I blink my eyes open, rolling over in the bed. I’m wearing one of the t-shirts Reed gave me when we were teenagers. My bad dream lingers in my mind, so when I register the pounding on my door, I’m startled from my bed. I scurry through the house to the front door, my eyes darting to the clock. Who would be at my door at two am?
Looking out the peephole, I jump back with a gasp, and after unlocking the door, I pull it open. Reed’s red, glassy eyes meet mine.
“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Fear spikes in my belly as I take in his disheveled appearance. He looks and smells like he’s been at a distillery all evening. The stench of cheap whiskey permeates the air as he steps over the threshold, his hands reaching for me.
Warmth wraps around my insides when he touches me, his fingers gentle even in his drunken state. He cradles my face in his hands as he speaks. “Imissedyou.” He slurs the words all together, but I get what he’s saying. He looks almost fragile, so much like the little boy I fell in love with all those years ago.
“I miss you, too, but we see each other almost every day,” I say as he pushes my cheeks together admiring my face as if he’s never seen it before. “Reed, it’s two in the morning. What are you doing here?”
I pull from his touch gently, closing the door behind him as he trips into the living room. He’s wearing a gray t-shirt with blue jeans that hug his ass in all the right places. My mouth waters and my pussy clenches as I stare at him. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him dressed so casually.
“Are you checking me out, sweet girl?” Reed flirts, his eyebrows wiggling drunkenly. I bite down on my bottom lip, trying to hold back a smile while shaking my head no, my brown hair slipping from the bun on top of my head.
“I’m not checking you out; I’m trying to figure out why you smell like you took a bath in whiskey.”
He grins, showing his pearly white teeth, and I force my eyes to floor, realizing that if I look at him for even a second longer I will jump his bones. “Hey. What’s with the sad look?” He stumbles over to me, his legs unsteady, and he’s walking like the room is tilted.
I try to stifle the laughter threatening to escape my lips, but it’s not easy. “I’m not sad … I’m just worried about you. Where have you been?” I ask him, unable to stop myself from running a hand through his dark brown locks. My fingers sink into the soft strands, and he moans, leaning into my touch, his entire body almost falling onto mine.
“This…” He moans, cupping me by my ass, as he presses his head between my tits, my fingers still running through his hair. “I’ve missed this…” I hear him inhale, and I know his pain, the need to feel someone’s touch. He needs me, just like I need him.
His fingers splay against my ass cheeks, and he squeezes the globes, pulling them apart and causing a gasp of pleasure to erupt from my throat. “Reed,” I moan, as he massages my skin.
“Fuck, Fal. I’ve thought about fucking you a thousand different ways today.” Again the words slur together, and I know we can’t do this right now, not while he’s drunk, so I maneuver us towards the sofa.
“There won’t be any of that this evening. You’re drunk as a skunk and I am way too tired.” I shove him until his ass is against the sofa, and then pry his fingers from my ass. I move away, my body betraying me the longer I stay close to him. I want nothing more than to give into his dirty words, his rough touch.
His eyes are heavy, glassy and full of emotion, and his voice slurs slightly when he speaks. “You’re more than I deserve. More than any man deserves.” He blinks up at me as I take his shoes off and lay him down on the couch. Why did he drink so much?
Is he really okay?
“It’s a little late to say that, don’t you think? We’re going to make a baby together.” I snicker, the smile fading from my face as soon as I think back to the dream I was having just a few minutes ago.
“That’s why I don’t deserve you…” He trails off, his eyes close, and I wonder if he passed out. Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch, I cover him up, but when I look up, he’s staring at me. “You deserve a man that’s going to marry you. One that will wake up every day and eat your pussy, because that’s what a man should do for a woman he loves.”
I smile sadly, because Reed doesn’t think he’s good enough, and this might not work out between us. “Funnily enough, that’s not the first thing on my ‘things a husband should do’ list.”
His tired eyes meet mine, and he yawns. “Yeah, but he’ll be able to love you and a baby.”
Reed wants this baby so bad, and for all we know, I won’t be able to give him one. I didn’t tell him about the problems my mom had getting pregnant with me. She and my dad tried for years, and finally had to do fertility treatments. Mom told me that every month when her period arrived she’d sit on the bathroom floor and cry. What if that’s what happens with us? I can’t shake the worry after the nightmare I had tonight.
Even though I know he probably won’t remember, I can’t stop myself from asking, “What happens if I can’t give you a baby?”
Reed blinks owlishly, then sits up and pulls me into his lap. His reflexes are fast for a man that smells as if he’s consumed the state’s entire supply of whiskey. “What do you mean, sweet girl? Do you not want to have my baby anymore?” His eyebrows draw together like he’s trying to understand, and I shake my head, wanting to kiss him so badly it almost hurts.
“I mean, what if I can’t give you a baby? I want to give you one, but what if my body decides I can’t?” I shouldn’t be discussing this with Reed while he’s drunk but I can’t help it. My fear is spiraling out of control, because the dream was so real, so vivid; I can still feel the panic prickling against my skin.
“Practice makes perfect.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down, and when he reaches for me, trying to pull me closer, I gently push him down.
“That’s not what I mean, Reed.” I roll my eyes at his one track mind. “We can talk about it later, when you’re sober.” Or never. I try to get off of his lap but he holds me in place, his arms wrapping tighter around my midsection and forcing me to stay in place.
“I’m not letting you go.” His voice is petulant, and he sounds more like the little boy he was than the dominant man he is now. “You’re sad and afraid, and I want to touch you. I long to touch you, so please, please let me hold you.” Tears swim in Reed’s eyes, and I wonder if this is going to become a common thing between us. This is twice one of us has shown up at the other’s houses, speaking sober words while we’re drunk. I stare down at him, unable to deny him anything when he’s looking at me like I’m his entire world. Plus, I want him to hold me while I sleep in my bed, his bed, wherever he is.
“Okay, but just this one time. If I let you make a habit of it you’ll be over here all the damn time.” I try to sound as if I’m annoyed, but there’s too much mirth in my voice.
Reed stands with me in his arms, and I squeal, holding on tight he walks us back to my bedroom, his movements are slow and I worry he may drop me on the floor if we don’t get to my bed soon. “Let’s go cuddle.”
“You can put me down. I don’t need you to carry me.” We arrive at my bedroom door and he twists the knob, pushing it open.
“I know I don’t need to, but I want to.” He growls, walking over to the bed, lowering me onto it gently. He makes quick work of his shirt, and my mouth drops open as I take in his solid form. His muscles are tight, and his abs look as if they’ve been chiseled from stone, and when he pops the button on his jeans my insides turn to mush.
Last time he was commando; will he be this time? He shoves his pants to the floor, his strong thigh muscles, and calves tightening as he removes them.
Arousal pools between my thighs. Reed’s hard…and definitely going commando.
“Move over,” he orders, reaching for the light. He fumbles with it for a moment before it switches off. Then, his huge, warm body climbs into bed. Heat pours off of him into me as he rolls to his side, situating me with my back against his front before grabbing the comforter and pulling it over our bodies.
“Are you sure we should…” My voice trails off when I feel his nose touch the back of my head, his hot breath fanning my neck. He’s inhaling me, and I slowly settle into his body, feeling his heartbeat thump steadily against my back, his fingers splayed across my hip, pulling me tightly against his groin.
He wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to cuddle, and with every breath I take, a sense of comfort fills me. Yes, I’m scared about what our future will bring, but my fears can wait. For now, I do have him, and I’m not going to make the mistake of wasting another second.
“Sweet dreams, Reed.” I nuzzle his hand beneath my head, and slowly drift off to sleep, his heartbeat and scent the sweetest lullaby there ever was.