I padded downstairs and into the kitchen. I’d managed to get through the night without any issues, which I was grateful for. I knew that my Aunt and Uncle were aware of my nightmares, but I was still anxious about disturbing everyone and them realising how screwed up I really was.
“Morning sleepy head, or should I say afternoon,” Savannah said laughing.
She was sat at the kitchen table studying, books and papers spread across the whole table.
“Afternoon?” I asked puzzled. “What time is it?” I hadn’t looked at my phone when I’d woken up, I’d just come straight downstairs. My stomach was telling me it was breakfast time, though. I never normally ate breakfast; it must have been the country air making me hungry.
“It’s nearly twelve. You must have been exhausted from the flight yesterday.”
I picked up the coffee pot and found a mug. I held it up to Savannah. “You want one?”
“I’m good thanks. I’ve had one not too long ago.”
“Sorry I’ve slept so long. You’re right I must have been tired.”
“No worries. I’ve caught up with some assignments. Help yourself to some food. I’m just going to pack all this away.” She said gesturing to the messy table.
I opened a few cupboards looking for the cereal. I pulled out the Cheerios and found a bowl. “Do you think we’ll have time for a ride today if were heading into Marble Falls?” I asked Savannah, opening the fridge to grab the milk.
“Probably not, but we’ll have plenty of time for riding while you’re here. We need to get you those cowboy boots for tonight.” She said wiggling her eyebrows at me.
I laughed rolling my eyes at her. I was secretly looking forward to getting some. My parents had bought me a pair the last time we were here, but I’d grown out of them. The ones you could get at home weren’t as good, so I’d never replaced them.
“I’ll be quick then, I’ll just eat this,” I said holding up my bowl. “It won’t take me long to get ready.” Savannah nodded as she packed her things away.
I sat down at the breakfast bar looking out of the window as I ate my cereal. The sun was shining, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It really was beautiful. I couldn’t wait to get out and explore. It looked like a lot had changed since the last time I was here. The retreat side of the ranch was much bigger. Uncle Ryan had expanded after he had taken over, and it looked like they could accommodate more guests than before. I’d noticed the extra log cabins last night.
I was guessing that Aunt Claire, Uncle Ryan, and Brody were somewhere on the ranch, doing whatever it was that they did. I knew that they employed staff, but all three of them were heavily involved with the day to day running of things.
I hopped down from the breakfast bar and quickly washed my bowl and spoon in the sink. “I’ll just run and get ready Sav, I won’t be long,” I called out as I ran upstairs.
“No rush Lib. I’ll be waiting.” Savannah called after me.
Twenty minutes later I was back downstairs. I’d had a quick shower, throwing my hair up into a messy bun and pulling on some denim shorts and a top. I’d called my parents while I was upstairs to let them know that I was okay. I’d told them that Savannah was waiting on me and promised to call them later.
“I’m ready,” I said finding Savannah waiting in the hall for me.
“Great. Let’s get going.’ She said to me holding up her car keys.
I followed her outside feeling anxious about having to go in the car again. She stopped in front of a red Volkswagen Beetle.
“You okay Lib? You’ve gone a bit pale.” She asked me looking concerned.
“I’m fine.” I lied, trying to brush away my nerves. “Just a bit hot I think.”
“Jump in, I’ve got air con, that should cool you down.”
I climbed into the passenger seat and quickly put on my seatbelt. I concentrated on my breathing, counting my breaths in and out in my head. Savannah got in and looked over at me.
“Are you sure you’re okay, Libby? Savannah asked, looking at me.
“I can get a bit anxious when I’m in a car, since… since the accident,” I told her quietly.
“Oh Lib, you should have said. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Not really; I’ll be okay. I thought you knew, I know my Mum told your Mum so…” I trailed off embarrassed.
“She probably didn’t want to say anything in case you didn’t want people to know. Do you want to stay here and go for that horse ride instead?”
“No!” I almost shouted. “I want to go be able to go in a car without having a panic attack. I’ll be okay. I’m better than I was just after the accident. The more I do it, the better I’ll be, I hope. Anyway, we have to go, I want my cowboy boots.” I said with a small smile.
“I knew you wanted some cowboy boots!” She exclaimed hitting the steering wheel with her hand. “Well, it’s not a long way to town, only about ten minutes.” She gave me a small smile, and I could sense that she wanted to ask me something. “How are you really doing after the accident?” She paused. “I know you’ve come here to get away from everything at home, but I want you to know, if you need to talk about Mia, or the accident, or anything, then I’m happy to listen. I know I never met Mia, but you talked so much about her last time you were here, I feel like I knew her a little bit.”
I decided then that I wasn’t going to give my normal response when someone asked me how I was. I wasn’t going to put on a brave face and pretend everything was okay. Savannah was my friend, and I needed a friend right now.
“I’m not okay, not really. I pretend I am when people ask me, but that’s more for their benefit. It’s easier to say yes, I’m fine. I miss her Savannah, so much. We did everything together, and now I’ve dropped out of university I’m just a little lost and lonely. My parents are great, but I can tell they don’t really know what to say to me to help. They are hoping this trip will somehow get me back to my old self.”
“I can’t even begin to understand what you’ve been through Libby, but one thing I do know is that you don’t have to pretend with me. If you feel like crying, then cry, if you feel like laughing then laugh. Hell, if you feel like skinny dipping in the lake then I’m with you! I’ll be here for you whatever.”
Tears filled my eyes. I’d missed having a friend. I’d shut everyone out at home, even my parents. No one could replace Mia, but it was nice to have someone my own age to talk to and do things with.
“Thank you. You don’t realise how much that means to me, Savannah.” I leaned across the centre console and gave her a hug.
“You don’t need to thank me Lib.” She said hugging me back. “Come on, let’s go and get those boots!”
I laughed as we pulled away from the house and down the driveway. Savannah was right, the journey into Marble Falls wasn’t a long one, and I counted my breaths in and out all the way. We parked outside a row of shops, and I got out of the car, relieved that we were here.
Marble Falls was beautiful; the town was set around the stunning Lake Marble Falls and amid green rolling hills. I glanced up and down the road we’d parked on. There were various shops ranging from coffee shops with tables and chairs out on the pavement, to shops selling furniture and handmade fudge. I made a mental note to visit the one selling the homemade fudge. American flags hung above the shops, and bunting was strung all along the street, as if there had been a recent street party or town fair.
Savannah grabbed my hand and pulled me along, pointing out her favourite coffee shop and clothes shop along the way. We came to a stop outside a shop called Blair’s Western Wear.
“Come on, this is the best place in town for cowboy boots. Most of mine are from here.” She said excitedly.
I let her lead me inside passing racks of jeans and shirts. At the back of the shop, there were rows and rows of cowboy boots. I’d never seen so many. How was I ever going to choose? I could see now why Savannah had so many pairs!
“Hey, Rose.” I heard Savannah call out.
I turned to see Savannah talking to a very pretty girl with long blonde hair.
“Hi Savannah, you’re not here for more boots, are you?” Rose asked, surprise evident in her voice. “You bought a pair about two weeks ago.”
Savannah laughed. “No, not for me, for my cousin. Rose this is Libby, Libby, Rose.” Savannah gestured between us with her hand. “Rose is one of my friends from school, she’s coming out with us tonight.”
“Hi Rose,” I said. “Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too Libby. You’re from England?” She asked.
“Yeah. I’m over visiting for a few weeks.” I replied smiling at her.
“So, you’re after some cowboy boots then. I’m guessing someone here is forcing their cowboy boot obsession onto you.” She said laughing.
“Hey!” Savannah shouted. “I’m standing right here. I can hear you.” She pouted.
I laughed. I liked Rose already. “Well, it did start out with Sav insisting I have a pair for our night out. I must admit though I’m quite excited to get some.”
“Have a look and see what you like, then give me a shout, and I’ll fetch your size,” Rose said, disappearing to serve a young couple while we had a look.
There were so many pairs I didn’t really know where to start. “Savannah help! There’s too many to choose from.” I walked over to where she was looking at a pair of red and black boots.
“Aren’t these gorgeous Lib.” She held the boot out for me to see.
“They are, but I think they are a bit bright for me.” I looked around spying a tan pair that I thought would go with a lot of my dresses and shorts. “What about these?” I held them up so she could see them.
“Oooo I like those.” She gushed. “Try them on!”
I laughed, I’d never seen anyone get so excited over cowboy boots before. “Okay, I’ll go and grab Rose.”
When I tried them on they were perfect. They were tan on the foot and then a slightly lighter tan colour up my leg. Tan and blonde according to the sales label. I loved them.
“Libby those are the ones, you have to get them,” Savannah told me. “I’m getting the red and black pair.”
“You’re getting another pair? How many is that you’ve got now? Uncle Ryan will kill you.” I laughed.
“He’ll never know; I’ll just tell him I’ve had them ages. Come on, let’s pay and then we can go and grab a coffee. I’m thinking I might need a new dress to go with these boots.” She said grinning.
We paid for our boots and said goodbye to Rose, arranging to meet her later tonight. As we walked up the street, Savannah pointed out the bar where we had arranged to meet everyone. The Brass Hall was a big red brick building at the end of the high street. The sign outside was advertising live music and dancing. Savannah told me that it was the best bar in Marble Falls, and would probably be packed later on. Fortunately, a friend of Savannah’s was a waitress there, and she was reserving a table for us.
After a quick stop for coffee and a piece of pecan pie, we headed to Savannah’s favourite clothes shop. She tried on what seemed like a million dresses before eventually finding one to match her new boots. Savannah definitely liked to shop that was for sure.
On the way back, I used the breathing techniques I’d taught myself in an attempt to keep calm, and I managed to get back to the ranch without having a meltdown. As we pulled up the long driveway and parked the car, I saw Brody and another man going into the barn. I felt Savannah tense beside me, and I watched as her knuckles turned white as she gripped the steering wheel.
“Everything okay Sav?” I asked her. “Who was that with Brody? Does he work here?” I looked back over to the barn, but they’d disappeared inside.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “That’s Josh, Brody’s friend. He doesn’t work here, he must be here to see Brody.”
“I remember Josh; he was here at the ranch a lot the last time I was here. You had the biggest crush on him back then.” I turned to look at her and saw the look on her face. “You still like him, don’t you? Does he know?”
She sighed. “I don’t just like him Lib. I love him. I’ve loved him since I was fifteen, he knows how I feel, he’s just not interested.”
I looked over at her and saw the sadness on her face. I couldn’t believe that Josh wasn’t interested, Savannah was gorgeous. She had long wavy brown hair and green eyes freckled with blue. She had a figure I was envious of with legs that seemed to go on forever. If Josh wasn’t interested, he must have been blind. Not only was Savannah gorgeous she was an amazing person as well.
“Oh Sav, are you sure he knows how you feel? How do you know he’s not interested?” I asked her hoping she had it all wrong.
“I’m sure. It’s kind of an embarrassing story.” She cringed. “I basically threw myself at him a few months ago, at a party. I was drunk and decided I’d waited long enough to tell him how I felt. I pulled him to one side and told him I’d been in love with him for years. Then I tried to kiss him.”
She went silent and stared out of the car window. “What happened?” I prompted her.
“He pushed me away, told me that he saw me as a sister and that nothing could ever happen between us.” She wiped a tear away and turned to face me. “We’ve barely spoken since. I hate it Lib, but I can’t make him want me.” She whispered.
I was no relationship expert, having never been in one, but I’d been Mia’s shoulder to cry on more times than I could count. Mia’s disastrous relationships had shown me that you should be with someone who thought the sun rose and set with you, and that you shouldn’t settle for anything less. If Josh really wasn’t interested in Savannah, then there had to be plenty of guys that were.
“Savannah, you shouldn’t have to make someone want you. You should be someone’s everything, and you will find that I’m sure of it. If Josh can’t see how amazing you are, then he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Thanks, Lib. I know you’re right, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.” She wiped her eyes and checked her makeup in the mirror. “Come on, let’s go and get ready for tonight. I’m sure I can find some cowboy to dance with to take my mind off him.”
She jumped out of the car, grabbed the shopping bags and headed for the house. As she did, Brody and Josh came out of the barn.
“Hey, Savannah,” Brody shouted from the door of the barn. I saw Savannah take a deep breath before she turned around.
“Me and Josh thought we’d meet up with you and Lib for a drink tonight. Are you heading to the Brass Hall?”
“Erm… Yeah.” She hesitated. “We're meeting the girls there at eight.”
“Great, we’ll see you there then. Save us a seat.”
“Okay. See you later then.” She told him, her shoulders slumping as she walked up the porch steps.
“I’m guessing Brody doesn’t know you feel about Josh?” I asked.
“No. He’s got no idea. Thankfully Josh never told him what happened, I just pray he never finds out. He’s always made it clear that he doesn’t want me dating his friends. I dread to think how he’d react if he knew I was in love with one of them.”
I followed her into the house, my heart breaking for her. I’d never been in love, not even close. I could only imagine how it must feel to be in love with someone who didn’t love you back. I was starting to think that my first night out in months could turn out to be a disaster.