Himika

After I had bathed, Raia brushed my hair and pulled some of it back with a jeweled ornament.

“What have you been up to, Raia? I haven’t seen much of you besides mornings and evenings. Are you coming to the performance tonight?” All the dragons were invited to the theater, but Raia looked like she’d just rolled out of bed.

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Abel’s here… I said hello and he said hello, and now I don’t know what to do. He’s my brother and I don’t know what to say. He’s so…cool.” She laughed. “I mean, not just in an ice dragon sort of way. I wish we had a relationship and I don’t think he cares.”

“I doubt that.”

“But I don’t know how to penetrate the wall. Do you ever have those people where you just feel really awkward around them?”

I considered this a moment and Raia huffed. “You don’t, do you? You’re never awkward!”

“Come to the performance anyway. It’ll be fun. We don’t have anything like it back in the dragon kingdom. Just have a drink and relax with your friends and I’ll ask Phoebe about Abel. I won’t implicate you, don’t worry,” I said, because I could see her getting more awkward at the thought.

I dressed for the evening in a new gown in the Capameran style that Rin had ordered for me in advance. It was stunning; silk the color of storm clouds with beadwork all over the bodice and skirt, with a fine embroidered shawl to cover my bare shoulders, while my hair spilled down my back past my waist. The skirt was quite heavy but it had a lovely sweep when I walked. I was glad I didn’t have to wear this dress for more than a night, but it was something special before I started to get bigger with the twins. In Gaermon the fashions didn’t change much, but in Gaermon they changed every season. Luckily I could wear it many times back home and the dragons would never know the difference.

Aurek and Ezeru came to escort me together and my jaw dropped. Aurek was still dressed like a dragon, which suited him so well I couldn’t imagine anything else. But Ezeru…

He wore a Capameran suit: a tight belted coat of black wool with silver buttons and scarlet stitching. He filled it out splendidly. Below the coat were tight gray trousers and cuffed boots. Plus, for some reason, his tail was visible, black scales shining, curled up slightly so it didn’t hit the floor.

My gods, how crimson I must have been. One look at all the buttons tight on his chest and that tail and I wanted to tear his clothes off him.

“Himika, you look amazing,” he said.

“Speak for yourself. Who did this to you?”

“Your bro—”

“Never mind.” I threw up a hand. “Oh, heavens, my brother does know how to make a man look good. But why the—tail?”

“Your brother and I had coffee together the other day while you were out in the garden,” Aurek said.

I slapped my forehead. “You’re implicated as well?”

“I was telling him all the rules of what dragons are and are not allowed to show of their dragon forms while at court. Horns, claws, so on… He was asking about our roles in your life, pointing out that claws and tails are useful in battle. Well, I said, tails are only for consorts but of course, Ezeru is your consort. Alas for me, I have taken your hand in marriage so it’s not an option.”

“Tails are useful in battle,” Ezeru agreed. “And elsewhere.”

“I know, you fiend. You don’t mind if people see you as a consort?”

“I’m not just a consort,” he said. “But if it gets other women to leave me alone, that’s a benefit.”

Doubtful, I thought.

“And if I can please the queen in every way, why wouldn’t I want everyone to see that?”

I blushed. Dragons just didn’t have any shame. “I’m going to be very distracted.”

“That’s the idea,” Aurek said. “But if this performance is as good as promised, you can wait.” He took my arm. “I heard there are no drums at all, so I’m a little skeptical it could be as good as dragon music… How can it even be music with no drums?”

An hour later, we were seated in the box of the theater, watching the Imperial Rose Troupe: a dozen women who were veterans of the old Imperial song and dance troupes. Phoebe said the show had been pulled together in just three weeks, but they had a lot of experienced people from the prior troupes to handle sets, lighting, composing and so on. The musicians tucked in the pit played violin, cello, lute, piano, harp, and other instruments in a perfectly organized dance of solos and symphonic backgrounds. Gilbert was sitting near us and hunched anxiously forward, moving his hand and hook along with the conductor or the violinists at different moments, occasionally cringing.

Aurek seemed riveted. “What are these instruments? That last song was so…layered and beautiful. So nuanced!”

“I wrote that one,” Gilbert said.

“You are invited to my court any time,” Aurek said. “I take back everything I said about music without drums. This sounds like royal music.”

“That’s why I liked dragon music, actually,” I said. “It doesn’t sound like royal music. You can really dance to dragon music. Our dance tonight isn’t going to be half as fun.”

Ezeru, when he wasn’t placing a hand on my leg and stirring up intense thoughts of how much I wanted more of him, seemed more interested in looking at everyone else through opera glasses. Some of the more well-behaved rock dragons had been invited. A few had even changed into their human-ish forms and dressed up, including Aknu and Nuru, who were wearing mostly flowers that I think they might have stolen from the garden, pinned haphazardly to simple clothing. I guess in a rock dragon’s mind, the best way to dress up was just to adorn yourself with colorful things. Most of them stayed in dragon form.

“They’re falling asleep,” Ezeru said, annoyed. “I apologize. I can go wake them up.”

Phoebe laughed. “It’s okay. They’re like kids. Maybe they’ll still enjoy the music in their dreams.”

“It’s good for people to see them sleeping,” Forrest said. “They’re still associating them with the monsters. Really, I just want the soldiers to get used to them in case they need to fight together.”

During the intermission, I came up to Phoebe. “Can I talk to you a minute about Abel?”

“Abel? What did he do?”

“Nothing. That’s what I’m wondering about. His sister, Raia, is my handmaiden but to be honest, I can tell she’s not happy.”

“Oh, she’s the one whose mother died in the battle. Abel has been wondering about her, but he was so cut off from his family that he doesn’t know what to do. My poor dragons.” She sighed. “Look at Niko with his mom. They struggle at being part of a family. They never had one before.”

“Niko is good with Peri, I think,” I said.

“Yeah, but I can tell how he really feels. The whole situation is tearing him up but he acts all casual about it. I can try to tell Abel to talk to Raia, but it doesn’t fix the problem that he doesn’t know how to talk to anybody. Abel’s the kind of guy where you just have to feel him and look in his eyes.”

I looked out at the reception area. Abel and Forrest were talking to soldiers whom they obviously knew well, probably about the battle. Abel looked much more comfortable that way. Raia had been a soldier too, but I knew she was done with all that. Unlike me, I think Raia was completely ready to just settle down, if she met the right person. “Does Abel have any single men under his command?” I asked. “Someone he’s comfortable around besides you and the guardians?”

“Ooh…how does Raia feel about blondes?”

I laughed. “I don’t think Raia is too picky about hair. There was a rumor she had a crush on Lord Seron. So I guess she likes her men big and protective.”

“Perfect. So, Abel has a secretary…Mr. Merrick Sewell…pure northern kind of guy…”

“A secretary?”

“Not like a secretary in a boring way,” Phoebe said. She really didn’t talk like an empress at all, especially as the night went on. “He was a soldier and he still looks it, but he was too smart for that. He takes Abel’s thoughts and organizes them, sort of. Like, he always has maps under his arm, and…he talks to people on Abel’s behalf. Civilians. For funding and so on. He’s Mr. On Top of Things. He works too hard, but Abel likes him because he’s good at his job.”

“He’s single?”

“He’s too busy to meet anyone.”

“Well, that might be bad…”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Phoebe said. “It’s worth a try. If he won’t make time for it, there’s no harm in that.” She waved me forward. “How was the show, anyway? When I had Rina, Gilbert made some finishing touches without me. I’m sorry about that one song!”

I had no idea which song she was talking about or why she was sorry, but the creative process wasn’t really my forte.

“Mr. Sewell? This is Queen Himika. I want to introduce you to her handmaiden. She used to be a soldier, and since you were just asking about how men and women fight together in the dragon kingdom, I thought you might want to chat.”

Hmm. Mr. Sewell was indeed handsome. He was around thirty—just the right age for Raia, a little older than her but not too much—tall and fair, with faintly sunburned cheeks and a rugged beard. Not just a desk-and-book sort of secretary then, but one who was out in the field if need be.

“Nice to meet you,” I said.

“The pleasure’s mine,” he said, in a northern accent that was music to the ears. “My ma used to say we had dragon blood, but I’ve been puzzling over the dragon ways. I’m afraid the questions might be a little too personal for your handmaiden, though.”

“Oh, heavens, no,” I said. “Raia’s perfect for that. There is absolutely nothing that girl holds back!”

Raia clearly had no idea we were trying to set her up when we brought Mr. Sewell over. That was a good thing, I thought. She started blabbing away about menstruating while on a campaign, and he said, “Do you mind if I take notes, actually?”

Intermission was over by then, and I went back to my seat. Gilbert disappeared and never came back, probably to talk to someone about the Imperial Rose Troupe’s performance. The shortened opera opened with an absolutely beautiful wedding song. Aurek clutched my hand when all the strings swelled.

“I want a symphony,” he said.

“We can work on that when the war is over.”

After the opera, we moved to the ballroom for a dance. The dragons didn’t know any dances, but they took to the floor anyway. What they lacked in skill, they made up with their sense of revelry.

“What do you think?” Rin asked, coming up to me later. “Have I wiped away your bad memories of this palace?”

“That would be hard to do. But…I think it’s been a perfect night. Well—I can’t say that when some of my people are missing. It’s a start, however.”

Raia and Mr. Sewell were still talking and he wasn’t taking notes anymore, they were just chatting easily and drinking wine. That seemed like a good sign.

“I did my best, I hope. You looked happy. If there’s anything you need to tell me—”

“No. Honestly, no. I am very happy.” Ezeru was watching Wretch and Kajira play with a grape. When the cats rolled it under the table, he got it out for them and tossed it across the floor for them to bat around. He might not be that social, but he still looked so delicious in that tight jacket and pants…

“Man, I knew deep down you were as debauched as I was, if you ever got the chance,” Rin said, nudging me.

I snorted, but I wasn’t exactly going to deny it when I was still staring at Ezeru across the room. “Father wouldn’t know what to make of all this. It’s very strange to even imagine what he would say if he was here. You being a guardian…and the emperor. Neither of us living in Gaermon.” I looked at him, speaking carefully. “Rin…if there’s anything you need to tell me… I know this wasn’t the life you wanted.”

“No, it wasn’t. It still isn’t. Sometimes, at first, I did try to think of a way out of it. We could have given the throne to a more willing person. There are plenty of other kings that the emperor crushed, and lords…but even if I don’t trust myself, I trust the six of us.”

“Yes. I understand that.”

“Are you ready for what comes next?”

“I don’t know. But Aurek promised to stay with me.” I smoothed my skirts with my hands. “I’m glad we’re in this together, Rin. I’m scared too. I never thought I’d be a queen or a mother. But I trust the five of us. I just…” I swallowed. “If I only had Aurek, would that be enough now? If I only had Ezeru and Aurek, that…feels like it wouldn’t be enough for me anymore. How selfish is that?”

“You don’t have to explain. When I ran off with Gilbert, we thought all we needed in life was each other. I was completely wrong. I was falling for Phoebe even before I had a sigil but it didn’t take anything away from my love for Gil. And now it’s like I have three brothers as well.”

“Is it ever complicated, though?”

“Oh yeah.” He scratched his head. “Even now, Gilbert was my first true love. But Phoebe is the priestess. And we know the elders want to kill her so they can get control of their own priestess again. Gil and I both know we have to put Phoebe over each other. Hopefully she’s safe here in the palace, but you never know who you can trust for sure.”

“Yes…” At least that was one thing I didn’t have to worry about. It was scary to think that Phoebe could be killed and replaced. Four other men would gain the power of the guardians instead and the current guardians would die. Maybe my brother would be spared because he shared his power with Gilbert, who was the true guardian. Maybe Rina would someday be priestess instead. Or the loss might possibly ruin the kingdom.

“Don’t worry about any of that tonight,” he said. “Why don’t you just take Ezeru to bed already? I see where your eyes keep going.”

I smacked him away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then…but not too early.”