Chapter Twenty-eight
“You can’t do that,” Katie was saying when Lina entered the kitchen the following morning. “Mom, tell him he can’t take the car from me.”
Lina looked from Katie, who was standing beside the kitchen table with her fists clenched, to Phil, who was looking down at the newspaper appearing completely relaxed. “I’m not sure what we’re talking about.”
“I’m trying to go to the store to return all the stupid gifts people gave me so I can get what I want and Dad took my keys.”
“Oh.” Lina’s gaze shifted to her in-laws, who were pretending not to be listening to the conversation as they ate their breakfast. “Maybe we shouldn’t discuss this in front of your grandparents.”
“There’s nothing to discuss,” Phil said, pausing to shake out the newspaper before turning pages. “Her punishment for inviting Matt and his grandmother over without permission is the loss of the car for the remainder of winter break.”
“I’m seventeen years old,” Katie fumed, stomping her foot. “I’m too old to be punished.”
“Keep it up and I’ll make you spend the entire winter break with me.”
“Mom!”
“Sorry. I’m with your dad on this. You shouldn’t have invited them without discussing it with us first.” She gave Phil’s shoulder a squeeze as she passed him on the way to the coffee.
“Matt’s grandmother doesn’t cook. They were going to go to Ruby Tuesday for dinner. I love him! I didn’t want him eating at Ruby Tuesday on Christmas.”
“That’s a discussion we should have had, then. But we didn’t. Instead you decided on your own to invite them to dinner.”
“Because Dad is so unreasonable! He would have said no!”
“Lower your voice,” Phil said, annoyance creeping into his.
“Other kids have their boyfriends and girlfriends over on Christmas.”
“Other kids have different parents,” Phil said.
“I wish I did!” She stormed from the room only to return seconds later. “May I borrow your car, Mom?”
“Unless your mother or I send you out on an errand, you have lost your driving privilege for the remainder of your winter break,” Phil said.
“Why?” Katie put her hands on her hips.
“Katie,” Lina warned, knowing she was on the verge of pushing Phil too far. “You knew when you invited them there would be repercussions.”
“I bet you two had Christmas together when you were my age.” She turned to her grandmother. “Did Mom—”
“Enough,” Phil interrupted, snapping his newspaper closed. “Do you hear me?” he asked, frowning at Katie. “Another word and you’ll lose the car for the month of January as well.”
Katie crossed her arms over her chest and marched across the kitchen to where Lina was stirring her coffee. “I need you to take me to the store.”
“Right now I’m going to have coffee and breakfast, and then I’m—”
“Will you take me to the store?” Katie asked, cutting Lina off midsentence as Megan came into the room.
“Me?” Megan raised her eyebrows, clearly surprised by the request.
“I need to return some things, and Dad is being…Dad won’t let me drive.”
“Is that okay?” Megan asked Phil.
“It’s up to you.”
Megan shrugged. “Okay. I needed to go anyway. Let me just get a yogurt.”
“Something positive came from that,” Lina said as soon as Megan and Katie left. “They’re finally starting to act like sisters.” She smiled as Logan, still sporting elf pajamas, came into the kitchen. “Good morning.”
Phil frowned at him. “It’s been three days. Don’t they need to be washed?”
“Mom gave me another pair.” Logan smirked.
“Should I be concerned?” Phil asked dryly.
“Phil, stop,” Lina cautioned.
“What?” His eyes widened. “If he prefers feminine pajamas to normal clothes, I’d like to know.”
“Well, maybe your son is more comfortable in his masculinity than you,” Lina said. “Have you thought of that?”
“No.” Phil met her eyes across the table. “I’ve never thought of that.”
“Mom?” Katie said late that afternoon, stopping behind Lina, who was in the process of putting clothes in the washing machine. “I was thinking that taking my car away punishes you more than me because you’re having to take me where I want to go now.”
“I’ll survive,” Lina said dryly.
“It’s not really fair to you, though. Maybe you should tell Dad that.”
“He’s not going to change his mind and neither am I, so you may as well accept your fate and next time think about the repercussions of your actions.”
“God, I hate it when you do that.”
“What?”
“Sound like Dad. It’s annoying. If it were up to you, you would have let them come for Christmas. Grandma’s right. Dad is a dictator. He sucks everyone’s freedom away. You’re not even a kid and you let him do it to you. And considering you’re supposed to be our role model, you’re not setting a good example. You should try standing up to him every once in a while.”
“I’m sorry you see it that way, but I don’t agree with you or Grandma. A marriage is a partnership and—”
“Forget it,” Katie interrupted. “I need you to take me to yoga. You can come if you want. I mean, stay and do the class with me.”
“That sounds good.” She’d planned to take the day off and had already showered, but it was rare for Katie to actually invite her to do something and she wasn’t going to pass on the opportunity. “I just need a few minutes to finish this.”
***
Phil dropped his parents at the airport Friday morning for an early flight back to Florida. It had been three days since he’d received the last communication from Kim. The days of receiving picture updates were clearly a thing of the past. He was still experiencing the underlayer of unease regarding Liam, but knowing he’d be seeing him later that day abated the feeling for the most part.
He was in his study catching up on some work e-mails when Lina poked her head in the door at about three thirty. “Can you take Logan to Will’s, or do you want me to get one of the girls to drive him?”
“Is he going to be gone all weekend?” Logan disappearing every time he had Liam was getting old.
“He’ll be gone until the first. He’s going skiing in Vermont, remember?”
“Now I do. I can take him.”
“You’re starting to remind me of Katie with all the texting,” Phil said halfway to Will’s house, when Logan had barely looked up from his phone. “Is it the girl that you cut your hair for?”
“Tiffany,” Logan supplied.
“Tiffany, right. Tell me about her.”
“She’s cool. She isn’t in to drama like a lot of other girls.”
“Any sports?”
“She used to play soccer. Now she just goes to the gym.”
“Do you have a picture?” Phil asked as they came to a stop at a red light.
In an instant Logan held out his phone. “I gave her that necklace for Christmas.”
Phil smiled as he looked at the cute girl with big green eyes, not seeing any of the red flags her image had elicited in Lina. “She’s pretty.”
“She’s beautiful,” Logan corrected. He pulled his phone back, tapped on the display, and presented Phil with another picture. In this one she was standing on a beach in a black bikini.
“How serious is this?”
“I don’t know. Serious, I guess. I asked her to be my girlfriend.”
“You’re being careful?”
“Yeah.”
“Condoms?”
“Yes. We’re careful.”
“Always, Logan. One mistake would change the entire trajectory of your life.”
“I know, Dad.” He began to pat his knees in beat to the music streaming from the stereo.
Phil shook his head. His elf-pajama-wearing son was having sex. Lina would be crushed when she found out.
Ten minutes later, Phil was standing on Kim’s front porch. The house was dark, no light visible from the inside. He banged on the door and pressed the button for the doorbell to no avail. He felt a mixture of fear and annoyance. He took out his phone. It rang several times before switching to voice mail.
“Where are you?” he bit out. “I’m standing outside your place. It’s five o’clock on Friday and it’s my weekend. Call me as soon as you get this. I want Liam.” He ended the call before jogging back toward his car, the side of his jaw clenching and unclenching.
“Where’s Liam?” Lina asked when Phil arrived home ten minutes later.
“I don’t know.” He didn’t pause, continuing through the kitchen to the front of the house.
She turned off the sauce simmering on the stove and followed him back to his study, where he was sitting at his desk, typing away on his keyboard. His jaw was set, and she could feel the anger rolling off of him “What’s going on?”
“Liam wasn’t home. I need to look at our custody agreement.” His eyes were narrowed in concentration as he stared at the screen.
“Where is he?” She crossed her arms over her chest
“I have no idea.” He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his cell phone, immediately bringing it to his ear. “Where is he? What…? Why are you waiting until now to tell me this…? No…I didn’t say that. I said I would see him Friday—today. According to our agreement he’s mine this weekend. Where are you…? You took him out of the country without telling me…? Where is Liam?” He came to his feet. “Give me the address. I’ll go pick him up.” He scribbled something on a piece of paper. “Who is it…? Who…? So you don’t know them…? Why didn’t you tell me?” He was brushing past Lina as he headed back toward the kitchen. “That’s bullshit. You didn’t tell me you were planning to leave him…Let her know I’m on my way.” He shoved the phone back into his pocket.
“Phil, wait.” Lina caught up to him in the mudroom.
“I have to get Liam.” He continued into the garage.
“What’s going on? Where is he?”
“I have to go. We’ll talk when I get back.” He lowered himself into his car.
“No!” She grasped the top of the car door before he could close it, wedging herself into the space between the door and the car. “You’re not leaving without talking to me.”
“Lina.” He was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were turning white. “There’s something wrong. I can feel it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“With Liam. I need to get to him.”
Lina could see the distress on his face. “Let me get my coat. I’m coming with you.”
“Slow down,” Lina said a few minutes later. “You’re going thirty miles over the speed limit. It’s going to take a lot longer to get to him if you’re pulled over for speeding.”
“I knew there was something wrong. I’ve been feeling it off and on for days. I just thought I was imagining it.”
“Where is he?”
“She arranged to have someone watch him while she vacationed in Mexico. But apparently the woman came down with the flu, so she gave her the name of a friend of a friend. She left him there on his birthday.”
“His birthday?” Lina repeated, her stomach dropping. That meant she’d left him over Christmas.
“Like he’s a fucking dog,” he bit out.
“I’m sure he’s fine.” She rubbed his shoulder.
“When she offered to let me have him for Christmas, she didn’t tell me it was because she was planning to leave him.”
“I know.” She began to knead the back of his neck. “How far do we have to go?”
“East Baltimore. Another thirty minutes.”
“Is that near Hopkins?”
“Yes.”
It wasn’t the worst section of Baltimore, but it certainly wasn’t one of the better areas. She felt her first jitters of unease. “I’m sure he’s fine.”
***
The blood began pumping harder in Phil’s veins as he reached the assigned street. He was only forty minutes from his home, but he may as well have been in a different world. Even in the dark he could see the decay of most of the homes. Lina’s nails were biting into the skin of his forearm through his coat.
“That one looks cute.” Lina nodded to a house that looked like a flower among a field of weeds, with a brick front and freshly painted shutters. A nativity scene, complete with a lit-up manger, covered most of the small front yard.
“This is it.” He slowed next to a white mailbox beside a gravel driveway.
“How do you know? I don’t see an address.”
“That’s three six eight,” he said, nodding back at the house they’d just passed. “This has to be three six nine.” He turned into the driveway, his headlights illuminating a pickup truck and a small white ranch.
Phil noticed a man sitting on top of a picnic table in front of the house smoking a cigarette when he began to exit his car. “Come on,” he said to Lina. “You’re not waiting for me.”
He took Lina’s hand as they walked up the driveway toward the house, the sound of the gravel under their feet piercing the night air. “Is this the Bailer residence?” he asked the man who was watching his approach.
“Who’s asking?”
“Phil Hunter. I believe my son, Liam, is here.”
“Who’s she?” His gaze had shifted to Lina.
“My wife, not that it’s relevant to my question. Is my son inside?”
“If she’s your wife, who’s the woman who dropped him here?”
Phil ignored him, pressing his hand into the small of Lina’s back and leading her past the picnic table and up the stairs to the front porch.
His knock was answered by a heavyset woman with bleached-blonde hair badly in need of a touch-up. “May I help you?” Her hand was immediately at her hair, as if trying to make it presentable.
“I came for my son,” Phil said.
“Liam?” She frowned.
“Yes.”
“I’m supposed to watch him until the first.”
“His mother should have texted you. I have him for the weekend.”
“Let me just check my phone,” she said before walking away from the door.
“Christ.” He plowed his fingers back through his hair.
“Relax.” Lina ran her hand down his back. “We’ll have him in a second.”
The woman returned within moments holding her cell phone. “You’re Phil?”
“Yes,” he answered shortly. “Where’s my son?”
“I was just fixin’ to feed him, but—”
“We’ll feed him. Would you just take me to him?”
Phil followed Lina into a small foyer and then down a narrow hallway to the kitchen in the back of the house. His heart constricted when he saw Liam lying on his back on the dirty linoleum floor in only a diaper, sucking on a bottle. Another boy, who looked to be about two, also clad only in a diaper, was strapped into a high chair, eating Goldfish from the tray.
“Hey, buddy.” Phil kneeled down beside Liam.
Liam’s eyes widened, the bottle slipping from his mouth as he scrambled up. “Dadda!”
Phil smiled. “Hey there.”
“Dadda!” He threw himself into his father, burying his face in his chest as he began to cry.
“It’s okay.” Phil rose to his feet, cradling Liam in his arms. “Shhh,” he whispered, his mouth against Liam’s head. He smelled like a mixture of sour milk and cheese.
Liam reared back his head, pointing his small hand at the other boy as he babbled something incoherent through his tears. There was a small bruise and a scratch beneath one of his eyes, and his hair was crusty on one side with some type of dried food.
“He’s probably trying to tell you that they had a few scuffles. Adam here isn’t real keen on sharin’ his toys, especially considering he just got them for Christmas. Liam wouldn’t stop taking them. I finally had to hide them all. They been getting on better since.”
“Scuffle?” Phil repeated, looking at the other boy, who was watching him curiously as he stuffed the crackers in his mouth.
“Just kid stuff. Nothin’ too serious. Henri said we should let them work it out—that they needed to establish who was alpha. It was fine when they were just hittin’ and pullin’ hair, but once Adam would start bitin’ him, I’d make Henri pull them apart.”
“Biting him?” Lina gasped. She was beside Phil, looking at Liam’s back. “Oh my God.”
“He’s twice his size,” Phil bit out. The blood rushed to Phil’s head as he saw at least three bite marks on Liam’s back. The worst was on his right shoulder. There was a perfect imprint of a set of little teeth, the skin around it bruised.
“Henri called Adam the heavyweight and Liam the welterweight. He loves boxing.”
“Let’s go,” Phil said to Lina as he headed out of the kitchen. He needed to leave before he took his frustration out on the demon in the high chair or the moronic woman who’d been watching his son.
“It didn’t break the skin or nothin’, but I put Bactine on it just in case and some Neosporin,” the woman said, hurrying after them. “Adam’s always been a bit of a biter, but there’s never any lastin’ damage.”
“Phil, wait,” Lina said. “We need his things. He isn’t even dressed.”
Phil shrugged out of his coat as they reached the foyer and bundled it around Liam, who was still crying. He pushed open the door, waiting for Lina to precede him out before following.
“So, he’ll be back Sunday?” the woman called out after them.
“Are you fucking crazy? No, we won’t be back!” Phil exploded.
“Stop,” Lina whispered.
“But I’ve only been paid half. Who’s going to pay me the rest?”
“What’s goin’ on?” the man sitting on the picnic table asked.
Energy surged through Phil when he saw the sadistic bastard who’d taken pleasure in his son’s abuse. He turned to Lina, pressing Liam into her chest. “Take him,” he bit out.
“Phil, no. Think of Liam. He’s upset enough.”
“Lina—”
“No.” She clutched his arm, propelling him forward. “Leave it. Just keep walking. Don’t even look at him.”
They drove directly to the hospital. Liam became so hysterical when the nurse tried to take him from Phil, the doctor let Phil continue to hold him while he performed his examination.
“There’s just one spot that penetrated his skin,” the doctor said several minutes later, after cleaning the area around the three bite marks on his back. “It’s rare for an infection to ensue, but you should keep your eye on it. I’ll prescribe an antibiotic cream as a precaution. You can apply it to the spot on his shoulder as well as the superficial scratch on his face. I’m also prescribing a mild hydrocortisone cream for his diaper rash. Do your best to keep his skin as clean and as dry as possible. If it gets worse, take him to his regular pediatrician.” He took off his rubber gloves. “And I would recommend finding a new babysitter.”
It was almost eleven when they finally arrived home, complete with Liam’s prescriptions and a fresh package of diapers. Katie, who was stretched out on the couch with Matt, jumped up and met them as they came out of the mudroom.
“Liam!”
“No!” he cried, fisting Phil’s shirt. “No, Ay. No, Ay.”
“It’s okay.” Phil pressed his lips to the top of Liam’s head. “Daddy isn’t letting you go.”
Katie took a step back, her brows pulled together in concern. “What’s wrong with him? And why is he wearing that weird thing?”
“It’s a hospital gown,” Lina said before briefly telling her and Matt, who had joined them from the family room, what happened.
“Jesus,” Matt said.
“Would you make him a bottle?” Phil asked Lina. “I’m going to take him upstairs.” Liam’s face was buried in his chest and he was continuing to fist Phil’s shirt, clearly afraid Phil was going to hand him off to someone.
When Phil dropped down onto the couch in the master bedroom, Liam relaxed a bit, releasing the material of Phil’s sweater and looking around. “You’re safe,” Phil whispered. “Daddy is never going to let anyone hurt you again. I promise.” He felt another surge of anger. He’d been experiencing them off and on all evening. This time it was toward Kim.
The sound of the door opening preceded Lina’s arrival. “One bottle,” she said in a soothing voice as she approached.
“No!” Liam once again gripped Phil’s shirt, turning his face away from her.
“I didn’t even know until ten minutes ago he could say ‘no,’” Phil said. “Thank you.”
“Do you think I should leave you alone?” Lina asked. “He only seems to want you near him.”
“No. I need you. I’m so fucking angry. How could she have left him there?”
“Don’t think about that right now, not while you’re holding him. He needs you to be calm for him.”
He took a deep breath. Liam took the bottle from him and leaned against his chest as he brought it to his mouth. “He needs a bath. He smells like spoiled milk.”
“Do you want me to get it ready?” She stroked her hand over his knee.
“You don’t mind?”
“Of course not.”
Liam, who normally loved baths, began to cry as soon as Phil tried to set him in the water, once again fisting his shirt. “Come on, buddy, you smell. Let me just give you a bath.” He forcibly pried him loose and placed him in the tub.
“Dadda! Dadda!” Liam howled, reaching for him.
“I’m right here,” he said, kneeling beside the tub. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Liam’s cries only grew louder as he refused to stay still, attempting to climb out of the tub and back to Phil. “Dadda!”
“Just take a shower with him,” Lina said from behind him.
“A shower?” He pulled Liam from the tub, cradling his slippery, wet body against his side. When he turned to Lina, he could see tears in her eyes.
The shower worked. Phil was able to clean Liam’s body and hair, and when he was done Lina helped dry him off and then they were dressing him in elf-patterned pajamas that matched the ones Logan had been wearing all week. Liam stood in the center of the bathroom, his dark hair slicked back, staring down at the elves on his shirt.
Phil felt himself relaxing. “Now those I get.” He took Lina’s hand, lifting it to his mouth. “Thanks, baby.” He kissed the inside of her wrist.
***
When Lina woke up, she was alone in bed. She squinted at the alarm clock. It was two thirty. She found Phil exactly where she expected to, standing beside Liam’s crib, peering down at him. He hadn’t even bothered to get dressed, wearing only his boxer briefs.
She stepped up beside him, stroking her hand over the smooth skin of his muscled back. “He’s fine,” she whispered, looking at Liam, who was lying on his back sound asleep with his little arms curved above his head. “Come back to bed.”
“His life isn’t going to be as easy as our kids’, Lina.”
She knew he was right. “He still has you.”
“How did that work out for him this week?”
“You didn’t know. It’s not your fault.”
“That’s no consolation to me. I’m his father. It’s my responsibility to protect him, and I didn’t. What kind of life is he going to have with a mother like her?”
“My mom would say he chose this path, this life.”
“God.” He sighed. “If only I could believe what Alice believes. Wouldn’t that make life easier? Our children have never spent a minute in the care of a stranger. They probably don’t even know people live the way those people do. How many times would that kid have bitten him?”
“Don’t.” She wrapped her arms around his middle, leaning into his warmth as he curved his arm around her shoulders. “You got him out of there.”
“How could she have left him there?”
“I don’t know.” It was beyond her comprehension. “Come on,” she whispered, taking his hand. “We don’t want to wake him.”
Lina thought she’d heard a baby. She opened her eyes and looked around her bedroom. Another cry interrupted the still morning, and she remembered Liam. She untangled herself from Phil’s warm body, slipped on her robe, and quietly left the room.
Liam was standing in the crib, his little hands gripping the sides of the rail, when Lina opened the door to the nursery. “Dadda,” he called out.
“No. Daddy’s sleeping.”
“Mama.”
Lina sucked in her breath. “No, but I’m someone’s mommy.” She crossed to the crib. “Hi,” she whispered. Her heart tugged as she looked into eyes so similar to Phil’s. “How long have you been awake? Do we have our happy boy back?”
He was staring at her intently, like he was again trying to memorize her face. “Mama.”
She felt a lump forming in her throat. “No,” she whispered. “I’m Lina.”
“Mama,” he repeated. He touched her mouth with his hand.
She brushed away a lone tear that slipped from her eye. If only it were true and Kim had never happened. “I think someone needs his diaper changed.”
***
Phil slowly became conscious of a tap on his face. He swiped at it with his hand, coming into contact with something hard and plastic.
A high-pitched “Dadda!” preceded a hard smack to the center of his face.
“Oww.” He groaned, opening his eyes.
“Don’t hurt Daddy,” Lina said, laughing softly. She took the bottle from Liam before he could strike again.
“Dadda!” Liam shrieked, a wide smile lighting his face when he realized his father was awake.
“Hey, buddy.” Relief flooded through him, knowing the upset from the previous day was gone from Liam’s mind.
“Dadda.” Liam crawled onto his chest. “Dadda,” he said again before giving him an openmouthed kiss on his cheek.
“That was so sweet,” Lina said. “He kissed you.”
“He needs a little work on the delivery.” Phil wiped the slobber from his cheek with the back of his hand. “You should have woken me. You didn’t have to take care of him.”
“I wanted to.” She was lying on her side, propped up on her elbow. “He’s eaten and read a book and done a puzzle.” She leaned forward and brushed her lips over Phil’s. “Good morning.” She kissed him again.
“Mama,” Liam said, pointing at Lina. He began to bounce up and down on Phil’s chest.
“I can’t get him to stop calling me that.”
“He knows a good thing when he sees it. Don’t you?” he asked Liam as he lifted him in the air, the muscles in his arms and shoulders straining beneath his skin. “I’m going to show you a proper kiss, okay?” He brought him down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Now kiss Mommy.” He held him out toward Lina.
“Phil, don’t call me that.”
He smiled when Liam gave her an openmouthed kiss. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not.”
He caught a flicker of sadness in her eyes and felt bad for teasing her. “I’m sorry.”
“I think his diaper rash is already getting better. I applied all of his ointments.”
He let Liam fall toward his chest before immediately thrusting him back up into the air, eliciting deep chuckles from his delighted son.
“Thanks, baby.” He brought him down and kissed his nose before launching him up again.
“I’m going to run out to the mall and buy him some clothes. He doesn’t even have a coat.”