Chapter Thirteen
“Where are you going?” Phil asked a few Saturdays later, pushing himself up on his elbows and squinting across the bedroom at Lina, who was dressed and at the door.
“Sorry. I was trying not to wake you. I have a breakfast appointment. Another potential client.”
“It’s Saturday.”
“I know. It was the only time that worked for both of us over the next month, and I know you’re going to see Liam today so it seemed like a good time.” She was back at the bed, leaning down and meeting his lips. “I have to go. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Wait—wait.” He clasped her wrist. “It’s only eight. Don’t we have time for—”
“No.” She kissed him again before pulling from his grasp. “My meeting’s in Bethesda. I have to leave now, or I’ll be late.”
“Bethesda?” That was more than forty-five minutes away.
“Yes. They have homes there, too,” she teased.
Phil watched her walk toward the door, her hips swaying beneath her skirt. “No more Saturday meetings,” he called out. “Saturday mornings are mine.”
“I’ll make it up to you tonight.” She threw him a kiss before leaving the room.
He fell back on the bed, sighing deeply. He was all about her having a career if that’s what she wanted, but not one that interfered with their life.
“Where’s Mom?” Logan asked an hour later, following Knight into the house. He set the newspaper he’d retrieved from the end of the driveway onto the table in front of Phil.
“She had an appointment.”
Logan poured himself a bowl of cereal before sitting across from Phil at the table. “When will she be home?”
“I’m not sure. Probably noon or so.”
“Could you take me to Will’s at eleven thirty if she’s not back?”
“Your sister can take you,” Phil said.
“No,” Katie said. She was standing near the sink pouring herself a cup of coffee. “He can take an Uber.”
“I’m not paying for an Uber when you can drive him.”
“Why should I have to drive him? I’m not his parent. It’s like you and Mom expect me to be his personal chauffeur. I drive him more places than I drive myself.”
“Consider it your job,” Phil said dryly.
“I’m Matt’s social media person. That’s my job.”
“Consider it your job that pays for your gas and clothes and—”
“I can pay for my own. I have over five thousand dollars in my account.”
It was money she’d saved from his parents’ birthday and holiday gifts. She wasn’t like Megan and Logan who would immediately go out and buy themselves something. Katie prided herself in being a minimalist, refusing to partake in what she referred to as the rabid materialism of her generation.
“Stop arguing with me. I want you to drive your brother to Will’s. This isn’t a discussion. I have to be in Chevy Chase at eleven. I can’t take him.”
“Would you at least pay me?” Katie joined them at the table. “You’re the reason I don’t have a paying job.”
It was true. When she’d talked about getting a job, he’d insisted her only job was school. “You just told me you have five thousand dollars.”
“Are you going to punish me for being responsible?”
He took out his wallet, extracted a twenty-dollar bill, and held it out to her, pulling it back when she reached for it. “This is only because I’m feeling generous.”
“Whatever.” Katie snagged the money from his hand. “Mom always makes pancakes on Saturdays.”
“And your point?”
“You could make them.”
He lifted an eyebrow. “How likely do you think that is?” Besides grilling, he had no skills in the food prep area.
“With Mom working more you should learn.”
He chuckled. “I have a better idea.”
“No way.” She stole a piece of toast from his plate. “So you’re going to see Liam?”
“Yes.”
“Grandma said he looks like Logan.”
Phil’s gaze shifted to Logan who was staring down at his cereal. “He does.”
Logan roughly pushed back his chair, toppling it over onto the hardwood floor. “He doesn’t look like me!”
“Hey, get back here! Logan!” Phil was out of his chair and following him toward the front of the house. “Don’t you walk away from me!” He grabbed his arm. “Get back in there and fix the chair.”
Logan squared his shoulders, marching back into the kitchen and righting the chair. When he attempted to leave the kitchen, Phil stepped in his path.
“Look at me,” Phil demanded. “Logan, look at me,” he repeated when Logan didn’t instantly comply. “This isn’t about you. I know you’re having a hard time with it but having a temper tantrum serves no purpose.”
“I just want to go to my room.”
“What do you expect me to do? Ignore him? I’m his father.”
Logan lowered his eyes. “Can I go to my room, please?”
“Lo—”
“Please,” he whispered. His chin had begun to quiver.
“Go ahead,” Phil said, realizing he was about to cry. He dragged his hand down his face. He had no idea how to get through to him.
“You really don’t have a choice,” Katie said. “You’re his dad.”
“I am,” Phil agreed. Who would have guessed Katie would be the one to understand?
“Do you have his picture?”
Phil brought up a recent picture Kim had sent him of Liam. He was standing in his crib, holding onto the rails, a wide smile on his face. “That’s him.” He handed the phone to Katie.
He watched her eyes drift over the image, her brows pulled together in concentration. “He’s so big.”
“Eight months on the twenty-third,” Phil said.
“He does look like Logan,” she said. “Does he talk yet?”
“Not really. He babbles mostly.”
“I should probably meet him sometime. He is my brother.”
“You should,” Phil agreed.
Later that evening Phil decided to broach the subject with Lina. It had been four months since he’d moved back home and she’d shown no interest in meeting Liam. He was beginning to wonder if she ever would. “I understand if you’re not ready but I’d like to introduce him to the kids, well at least Katie. She wants to meet him.”
“Katie?”
“She mentioned it this morning. I could take her with me next week.”
“No. I don’t want her anywhere near Kim.”
Phil followed her into the master bath. “She asked to meet him.”
“I know. I know. It’s just…I’d prefer that we wait and all do it together. You know, when he’s older and comes for a visit.”
He watched her begin to wash her face, trying to gauge what she was feeling. He didn’t want to push her into a meeting but he also was tired of keeping Liam separate from the rest of his family. Not even Mike or his parents had met him. It was as if he only existed in four-hour increments once a week. “I like the idea of everyone meeting him as a family.”
“Good.” She finished washing her face and began patting her face dry with a wash cloth.
“Any idea when that might take place?”
She paused, meeting Phil’s eyes in the mirror. “I guess I should start converting the upstairs guestroom into a nursery for him. When that’s done, we can start figuring out dates.”
***
It was the last Friday in August. Phil was in his office, finishing up some work before heading to the beach with Lina and the kids for a week-long vacation, when he received a phone call from Tom Hendrix, a former law-school classmate and a partner in another Baltimore firm.
After they shared pleasantries for a couple of minutes, the other man got to the point of the call. “I thought I should give you the courtesy of letting you know, in case you didn’t already, Kim is coming to our Baltimore office.”
Phil, who had been leaning back in his chair with his legs perched up on the desk, slowly dropped his feet to the ground. He wasn’t naive. He’d assumed most of his colleagues knew about the affair—the legal community in Baltimore was small—but this was the first time someone was blatantly alluding to it. “Coming as in permanently?” he asked, failing to keep the intensity from his voice.
“So, she didn’t tell you?”
“No, she didn’t tell me. I helped her get that job, Tom—to get her out of this fucking city.”
“You know her résumé. She would have her pick of local firms if we weren’t willing to accommodate her. She’s not happy at our Washington office, and we didn’t want to lose her. She wants to be in Baltimore.”
“Why? Why does she want to be in Baltimore?”
“Honestly? She said she wanted her son closer to you.”
Phil waited until he was in his car and on his way home before calling Kim. “When were you going to tell me?” he asked as soon as she answered his call.
“It didn’t become official until today,” Kim answered. “I tried to call you earlier but as usual you didn’t answer.”
“We agreed you would leave Baltimore—that’s why I helped you find that job.”
“No, you convinced me to leave. But I’m not happy so I’m coming back.”
Phil’s hand tightened on the steering wheel. “What about Maria?”
“What about her?” she laughed. “She’s a babysitter, Phil. Do you expect me to not move because of his babysitter?”
“She’s been watching him since he was a month old. He likes her. She’s reliable.”
“I’m more concerned with him seeing his father. I thought it would be nice for him to be closer to you. Maybe you’ll be able to see him for more than four hours a week.”
“You should have talked to me,” he said. “You should have told me what you were planning.”
“Why? So you could talk me out of moving? I want Liam closer to you. It’s what’s best for him.”
***
When Lina opened her eyes, it took her a moment to remember that she wasn’t at home but in the beachfront house they’d rented in Bethany Beach, Delaware. She could hear the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore. As her eyes adjusted to the darkened room, she noted the sliding doors leading off the bedroom to their private deck were open. She found Phil there, in shorts but no shirt, his hands resting on the deck rail as he stared out at the ocean.
She stroked her hands up his warm back. He’d been quiet all day, even passing on Logan and Brian’s request to play lacrosse with them on the beach. When she’d confronted him earlier, he’d denied anything was wrong. “What are you thinking about?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
She wrapped her arms around him from behind, laying her cheek against his back. “Talk to me.” She could feel the tension in him. “I know you. Is something going on at work? You’re not going to tell me you have to go back early, are you?” It had happened once when the kids were still young. Phil was so focused on making partner he’d wanted to drive back to Baltimore for what he’d deemed an important client. Lina had put her foot down, telling him he wasn’t leaving her alone during their family vacation. He’d stayed, but as a precaution for the next several years, she’d made sure their vacation destinations were too far away to simply drive home.
“Kim is transferring to Hendrix, Wolff, and Pearson’s Baltimore office. She’s moving back.”
Lina let her arms drop to her sides. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach. “Why didn’t you tell me? We agreed on full disclosure when it came to her.”
“I was going to. I didn’t want it to ruin this week.”
“Ruin this week? You barely spoke today. You were already letting it ruin our week.”
“I’m sorry, baby.” The half of his face illuminated by the full moon looked exhausted, like the weight of the world was on him. “I guess I’m just trying to come to terms with it myself.”
“Why would she do that?” she asked, knowing the answer. Kim wanted to be closer to Phil.
“I don’t know what motivates her. She wasn’t even the one to tell me. Tom Hendrix called as a courtesy.”
“He knows about the two of you?” She crossed her arms over her chest, nauseous at the realization that most of Phil’s colleagues in the legal community knew.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop telling me you’re sorry—it doesn’t help.”
“But I am.” He cupped the side of her face. “I know how hard this is for you.”
“No, you don’t. You have no idea what it feels like to be me.” She shrugged off his hand and went back to the bedroom. She knew she was being unfair. She’d taken him back knowing about Kim, but it was late, and the thought of Kim being in her orbit was too much to take in at three o’clock in the morning. “I’m sure she’ll be broadcasting that you’re Liam’s father all over town,” she said when she felt Phil’s presence in the room. “It’s only a matter of time before somebody in their school hears about it from their parent. How many lawyers do you know whose children go to Gilman or McDonogh?”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Stop her,” she answered. “Make her stay where she is.” She was slipping on a sundress while she spoke.
“I would if I could.”
She hated the anger she was feeling, hated how much power she was giving Kim.
“What are you doing? Why are you getting dressed?”
“I’m going to the beach.” She headed toward the door.
“Not alone you’re not,” Phil said. “It’s the middle of the night.”
***
It took fifteen minutes for Lina to let go of the anger. She was on a blanket beside Phil, staring out at the ocean. He’d given her space, sitting silently beside her.
“I’ve been trying to put her out of my mind, you know—pretend she doesn’t exist.” She’d done it with Liam, too, but she wasn’t ready to admit that aloud. “But I don’t think that’s going to work because she’s here to stay.”
“I’m sorry.” He began to caress her back.
“I know you’re not responsible for what she does.”
“I’m responsible for bringing her into our lives. I brought a stranger into our lives.”
“She is a stranger, isn’t she?”
“Yes.” He brushed his lips over her temple. His arm tightened around her. “She’s no one. She’s never been anything to me. My duty is only to Liam. I’m not going to let her interfere with our life. You are my priority—only you.”
Lina stared out at the ocean for a moment longer and then she was coming to her feet. “Let’s go for a swim.”
“Baby, it’s the middle of the night.”
“I don’t care.”
“Someone could see,” he said when she began to peel off her dress.
“No, they can’t. It’s too dark.” She tossed her dress at him. “Come on.”
“What if the kids are still up? Lina,” he called out when she began to walk toward the water.
“No one can see us. Their bedroom is on the other side of the house.” She walked a few more steps before turning back to him. “You’re not going to make me swim alone, are you?” She smiled. “Come on. I want to swim naked with you.”
Phil glanced back at the darkened house. “Fuck it,” he said before jumping to his feet and stripping off his clothes.