My boots scuffed against the rocky driveway as I walked up it and in the direction of Mia’s parent’s house. I knew coming back here would do nothing but harm but I had to see it for myself and if I was being completely honest I would tell you that I still couldn’t believe it, that the woman I loved had a baby with another man. The words were ones I couldn’t and refused to speak out loud. Mia was mine, and her daughter was mine too, even if she wasn’t really mine.
“I’m guessing the reunion didn’t go as well as you thought it would?” Donovan scoffed. He was more than just my best friend, he was also Mia’s twin brother and though he loved his sister with all his heart he knew the love I had for her ran deeper than anything else in my life.
“What makes you think that?” I grinned at him. We both knew how stubborn his sister was, and could be, so it wasn’t a surprise to either of us if she didn’t take our reunion well. That wasn’t going to make me back down though.
“Well, you look like she kicked you in balls, and ripped your heart out… that’s why…” He laughed before handing me a cold beer.
“Isn’t your dinner rehearsal in like twenty minutes?” I popped the top off the beer and took a long pull from it. The cold liquid cooled the anger that Mia had stirred inside of me. I was still wearing my Army fatigues, having gone straight to Mia’s cupcake shop instead of coming here to change first. I needed to see her like I needed my next breath.
Donovan shrugged. “Yeah it is, but everyone else is always late so why can’t I be late too?” He took a drink this time. I eyed him with surprise because had his soon to be wife Harper heard him say that he would be running for the hills.
“I’m going to grab a shower before we leave.” I shot to Donovan over my shoulder, as I placed the half full beer on the patio table and headed inside. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mia and the way her body begged to be possessed by me all over again. The years in time that separated made the need for her stronger than it ever had been before. I stripped off my clothing letting it all fall to the floor at my feet. I was exhausted after a twenty-hour round trip flight back to the states, yet the only person I wanted to see was the only person who refused to see me.
I twisted the shower knob, turning it all the way to hot before jumping into the stream of water. The water pelted against my back, relieving the ache in my muscles.
“Fuck!” I growled feeling all my emotions at once. Mia didn’t want me anymore, and though I wasn’t going to give up on her that easily it hurt me to know that she had obviously at one point and time moved on with someone else. Still, I couldn’t blame her... Not after hurting her, the way I had.
I clenched my fists at my side trying to stop the memories from that day, the day that I ended both of us.
“You said you loved me!” I could see the steady stream of tears as they slipped from her eyes, and down her perfect creamy white cheeks. My teeth ground together as I reminded myself further why things needed to be this way. In the end, it would be for the best. When I enlisted I never expected to sign up for infantry, but now that I knew that was what I was doing and I had made a commitment to the Army I couldn’t leave Mia behind. I couldn’t leave her worrying about me at every turn. She deserved better than that, but of course, she didn’t see it that way.
“I do love you. I love you with my entire fucking heart! I love you so much. That’s why I’m letting you go….” My voice cracked and the beating muscle in my chest ached as it tried to pump blood throughout my body. I wasn’t just breaking Mia’s, heart. I was breaking my own too.
“You don’t love me!” She growled, pulling her hand back, and landing a hard slap against my cheek. The pain of her smack stung but not nearly as bad as the pain that would linger with me for the rest of my life for hurting her this way. She sucked in a breath and I was positive she was on the verge of an anxiety attack.
“Calm down Mia. Breathe, please breathe…” I begged, and pleaded with her, but she refused to meet my eyes until I reached for her. My fingers grazed her cheek as she pulled away from me, and took a deafening step back from me. This was the end this was what I wanted, wasn’t it?
“I hate you, Jake. I hate you.” I stood there unable to do anything to make it better. The rage in her eyes reflected back at me, but it was more than rage that I saw as I stared into her beautiful eyes. Sadness like I had never seen before lingered beneath the rage. I couldn’t take back the words I had spoken or the contract with the United States government that I had signed. I was a member of the Army for the next four years if I survived the next four years…
Donovan’s voice filtered into the bathroom pulling me from my shitty memories. “Hurry it up, asshole…” I heard him mumble against the bathroom door. I killed the water having rinsed all the suds off. I grabbed the towel and dried off my hair before wrapping the towel around my midsection then I opened the bathroom door and escaped out into the hall heading in the direction of the bedroom that Mia’s parents had offered me.
“You’re letting him live here?” I knew that voice, and I also knew what it was like to be on the receiving end her anger.
“It’s been four years since he left Mia. Let it go. Maybe try and become friends with him instead?” Jen sounded just as upset as Mia was. I had asked Donovan if I could stay with him for a few weeks till I got my own place but shit hit the fan with that real fast when his fiancé found out, so he got his parents to agree to me staying here. I was praying that I could get out of here before Mia discovered we were almost living under the same roof.
Almost.
“He broke my heart. He hurt me. Why does no one in this family realize that…? Instead, he just shows back up, as if he did nothing wrong and you all praise him like some knight and shining armor.” She aspirated, her words filled with more and more venom as she spoke.
I licked my lips, as my cock grew stiff against the fabric of the towel. She has no idea how much I loved her dirty mouth. She always had said exactly how she felt when she felt it.
“For Pete’s sake let it go Mia. You’re twenty-two now. If you aren’t going to do it for you aren’t going to do it for yourself at least do it for Lola.” My entire body froze up that second. I hadn’t forgotten that Mia had a daughter it just enraged me knowing that some asshole got her knocked up and walked away from her like that.
Lola deserved a good Dad, and Mia deserved a man who knew how to take care of her in more than one way.
“I’m done with this conversation Mother!” Mia sounded frustrated and I hated that I was the cause for all her current problems. Had I just stayed away maybe she would be having a better day?
“Hi!” A tiny voice met my ears, and I dropped my attention to the little girl that had magically appeared in front of me. Lola. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She looked so much like her mother that it hurt me looking at her.
“Hi! What’s your name?” I questioned, knowing that I should probably go and change since I was only in a towel.
“Lola. What’s yours?” She shot right back, her big blue eyes twinkling with amusement. She looked like sunshine and radiated happiness and I wanted her to be mine instead of some other assholes child right then and there.
“I’m Jake, and I’m your mommy’s friend,” I added the last bit hoping if Lola liked me then maybe she would ask her mom to bring her to see me more.
“Lola Jean get over…” Mia’s voice stopped mid-sentence as I lifted my eyes from her beautiful daughter and to her.
“Mommy this is Jake…. He wants to be my friend…” I smiled down at Lola who was twirling a long strand of her dark brown hair around one of her fingers.
“That’s great sweetheart. How about you let mommy have a nice talk with Jake well you go find Uncle Dom.” Mia hid her anger from her daughter really well I would give her that.
“Uncle Dom…” Lola bellowed as she ran in the direction of the kitchen leaving Mia and myself in the hallway of her old house.
“It’s one thing to fuck with me, but an entirely different thing to fuck with my daughter…” Mia snarled and I could feel my cock growing harder as her rage spilled out of her. She had no idea how beautiful she was when she was angry.
“I didn’t do anything Mia, and plus I would never hurt Lola. She’s an extension of you which mean’s I love her without having a need to know her…” I confessed holding my towel tightly in place even though I wanted to let it slip to the ground. Mia leaned into my body, her eyes roaming over my muscled chest far longer than acceptable.
“If you’re smart Jake, then you’ll leave me and my family alone. You walked away from all of this a while ago, so don’t act like you can just waltz back into my life like you didn’t do anything wrong. You aren’t a knight Jake. You’re an asshole with a nice body, and face. An asshole that I, unfortunately, fell for…”
I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped my lips, she could say whatever she wanted too, to me. I would take every insult and digest it because I knew I hurt her, but I refused to listen to her tell me I never loved her. I refused to let her act like she was nothing but a piece of meat to me. She would never be just a fuck buddy; she would never just be some girl I fucked.
She was Mia. Mine.
“Think whatever you want about me baby, hell say whatever you want about me, call me every damn name under the sun…” I snarled, leaning into her face, inhaling her sweet scent. It did nothing to calm my erratic heartbeat. “But don’t assume for one second that I never loved you. I did the only thing I could do, and I’m going to spend every fucking day for the rest of my life trying to win you back, because you’re it for me, Mia. You’re mine…” The words poured from me and as Mia’s face fell so did my heart. She didn’t believe me anymore. She didn’t trust me anymore and that was yet another thing I would have to fix to bring her back to me again.
“Just leave me, and my daughter alone… and put some clothes on…” She spoke, her voice weak as she walked away from me and down the hall. I shook my head causing droplets of water to cascade across my skin. The fact she had told me to put on a shirt let me know everything I needed to know…
She was most definitely still attracted to me.