Oszin

In the morning, Izeria flung open the door of my cell. She was carrying a switch and she grabbed my shirt. “I’m angry,” she said. “You know what you are? You’re my whipping boy. Stay right here. There’s a guard right out there, and if you fight back, I’ll have him beat the shit out of you, understand?”

This was so bewildering at first that I didn’t even respond. Then she started striking me with the switch. My shirt barely blunted the blows. She struck me over and over and I grit my teeth as I realized what was happening.

I belonged to her. I was a slave. She could beat me, any time she wanted, without consequence.

Suddenly I grabbed her arm.

She froze, breathing hard.

“Don’t touch me,” she said.

“What is this?” I asked.

Saying that seemed to break a little of her murderous rage. She just wanted to strike something, I guess. What a mess of a queen, I thought. She’s really very weak, if we could just cut her off from power. Wounded animals could be the most dangerous of all, before they drop dead.

“Seron is here,” she said. “They gave the dahna mist to the blind king’s dog.” Well, she didn’t quite say ‘dog’, because there were no dogs here, but that was how in translated in my mind.

“Dog?” I almost laughed. “That’s how you think of him?”

“I know he’s the true king of the high dragons now,” she said. “But to me, he will always be the blind king’s dog. And seeing him now, yes, it’s really remarkable that he’s killed so many of our men. He could barely handle the sight of a man losing his hand.”

My stomach plunged. Ijaru’s father…? Oh, no.

It wasn’t really my fault, I’d just gotten thrown into this, but if I’d slept with Ijaru, this wouldn’t have happened.

But the one who thrust a young girl—and me—into that horrible choice was the woman standing before me, frowning, running her fingers up and down the stiff leather switch.

“You look upset,” I said. “What reason do you have to be upset? You’re the sole queen. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? The northern gate is in your grasp. You even have Seron. Your hated ‘blind king’ must be devastated. So you ought to at least be enjoying yourself.”

“I wanted—Ezeru!” She struck me again. My back felt wet. I must be bleeding. I hardly felt the pain, not yet anyway. It would hit me soon, of course.

“But I have Seron,” she said. “And do you know what I’ve done to him? I gave him a special concoction. It turns your greatest love into your greatest hatred. If he sees your queen, he will kill her.”

I swallowed back my rage. I knew this was what she wanted from me.

“I’ll make a deal with you, boy,” she said. “I’m going to let you out of here in the morning.”

“Why?”

“Because we have to move. And I don’t have much space in the boats for prisoners. I don’t have enough chains either. So you’re going to walk free among us, but you have a big mouth. If you leave, I will kill Seron. Got it? And if you speak to Seron, I’ll rip your tongue out.”

She stormed out, slamming the door shut, my shirt sticking to the blood on my back. I bunched up the worn out furs on my bed, trying to put pressure on the wounds. It wasn’t the best night I’d ever spent, but in the morning, she held to her promise. A woman came and bandaged my wounds and gave me a new shirt, and told me I could go to watch the wedding.

“A wedding? The morning before you leave? That’s odd.”

She nodded. She was a weary, hard-looking woman. Not many of the mist dragons had joy in their eyes.

As I walked out of the dungeon and into the soft haze of the meeting hall, a wedding ceremony was already in progress. The dragons all seemed to be wearing their traveling clothes, even the bride and groom, but at the end of the room before the altar, where candles and incense burned in profusion, was Seron holding the hands of a mist dragon girl.

She was beaming. I guess she had been chosen to marry Ezeru, and now she was handed Seron instead. I’m sure it seemed like a better bargain to her. Ezeru was strange in ways that Seron wasn’t.

But Seron wasn’t the Seron I knew. He had been drugged, his face lacking any of its usual emotions—the dry humor he used with Aurek, the passionate way he looked at Himika. There was a muted fury in his eyes, barely restrained. He looked like he wanted to break out of the room. Was he planning to escape? But those weren’t Seron’s eyes. Seron was calm under pressure. He had seen lots of battles and wasn’t going to lose himself to rage that easily. Besides that, he didn’t seem angry at Izeria. I knew Seron was as loyal as I was. He would never betray my Moth, and she would forgive him for marrying this mist dragon girl while under a spell, but he would never forgive himself.

Damnit.

I wondered if Izeria could be telling the truth. If she really could twist Seron’s love for Himika into hatred.

If he saw her, he would remember her. No one could hate Himika. I couldn’t imagine otherwise.

Was there anything at all I could do to stop it? Why put me in this position? I was still kind of jealous of Seron. For a human, I was strong, but I wasn’t Seron. I never would be. And I had to share my girl with her.

Still, I knew what a good man he was, and how horrified he would be if he got his right mind back.

The queen and Rothair were watching over the proceedings carefully. It seemed like they were studying Seron for any signs of rebellion. I’d never seen such a joyless wedding. Only the bride seemed happy. The guests were all just kind of muted.

Seron repeated the vows, his voice emotionless. I would never have recognized it as his. “I…Tanu…guard you with my body unto death. From this day forward, I am the earth and you are the core. As the core of the earth gives heat to our world, so you will bring the fire of life to our union. From this day forward, I am yours, and never again shall I lay a hand on another woman.”

The vows were the same as Aurekdel had spoken to Himika.

“I, Emiri, accept your hand in marriage, your devotion and protection. I embrace your home and family as my own. As you shall guard me, I shall guard our children.”

“These words have been spoken over the sacred sword of Gemuru, the blade Agarnu, and are now binding before the court.”

Izeria’s eyes flicked to me and she smiled a little. It wasn’t like wedding vows were a spell, but I got the idea. She felt she’d won the day.

No wonder Ezeru was so specific about wanting to see the king and queen’s heads on pikes. What a bitch.

Emiri looked at Seron hopefully. He leaned down—way down—and kissed her. It was a fierce kiss. I could hardly even watch. I never expected how upset I’d feel seeing one of Moth’s other lovers being forced to be with someone else. I had struggled with sharing her, but now I saw the alternative, and it was worse. Seron was a good man, and Himika loved him.

Maybe this is the real reason I’m here.

Emiri sort of half-dragged Seron away from the altar. I could see Seron’s eyes searching the room like he was trying to fight past the mists. But how long could he fight it?

Izeria and Rothair walked down behind them. “Congratulations to the beautiful young couple! I’m sure many children will follow. Now, breakfast and music, and then we will depart.”

A man tapped on my shoulder and said, “The queen says you are to be put to work as a footman. Come with me.”

I was brought downstairs to the kitchens and handed a tray of food that looked revolting even by dragon standards, live wriggling grubs sitting on leaves. I could tell the man gave me this one on purpose, just to test me. I’d seen worse in battle, but…damned if I still wasn’t feeling queasy as I brought the tray out to the royal family as instructed. For now, I figured I just needed to keep my head down, but I was watching for any chance to speak to Seron.

He stayed mostly quiet. Actually, the whole bridal party hardly seemed to know what to talk about. Which made sense, because if they had expected Ezeru to be in this position, well, that was a different story. I could see an older couple who must be the bride’s parents struggling to make conversation with this total stranger who had his memories wiped. If it had been Ezeru, they could have talked about real events and just left out the part where they treated him like shit. But Seron had memory of this court.

Seron always had Emiri nearby. I couldn’t so much as whisper something to him.

I saw Ijaru, carrying wine around the room. She looked like she’d been crying. When she saw me, she gave me a twisted smile. I shook my head. I felt so terrible about what had happened, and she seemed to see me as a friend.

She caught up to me in the hall. “Oszin? The queen let you out?”

“Yeah. I don’t think you should get too friendly with me though. I am incredibly sorry about what happened to your father.”

“It wasn’t your fault at all. Are you planning something?”

“Maybe.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Well, I didn’t ask for your permission. I need to save my friend.”

“I don’t want the queen to hurt you!”

I turned to her. “Ijaru…you’re a sweet girl. I hope you get out of here. I’m sorry we ended up crossing paths in such an unfortunate way before. But this is serious business now. You need to just stay out of it.”

“Could I help?”

“Absolutely not. I can’t let you get hurt.”

“But I might be able to get close to Seron and give him a message or something. That’s who he really is, right? The commander who’s the new king of the dragons?”

“Please stay out of it,” I said. “Seron knows me.”

At least…he must know me, somewhere deep down…mustn’t he? I wondered, watching the blank look in his eyes. It chilled me to think that the mist could alter someone’s mind like this, and the more I watched him, the more I knew I couldn’t let this stand. I couldn’t hurt Seron or Himika this way, if there was anything I could possibly do to stop it.

I finally had a chance at the end of dinner. The dragons were dancing, the room was smoky, and the queen was talking to courtiers. Seron and his new bride both got up at the same time and started walking off in different directions. Having spent a long feast downing drinks, I could imagine their bladders were calling by now.

I walked past him. I knew I couldn’t linger. I only had a second and I hoped it was enough. “Lord Seron…remember the woman you love is Himika, not Emiri. Don’t tell the queen. She is not on your side.”

“Himika…?” I was already walking by, but I heard him murmur the name.

My heart was beating so fast that as I cleared away dishes I drank one of the neglected cups of wine.

It was done. If Seron didn’t understand my words, if he didn’t remember any of it, I could suffer just like Ijaru’s father, with Izeria’s cruel smile regarding me all the while. I broke into a sweat. It felt much too possible. What the hell had I done?