Three weeks later
I stared down at the white stick, wondering what I would do with the answer it gave me. Time ticked away, the seconds seeming to take forever to pass. My period was over a month late. How I had gone without realizing it, I don’t know.
A knot of anxiety formed in the pit of my stomach. After the way that I had treated Zane, I wasn’t even sure he would answer my phone call when I called him. Hell maybe he had moved on by now?
My eyes drifted from my reflection in the mirror and down to the pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom vanity. The words pregnant blinked back at me. My knees went weak wobbling with the results of the test. My back landed against the wall behind me, the only support keeping me up right.
“Oh God no…” My voice was barely audible. The air refused to enter my lungs, causing them to tighten with stale oxygen. I didn’t know what I was going to say to Zane or even if I was going to get the chance to. I hadn’t talked to him in three weeks, not since I told him we couldn’t be together anymore.
It took everything in me to let him walk away that day. The image of his father’s face was burned in my mind reminding me of why I had to let him go but now, with this there was no hiding it. I couldn’t hide being pregnant from our parents.
“It was all for nothing…” The words bounced off the walls of the bathroom filtering into my head. I had done it all for nothing. I had pushed him away and said things I could never take back and now I was the one that would have to go begging for his forgiveness, all because I thought I was doing the right thing.
Tears slipped from my eyes and down my cheeks. I stared at the woman in the mirror wondering how I had gotten here. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting both Zane and me when I was really just hurting us.
I squeezed my eyes shut, my nails digging into my palm painfully. I wanted to be numb of all the different emotions I was currently feeling but I knew I couldn’t be. There was a baby growing inside of me- mine and Zane’s baby.
I flicked away the tears feeling weaker than I ever had before. The sound of my cell phone ringing in the bedroom down the hall met my ears. I walked slowly to the bedroom plucking the device up off the nightstand.
My mother’s name flashed across the screen and I sighed far louder than probably should be allowed.
“Yes mother?” I squeaked, answering the phone with a slide of my finger.
“Goodness gracious Brooke. What took you so long?” My teeth ground together. Not only did I have to give up Zane for my mother in order to keep my education, but I also had to answer her phone calls as soon as she called.
“I was in the bathroom and my phone was in the other room charging.” I tried to sound like I wasn’t irritated but I was. The surprise pregnancy, coupled with everything going on with Zane, and then his father threatening me made it nearly impossible for me to stay on the phone.
“Oh well next time try and get to the phone sooner. When you answer on the last ring it makes me feel as if I’m unimportant…” Her voice trailed off in my mind as I made note of the fact that she hated when I answered on the last ring.
“We’re having dinner tonight at Sax’s Steakhouse for Zane’s birthday… I wanted to remind you in case you decided to skip out…” When she said Zane’s name my ears perked up and my eyes opened wider.
Oh shit. It was Zane’s Birthday.
“Of course…” I paused. “I couldn’t ever forget my stepbrother’s birthday. I’ll be there, what time again?” I acted as if she had said something to me before, when in reality she hadn’t. I would’ve remembered had she said something about Zane.
“Perfect sweetie. I want you looking your best. Zane’s bringing his new girlfriend tonight and first impressions as you know are the most important.” Black spots formed before my eyes and my body swayed. I grabbed onto the leather sofa trying to right myself.
His new girlfriend.
I couldn’t even form words, my mouth going dry. He had moved on already? How had he moved on so fast? I was flabbergasted and completely taken back by my mother’s words that I failed to notice she was still talking.
“Did you hear me Brooklynn?” My mother’s impatient tone vibrated in my ear. I licked my dry lips, trying to stifle back the emotions that would most definitely fill my voice.
“Yes I did.” My voice cracked and with it, so did my heart.
“Good I will see you tonight at seven.” She hung up seconds later. There was no love you, or how are you doing? I pulled the phone away from my ear. The tears that had been threatening to fall came cascading down my cheeks. I sucked in a breath and then another but it didn’t feel like I was breathing. It felt like I was suffocating, just barely getting enough oxygen into my bloodstream to survive.
“He’s… he’s found someone else…” I said the words out loud, thinking maybe if I said them they would have less of an effect on me but they didn’t. They made it all that more real.
I moved, slamming down onto the leather couch, my hands grabbing for a nearby pillow. I could make it through this. I just needed to get out of my head. I needed to let the pain go. If he had moved on, then he had. It just meant that me telling him about the baby wouldn’t change anything between us.
And maybe that was the knife to my heart, the one thing that sent me over the edge. The fact that if he had found someone new that I would be nothing but old news and the baby that grew inside of me, while maybe he or she wouldn’t matter to Zane, then maybe neither would I.
With each tear that fell a piece of my heart flaked away, never to return again. Every second without Zane was a death sentence and now I knew there was never going to be a happy ever after for us.
Somehow I had managed to clean myself up. My mother’s disapproving look followed me at every turn while I tried on three different dresses. Every single one was snug in the middle, the place that I was now growing outward.
I looked at my phone watching the clock, knowing if I didn’t leave the house now I wouldn’t make it to dinner on time. I went with the flowery summer dress, knowing that it was the least likely to show my pudge. I blinked away the tears and pushed the emotions that threatened to swarm me down as I drove to Sax’s. I arrived with ten minutes to spare. It was downtown so parking was a bitch, though I managed to find some at a nearby parking garage.
I had just started walking in the direction of the restaurant when my phone buzzed in my purse. I pulled it out frantically hoping that it wasn’t my mother but knowing it couldn’t be anyone else. Zane wouldn’t be texting me. Would he?
I swiped a finger across the screen, Zane’s name appearing with a text message attached to it that said: You coming tonight? Three words. After all this time he said three words to me.
I bit the inside of my cheek, just grateful that he had time to remember me now that he had a new girlfriend. I waltzed into the five star steak restaurant and was greeted with a mirage of scents. My stomach churned and my lunch threatened to come up onto the marble floor I was standing on.
“I’m with the Masters party,” I announced, greeting the hostess with a smile. Her eyes dropped down to the list in front of her before coming back up to me.
“Right this way.” She gave me a once over look and headed in the direction of the table. The air in my chest stilled as I took notice of everyone who was at the table. My mother, Gerald, Zane, and a brunette bombshell that I could only assume to be Zane’s new girlfriend.
The hostess led me to the table and then skipped away. She had no idea she had lead me into the pits of hell.
“Brooke….” Zane said my name like he had been dying to say it for days. He shoved away from the table, a look of fear coupled with pain lingered in his green-blue eyes.
“Zane.” I tipped my chin at him acknowledging his presence but refusing to go to him. A look of pure disapproval formed on his features as I took the only open seat next to my mother.
“It’s so nice of you to make it Brooke, is there a reason you’re late?” My mother’s voice was anything but nice.
“The traffic was horrible and parking was even worse.” I sighed, knowing this was going to be the dinner from hell. Honestly, I wasn’t even sure why I had agreed to come in the first place.
“You should’ve left earlier then. This is what your mother and I mean when we say you need to take better responsibility for your actions Brooke.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at Gerald. You would’ve thought I killed someone’s dog the way they were looking at me.
I shifted my attention to the brunette that was sitting directly next to me, her perfectly manicured fingernails tapping against the tablecloth. They were painted a striking red color, the same color she had painted on her lips.
Figures he would go for a brunette after having a blonde.
Was it bad that I could feel my lip rising in a snarl as I eyed her further. She was skinny with a huge pair of tits, though they were probably as fake as her personality.
“Brooke I want you to meet Zane’s new girlfriend, Sarah…” My mother smiled extending her hand to Sarah in a gesture that said welcome to the family. I blinked slowly, trying to hold in the rage that was threatening to bubble over and out of me.
“We aren’t dating…” Zane’s voice was deep and commanding. I lifted my eyes to his and looked at him, really looked at him for the first time in a long time.
“Oh but you will be very soon, my son.” Gerald slapped a hand against Zane’s back and it all clicked into place then. Gerald hadn’t wanted Zane and me together for numerous reasons but the biggest one being that he wanted to decide whom his son was going to marry and be with.
That and my mother would never approve of our relationship because to the public we would be deemed a social outcast.
“We aren’t dating Dad. Nor will we ever be.” Zane shrugged his father’s hand off his shoulder. I had a choice to make. I needed to tell Zane that I was pregnant without being alone with him because if I got alone with him I would break down and I couldn’t handle that right now.
Therefore I would have to announce it to everyone at the table here. My mother was already eyeing me with disapproval, hell she had been since the day I was born. Maybe Zane had been right, maybe I didn’t need to worry about their approval. Still they held all the power because they had all the money.
Either way I couldn’t continue to live this way. Gerald had put so much pressure on me. He wanted me to do what he deemed right when all I wanted was a life with his son. Zane and I had each other before our parents met and decided to marry, so why couldn’t we be happy?
“You’ll make a perfect member of the family Sarah. I promise you that.” My mother was smiling and being sweet, and Sarah was eating that shit right up like she couldn’t see the devil in the details.
I decided then that I was done dealing with this shit. I didn’t have to state who the father was but I’m sure Gerald would figure it out and spill the beans to my mother who would in turn call me later.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted it out and the entire table went silent. My eyes landed on Zane’s first. Excitement and then shock reflected back at me. I slid my eyes over to Gerald’s and then my mother’s. Anger, disapproval, and shock were marring their features.
“What?” My mother’s tone had turned cold.
“I’m pregnant,” I said it again, this time putting more into it. I didn’t care if they thought the worst of me. The one thing I would never let them do is treat my child like garbage.
“You’re an absolute disgrace.” My mother threw her napkin down on the table, shoving away from it and heading in the direction of what I assumed to be the bathroom. A smile pulled at my lips as I stared at Gerald.
“Do you have anything to say?” I tipped my head sideways at him trying to examine his stone cold features.
“You’ll regret this Brooke.” He sounded so full of himself and maybe he was. Maybe he would make me pay for saying something out loud but if he was half the man he claimed to be, he would’ve let things between Zane and me remain. He wouldn’t have threatened me like he did.
“Brooke…” Zane said my name like a warning… My eyes lifted to his for a millisecond before I too got up and made my way to the front door. Zane was hot on my heels though, his hand wrapping around my upper arm tight enough to stop me.
“Hey, you don’t get to say something like that and just walk away…” Confusion laced his features as he pushed me against the brick exterior of the building. I had nothing to say to him, even if I felt deep down in my chest like I did.
“I have nothing to say to you…” I dipped my head low, trying to pull myself from his grip and get around him. I never expected him to grip me by the chin and force my eyes to meet his.
“Well I have a lot to fucking say to you, so please stay put for the next ten minutes and listen to me very carefully.” I bit my bottom lip, willing the tears away. I wouldn’t break down in front of Zane. Not when he had his new supermodel girlfriend sitting just inside the restaurant.
“Zane…” His name fell from my lips in a moan.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much Brooke. Every night when I go to sleep I think about you. I wonder if you’re okay, and if you’re thinking about me….” His lips pressed against my earlobe.
“I’ve struggled with staying away but have done so because you told me too. It hurt me more than anything Brooke. It was like ripping my fucking heart out and throwing it on the ground, but I did it…” I could feel my fingers sinking into the chiseled muscles of his abs and chest.
“And for what? I still don’t have a reason other than the thought of our parents finding out and being bigger assholes than they already are….” I was weak, so fucking weak. His lips pressed against my throbbing pulse making it jump in my throat. “I’ve thought of all the ways I would kiss you and explore you when I saw you again. How I would take you over my knee and spank you for hurting me so badly. How I would make you beg for your release when my cock splits you open again. I’ve thought about it all…” His voice trailed off and I knew I had to stop him before he said something that would truly send me running back into his arms.
“It’s not yours Zane,” I lied, knowing that would get him to stop, and it did. He pulled away from he within seconds my body going cold with the loss of his touch.
“Are you kidding me Brooke?” he spat, disgust riddling his features.
“It’s not Zane. I’ve been seeing someone else. He doesn’t know yet but I plan on telling him soon.” I exaggerated the story further, hoping he would just let it be and for a second I thought he would until he was on me, my back slamming into the brick wall without warning. The wall bit into my flesh as he held his lips just a few millimeters away from my own.
“You’re a liar and a bad one at fucking that…” he whispered before slamming his lips down onto mine. His kiss was commanding and in it I felt every single emotion he tried to describe to me. Hate, love, pain, and sorrow mixed with happiness and sadness. I hated myself more after that kiss than I had before the kiss happened.
We devoured each other, our lips refusing to separate as our hands roamed all over as if they were doing so for the very first time. I clung to Zane, never wanting to let him go and knowing that lying to him hadn’t worked. Zane knew the baby was his and because he knew the truth, I knew that the next few days were going to be impossibly hard.
I melted into his touch, becoming sedated almost immediately. Zane kisses could bring you to your knees if you let them. When the kiss finally ended I was left breathless.
“That baby is mine Brooke and pretty soon you will be again too. Nothing our parents can say or do is going to stop me from having you again. I love you Brooke.” Zane cupped me by the back of the head and kissed me until I was seeing stars before releasing me.
“But you love her…” I started, knowing that I shouldn’t even believe such nonsense. Zane simply smiled, the cocky boy grin I loved so much showing proudly on his face.
“Jealously don’t look good on you baby… you know I would never find someone else. It was my father who invited her and tried to shove us together. I didn’t even want to talk to her…” I sighed with relief inwardly.
“Okay….” My lips trembled, the pregnancy hormones already taking over.
“Don’t worry about anything Brooke. In two days you’ll be back in my arms living with me all over again.” I didn’t know about that. Once he found out his father had threatened me, everything would change.
The truth was bound to come out. I walked away from Zane with a promise to call him and talk things over. What he didn’t know was that I had to decide if my relationship with him was worth risking my entire life.
Then again, my mother probably already had plans to disown me since I made such a horrible scene in the restaurant.
Yeah. I was pretty sure I was already on my way to hell. No point in trying to escape the train now.