By the time we reached the shore near our hotel, I was certain of four things.
Numero uno: I was still, in fact, a jerk addict.
Numero dos: I kissed Ollie.
Numero tres: I wasn’t bilingual, but I knew how to count to ten in Spanish thanks to my sister Hazel’s kids’ love for Dora the Explorer. Who, by the way, was far too loud and yell-y for my liking. Like, cool it, Dora. We get it. You have a backpack and a map.
And numero cuatro? I was doing quite the bang-up job of avoiding the issue at hand.
Which, by the way, I still couldn’t believe I’d kissed him, you guys!
Just straight up, placed my lips to his, slipped my tongue into his mouth, flipping kissed him.
Apparently, I needed Jesus.
And a nap.
And quite possibly a lobotomy.
[sighs]
Anyway, once Ollie had rowed the kayak all the way to the sand, he held out a strong hand and helped me to my feet.
“This was…fun,” he said, and all I could do was nod.
“Uh-huh.”
I mean, what else could I say? Oh yeah, this was fantastic! Especially that whole part where I went temporarily insane and freaking kissed you!
[laughs]
Yeah, I would’ve rather buried my head in the sand than said that out loud.
“Did you have fun?” he asked and used one strong arm to drag the kayak farther up the sand. He stuck it beside the hotel’s kayak and scuba equipment rental, just behind the rows of beach chairs and umbrellas.
Did I have fun?
Yes, I had.
But was I on board with the kind of fun I’d let myself have?
Now that, well, it was the question of the day, my friends.
With a half smile all but forced to my lips, I muttered, “Uh-huh,” and then quickly added, “Thank you.”
“It was my pleasure.” He smiled in response and tossed the oars down into the empty kayak.
I’m sure you can imagine I was a little lost for words in that moment.
My swimming lesson number two had turned into a make-out session instigated by yours truly.
If that wasn’t enough to make your brain go haywire, I don’t know what would.
So, I just kind of stood there for a minute, digging my toes into the sand and staring down at my feet.
My mind was a mess.
My thoughts scattered all over the damn place.
And even though I kind of wanted to be a rude asshole and make a beeline for the privacy of my hotel room, I couldn’t.
Yes, our day had ended hella awkward, but in reality, it hadn’t been his fault.
It was my fault.
If anything, once I’d bluntly told him to shut up about the kiss thing, he’d dropped the subject like a bad habit.
And more than that, how could I be rude to him after he’d taken the time to show me how to swim?
He didn’t need to do that.
He definitely wasn’t obligated to do that.
But he’d done it all the same.
God, I just needed to get myself together.
I needed to actually thank him for the vital break he’d given me. And then, once I’d achieved that, I planned to go hide inside my hotel room like a hermit and berate myself for my questionable kissing choices.
“Ollie, listen, I—” I started to say, but when I heard both Ollie’s and my name in the distance, I paused and glanced over my shoulder to see Jordy smiling toward us.
“Yo, Ollie! Unlucky Lucky!” he called again as he made the short jog from the sandy path that led from the hotel to where we stood by the rental hut. “Well, well, well, looks like someone has finally come out of the, what did you call it, writing cave?” he questioned and nudged me gently with his elbow.
“Yep, it appears that way.” I couldn’t not return his adorable smile. “But it’s only for a little while. I’m actually heading back there now.”
He glanced back and forth between Ollie and me. “What have you guys been up to today?”
“A little kayaking,” Ollie answered. “Just wanted to show Lucky here a few of my favorite spots.”
“Nice,” Jordy said and rocked back and forth on his heels. “You guys grabbing lunch now or—?”
Grabbing lunch with Jordy and Ollie?
That felt like a recipe for disaster.
I shook my head without hesitation. “I actually need to head back upstairs. Work, deadlines, you know how it goes.”
“Damn,” Jordy muttered playfully. “And here I was hoping my best girl could join me for a bite.”
The instant the words best girl fell from his lips, I felt Ollie’s eyes move toward my face. I glanced at him out of my periphery, but I couldn’t really deduce what he was thinking.
“I’m gonna have to take a rain check, pal,” I said and patted Jordy on the shoulder. “But maybe Ollie could keep you company in my absence.” I moved my full gaze to Ollie’s, and he searched my face for a few beats before breaking our eye contact.
“Whaddya say?” Jordy asked, and Ollie shrugged.
“Sure, mate. Why the hell not?”
Somehow, someway, I’d been given the most perfect out, and I honestly wasn’t sure if I was relieved or annoyed.
“Well, I guess I’ll leave you guys to it,” I said and picked up my beach towel from the spot where Ollie had left our stuff before we’d gone kayaking. “Have fun, boys. I’ll be inside, slaving away,” I called over my shoulder and pushed my feet through the sand as I headed in the direction of the hotel.
“Hey!” Jordy’s voice filled my ears. “Lucky! Wait up for a minute!”
I stopped in my tracks and turned to find Jordy jogging toward me.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, but then he paused and his eyes turned serious. “Well, I hope everything is okay…”
I tilted my head to the side in confusion.
“The kiss,” he said and briefly glanced down at his bare feet before meeting my eyes again.
The kiss? My heart catapulted into a panicked rhythm at his words. How in the hell did he know I’d kissed Ollie?
Holy fucking shit.
“I guess…” He paused for a beat but eventually continued, “I guess I just wanted to make sure things weren’t weird between us after I, you know, kissed you.”
He was talking about our kiss, his and mine.
Oh, thank God.
And, seriously? I really needed to stop kissing people.
I grinned up into his earnest eyes. “You have nothing to worry about,” I said. “We’re good. Promise.”
“You sure?” he asked and crinkled his nose. “I’d just hate it if I made things weird between us, you know,” he explained. “I know I’ve only known you for a short time, but I like your friendship, Lucky. And that’s not just some line, I really mean that.”
“I like your friendship too, Jordy.”
“Pinkie promise?” He held out his pinkie finger, and instantly, I giggled.
“Pinkie promise.”
He let out a deep breath just as we unlocked fingers. “Okay, good. I feel a lot better after talking to you,” he said. “For a little while there, I thought maybe the whole work excuse was just you giving me the cold shoulder or something.”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that at all.”
“So, we’re good?”
“We’re good.” I grinned. “Now, leave me alone so I can head toward my fate of misery and deadlines for the next twenty-four hours.”
He chuckled at that. “See ya around, Lucky.”
I turned on my heel, offered a small wave over my shoulder, and headed toward the hotel terrace doors.
But just before I walked away from Jordy, I didn’t miss Ollie, standing off in the distance, his gaze locked on both Jordy and me.
I offered up a silent prayer that he couldn’t actually hear our conversation or else he might get the impression I was some floozy who just went around kissing everyone.
[laughs]
I mean, to an outsider looking in, it very well could have seemed that way, you know?
But in my defense, Jordy had kissed me.
So, I was like fifty-fifty when it came to initiating kisses.
Those weren’t bad odds, right?
[laughs again]
Even though my mind raced like it was striving for a flipping NASCAR trophy, I didn’t have time to get lost in my thoughts again. I had so much work to do, and the one-hour break I’d been willing to take had turned into a three-hour kayak adventure with Ollie.
First, work, I told myself. Then, you can overthink all of your questionable life decisions.
By the time I reached the fifth floor and opened my hotel room door, I was ready to get back to it.
Ready to go down Ex-Boyfriend Memory Lane.
Next up, the current convict from Jersey. Otherwise known as the tattoo artist who’d found himself a little too deep into the criminal underbelly of his motorcycle gang.
Our relationship had been a bit toxic from the start, but the real nail in our love coffin had been the lies that had fallen from his lips.
Lie after lie after lie, he’d never been honest with me.
Not about himself. Not about his lifestyle. And sure as hell not about his penchant for money laundering.
When I’d found out about what he’d done, I’d been devastated.
I’d questioned everything about the relationship.
I’d questioned him.
I’d even questioned myself.
But after it was all said and done, I’d learned that in order for a relationship to work, there has to be honesty and trust.
Without those two things, things like true intimacy can’t exist.
My mind was straight, my thoughts were focused, and without even taking off my suit, I grabbed my laptop, made my way out onto the balcony and got to work.
Hello, Ronnie Matthews. It’s been a while…
I stayed fixated on him, on our relationship, for a good two hours, but when I’d finished his letter, where did my mind go?
[sighs]
That’s right, wonderful listeners.
It went straight back to Ollie.
To the one man I couldn’t stop thinking about…