sliver of a chance that she’d come to him in her time of need, he knew he couldn’t leave.
He waited until a little after noon to head over to her apartment. If she wasn’t going to answer his texts or calls, he was going to face her head on. When he got to her complex, he was thankful to see her car parked in her assigned spot. At least now he knew she’d gotten home safe the day before. He took the stairs two at a time, in a hurry to see her though he knew there was no guarantee she was going to open the door or invite him in.
Invitation or not, he had something to say and a stubborn woman and closed door wasn’t going to stop him. Pounding a fist against her door, he waited. There weren’t a lot of people around and the noise around her complex was pretty nonexistent. He could hear her moving around the apartment, could hear her walking to the door.
“I know you’re in there, Meghan.”
She didn’t answer, but he wasn’t expecting her to. No doubt she was waiting for him to go away, but he hadn’t heard her move away from the door, so she was still listening. If she wasn’t going to let him in, he was going to lay it all out for her with the door between them. He didn’t care if her neighbors heard him or if he pissed her off. What he had to say was worth it.
“Fine, you don’t have to open the door. I know you can hear me, so I’m just going to say it,” he told her. “I don’t know what’s happening with you, but I want to. I want you to realize that me loving you isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s a really good thing because it means that I’m here for you no matter what you’re going through.”
He paused, listening to see if anything had changed on her end. He heard a sniffle, but that was it. At least she was still on the other side of the door. He could picture her sitting up against it, her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around them.
“Whatever you’re dealing with, whatever you’re going through, we can go through it together. You don’t have to push me away to keep me safe. I want to hold your hand and wipe away your tears. I want to kiss you and try my damnedest to make you smile even when you’re feeling like everything’s falling apart. This is what people in a loving relationship do, Meghan. They take care of each other. They fight for each other. Please let me fight for you.”
“Go home, Oliver. Just go. I don’t need you. I don’t love you,” she said, her voice cracking as she delivered the final blow to his heart.
He’d hoped she’d speak to him, but those words weren’t the ones he wanted to hear. Letting his head fall forward until his forehead touched her door, Oliver let out a sigh. The wood was cool against his feverish skin and for a moment he let that comfort him. He’d thought he was prepared for the worst thing she could say to him, but he hadn’t been. He knew the odds were against him, but yet he’d filled himself with so much hope that all the preparation in the world wouldn’t have kept those words from tearing through him.
After a moment of worry, he shook off her words. While they stung, he had to remember he wasn’t giving up on her. She might say she didn’t love him, but he knew the truth. He knew she only said those words to hurt him, to push him away. Oliver wasn’t going anywhere, and he wasn’t going to let her go through things alone. She might not need him, but she needed someone. Although he’d made Gabriel promise not to say anything to anyone else, he wasn’t going to keep this secret when he knew there was someone else Meghan might listen to.
“I’m not giving up Meghan. This isn’t over, not by a long shot. I’m going to fight for us, for you, and just a warning, I don’t fight fair.”
With those parting words, he turned and walked back down the three flights of stairs to the parking lot. He waited until he got in the car before pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. It was time he pulled out the big guns. All was fair in love and war, and whatever was going on with Meghan was definitely worth declaring war over.
“Brooklyn, it’s Oliver. I need your help.”