SNEAK PEEK : THE BROKEN BITS
A new YA Contemporary coming soon from NYT and USA TODAY bestselling author Shelly Crane, The Broken Bits
I’ve heard that love is a battlefield. Truer words have never been spoken. But I’d also bet that whoever said that had never played wide receiver for their college football team either.
And had done so in the shadow of their quarterback best friend.
So is love a battlefield?
I look behind me as I leap, my arms outstretched, my pulled shoulder tugging and angry, but you better believe I catch that ball.
I’m Embry Tucker and it’s my job to not miss.
Or so that’s what coach and my moms, my quarterback, my best friend Ethan says. Don’t miss. Catch that ball for Ethan.
I roll when I land on the turf, the ball still snug in my arm, and then raise both arms over my head for victory, bracing for impact. Still when Goat slams in to my back, it punches the breath from me.
“You did it, you crazy bastard!” he says as he picks me up over his shoulder.
“We did it,” I corrected.
“Damn right we did!” he yells and the crowd that’s begun to pile onto the field echoes his sentiments as he puts me back to the ground none to gently.
When I turn to celebrate SEC Championship victory with my quarterback, he’s already left the field. I look over the heads and shoulders of my teammates and fans who pile past me. That’s when I see him with her on the sidelines. Captain of the cheerleading squad, inhumanly gorgeous, insurmountably sweet and kind, huge heart, massive…spirit, legs from now ‘til next Tuesday.
Otherwise known as his girlfriend, Ellie.
And then there’s me. He was in love with the girl who I was also in love with, and I had been the bleeding-heart third wheel for two years now.
He picked her up and swung her around gently. I should have known that he’d go to her as soon as the game was over. He was a good guy like that since she was pregnant with his child after all. We were graduating in just a couple of months, and we’d all be heading out to the real world.
Together.
The three amigos, the three E’s, one big happy family.
Is love a battlefield?
You’re damn right it is.
And I was losing the war.
. . . . .
“Can we please put the top up!” Victoria screeched from beside me in the backseat—our usual spot.
Ethan and Ellie sat up front in his Jeep, and whoever my flavor of the month was sat in the back with me. It never worked out for long with me with anyone because Ellie was always in their way. They just didn’t know it.
“Here.” I shrugged off my leather jacket and put it around her shoulders. “Better?”
She smiled. “Yes. Thanks.” But then she grimaced, in what she must think is a cute way. “But that doesn’t help my hair, now does it?”
Ellie passed her sunglasses back to her. “Here. Those should help hold it back.” She sighed. “But honestly, Vic, who cares!” she screams into the night above here, laughing.
God, I could watch her all night.
She continued, “We won! We’re graduating. I’m getting married! All is right in the world.”
I see their hands intertwine in between their seats. Victoria’s hair whips across my cheek every now and then, even as she tried to wrangle it.
“Who cares? I care! Do you know how long a blowout will last if you don’t mess it up?” Vic puffed aggravated breath from her lips. “I thought we were going to the after party?”
“We are, Vic,” Ethan calms. “Just chill, girl.” He smiled at her in the rearview mirror. “I know Embry’s got you tied up in knots, but it’s victory night! Relaxation is the only objection.”
“I’m always tied up with Embry,” she sang and wrapped her arm around mine.
Ethan hoots, banging his fists on the steering wheel a couple times, before yelling, “I bet you are! Best receiver in the SEC. Puts his mind to something, he gets it done, baby.”
“All right,” I griped leaning forward to shove Ethan’s shoulder, “cut it out.” Then I swiped the ballcap from Ellie’s head and put it on my own. She feigned rage and turned to get it back, but Ethan reached his hand out in front of her.
“Hey, hey, now. Don’t get out that seatbelt while I’m driving.”
She rolled her eyes as she plopped back into the seat playfully. “I’m not even showing yet. And you better watch your tone with me, Ethan Tucker. I’ll call your Mama.”
He laughed as he reached over and squeezed her leg. “I just bet you would.”
I looked out the window, or the spot where there was lack-of-window, unable to watch them any longer tonight.
But of course, I couldn’t have peace for long. I got sucked right back in.
“Embry, you heard from the NFL yet?” Ellie asked, peeking over her shoulder at me, tucking her curls behind her ear.
I shook my head. “Not yet.”
She made a cute little pout mouth. “Don’t worry. It’s coming. They’d be insane not to chase you all the way to the finish.”
“Thanks, Ell,” I tried to say, but my voice was hoarse. She was always looking out for me—for both of us boys—always making sure that we were taken care of, doing the right thing, having fun but staying close to the line of propriety, getting the job done that we needed to do.
Ethan’s mom passed away when he was born, Ellie’s mom passed when she was nine, and mine when I was eleven. So Ellie sorta became the momma hen of the group.
“And what about you?” I began, “Is—”
“Well I think that things are different now,” Ethan butted in gently. “Whatever plans we had before are going to be a little different now.”
“Right,” Ellie agreed, but I could tell she was just agreeing for agreeing sake. Ethan was a nice guy. I mean such a nice guy. It made it hard to disagree with him about things sometimes.
“Oh, you can’t seriously mean you’re not going to—”
“Embry,” Ethan said, meeting my eyes in the rearview mirror.
“What? You both worked hard for this. I don’t see why you have to throw that away because—”
“We’re having a baby,” he said like I was daft and dumb and an idiot that couldn’t grasp that their life was over.
“A baby!” I argued. “Yes. A baby. It’s a little human that lives with you; it’s not a prison sentence.”
He rolled his eyes and slumped a little further down into the seat. They’d just found out about the baby last weekend so jets had had plenty of time to cool.
I’m waiting on news for myself, a yea or a nay on a coaching job, but the Saints got back to the golden boy ages ago. And why shouldn’t they? He’s been MVP and gotten the game ball more times at Bama than I have fingers.
“I know it’s a baby,” he continued, “and I know it’s not a prison. It still changes things. A lot.” He looked at Ellie with a smile. “But we’re gonna be fine. Right, babe? You’re going to come with me to New Orleans and everything’s going to work out.”
“Right,” she answered softly, this look on her face like he hung the freaking moon up above us himself.
“We’re still going to do everything we’ve always talked about,” he promised, putting his hand on her flat stomach. I looked away out my window again, feeling Vic tug on my arm and shiver.
“Still cold?” I whispered.
She nodded, her hands bunched under her chin. I cared about Victoria, even though she wasn’t the girl I was in love with, I cared about her a lot. She was the girl I kept going back to when I needed someone, when being the third wheel got to being unbearable and I needed a buffer. She was a good one because she was sweet, she was friends with us already, and there was no risk of entanglement, and I enjoyed her company. I think she must have gotten the memo long ago that this was just a casual thing because she never pushed for more, she never acted like a jealous girlfriend, and she went out with other people, too. It was kind of perfect, her and I.
I put my arm around her and pulled her under my arm. It was unseasonably cold and Ethan had to ride with the top down.
“Better?”
She nodded against my arm. “Freezin’ to freaking death back here in the back of this death trap.”
Ethan was still talking up front as if we hadn’t said anything at all.
“We’re still going to take over the world, one football field at a time.” His eyes met mine in the rearview mirror. “Ain’t that right, buck?”
“You know it.” I couldn’t help but grin when he got going like this.
“And we’re still going to dominate planet earth.” Ellie laughed loudly, leaning over to put her head against Ethan’s arm. “We’ll just have a little mini-me running around with us to help kick ass.”
“Or a little mini-me,” Ellie argued.
“Oh, God, help me, no,” Ethan groaned. He rubbed her stomach. “She’s not even born yet and I already want to kick his scrawny little pimpled thinks-he’s-gonna-touch-my-daughter ass.”
We were rolling. Ethan was good like that. He didn’t know what try meant, he only succeeded.
He looked up at Ellie’s face. “She’ll look like you. The boys won’t leave her alone.”
“He’ll look like you.” She smiled and I saw a tear flash from the side of her eye. “You’ll have to teach him how to be a gentleman and not let all that attention go to his head.”
Ethan chuckled. “God, I love you.”
And he did. You knew he did when he looked at her. It was all over both of them.
“I love you, Ethan Marshall.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek.
“Are we almost there?” Vic whines from my side, drawing Ellie’s eyes to the backseat. “It’s colder than witch’s boobs out here.”
When she saw my arm around Vic, she raised her eyebrows. She was all the time trying to get me to settle down, be as happy as they were, she said. Little did she know that those words were my peril.
“Almost there,” Ethan said just as the GPS on his phone yelled for his to make a left turn in twenty feet. “I promise next time we’ll put the top up.”
“Promises, promises,” Vic taunts as Ethan slows the Jeep to a crawl, his blinker coming on as we wait to turn on what looks to be a dirt road. I can already hear the music from the road.
“Must be some party,” I mused, “I hope the cops don’t get ca—”
What happened next was hard to say. I just got bits and pieces, really.
Broken bits.
Ones that didn’t fit together and didn’t look right or smell right or have the same coloring as before. As I opened my eyes I knew right away I was in a hospital. I knew that I wasn’t hurt too bad. I could move so I did. I looked around the room to find my dad there in the chair beside me, which is a stun in and of itself.
My father is an alcoholic. Once God took my mother, my father decided he’d speed up the process and get their quicker by drinking himself to death.
So the fact that my father is here tells me two things right off. One, this is really, really bad. So bad that my father either drove drunk or sobered up to drive here. Two, now that I was fully awake I could feel the bubble of pain filling inside. It was about to pop. I strained and my father looked up.
“Whoa, sit still.”
“What happened?”
His mouth opened and then closed, opened and then closed. “Son..”
“Dad,” I said harder. “What happened? Where’s Ellie? Where’s Ethan?”
I tried to lift up, but pain like I’d never experienced before shot through my chest, enough to make me see stars. I cursed as I laid my head back down, even as my father pushed me down with a hand on my shoulder.
“You can’t, son.”
I palmed my chest. “What the hell,” I muttered, feeling the tape and gauze over my skin.
“I had to consent,” he said. “You’ve been out of it for a few days now.”
“Days?” I whisper in agony, knowing that something is up. “What happened to me? Where is Ethan, Dad?”
“You were in an accident,” he said gently before standing and coming to lean against my bed near my legs. His hands shake as he puts them in his pocket. He’s going cold turkey. What. The. Hell. What could have happened to make him do that when nothing else ever did?
“A semi smashed into you from behind where you were stopped, knocking you into the other lane, where a truck hit you there, too. The Jeep’s totaled. Victoria’s fine. She’s already home, in fact. Ellie’s still here, for observation for her and the baby, but I’m pretty sure she’s about ready to go home, too.”
Thank God.
“How long have I’ve been…asleep?”
“Three days. You’ve been recuperating from surgery.”
“Surgery?” I squint as my hand runs over the gauze on my chest once more. “What’s did they do to me?”
“You were one of the lucky ones, Embry.” He sighed as he turned to look out the window. “When you mark that little box on our driving license we never think that we’ll actually get to use it one day. Most people who need an organ have to wait months, years even, they said.”
An organ…
I ran my hand over my chest, applying pressure, regretting it immediately when an unpleasant zing zapped through my body.
“But not you,” he continued, “you’re meant to be here, Embry. Don’t you see that? It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“What makes sense? Dad!” I said louder, frustration breaking over me like waves on sand.
“When your heart was damaged in the wreck, they thought they’d have to find you one, to wait for one, to agonize over one, but one showed up out of thin air practically, and it was meant for you.” He nodded.
“I got a new heart?”
“You know what I always say,” he tried to grin but it was weak, “stuff that’s old to someone else is new to you.”
I got a new heart. I got a new—
No. No.
But one showed up out of thin air practically, and it was meant for you.
Your heart was damaged in the wreck, they thought they’d have to find you one, to wait for one.
I held my breath for a few seconds, gathering courage that I didn’t even possess. “Where’s Ethan, Dad?” I croaked. “Tell me.”
“Son,” he put his hand on my leg, “he…didn’t make it.”
No.
“The paramedics did everything they could, and then they brought him here and the doctors did everything they could, too. He was just…too far gone. And then you were bad off as well and you needed a heart. It was like Ethan…wanted you to have it.”
“Dad,” I growled, “don’t ever say that again.”
“Son,” he reasoned.
“No,” I shouted, feeling the pull and sharp tug in my chest but continuing anyway. “I killed him, Dad. I’m only alive because of him.”
“You didn’t kill him—”
“Why didn’t they just give him my heart instead?”
“Like I said, his body was too far gone. He was already—”
“He was going to be a father,” I heard myself say, hysterics letting loose in my insides. “He can’t be gone! He needs to be here.”
Before I knew what was happening, my father was yelling for the nurse and doctor, needles were being shoved into my arms, sleep was claiming me once more, like I hadn’t just woken up from a three-day nap, and I was drowning in guilt.
My best friend was dead.
His girlfriend, the girl I was in love with but she didn’t know it, was in the other room knowing that the father of her baby was gone forever. Probably knowing that the father of her baby’s heart was now home in my chest cavity where it didn’t belong, keeping me alive instead of Ethan.
I felt like a murderer.
And it wasn’t long before everyone would know that the hero’s heart beat in my chest now.
Coming Soon. In the meantime, enjoy all Shelly’s other books on Kindle Unlimited. Links and teasers at her site: