Chapter 12

Max

It was after three in the morning when I finally got Lia home. The power was out in her apartment complex from the storm we’d just missed driving through, but she refused to come home with me—not that I could blame her. I’d fucked up. Not only because of what had happened at the club, but because of what I’d said in the car.

It was more than obvious that Lia had feelings for me, and with the way I felt about her, I was terrified about what might come next. I needed some time and space to figure out where to go. Most of all, I needed a plan.

If I was going to take this plunge and make it official with her, I needed to prove not only to her, but also to myself that I was a worthy enough guy to do the job. She’d been through far too much in life and needed real and right and everything I was scared I wasn’t gonna be good at. But for Lee-Lee, I actually wanted to try to be that guy.

Part one was already underway: stop continually screwing women. That was a hell of a lot easier than I’d thought it could be, since the woman who held my heart in the palm of her hand was the one I was trying to change for. I also had to quit being such a lazy ass. Jumping from job to job and partying when I should’ve been planning my life wasn’t the way.

After I got those issues worked out, I had to figure out how to ease the sting in telling Collin about my feelings for his sister. Maybe if I was a better man, I could prove to him I was good enough. Then he wouldn’t piss on the idea as much.

There again, he was Colly…and this was his little sister I was mad crazy about.

It was noon the next day when I pulled into her apartment parking lot again. Only this time I wasn’t driving her crapper of a car, but something a hell of a lot more reliable. She’d likely be pissed when she found out what I’d done, but I didn’t care. I had to use my money somehow, and what better way than buying her a safe, reliable vehicle to drive.

Taking the stairs to her apartment two at a time, I made it to her door in less than fifteen seconds. I thought about using the key on her ring to let myself in, but I didn’t want to freak her out. So, I knocked a couple of times. When she didn’t answer, I said fuck it and used the key.

The door creaked when I nudged it open, echoing in the bare space. I blinked and took it all in. Every corner of her tiny place. She didn’t have a lot, from what I remembered of us moving her in last fall, but this? This was sad.

One couch. One chair. One old-as-dirt coffee table. The apartment was dark and smelled like smoke—not from her, but maybe the previous tenants? I scowled, wondering where all the stuff we’d helped move had gone.

The place was quiet for ten in the morning. I discovered why when I found her on the couch, spread out with her hair over her face and a pair of earbuds dangling around her neck. A soft snore slipped from between her pretty lips, and I wanted, more than anything, to touch them again with my own. Instead, I continued to stare at her, amazed by how beautiful she was asleep. She looked like a pink angel.

My heart took a wild ride in my chest at the sight of what she had on. She was still bundled up in my suit coat from last night, with the addition of Spider-Man socks covering her toes. Adorable and sexy and pretty much any guy’s dream: that was my Lee-Lee.

More than anything, I wanted to kiss away the scowl on her lips and smooth the worry line in her forehead as she slept. And when those urges struck, I couldn’t push them away. That is until I caught sight of something shiny behind her head on the couch.

A bottle of Jack.

I rubbed a hand over my mouth and crouched to grab it, worry making my gut go tight. Apparently, she’d gotten herself wasted after I dropped her off. Was it because of me? Of what happened between us?

Even through the haze of her tipsiness at the club, I’d known she was aware of what she was doing when she shoved my hand up her dress. She’d looked fucking phenomenal grinding all over me, and even more phenomenal coming all over my hand. But what I really wanted—more than life and air and anything else in this world—was to see the look on her face when I could finally slip inside her. Now I was worried I’d read it all wrong. That maybe she wasn’t into me the way I was her. Jesus, what if she regretted it? I couldn’t let that happen. She’d have to know how much last night—and every second we spent together—meant to me. And I’d tell her…

Just as soon as I was ready.

She moaned in her sleep, rolling onto her side. My suit coat popped open, and…I froze. Damn. She wasn’t wearing anything beneath. Completely bare, one hard nipple peeked out, begging for my hands, my mouth. My throat went dry at the thought of pulling that tiny bud between my teeth. I squeezed my eyes shut and stood, taking a fast step back.

Not yet, Martinez. Patience.

Breakfast.

Yeah. I’d make her breakfast.

* * *

Lia

“…and he hasn’t called since?”

Loud words of concern echoed in my living room, yet I couldn’t open my eyes long enough to see where they were coming from.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve been there. I tried calling y’all this morning.” Silence followed, then a heavy sigh. More than anything, I wanted to acknowledge the familiar voice, but moving was impossible. My body ached too much.

“I had things to take care of. Won’t happen again. You guys are my life.”

I wiped at my lips with the back of my arm, frowning as I tried to squint through my lids a little more. Sunlight burst through an open window, crashing over my face like on a tanning bed, minus the goggles. Max was here, leaning against the living room wall, one foot propped up behind him while he talked on the phone.

Beneath my head, a soft pillow caressed my cheek and the potent smell of dryer sheets made my stomach curl. Still, I couldn’t help but wrap my arm around the pillow, savoring my last moments of what I was sure was pre-vomit.

Straight Jack did not sit well the morning after.

“Shit.” Gasping, I sat up. My head spun as fast as the room seemed to tilt. Bile pushed into the base of my throat, threatening to make a fast appearance. I stood, stubbing my toe on the couch leg as I raced toward the bathroom.

But I wasn’t going to make it.

On the floor next to my TV stand sat a planter, the leaves crumbled and dead inside. I grabbed it with fumbling fingers and hurled the contents of my stomach inside. Over and over I retched, falling to my knees when I could no longer stay standing.

“Damn it, I gotta go. Be home soon.”

There was a thud, followed by a couple of footsteps. Then he was there—my forbidden dream come to life. Still, not even his soft words or the comfort of his cool fingers along the back of my neck could stop me from throwing up.

Dry heaves filled my throat after a while, my stomach too empty to lose anything more.

“I’m never. Drinking. Again.”

He laughed softly. “That’s what they all say.”

“Can you keep it down?” Arms weak, I lifted the planter and placed it on the TV stand. “You’re too loud.”

“And miss out on the chance to baby you so you can owe me again?” He laughed once more. “Never.”

I cringed and stood, walking backward until my calves hit the couch and I sat down. Flashes of last night came back to me, making my head spin for different reasons altogether.

The club.

Max showing up at the club.

Max and me and my spectacular orgasm at the club, which then ended in the spectacular disaster of him calling me his best friend and me falling asleep on his shoulder in the car.

All of that had led to the following:

Me, walking up the stairs of my apartment, Max hovering like a shadow, only for me to make him leave the second after he unlocked my apartment door.

Me, coming inside, then grabbing my half-empty bottle of Jack.

Me, sitting on the couch, sobbing into said Jack, only to pass out in my own mess of tears.

It was definitely not one of my finer moments.

“Why are you here?” I peered at him from under my matted hair.

With a strange gleam in his eyes, he twirled a set of keys around his fingers. “Because I had to bring your car back.” Then he pointed to a plate of food I’d missed on my coffee table. “And to make you breakfast too.”

I exhaled, unwanted tears coming to my eyes over his sweetness. What sucked was that I’d messed up even worse than usual. It was becoming a pattern. Jail time, alcohol overindulgence… Golly gee, what would I do next?

“Thank you.” I leaned back against the couch, not wanting him to know that the scent of buttery pancakes wasn’t helping with my current state of woe. “I can’t believe how stupid I was last night.”

He sat next to me and brushed his knuckles against my cheek. “You just got a little lost is all. Happens to the best of us.” He smiled, the right side of his mouth lifting higher than the left.

I looked at him, not sure which lost he meant. The lost part where I—actually both of us—took part in a little exhibitionism at some weird sex club, or the lost part where I came home and drank until I passed out. At this point in time, either was a viable option.

My throat burned, as did the corners of my eyes, but I refused to let my emotions win. If only he knew that the reason for getting lost was because I secretly wanted him to find me.

With that same hand, he brushed my hair off my cheek, his touch like ice against my temples as he skimmed his knuckles over the area. I shivered, not wanting to look away. Not wanting him to stop touching me either.

God strike me dead, but I was so beyond in love with my brother’s best friend that it wasn’t funny. My brother’s best friend who considered me a best friend too.

When the heart falls in love, the rest of your body doesn’t have much of a choice but to follow along. Which is exactly why I needed to get that job. I had to get away from Max, or I would never ever be able to get over him.

“Thank you,” I whispered, entranced by his stare, those dark, brilliant eyes I’d dreamed of for almost five years captivating me once again. “For bringing my car back. For driving me home…” For making me realize that I love something I’ll never be able to have.

He didn’t respond to my thanks. Didn’t try to make a joke about my liquor intake and my inability to hold it either. Instead, he dropped his hand from my face and reached for my fingers and elbow, helping me lie back on my pillow, only to cover me with a blanket like a toddler who’d caught a chill.

Max was right about one thing. I had lost my way. And this wasn’t some overnight turn of events either. My only hope was that I could stop being reckless and start being right again. And the only way I could was by no longer letting his absence and his hot-and-cold attitude get to me.

He jerked his finger toward the door, his eyes on the carpet as he leaned forward on his knees. “I should go. Gav’s run off somewhere again. Just wanted to swing by and drop off your car.”

I frowned. “Do you know where he went?” I wasn’t as close to Gavin as I was to Max, but I still loved him.

“He was supposed to watch Chloe because Addie had plans this morning, but he didn’t show.”

“What happened?”

Even as I said it, Max’s words from a few minutes ago—I should’ve been there—echoed in my mind, laying a blanket of guilt over my already wretched emotions.

“He took off somewhere. Addie found a note that said he’d be back, but he’d had an episode last night. Completely lost it at that club. Collin drove him home, but I stayed…”

“To look after me.”

Max nodded, but kept his gaze trained on the floor.

I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry. You should have been there for him.” I wasn’t going to argue about being able to handle my own. Not this time. It was a moot point when, to be honest, he had saved me last night.

I’d been stupid. Driven to Macomb on my own, hardly spoke to Patricia all night… How I’d planned to make it back to Carinthia was beyond me.

“Just…don’t hate me, okay?” He leaned over and kissed my cheek, a quick peck that didn’t linger. A best friend’s peck.

“Why would I hate you?” I asked, watching him stand.

“Reasons.” He smiled one last time before he turned to leave.

Regardless of my confusion, I couldn’t hold back my words, no matter what he said or did. “I’ll never hate you.”

After we’d said our goodbyes, the door clicked shut, the only noise throughout my lonely apartment. The quiet was terrifying with my heart in pain, so I did what I always did when I was by myself. I leaned over, grabbed my phone, and hit the button for my music.

Somewhere along the way, I fell back asleep listening to the heavy metal sounds of Vektor while pretending things were going to be okay.