Chapter 3

Lia

“You’re daydreaming again.” Ruby Pearl, the daughter of Betty, Java Java Hut’s owner, poked me with her wooden coffee stirrer.

I stared at the extra-sparkly linoleum top I’d been cleaning for the past five minutes and frowned. My job as a barista on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings wasn’t something I could give up, but at the rate I’d been going today, I wouldn’t be surprised if I were fired due to straight-up distractibility.

“Sorry.” I leaned my hip against the counter. “Just been a long week, is all.” And it was only halfway over.

“What’s up? I’m all ears.” She sat across from me, frowning.

“Not much to talk about.” That she wanted to hear about at least.

All those months of saving and busting my butt at Jimney’s, and I was still short the last of my tuition—a thousand dollars short, actually. Talk about a crap storm of epic proportions. I thought I had this behind me, that I was finally getting ahead, that I could quit that hellish bartending job and find a worthwhile career. Then just before noon Saturday, I’d gotten the call saying that my last tuition payment wasn’t enough, and that they wouldn’t send me my diploma until I covered the remaining costs. Add in the hellishness of what had happened the night before, and I’d say I had good reason to be distracted.

“See, that’s where I think you’re wrong.” She tucked her corkscrew curls behind her ears and patted my arm. Not only did she wear the hell out of a curly, femme-fatale mullet, but she consistently matched the style with one of her seven pairs of denim overalls. “It’s an M&M situation, isn’t it?”

“M&M?” I fumbled through the giant box of tea bags I’d organized an hour ago, needing to keep my hands busy.

“Yeah, men and money. Those are the two things women worry the most about, ain’t they?”

My nose scrunched, yet the need to spill my guts was there on the tip of my tongue. Maybe I would feel better if I talked to someone. But did I really want my boss’s daughter to be my therapist?

“Not necessarily. Most of the time, the root of all evil lies within yourself, not with the people around you.”

Fingernails drummed against the linoleum, and Ruby Pearl hummed to herself for a good ten seconds before she replied. “When my husband, Davey, was still alive, my life was a living, breathing hell. Mainly because Davey had a drinking problem and stole all my money for gambling.” She tsked. “Talk about M&M issues.”

I puckered my lips, because saying “Sorry for your loss” did not seem appropriate to a situation like Ruby’s. Then again, what did I know about marriage, other than the fact that fifty percent of them ended in divorce?

“Anyway, once I got the life insurance check after he passed, my life took a turn for the better…”

“Oh yeah?” I cleared my throat, having even less of a clue how to respond this time. Once the tea bags were settled, I moved down the line.

“…and the only time I was happy with Davey was when he took me to the…”

I turned on the coffee-bean grinder and nodded as she spoke. I really liked Ruby Pearl, but her long-winded stories tended to make absolutely no sense. Still, the man part of her M&M scenario? There was some merit to it right now.

Travis was an aching throb in my side that wouldn’t quit. He’d been calling nonstop since Sunday afternoon. He’d dropped the assault charges, saying he understood why I did what I did. Even after I told him I wanted nothing do with him, he kept calling—three nonstop days of endless voicemails on a loop, all begging for another chance that wouldn’t happen.

Apologies only went so far when it came to messing up like he had.

Still, the two of us had been together for nearly five months, and I did miss his company. More so the constant of having someone around. Without him, I was alone again, and being alone gave me too much time to think about things I couldn’t control.

For instance, Maxwell.

Like someone had flipped a switch, his face was all I could see. The guy was like an earworm I couldn’t shake, no matter how hard I tried a new tune.

Max used to come in and get coffee every morning I worked at Java Java’s. He’d flirt with Betty a little too, even offer to take the garbage out so neither of us had to do the dirty work. But he’d made himself scarce since I began dating Travis, something that hadn’t gone unnoticed by Ruby and Betty.

In the delusional part of my mind, I wondered if he’d put distance between us because he was jealous of my new relationship. Then all I had to do was remember that he was Max Martinez, the serial dater who wanted nothing to do with me or any woman past a first date. He was also why I’d started dating Travis—as a way to curb the growing feelings he stirred up in me. I’d been crushing on the guy for years, and if anything, the wall he’d put between us had only made my longing for him worse. Plus, he’d always treated me like a little sister, and I hated that most of all.

I switched off the coffee grinder.

“…so what I’m saying is, you should become a lesbian.”

I coughed, hiding my shocked laughter. “But then wouldn’t it just be W&M instead? Because I’m pretty sure that no matter who you date, there’s always going to be hell to get through.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Ruby moved around the counter, her eyes soft, her face flushed with exertion from just that simple move. “You’re better off alone anyway. Trust me.”

In the blink of an eye, she wrapped her arms around my waist and held me against her sweaty chest. I cringed. This was so not what I needed today.

“I think that’s why I was never happy with my marriage, ya know? Nobody ever made me feel that spark.” She petted the back of my hair, like a mother to a daughter. The scent of her perfume, with the underlying scent of raw meat, smacked me in the face. I cringed, holding my breath.

Dear, sweet Jesus…

“Wish I was fifteen years younger. Then maybe I would’ve made better choices. Experienced more. Played the field even.”

Patting her shoulder, I managed to slip out of her hold and smile in turn. Or grimace, was more like it. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to understand what my facial expression meant and moved toward the back of the shop, humming to herself.

Yeah. That wasn’t awkward or anything.

The small bell over the front door jingled, and the late-April wind blew into the café, causing goose bumps to form on my arms. A toddler’s squeal of joy sounded from the entrance and I smiled, already knowing who it was. Addie, my brother’s girlfriend, along with my adorable niece, Chloe, had come for their Wednesday morning visit.

“Hey!” I waved, tossing a clean towel over my shoulder.

I pushed through the swinging saloon-style doors and approached them with open arms. Gorgeous was the one word that could best describe my brother’s girlfriend—and hopefully, someday, maybe my sister-in-law. She had thick black hair, dark-brown eyes, and flawless skin that reminded me of the lightest brew of coffee we had in this place.

“Hey back,” she said, a little breathless as she tossed Chloe’s diaper bag into the booth. I might have lost Max on Mondays and Fridays, but I’d gained these two on Wednesday—a fair trade, I’d say.

Addie handed my niece over with a grin. I snuggled her to my chest. “Hey, Beaner.” The scent of her baby shampoo filled my nose, and I couldn’t help but smile.

God, I loved this little thing. Not only was she the glue that held my brother and his friends together, but she held me together too. Her birth last year had pushed me to do what I’d wanted most: to go back to college and finish my last semester, to get my life together once and for all. Then when her mom died, something in me had really clicked. Life wasn’t forever, and if you didn’t make it your own in the short time you were given, then what was the point of living it at all?

“What shall we get you today, little lady?” I poked her on the nose, and like always, Chloe tugged at my eyebrow ring. She’d learned to be gentler now that she was almost fourteen months old, but the kid had mega strength. She was a Thor toddler in the making—likely due to all the testosterone in her house. Living with a dad and two other macho men probably had that effect on a little girl. I was just thankful Addie was there to set them all straight.

Addie stood beside us at the table, a loving smile on her face. Chloe reached for her, and I swallowed around a lump in my throat, willing my jealousy away. I wasn’t jealous that Chloe had another leading lady in her life though. If anything, I was happy. Addie was the perfect fill-in mom, and I couldn’t have asked for a better person for my brother. I was jealous because I missed being around Chloe as much as I used to be. But I was busy. Working two jobs and finally finishing school had forced me to give something up for a while. Unfortunately, that something had to be Beaner.

“I’ll take a poppy-seed muffin. She can just nibble on mine.” Addie nudged Chloe in the belly, making her laugh.

“Coffee too?”

Addie nodded and sat, my niece tucked in her lap where she belonged.

A little while later, I took my fifteen-minute break, hoping above hope that Ruby Pearl didn’t scare the customers away with her Davey stories. We still had a good half hour before the midmorning rush came in, so this was the perfect opportunity for a little female chat with my favorite—and only—girlfriend.

“So, how’ve you been?” I leaned back in my seat, sipping my tea.

“Okay, I guess,” Addie answered.

I frowned. “What’s up, buttercup? My brother being a douche?”

“Uh, no. Not at all. Just personal family drama is all.”

Addie’s family was crap. They had ignored her, abandoned her, cut her off… It made me love and miss my overbearing parents even more.

“What is it?” I leaned toward Chloe to take a bite of the muffin offering from her tiny fingers, but at the last minute she giggled and yanked it away.

“My mom’s sick. She’s at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester. It’s cancer of the stomach. Apparently she was diagnosed a few months ago, but I only got the call last week.”

I cringed. That didn’t sound good. “Are you going to visit her?”

Addie shredded the napkin in her hands. “I want to, but Collin thinks I shouldn’t.”

“With good reason, I’m sure.”

Her lips pursed. “I have a right to say goodbye to my mother, even if she did abandon me. He doesn’t just get to—”

“Addie.” I put my hand on top of hers, my heart conflicted. She needed to make amends with her parents, yes, but at the same time nobody wanted her to get her heart broken if it didn’t work out, especially not my brother. “You know why he doesn’t want you to go, right?”

Shoulders sagging, she looked at Chloe. “I do. But he’s just so stubborn and…ugh. He’s just Collin.”

“Well, you’re Miss Stubborn too.” I took another drink of my tea.

She blew out a slow breath. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Then don’t.”

“But I do want to talk about Max.” She peered back at me, a knowing, mischievous look in her brown eyes.

My face grew hot. “What about him?”

“He’s moodier than normal.”

My eyebrows rose. “And your point is…?”

Her lips trembled like she was fighting a smile. “He’s moody because he’s stopped sleeping around. He told Collin and me that last night. I guess he’s thinking about finally finding someone to settle down with.”

I swallowed hard, staring at Chloe’s hands as she tossed her muffin pieces on the floor. Was it coincidence or happenstance that he’d decided this after he found out Travis and I had broken up? Likely the first thought, because there’s no way my relationship status would make him rethink his stance on dating. I was delusional to think otherwise.

“He must have been drunk.” I scoffed. Either that, or he was having a dry spell. Or maybe he’d run out of options. Carinthia was a small town. “I mean, even guys like Max are bound to take a break from sex every once in a while. I can guarantee it won’t last.”

“Don’t be dense, Lia.” Addie grinned. “All he’s done this week is ask about you. I think it’s a sign.” Addie sipped her coffee, her eyes narrowing with intent from over the rim.

“I’m not dense.” Maybe a little unrealistic at times, but definitely not dense.

It was easier to pretend nothing bothered me. That way people didn’t constantly ask How are you feeling? Do you want to talk about it? Playing the role of the uncaring whack job was exactly the persona I’d built my life around over the past five years. I no longer recognized the shy, sensitive girl who used to live within me. The girl who studied on Fridays and dated only the sweetest of the sweet on Saturdays. No way was I the girl who’d created homecoming floats in high school and written for the college newspaper just to receive extra credit. That girl was the dense one. She was also dead.

I knew that because I’d killed her myself.

“Fine, fine. I just wanted you to know in case you decide to—”

“Addie,” I groaned. “Max and I? We’re never. Going. To happen. It’s best if you drop the scenario altogether and focus your matchmaking skills elsewhere.”

For now, I had two goals: paying my extra tuition fees and then getting my diploma. And neither of those included Maxwell Martinez.