Chapter Three
“Phil moved back home yesterday,” Lina told her sister, Adele, the following morning. She was sitting in front of Adele’s desk at Martins, the real-estate company where Adele worked as an agent and Lina worked as a stager.
Adele lifted her gaze from her laptop. “You don’t expect that to come as a surprise to me, do you? You weren’t even attempting to move on.”
“I tried. I just. I didn’t want to.”
“So how is it going to work with the baby? Is he going to start bringing him to your house?”
“I don’t know.” Lina’s stomach twisted at the thought of his child. “We haven’t discussed it.”
“You haven’t discussed it?” Adele’s already large eyes grew larger. “You’ve agreed to take him back without knowing how his son fits in to the equation?”
“It’s not important. We’ll make it work.”
“I think it is important. Very important. And just for the record, I still think Phil’s an asshole.”
“I know what you think of him. You’ve told me repeatedly, but I would hope since I’ve decided to forgive him you could keep your negative opinions to yourself, at least around me.”
“I can’t make any promises.” Adele came to her feet. “I need more coffee. Do you need more coffee?”
“No.” Lina felt a wave of sadness as she watched Adele walk away, hating the estrangement between her sister and Phil. Lina knew that in addition to being outraged for her at Phil’s infidelity, Adele felt personally betrayed. Because of their nonexistent father, Phil had been the most consistent male presence in all of their lives. From the moment he’d begun dating Lina at sixteen, he’d taken on the role of patriarch of Lina’s family, warning other males to treat the Rayburn girls with respect, giving them life advice whether they wanted it or not, and handling the physical chores around the house, like shoveling their driveway during snowstorms and mowing their lawn.
He’d walked Adele down the aisle at her first wedding and offered a heartfelt toast at her second. He was there when Lina’s younger sister, Shiloh, called him to come get her in the middle of the night after a fight with her husband or when she was stranded on the side of the road with a flat tire and no spare. For two and a half decades he’d been the most stable, reliable male presence in their lives.
***
Phil was in court all morning, so it was almost noon when he reached Hurte, Dunlop, and Smith, the Baltimore law office where he’d been practicing for eighteen years, the last thirteen as a full partner.
He’d barely made it out of the firm’s plush lobby when he saw Wayne Hurte, one of the firm’s founding partners and a close personal friend. As soon as he saw the smile on Wayne’s face, he knew he’d heard he was back with Lina.
“The best fucking news I’ve heard in years,” Wayne said before engulfing Phil in his arms. “It’s fantastic.” He kept his arm around Phil’s shoulders as he ushered him into his office. “Diane cried when she called to tell me. She’s been depressed since the two of you split. It will be nice to have my wife back.” He was at the bar on the far end of his office.
“It’s only noon,” Phil pointed out.
“I wouldn’t care if it were eight a.m. We’re celebrating.” Moments later he was handing Phil a glass of scotch. “To second chances,” he said before tapping his glass.
Phil took a swallow of the scotch he hadn’t intended to drink. “I don’t know if I’m ever going to come down from this high.”
“How did Kim react?”
“Thank you. That did it,” Phil said dryly. “I haven’t told her. It’s been two days. I’ve got to get back to work.” He finished the scotch and set his empty glass on the edge of Wayne’s desk. “Thanks for the drink.”
When he reached his office, his secretary, Anne, nodded toward the phone. “Kim’s on the line,” she whispered. She always whispered when she mentioned Kim, as if she were helping him keep a secret. Her hand was covering the mouthpiece of the phone.
“Put her through,” he said, not slowing his stride. Moments later he was dropping down into the chair behind his desk and lifting the receiver to his ear. “Yes?”
“He just had his sixteen-week appointment with the pediatrician. One hundredth percentile for height and weight and excellent eye-hand coordination. The doctor said he’s a big boy. He takes after his daddy.”
“You couldn’t have texted this?”
“I just took a chance you might be in.”
“I told you to only call my cell.”
“I tried. You didn’t answer.”
“That doesn’t give you permission to call my office. I’ve got to go. I’ll see him Wednesday night as planned.” He ended the call. “Anne?” he called out. “Would you come in here?”
“Yes?” Anne asked after stepping into the room.
“Unless she’s calling from a hospital, it’s not important. Okay?”
She nodded, a blush settling over her face. “Sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I just wanted to make that clear. I don’t want you to have to wonder if I want to take her call. I don’t. And you don’t have to bother to take a message. She has my cell number. She can leave a message directly with me. You don’t need to be involved.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “So, I shouldn’t even tell you that she’s called?”
“No.”
“Got it.” She began to turn away.
“One more thing,” he said, waiting for her to return her attention to him before continuing. “I’m back with my wife. Would you update my address information?”
“Yes.” She smiled. “I’ll do it right now. Congratulations. I mean, I know it’s none of my business, but I’m very happy to hear that. It’s wonderful news.”
“It is,” he agreed. He felt a stab of guilt as he watched her leave his office. He probably owed her an apology. She’d never mentioned it—she was too professional for that—but he had no doubt she’d known about the affair long before it became the main topic of gossip around the firm. She’d had a front-row seat to Kim’s unfettered access to him. He could recall many evenings when she’d duck her head into his office to say good night and Kim would be sitting on the edge of his desk or on the couch, waiting for him to finish whatever work was in front of him.
***
Lina was in her bathroom putting on the final touches of her makeup later that evening when Phil appeared in the doorway. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “Did you forget about Logan’s concert?”
“No.” He slowly shook his head. “I’m here to pick up my wife.” He stopped behind her, cupping her shoulders as he lowered his mouth to the side of her neck. “Are you ready?” He brushed his lips over her skin.
“You just drove forty minutes out of your way so you could turn around and drive back?” His office was ten minutes from Gilman, the all-boys high school Logan attended.
“I came home to pick up my wife.”
“I’m capable of driving myself, you know.” She was secretly pleased, not having relished the thought of navigating Baltimore’s Beltway during rush hour.
“I know what you’re capable of.” He continued to run his mouth along her neck, the abrasiveness of his scruff rough against her skin.
She closed her eyes, leaning her body back in to his. “You’re going to make us late.”
“I think we can be a little late.”
They were fifteen minutes late. Phil took a cursory glance through the window in the door, promptly opened it, and ushered Lina inside. The performance hadn’t started. The headmaster was onstage, giving his usual spiel about the fine traditions of the school and the need for continued financial support from both current families and the alumni. If Lina had been alone, she would have quietly slipped into the closest seat, not wanting to draw attention to her late arrival.
Not Phil. He walked into the room the way he walked into every room, like he owned it. He was born believing the world was his for the taking. His confidence was effortless. Where Lina wasn’t comfortable with a new situation until she had time to analyze her surroundings and figure out how she fit in, Phil never worried about fitting in. He expected others to adapt to him.
Lina felt the curious stares as they walked down the aisle, her hand held firmly in Phil’s. They’d been estranged when Logan started at Gilman in the fall, so it was their first time attending a function together. She wasn’t sure which parents knew their history, but she had no doubt there was going to be disappointment among the single mothers. Until his affair, she’d been oblivious to the attention he drew from the opposite sex. Now she couldn’t stop herself from noticing the appreciative stares Phil was constantly receiving from other women.
Phil located two empty seats about ten rows back from the stage. They weren’t next to each other—there were four occupied seats between them—but without Phil even having to make the request, people automatically shuffled around until the two empty seats were beside each other. They ended up in two of the best seats in the auditorium. The headmaster concluded his remarks as they sat down.
“Perfect timing,” Phil said.
“Shh,” Lina scolded.
He captured her hand in his, bringing it to rest on his thigh. “What is this again?”
“No talking,” she whispered. “It’s starting.” It was hard to believe they’d been apart. It felt so natural to be sitting beside him with her hand on his thigh.
It was Gilman’s annual talent show, which turned out to be surprisingly funny. Logan’s act was the last of the evening. He’d barely mentioned it at home, so Lina was completely unprepared when her six-foot-two son stepped onstage dressed as a little girl, in a white leotard and a red-and-white polka-dot skirt, complete with black patent-leather shoes big enough to accommodate his size-thirteen feet and a red bow on top of his head. Beside him were Brian Drayton and Will Ellis, two of his closest friends, looking every bit as ridiculous.
The entire audience was roaring with laughter before they uttered a word. The boys stood side by side next to three evenly spaced microphones, looking completely serious until the laughter died down. Then they began to sing “I’m a Little Teapot.” They sang the song in perfect harmony, even tilting their heads and swaying their hips at the same moments.
Like much of the audience, Lina laughed until she cried. The only person who laughed harder was Phil, who she knew would have fallen out of his chair if his size had allowed it. There just wasn’t enough room.
As soon as the performance ended, Lina escaped to the restroom to touch up her makeup, having no doubt mascara was running down her cheeks. As she dabbed a wet towel beneath her eyes, a mother she knew from Logan’s lacrosse team stopped beside her.
“I couldn’t help notice you come in with Phil. Are you back together?”
“Yes,” Lina answered. She could feel the curious glances from the other women waiting for open stalls. She had no desire to discuss her marriage in a bathroom filled with mothers of her son’s classmates.
“Good for you. You’re much more forgiving than I could ever be.”
“I guess we’re all different.” Lina continued to touch up her makeup.
“What about the baby? Is he going to see it or—"
“Yes,” Lina interrupted. “Excuse me.” She stepped around her and left the bathroom, plowing directly into a hard body. “I’m so sorry,” she began, “I didn’t…” The words died in her throat when she looked up at Nick Drayton.
“Lina.”
Lina’s face heated. “Nick.” It had been only two days since she’d see him, but it may as well have been a year, so much had changed.
“That was funny, wasn’t it?” he asked.
“Oh my God.” She pressed her hand into her chest. “I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed that hard. I can already tell my stomach muscles are going to be sore tomorrow.”
“I saw you arrive with your husband.”
“Yes.” She felt bad for not telling him beforehand. “I’m sorry. I meant to call you and let you know.”
“It’s okay. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“I don’t know if that’s true.” She’d been semi-dating him.
“How about our sons in dresses?”
***
Phil was near the punch bowl, conversing with several other fathers about the lacrosse team, when he spotted Lina across the lobby. She was laughing, and his first thought was how fucking beautiful she was. Then he realized she was talking to Nick Drayton. In an instant the lingering humor he’d been feeling since watching Logan dance and sing in a dress disappeared.
He navigated his way through the throng of people, willing himself to keep it together. Drayton saw him when he was still several yards away, the smile he’d been wearing fading from his face.
Phil came up behind Lina, capturing her hips with his hands and pulling her back in to the heat of his body. “Are you ready?” he asked against her ear, his eyes meeting Drayton’s.
“Phil, you scared me.” She glanced back at him.
He slid one of his hands over her stomach, pressing her back into him still farther. “Let’s find Logan and go home.”
“Lina, always a pleasure,” Nick said politely, offering Lina a tight smile before walking off.
Phil was watching him walk away when Lina turned in his arms.
“Was that necessary?” she whispered.
“I don’t like you talking to him.”
“You don’t? I couldn’t tell,” she said sarcastically. “I’m surprised you didn’t throw me over your shoulder and carry me out of here.”
“Can we go?” He didn’t want to fight with her. He just needed to get away from Drayton.
“I’m mad at you,” she told him as he led her toward the exit, his hand curved possessively around her waist.
“I know.” He decided to let her cool off, not speaking to her again until they were in his car. “Did you text Logan?” he asked.
“Yes. He’s on his way.” She was staring out the window.
“Maybe we should move Logan to McDonogh, get a clean break from the guy.”
Lina’s eyes widened. “Move Logan from a school he loves because you don’t want to have to see a man who at one time had feelings for me?”
“He was in love with you.”
“You have a baby with another woman, Phil. Oh my God! I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation!”
“Calm down.”
“No! I’m not going to calm down. This is insane. I never even slept with him. For the rest of my life I have to be in the same orbit as a woman you fucked for four months. I think you can handle having to run into Nick Drayton from time to time.”
***
It wasn’t quite six when Phil arrived at Kim’s apartment on Wednesday evening. The nanny, a Hispanic woman in her early fifties, greeted him warmly. “Come in. Come in. I leave Mr. Liam in high chair. First time,” she explained before hurrying back toward the kitchen.
Phil slowly followed, loosening his tie as he made his way to the kitchen located in the back of the two-bedroom condo. He felt a rush of feeling when he saw Liam sitting in a high chair, banging his fists on the tray.
“First time in high chair,” Maria repeated. “Doctor say he strong enough.”
“Hey there.” Phil smiled when Liam’s gaze focused on him.
Liam rewarded him with a smile of his own. “Baah, gaah, gaah,” he babbled.
“Yes. Papa,” Maria said. “Your papa.”
“Hey, tough guy.” Phil trailed his fingers back through Liam’s silky, dark hair.
“You feed him.” Maria pulled out a chair for Phil. “Eat real food. Formula no enough. Doctor say food too.”
Moments later Phil was sitting at the table spooning a blend of rice, cereal, and applesauce into his son’s eager mouth. “You like that?”
“He loves,” Maria said. “Doctor say he good. Healthy.”
“Did you take him to the doctor?” Phil asked. After Kim’s phone call, he’d assumed Kim had.
“Sí. Yes.” She nodded. “I take. Miss Kim working.”
“I thought you didn’t drive.” He’d agreed to pay her subway fare as part of the employment agreement.
“We take bus.”
“The bus?” Phil frowned. “You took him on a bus?”
“Sí. It fine.”
“No.” Phil shook his head. “I don’t want him on a bus. You can take an Uber or cab. I’ll pay, okay?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “No more bus.”
He continued to feed Liam while Maria cleaned the kitchen, smiling as Liam opened his mouth as wide as a little bird. “Easy, buddy,” he chuckled when Liam grabbed the spoon and began trying to pry it away from him.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He was giving Liam another spoonful of food when he heard the sound of the front door, followed by the clicking of heels on the hardwood floor. He felt a bubbling of annoyance in his chest, knowing Kim was arriving home two hours earlier than normal on a night she knew he was visiting.
“Hello,” she said, breezing into the room. In a slim-fitting skirt and a sleeveless top, her body was fit. There was no evidence that she’d had a baby four months earlier. “What a day.” Her eyes lingered on Phil before shifting to Liam. “Hi.” She touched Liam’s cheek and he greeted her with a smile. “You can go, Maria.” She crossed to the refrigerator. “Do you want something to drink, Phil? A beer? Scotch?”
“No.”
She poured herself a glass of wine before leaning back against the counter, her gaze on Phil. With large green eyes and high cheekbones, her blonde hair falling in soft waves to her shoulders, she looked more like a model than a lawyer.
All Phil saw was the woman who’d almost succeeded in destroying his life.
“He slept through the night for the first time last night, thank God,” Kim said.
“Good night,” he said to Maria who had stopped beside the high chair to kiss Liam’s cheek. “Thank you.”
“I’m going to go change,” Kim said. “Are you okay here?”
“Yep.” Phil didn’t look away from Liam.
“I think he’s done,” Kim said when she returned several minutes later. She’d changed into leggings and a loose T-shirt. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail. “Do you want to take off your jacket before you hold him?” She unlatched Liam from his high chair and took him to the kitchen sink to clean off his hands and face.
The scene looked so familiar, and yet all of his other memories starred Lina, not Kim. Phil couldn’t get used to the idea that this woman and not Lina had mothered his child. He came to his feet and shrugged off his jacket before placing it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. Moments later, he was taking Liam in his arms.
“Baah,” Liam said. He began to pat Phil’s mouth.
“He’s starting to really have control of his hands.” Kim was standing close enough for him to make out the familiar scent of her perfume.
A smell that had at one time turned him on now had the opposite effect. “I’m going to take him into the other room. You can do whatever you need to do. I’ve got him for the next hour and a half or so.”
Phil was sitting on the couch in the family room with Liam on his lap when Kim joined him less than an hour later, lowering herself onto the cushion beside them.
“You’re a natural.”
“I have experience.” Phil didn’t take his gaze from Liam who was fingering his watch. “He’s getting tired.”
“Are you coming on Saturday or Sunday this week?”
“Neither.” He was taking Lina away for the weekend.
“You’re going to skip two weekends in a row?”
“I’m here right now. He doesn’t know the difference.”
“I do. It’s nice to have a break sometimes.”
“Then why are you here?” he asked. “Why aren’t you taking a break tonight?”
“I’m talking about the weekends.”
“Maria was with him for ten hours last Saturday. I saw her invoice.”
“I had to work and it makes me feel guilty leaving him with her so much. I don’t feel guilty when he’s with you. You’re his father.”
He didn’t bother to point out that she barely left the room let alone her apartment during one of his visits. “I’m busy this weekend.”
“Busy how?”
It was none of her business but he decided to tell her anyway, hoping it would end her ridiculous fantasy that they’d one day be a family. “I have plans with my wife both days.”