Himika

I passed the eight month mark of my pregnancy, to the midwife’s relief. Much of the dragon army had returned to Irandal through the northern gate, to prepare the palace for our homecoming.

By now the northern winter was in full force. I had never seen so much snow or known what winter really was, living in the southern part of the realm. I lay in bed, warm under layers of blankets, and dreamed of how I might arrange my garden in Irandal, and the hot baths.

I had visitors much of the day, to gossip or read to me.

On that particular afternoon, Gilbert had come to play the harp, and his magical music put me into a dreamy state. Then Raia showed up to bring my afternoon snack and she started talking the second Gilbert’s hand left the strings.

“I tell you, I can’t even imagine if Phoebe had been killed! Poor Emi. She doesn’t want to be priestess at all. She won’t even let Merrick touch her yet. I think she’d rather go home. But she really can’t; she has to be protected now. If Rothair had been her guardian…poor girl.”

“Not to mention Emory,” Gilbert said.

“Are you doing all right with…whatever this arrangement is?” I asked.

“Well, Merrick touches me now. So I’m happy. And I love his sisters! I always wanted sisters. We went and bought fabric in the market today. But poor Emi. Her family is in Gaermon.”

“I hope you don’t call her ‘poor Emi’ this often in her presence,” Gilbert said.

“Oh no! I love her! She’s so adorable. I just want to take care of her.” Raia sounded excited as she put a tray in front of me. Kajira’s food shared the tray, stinking of fish, and Kajira was shoving her nose in it. “I don’t even know what will happen.”

“As long as she doesn’t make any trouble for Phoebe.” Gilbert didn’t look like he trusted Emi much.

“Raia, can you put this bowl on the ground…”

“She won’t. Emi’s very nice. And she only has one guardian. Two, at most. And another potential would awaken if she killed Phoebe, right? It’s in everyone’s interest to keep her alive. Until Rina or one of your girls becomes the priestess, anyway.”

“I shudder to think of that,” Gilbert said.

“That’s how it works, right? Well, I always wanted a big family so I just hope it works out. I’m going to ask Merrick’s sisters to teach me to sew so I can make Emi a dress. Woo her a bit, you know?”

“Raia, please,” I said, as Kajira picked up a chunk of mushed up fish and dumped it on my quilt before eating it.

Raia finally put Kajira’s bowl down. “Okay. Ijaru will see you to bed because I have a date tonight. Enjoy!”

“I’m stressed out now,” Gilbert said as we were left alone again.

A horrible ache shot through me. “Gaaahhh.”

“Right? Sounds like a lot of drama.”

“No, not Raia—although I agree—but it’s the babies.”

“Oh—babies!” He sprang to his feet and took the tray away. “I’ll go get—everyone.”

“Thank you…”

He wasn’t kidding. Everyone was on twins watch all the time, and within moments the room was crowded with so many people that it was almost standing room only. All my men, Phoebe and half of her men, her mom, Peri, Ijaru and her dad for gods sake, my midwife, two crystal dragon healers… Oh gods, Raia was even back.

“I don’t need all of you!” I screamed. “I love you all, but unless you’re my midwife or mate, go away! Gyaaah!”

“Are you in pain?” Oszin asked.

“Yes…!”

The crowd was shooed out promptly. The babies felt like they were ripping me apart inside, but the midwife checked me out and said I was fine. Seron took my hand and the pain started to ease.

I sighed with relief. “That’s better…”

“Stay calm, my lady,” the midwife said. “It’s not time yet. Your contractions are still coming far enough apart. You might want to try and sleep.”

“Mothers of crystal dragons often have a shorter labor,” one of the healers said.

Still, it took time. The midwife tried to calm me down with stories about other women she’d helped give birth, women who were very calm and did stretching exercises and sang birthing songs. I got the feeling I wasn’t a very good patient. All my guys seemed nervous. I knew I was at more risk than other women. And I didn’t like feeling sick. When I was healed from my curse, I thought I would never have to feel like this again. I certainly wasn’t about to start singing birthing songs.

One thing I did feel was the love that surrounded me. Oszin, Aurek, Seron, and Ezeru. I had been so afraid one of them might not be here, but they never left my side. There was always someone to hold my hand and assure me. They betrayed their own nerves now and then, but I knew that if we’d all made it this far, we would make it through this too.

“I’ve lost track of time,” Aurek said. “There are no King’s Hours here. That’s certainly a nice change. I think when we go home, we’ll bring clocks. Along with kidnapping the symphony.”

“And wool,” Ezeru said.

“Wool?”

“It’s a good sturdy fabric.”

“Oh. Well, yes.” Aurek waved a hand like, How boring.

I was drenched in sweat. The contractions were coming faster now. “And food,” I said. “Lots of food. Bread. Rice. Chocolate. So many fruits…” I clenched Seron’s hand tight. “It hurts!”

“I think it’s time to push,” the midwife said.

“Push! Yes! Get out of my body!” I screamed.

As I said, I was a bad laboring mom.

“You can do this, my gem,” Aurekdel said.

“This isn’t like when you were weak,” Oszin said. “This is amazing. And—a lot of work. You’re a fighter.”

I was pushing and screaming and sort of lost in the moment, as I felt the babies moving. “A head!” the midwife said triumphantly. “You’re doing great!”

I was dimly aware that Ezeru and Oszin were watching, Ezeru clutching his shirt and Oszin biting his knuckles, but mostly I just gripped Seron and Aurek’s hands, trying to suck up every bit of crystal dragon magic I could get. The babies weren’t helping. I guess they were going through their own thing.

“It’s a boy!” the midwife cried.

“A boy!” I gasped.

“A beautiful boy!”

The guys were all cheering. I heard everyone outside the door cheering too. I made some weird little sob laugh sounds. Seron stroked my face. “This is…I don’t have words.”

Aurek smeared tears from his eyes.

And then I felt a sudden shift inside me. And a searing pain so horrible I let out an absolutely blood curdling scream. I had never wanted to pass out so badly in my whole life. All the joy drained out of the room. My baby boy started squalling with me. I hadn’t even gotten to look at him.

“What’s happening?”

“Oh, no…”

Seron put his hands on my stomach. “What’s going on with the baby?” he shouted.

“She’s bleeding!”

“Do something!”

I was too wrecked to scream anymore, and I heard myself sobbing, and then I felt the world fading away. It was different than the last time.

It felt like if I let this world go, I would never return. “No…,” I said. “No…Seron…no…”

I saw him look into my eyes. “I won’t let you go,” he said. “My moonlight…”

His face slowly moved away from me, drowning into shadows…