Chapter 8

Lia

The Carinthia River Fest was one local tradition I could get behind. I’d been attending every May for as far back as I could remember. I loved everything about this event. The smells, the sounds, the food and carnival rides, even the sketchy ones. Craft booths sat to the left side of the bike path we walked down, while to our right, playground equipment and picnic tables filled the space. Boats and Jet Ski engines echoed along the Mississippi River, both making waves that crashed on the rocky edges of the shore.

This festival marked the beginning of summer, everyone in the community coming together to celebrate our small town’s biggest hubbub. Normally, I relished this time, the warm spring air, the sight of geese and ducks herding their babies into the water.

Yet for the first time in all the years I could recall coming here, something was missing. And as much as I hated to admit it, I knew it was the fact that Max—who was currently ten steps ahead of us, nose buried in the hair of one of his zillion admirers, acting as though I no longer existed.

It’d been a week and two days since the two of us had our falling-out at Jimney’s. Nine long days I’d spent trying to figure out how to bring up our conversation and apologize for being a bitch and saying what I did. Nine even longer days of him avoiding me every time I stopped by his place. Now we were finally in the same vicinity, yet every time I opened my mouth to talk to him, he’d run off and flirt with some random girl, or—worse yet—pretend I wasn’t alive.

Not only was it pissing me off, but it was making me binge eat carney food.

“Jesus, Sis, you hungry?” Collin laughed and pointed a finger just below the V of my vintage blue Spider-Man T-shirt. “You’re a mess.” Blue eyes like mine crinkled at the corners in amusement. I was more than thankful he was oblivious to the tension between me and his best friend. I’d never want to mess up their friendship, no matter what kind of beef Maxwell and I had.

Frowning, I looked at my shirt, noting the blotch of ketchup that’d just annihilated the front. “Shit.”

“Language,” Colly mumbled, nodding his head back at my niece, who was sitting on his shoulders, squealing as she pointed a finger at the Ferris wheel to our right.

“Sorry.” Like a petulant child, I slammed my corn dog stick into a nearby garbage pail, then crossed my arms as I looked again at Max.

The girl he was suddenly so accommodating to had her head tilted up in a laugh. Gorgeous brown hair fell down her back, curling at the ends, kind of how mine used to. Her body had curves for miles, while I was flat as a board, with A cups and no ass. Didn’t matter though. I wouldn’t dare compare myself to one of Max’s conquests.

“Leave her be.” Addie told Collin, tucking her arm through mine. “She’s had a long day.”

That I had. I’d picked up some extra hours at Java Java’s and was up at the crack of dawn baking baguettes and scones yesterday and today. Normally, this wouldn’t be an issue, but the fact that I had been working at Jimney’s as well really put a damper on all things sleep. Still, that wasn’t my only reason for being so off-kilter.

“I want cotton candy. Pink.” I pouted, lip puffed out like Chloe’s.

“You’re gonna be sick.” Addie laughed.

I looked at my closest girlfriend and deadpanned, “Bring it.”

“Do you think you might be binging for a reason?” she whispered in my ear, jerking her chin in the direction of my current state of woe.

I frowned. “No.”

“Liar.” She grinned knowingly, then steered me toward the sweets trailer, while Collin and Gavin headed inside the carnival, along with my niece, claiming the need to win some stuffed animals for Beaner.

In the window of the battered trailer sat promises of all things fatty and delicious. Deep-fried Twinkies, funnel cakes, ice cream, candy apples, and most importantly, cotton candy.

Pushing my money away when we approached the open window, Addie gave the worker a twenty, buying my cotton candy and a funnel cake for herself.

“You know you can make this all go away by walking over to him now. He won’t turn you away when Collin is right there,” she said.

“I’ve tried all evening, if you haven’t noticed.” We headed into the festival to find the guys, the two of us shoving food in our mouths like our lives depended on it.

“What happened between you two?” Addie used her finger to scoop up some powdered sugar.

“Long story that ends with me calling him out on his constant lack of employment and him walking out on me.” Though our issues had started before that, I couldn’t bring myself to admit how long I’d been hurting. Not out loud, at least.

“Lia…” Addie shook her head, her voice filled with sadness.

“I know, I know.” I tore more cotton candy off the stick and popped it in my mouth, not even able to enjoy it. “But he’s been coming into the bar and fighting with any guy who even breathes at me wrong.” I scrunched my nose. “It’s annoying and he wasn’t taking the hint, so I had to improvise other ways to get him to go.”

“And how old are you again?” Addie quirked a brow.

“Don’t remind me.” I groaned. “It was stupid and I was being a fool, end of story.”

Silence passed between us as we made our way through the crowd toward the guys and Chloe. Just when I thought the subject had been dropped, Addie piped in again, the forever fixer on an obvious mission.

“Has something happened to make him feel the need to be so protective of you lately?” She pulled me to a stop and searched my face. “Is it Travis? I know you two broke up, but I never got the whole story.”

My cheeks grew hot, yet the answer wouldn’t come. If she found out I’d spent the night in jail, she’d tell Collin. Neither she nor my brother needed my extra drama when they’d just figured out their own.

“No, everything’s…” Before I could reply with another lie, Max walked right into our path toward Collin, Gav, and Chloe.

In all my very ashamed glory, I watched, lips curling into a frown, as he shoved a small piece of paper into his pocket. It was a phone number, no doubt. The stupid grin lighting his profile made that fact well known. I gritted my teeth, finding it extremely hard to believe that he’d put his overactive sex life on hold when he’d been so actively flirting with everything in a skirt tonight.

“Lia?”

“Huh?” I blinked, meeting Addie’s questioning stare again. “Oh. No, nothing’s happened. I’m fine.” I waved her off, almost forgetting what she’d asked. Instead, my gaze drifted back toward Max. “Max is just…”

Protecting me?

Annoying me?

Making my head spin with thoughts I shouldn’t be having when I needed to be getting my shit together? My debt. My diploma. Then, somewhere along the way, my life too.

“Never mind.” I waved my answer away and started toward our group.

With a sigh, Addie followed, greeting my brother with a kiss on the cheek. He and Gavin were riled up in a head-to-head battle of Skee-Ball.

With his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts, Max made goofy faces at Chloe before turning to face Addie, not me. “Gonna go get some beers for the boys, Short Stuff. You up for one?” His hair stuck up at all different angles as he ran his fingers through it. He looked like porn star meets Abercrombie model, and I absolutely hated it. I hated it because looking at him made my insides dip and my lady parts warm. Max was too insanely gorgeous for his own good. That was one fact I could never deny.

“Nah, I’m good.” Addie looked at me, her eyes wide as she jerked her head toward Max. “Lia? Do you need anything?”

I frowned, my insides still doing twists and dives like an Olympian on the high board as I met Max’s stare. “Yeah, um…I’ll take—”

“I’ll be right back then.” With a salute aimed at his friends and a wink directed toward Addie, both while completely ignoring me, Max took off, practically skipping over to the beer tent.

“Jerk,” I grumbled under my breath, watching him go.

Addie laid her head on my shoulder, stuffing her mouth full of funnel cake as she said, “He’s in love with you, and you hurt his feelings. He doesn’t know what to do with himself.”

An unladylike snort slipped out of my nose as I shoved more cotton candy between my lips. “Max Martinez wouldn’t know love if it bit him in the ass.” And with me at that? Hell no. Not possible.

My crush on Max had been innocent at first. I’d barely remembered what he looked like the night he carried me out of that frat house, but I’d memorized the warmth of his arms. The way they’d promised me safety when, moments before, I’d been ready for the world to suck me away completely. It was classic hero worship that had lasted the entire time he was overseas with my brother and Gavin. But at the same time, remembering his heroics had helped keep me focused on my healing.

It took months for the nightmares to go away. Months for my broken hand to heal—the one I’d gotten when I tried to fight back against my attacker. My attacker had once been the cute guy down the hall in my apartment building. He’d been flirting with me for weeks before I’d finally caved and went out with him that night.

It was a mistake I would forever regret.

He told me I was beautiful. Then kissed my cheek, only to hand me a laced drink at a party I never would have gone to, had I not been sucked into his green eyes and oversweet demeanor. My only saving grace was that he had been too drunk to get his body to work the way he’d intended it to. If he’d been sober, there’s no doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t have been able to fight him off.

To this day, trusting the opposite sex wasn’t something I could do easily. Travis had obviously not helped with that matter. It’s exactly why I’d hardened myself. Why I’d quit college after my attack when I’d only had three more months to go. Why I’d gotten my tattoos, dyed my hair, set out to change myself altogether. It’s also when I decided that I would never again be put in a position where I might need a rescuer.

But the second Max got off that plane last summer, after his time as a marine ended, my crush on him had intensified to something far more. He was the only guy I saw. The only guy I thought about. The only guy I wanted to see. It was dangerous but thrilling. He was safe, forbidden, something I could love from a distance that wouldn’t hurt me.

But then we became fast friends. Friends, which suddenly wasn’t enough for me. I wanted Max, and when I’d finally felt safe enough to open my heart, I’d made that known to him the best I could.

At least I’d thought I had.

“How do you know Max wouldn’t change with the right woman?” Addie asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Those kinds of men never change.” I cleared my throat. “And besides, he looks at me like I’m a sister.” But he sure as hell kissed you like a lover.

“I don’t see that.”

I nudged her shoulder as we walked back to the guys. “Then you must be blind.”

She nudged me back. “You know, Max is a lot like your brother used to be. Collin had a strict no-serious-dating policy when I first met him. That changed, so who’s to say you can’t be that girl to change Max’s way of thinking?”

I scowled. “And who says I’d even want to be that girl?” Liar.

“Because I’ve seen the way you two are when you’re together.”

“Friends…” I dragged the word out and glared at the gravel beneath our feet. With a little extra huff, I kicked some loose pieces to the side. “That’s all we are.” All we would be too.

“Nope. Something way more.”

I huffed again. “Please. Enough with the idealistic coupling, Addison. Max is so not boyfriend material.”

“And that, my dear, sweet Lee-Lee, is the truth.”

I jumped in place, then looked up to find the man himself right there in front of us, two beers in hand. He handed me one, a smug grin on his stupid, handsome face, and my heart skipped another beat over the fact that he had been listening to me after all.

“Thanks.” My lips twitched as I took the beer. Our hands grazed, and I failed to ignore the jolt of electricity that raced up and down my arm. Goddamn chemistry. “I thought maybe you’d gone deaf when it came to whatever I said.”

His smile fell, the seriousness I rarely saw burning bright in his stare. “I’ll always hear you.”

Our eyes held for a long moment, then another… An apology was there on my tongue, ready to be said once and for all. I needed him in my life, at least as a friend. “Max, I—”

“Thanks for the beers, Max.” Collin walked in between us, breaking the moment. He put his hand on Max’s shoulder, drawing his attention away from me.

My heart dipped into my toes.

“Come and show us how it’s done, would ya?” Gavin shoved Max’s other arm, then motioned toward the Skee-Ball machine, while Chloe wiggled in Collin’s arms, reaching for me. I couldn’t even muster the strength to take my favorite kiddo in the whole world.

Addie grabbed her instead, likely sensing my turmoil. She tugged Beaner close just in time for the guys to race toward the game, a three-way match soon underway.

My throat burned as I swallowed, but I couldn’t look up from the ground.

“Just friends, huh?” Addie snorted.

I shoved the last bit of my cotton candy into my mouth, then crunched the paper funnel into a ball as I said, “Not gonna happen.”

“Surrrre it’s not.” She grinned.

Chloe wiggled, wanting down. The second she was on her feet, she took off toward Collin, grabbing at his leg.

I watched my brother pick her up, my cold, lifeless heart going warm at the sight. Then I zeroed back in on Addie, whose eyes were still on my face. I scowled, wondering what she saw when she looked at me.

“I’m a lot different than my brother, just so you know.” For some reason, I needed her to understand this.

She touched the tat that lined my left shoulder. “You have the ink and piercings and hair to prove you’re physically different, yeah”—she tapped the side of my forehead with a gentle smile splitting her lips—“but not so different up here.”

“Collin and I want different things in life.”

Her eyebrows arched. “You sure?”

My brother was made to be a parent, a leader even, while I was made to do something else. That didn’t mean kids and marriage were out of the question; I just didn’t think I wanted them for a long while yet.

“Absolutely sure.”

Most of the time I loved to play the carefree card, but I was also driven. Ready to make something of myself when, for years now, I’d been hiding behind a mask. Though it had taken me five years to get a four-year degree in education. My new life goal was to be a teacher, preferably one who worked with middle-school kids. I’d done my student teaching in a seventh-grade ELA class and loved every second of it. At that age, kids were tough as hell to handle, brutally honest, and kind of fun too. Yet, they also had an innocence to them that reminded me of myself now. Someone who wanted so much, but had no real idea how to achieve it just yet. Pretty weird that I could relate to twelve- and thirteen-year-olds, but really, I wasn’t ashamed. This truly was the only career where I could see myself making a difference in someone else’s world.

The job market in Carinthia wasn’t clamoring for new teachers, sadly. Same went for some of the surrounding towns as well. That’s why I’d secretly sent my résumé to various middle schools across the state this past week. The only ones who knew this were my mom and dad. Still, I had to get my actual diploma and pay off the remainder of my tuition first. Rome wasn’t built in a day, Lia. Remember that.

Addie and I watched the guys play round after round of Skee-Ball, while Chloe jumped and cheered and stole the occasional ball from each of their rows. No matter what my state in life was, I was happy the three of them had found one another.

“Here, let’s get our picture drawn.” Knocking me out of my woolgathering, Addie guided me toward one of the caricature sketchers who sat just outside the carnival gates. The man had a unibrow the size of Lake Michigan’s shoreline, and his mustache was curled at the end, handlebar style. But his work was amazing. Charcoal sketches with colored eyes, balloon-shaped heads with movie-star hair.

“How much for both of us?” Addie asked, fishing through her purse. We sat on the stools, as directed, our shoulders touching.

“Thirty-five,” the guy said, his fake French accent too thick to be believable.

I groaned and looked at my friend. “Seriously? That’s too much.”

“Seriously. We have to do this.” Addie mocked me. “Look at how cute those are.” She pointed to a couple with a heart surrounding their heads. Little doves swooped in the air around them, carrying heart balloons in their beaks. Had to hand it to the guy. He was talented.

“I’ve got this, ladies.” I looked up at the sound of Max’s deep voice, finding him searching through his wallet. He pulled out the money, handed it to the artist, then lifted his gaze to meet mine. A soft smile covered his bow-shaped lips, and everything inside me stirred to life at the view.

Addie faked a cough, then pressed a hand over her stomach. “Oh…oh no. I don’t feel very good, guys.”

I faced her and narrowed my eyes as she stood. Don’t, I mouthed, already knowing her game.

Ignoring me, she looked at Max and said, “You’ll take my place, won’t you, Max?” She batted those brown eyes and twirled a lock of her dark hair. No doubt her way of getting anyone and everyone to say yes to her. “Lia here was dying to get her picture drawn.”

Oh, the little liar…

Max nodded, immediately taking her empty seat to my right. With an extra hop in her step, Addie walked away, her ponytail swinging back and forth more the closer she got to Collin and Gavin and Chloe. I wanted to yank it out of her head.

“All right, look this way.” I blinked at the sound of the artist’s voice, my body far too aware of Max’s heady scent.

God, why did he have to smell so good? Fit so perfectly against me?

“You’re much too stiff.” The artist tsked from behind his easel. “Here, wrap your arm around zee pretty lady’s waist, like so.”

I sucked in a breath as Max’s hand was guided along my back, ending at my side with his fingers tucked just under the edge of my T-shirt. I swallowed, shifting in my seat and instantly remembering our kiss—the way he’d worked his mouth over mine and how hard he’d been.

Warmth pooled low in my stomach, drifting in between my thighs. His touch was like adrenaline, kick-starting my orgasm-starved body to life.

“Chin on her shoulder, lips close to her ear…” I shuddered as Max followed the artist’s directions to a T, the stubble on his chin igniting a stormy thunder inside me. Max seemed unaffected, his chest rising and falling at an even rate, while mine was suddenly in asthmatic mode.

“Relax,” Max whispered in my ear, his warm breath grazing my neck. “I’m not gonna bite ya.”

I shut my eyes and shifted once again, the ache between my thighs becoming unbearable. “I didn’t want to do this,” I finally murmured, refocusing on the artist.

Max laughed softly, his chest vibrating against my back and shoulder. “I know you didn’t.”

My eyebrows pushed together in annoyance. “Then why did you agree to sit here?”

“Because Addie wouldn’t give up until I did.” He sighed, far too relaxed compared to me.

I was jumping, itching, crawling with…something, yet he was unaffected. Which only further emphasized that he didn’t want me the way I did him.

“Plus, she folds my underwear, remember? Gotta make sure she doesn’t stick ants in them or something.”

“Yeah, like Addie would ever stoop to your level.” I couldn’t help but grin, my nerves easing slightly.

He squeezed my ribs. “You would.”

I turned to face him, our noses inches apart. “Damn right I would.”

A slow nod later, he moved even closer, our bodies in sync…

My smile fell away. “Maxwell,” I whispered, so lost in his dark eyes that I couldn’t concentrate. The apology was there on my tongue like earlier, but the need weighing me down was even heavier. How could I ever be just friends with a guy who was likely to break my heart, no matter what we were to each other?

“Tell me why you kissed me that night.” He looked at my lips, a serious glint in his eyes.

Blood rushed to my face at his out-of-the-blue question. My composure slipped as confusion took its place. Why was he asking me this?

“Because I…” I gulped. “I owed you, remember? For bailing me out and for keeping me safe from those guys.”

Something shifted in his eyes. Disappointment? I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought. When I looked back at him, I knew I was imagining things, because flirty, fun Max was back, winking at me. “Well then.” He cleared his throat. “That’s good to know.”

“What’s good to know?” I frowned.

“That you still owe me.”

“All finished.” The artist clapped his hands, signaling he was done. I jerked my head away, trying to catch my breath, trying to balance the thoughts in my head.

“Thanks.” I stood and grabbed the portrait from the artist. Part of me didn’t want to look at it, but at the same time…

“Wow.” Addie popped in behind me, her short frame practically bouncing as she moved to my right. “That’s an extraordinary picture.”

I nodded, not wanting to believe what I saw. Two people, so much like Max and me, snuggled together, looking as though there was nowhere else they wanted to be. Behind our cartoon heads was a heart, colored in pink and gray. We looked…in love?

That wasn’t right.

It couldn’t be.

I turned around to look for Max, wondering if that look was still in his eyes. I wanted to see it, to clarify that I wasn’t losing my mind. What I saw instead had me squeezing the edges of the portrait, the paper crinkling louder than the crowd around us.

Max and his earlier brunette were walking away, hand in hand.

My stomach twisted like before, only this time, it felt as though someone had stabbed me with a dull knife. Not enough to do a lot of immediate damage, but enough to leave a lingering burn. I pressed my hand over the ache, willing the unwanted sensation away.

“You okay?” Addie touched my shoulder.

I turned to her, tears stinging the corners of my eyes. “Yeah, I’m great.”

After telling the lie of the century, I hugged her, said I wasn’t feeling well, and then left the festival in a flash—regret, fear, and desolation all haunting me worse than the ghosts of my past.