The whiskey swirls around the inside of my glass as I sag against the leather sofa in my penthouse apartment. A million different emotions cling to me. I want to be angry with my father for putting such a horrible stipulation on me, but I’m also worried to death about his health. He refuses to discuss it with anyone, including me and my brothers so none of us know just how sick he might be. I’m not buying the “I’m old” excuse, and I know my brothers aren’t either.
Taking a sip from the glass, I let the whiskey coat my mouth before swallowing the amber liquid down. It warms me from the inside out and settles my anxious stomach.
My iPhone lights up, signaling an incoming text and I stare at the screen for longer than necessary, Fallon’s name and message scrolling across it.
Fallon: I hope you’re okay? Let me know if you need anything. I’m always here for you.
Rubbing my jaw, I take into consideration what Ryker said earlier. Fallon would make the perfect surrogate to my children. Hell, she’d make the perfect bride, wife and mother to my children but crossing that line could lead to the end of a very long friendship. It’s a relationship that I hold near and dear to my heart because, even if I do want Fallon as more, I’m okay with only having her as my friend.
I can’t give her up, no matter what. My phone pings again, indicating another message, though this time it’s from Ryker.
Ryker: Are you going to ask her to be your baby momma? *winky face*
I grin, even though what he said to me earlier today is annoying the hell out of me. I know he only wants the best for me, and he knew I loved Fallon long before I cared to admit it to anyone, including myself.
I don’t respond to either of them, not yet. Instead, I finish my whiskey and stare out over the city, wondering how the hell I’m going to find a woman that’s willing to give me a child without demanding a large amount of cash. My phone goes off again, the sound filling the space, but I still don’t want to look at the message. I don’t want to see Ryker’s taunting comments or Fallon’s sweet checking up on me, so I pick up the phone and slide it into my pocket, tidying up the house before heading into my bedroom.
When I pass the photo of my mother in the hallway, I stop, staring at it until I feel tears prick my eyes. I miss my mother more today than I have since the day she died.
Mom would know what to do if she was here right now. She would give me the advice I need and tell me where to go from here. Hell, she’d probably talk dad out of his crazy plan. If she was here, I know things would be different.
Squeezing my eyelids closed, I will the tears away. I’m a man, and crying doesn’t change anything. I still have to find someone to be the perfect mother so I can complete my half of the deal and inherit the business my family built from the ground up.
I just start unbuttoning my shirt when I hear a knock at the front door.
What the fuck? My eyes shift to the clock on my dresser. It’s nearly ten o’clock at night. Who the hell can be knocking on my door, and why?
Walking across the house, I hurry to the front door, unlocking the deadbolt when I see who’s on the other side. Opening the heavy wooden door, my eyes take in a very adorable and possibly drunk Fallon.
She looks up at me and smiles, her angelic face making me forget about all the bullshit in my life. I smirk down at her, motioning for her to come in. She visibly gulps as she takes in my naked torso.
“Don’t be shy. You’ve basically seen me naked,” I joke as she walks into the apartment and I close the door behind us. There’s a shyness in her eyes that makes me wonder what’s going on. I know that look. It’s the one that says she has something to say or ask, but she’s too afraid, too shy.
“Not funny Reed. I’ve never seen your penis before.” Her cheeks heat at when she realizes what she says, and she stammers an explanation. “I...I...I mean I’ve never seen you naked.”
How in the hell has she managed to stay single this long?
Because you haven’t claimed her yet, asshole. The voice in my head pisses me off, and I mentally flip it off.
“Well, I was just about to get into the shower so now is your one and only chance,” I tease, watching as her cheeks pinken more. Blood rushes in my ears and I envision myself kissing her, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, paying special attention to everything in between.
“Did you check your messages?” She nibbles on her bottom lip nervously as I settle onto the leather sofa.
“I did, but I didn’t get a chance to reply yet. Is everything okay?” I ask, wondering if something really is wrong and I’m not seeing it.
If someone hurt her...so help me god.
She’s been drinking, that much is obvious, and probably since she left work because she’s still wearing the tight gray skirt she was wearing earlier.
Licking her lips, she exhales a breath before walking over to where I’m sitting, then leans down to peer into my face, our lips a meager distance from each other. If I was half the man I consider myself to be, I’d wrap her up in my arms and kiss her like I’ve always wanted to.
“There’s nothing wrong…” she trails off, looking away like she’s trying to gather her courage, which heightens my curiosity. “I just want to help you. To be the friend you always need.” I don’t miss the emphasis she puts on the word friend. For some reason, the word stings.
“What do you mean be the friend I need? Aren’t we already friends?” Narrowing my eyes, I find myself pulling her against my lap when I should be pushing her away. This is wrong. We’re friends, best friends. I can’t want her ... can I? I can’t cross that line without there being consequences for my actions. If I kiss her, then we’ve crossed into uncharted territory and I don’t know how we’ll survive it.
“We’re friends…” She’s staring at my lips, and I swear she’s going to kiss me. I can feel her sweet breath against my skin, and I want to taste her lips. I want to devour them. “But after today, I wonder if we could bend that line. If I can help you and you can help me.” I rear back and blink, my cock still rock hard and as I try to adjust her so she doesn’t feel it I wonder what she means.
“Help you? What do you need help with? If you need money, I’ll take care of you? Is someone hurting you?” I jump the gun a little bit, sounding more like an overprotective boyfriend instead of a best friend.
Fallon shakes her head and sags against my chest. I wrap my arms around her, smelling the wine that permeates from her pores. It’s sweet and intoxicating, and I almost groan as I inhale her scent.
“What do you mean Fallon?” I’m almost pleading with her to tell me what it is is going on.
“You’re so warm, and your chest is so smooth. You look like you walked off the cover of a GQ magazine.” She hiccups and giggles as she runs her fingertips across my chest and mutters nonsense. I’m flattered, and even a little bit excited that she finds me attractive, but it’s not like she hasn’t said similar things before. Friends can think each other are attractive, right?
I’m petting her now, running my fingers through her silky locks while wishing she belonged to me, wishing she was mine to keep, caress, and pleasure. “I think someone has had a little too much to drink.” As much as I want to let myself take what she’s drunkenly offering, I know she’ll regret it in the morning, and I’m not willing to risk our friendship for one night of ecstasy.
“I could help you,” she continues to ramble, her voice almost inaudible. “I could give you a baby. I want a baby myself, a family of my own. It could be a joint effort.” Fallon’s voice is soft but pleading and my hand stills as I digest her words. Am I hearing her correctly when she says she wants to have my baby? That she wants one, too? How do I not know she wants a child? Her saying she wants a family makes my heart squeeze painfully in my chest.
It takes me a moment to gather my wits, and I clear my throat, unable to look directly at her. “That’s a huge commitment, Fallon, too big a commitment to ask a friend to do. How can we remain friends and have a baby together?” Again I’m left wondering where this came from. Did Ryker her set her up as a joke? I’m certain this isn’t something she thought up on her own, and after the things he said earlier, I wouldn’t put it past him.
She pulls away slightly, her eyes drinking in mine. I swear I can see pain swirling in her deep green depths, but before I can say anything to her she’s off my lap and rushing for the door. I take off after her because I don’t want her to go, not like this.
“I’m only trying to help,” she ends with a small sob. “You don’t have to look at me like you’d rather eat your left arm off than procreate with me.” She sniffs, making it clear my comments upset her, but I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know anything anymore, and the frustration has me gripping the sides of my head and yanking the hair.
“Did Ryker tell you to offer this? Is it some kind of joke?” Fallon whirls around, her face full of disbelief, and as soon as our eyes meet I know my question was a stupid one. Even if Ryker did try to put her up to it, she wouldn’t go along with it if it wasn’t what she wanted.
“Seriously?” she squeaks. “That’s a joke, right? It has to be a joke, because for you to actually think I would consider sleeping with you based on something Ryker said? That would mean you don’t know me at all.” Shock radiates from deep within her, and I can sense her anger and sadness.
I hate myself a little more for being a dumbass and asking such a stupid as shit question. She starts towards the front door again, and I call out to her. “Fallon.” Her name falls from my lips in an anguished plea. I’m so ashamed at myself for treating her this way. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just, I didn’t think you could be serious. You’re my best friend, and my father’s stipulation is pretty clear. He wants a baby created between me and whoever I choose, and I can’t risk losing you. I can’t lose our friendship.” I finally say the words I didn’t think I could muster up. I’m a mess on the inside even if I look crisp and cool on the outside.
“But you can’t lose the company either,” she reminds me. I stare at her heart-shaped face, knowing she’s right. I can’t lose the company, that would suck, but I can’t lose her either. Losing her would be unbearable.
“No… No, I can’t,” I whisper, holding my head in my hands. If I take her offer, I risk our friendship ending because everyone knows you can’t be friends and lovers. It’s one or the other. Sex complicates things. But, if I don’t give her what she’s asking for I risk losing her and the company forever. Then there’s what she wants. I can’t have her go looking for someone else to father her child. There’s no way I can live through that.
This is one of those moments where I’m fucked if I do, but damned if I don’t.