Danielle
By Sunday, I was still at Rodney’s house. I hadn’t gone back to Lisa’s, even though I probably would have been more comfortable at my friend’s place. I didn’t have what it took to explain to her what had happened, to relive the whole thing.
I was a blubbering, hysterical mess. I couldn’t stop crying, even if I wanted to. I couldn’t blame my emotions on the pregnancy hormones. Anyone who had been kicked out of the house would feel the way I did, pregnant or not.
I couldn’t believe my dad had kicked me out. I had always thought I was his favorite, his little girl, the person he would fight to change the world for instead of sending me out there to fend for myself. I guessed everyone had their limits. Everyone had a place where they would draw the line. I had never guessed my dad’s tolerance was so shallow.
Maybe it wasn’t. This wasn’t something small, after all. Rodney was his best friend–or at least, he used to be–and not only was he twice my age, but he was my boss and the father of my unborn child. All of this was already difficult to swallow, and to find out over social media had to be the worst way for it to happen.
Maybe my dad was right in reacting the way he did. What killed me was that I was going to have a baby, and my family wouldn’t be a part of it. I had always been a daddy’s girl. If my dad didn’t want me anymore, who the hell was I?
Rodney was difficult, too. He had told me I could stay as long as I wanted, and when I had wanted to leave on Saturday night, he insisted I stay. At the same time, he was acting weird with me, giving me the cold shoulder, even though I had done nothing wrong. Of course, Rodney had lost someone, too. I had only lost my father, but Rodney had lost his best friend, and if he couldn’t manage to pull things together, he might lose the company as well. His pain would be double my own.
I locked myself in the spare bedroom and dialed my dad’s number. Even if he wouldn’t forgive me, he couldn’t pull funding. I didn’t want to be the reason for the company going under. I knew how hard he had been working and how much his company meant to him.
I dialed my dad’s number and pressed the phone to my ear. I counted how many times it rang when it started. After seven, I knew I would get his voicemail. I didn’t leave a message. Instead, I tried again.
No matter how many times I tried or how many missed calls or voicemails or texts I left my dad, he didn’t answer. He didn’t want anything to do with me. He didn’t even want to hear me out. I guessed I couldn’t blame him, but it still hurt like hell. I had been defiant my whole life, breaking all the rules. My dad had been upset with me many times, but he had never taken measures this drastic. He had never rejected me.
When I finally gave up trying to call my dad, I wandered through the house to find Rodney. I was glad Tommy wasn’t home yet. Apparently, Rodney’s mom would only bring him through much later. I was relieved I wouldn’t have to put on a happy face. I didn’t have what it took to be forcefully happy.
I found Rodney in his office, a room I hadn’t been in before. It was an executive kind of room, decorated in dark brown and wine red. Rodney sat behind a large desk, his hands in his hair. When I came in, he looked up. He looked tired, even though we hadn’t had a bad night’s sleep. Emotions were more tiring than anything else.
“I tried to call my dad,” I said, sitting down in an armchair close to a full-length bookshelf. “I wanted to get him to change his mind about pulling funding, but he doesn’t want to answer. I’m sorry.”
Rodney shook his head. “Don’t be. This is not your fault.”
“It feels like it is,” I said.
Rodney leaned back in his chair. “I phoned the other investors. I had to talk to them as soon as possible. I didn’t want to leave it until tomorrow before we handled this in the meeting.”
“And?” I asked.
Rodney nodded slowly. “I’m going to be honest with you,” he said, and that made me nervous. “They gave me an ultimatum. Either I get rid of you altogether, or if I really care about you, I fire you and get the business image back up.”
I frowned. “Are those your only two options?”
Rodney nodded. “I’m afraid so.” He looked apologetic.
“But that’s good, right?” I asked. “If firing is all it takes, we can do that. I don’t mind losing my job if it means you keep the company.”
Rodney shook his head. “Gallagher suggested a very good story. He said if we can make it sound legit, we might get around it altogether.”
“But that’s a risk,” I said. “What story are we going to spin that makes the secretary half your age, pregnant with your child, look good?”
Rodney shrugged. “I know what it looks like, Danielle,” he said quietly. “What I’m trying to tell you is that there’s hope.”
I didn’t know if there was hope the way Rodney said. At this point, I didn’t care if I lost my job. I had lost so many other things already. All I wanted was to make sure Rodney’s business was safe, that we were okay, and that there wasn’t a chance of his investors still pulling out in future over this.
“Why are you so serious about the business?” Rodney asked.
I pulled up my shoulders. “I know I’m young and I haven’t had a lot of time to invest into anything, but I have an idea of what it means to put so much of yourself into something. For you to lose your business would be worse than anything I could ever lose.”
Rodney didn’t look like he believed me. Yes, losing my family was horrible and it would probably still hit me at some point down the line, but right now, making sure Rodney had a job so he could take care of me and the baby were the most important things.
The rest of the day passed quickly. Wasn’t that always the way when you dread something? I dreaded the following day and what people would say. I dreaded how long the story would circulate and how it would affect me and Rodney and Tommy. Tommy most of all.
When Rodney’s mom brought Tommy back, I met the woman for the first time. I liked her right away. She was warm and welcoming, easy to like and easy to open up to.
“It’s a nasty business, having your personal life put on display for the world to see,” Mrs. Jones said to me. “They have nothing better to do with their time.”
I didn’t know what to say about that. This was so much bigger than someone being bored.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Mrs. Jones said. “But I do know what’s going on. And I want you to know, I’m on your side.”
I blinked, unsure where this was coming from. Rodney’s mom didn’t know me at all. Unless Rodney had been speaking about me, but I doubted that.
“The world is very quick to judge, to point fingers, and say what should and shouldn’t be allowed. I have lived long enough to know that it doesn’t matter. Who you love should be based solely on who makes you happy and nothing else. Let the rest of them judge you. Let them have their opinions. People will always have something to say. But don’t let that affect you. If you’re happy, you know that where you are is the right place to be. There’s nothing anyone can do about it.”
I decided right away that I liked Rodney’s mom. It was rare to find someone who didn’t frown upon what we were doing, especially now that it was all over the media. It was great to know we were being accepted by at least one person. One person for now was enough. The rest would follow. I had Lisa in my corner, too.
“Dad?” Tommy asked when he came into the room with Rodney.
“What is it, big boy?” Rodney asked.
“Are you and Danielle together? The television says you are.”
I was shocked, looking up at Rodney. We hadn’t talked about how we would break this to Tommy, or how we would handle a relationship with a child involved. Everything had gone too fast. We had gone from flings and one-night stands to suddenly being a family, and I felt like we hadn’t bridged the gap in between.
“Yes, we are,” Rodney said to Tommy matter-of-factly. That Rodney was so straightforward with his son about it made my heart skip a beat, despite how terrible things were. Rodney was serious about this, I realized. As long as everything was secret, as long as there were no excuses and explanations to be made, it was easy to make promises. Now that everything had been thrown out into the open, it was harder to live up to it, but Rodney was doing everything a man should do. And telling Tommy that we were together, telling his son that his dad had a new girlfriend, was a major step.
“Well, I think I need to leave you to it,” Mrs. Jones said. “I still have an hour’s drive back.”
“Why don’t you stay, Mom?” Rodney asked. “It’s late. Have dinner with us and stay in the guest room.”
I nodded. I liked Mrs. Jones, and I wouldn’t mind spending more time with her. But Mrs. Jones shook her head.
“No, no. I’ll head home now. You be together and talk through what’s happened and how things are going to change.”
Maybe she was right. Tommy had heard things in the news evidently, and Rodney and I had to find out exactly what that was. We wanted to tell him about the pregnancy much later, but if he already knew, we had to figure this out now.
“Did you say goodbye and thank you to grandma?” Rodney asked Tommy.
Tommy nodded but hugged Mrs. Jones again.
“What a pleasure spending the weekend with you, Tommy. We’ll make a plan again soon.” She dropped a kiss on Tommy’s head before Rodney walked her out. I waited inside with Tommy. I was worried he would be upset about our new arrangement, but he was excited, bouncing around as if he’d had sugar all day. It was a good sign that he was in such a good mood.
“My mom really likes you,” Rodney said when he returned from outside. “You should take that as a compliment. Until now, she hasn’t met anyone she thought was suited to me.”
“You can’t possibly think I’m good enough?” I asked. “There are so many things wrong with our relationship.”
Rodney shook his head and put his hand on my cheek. “That’s just the thing, Danielle. You’re not paying attention to everything that’s right with our relationship. We will figure this out. We’ll make it work. Did you see how excited Tommy is? We’ve already cleared the first hurdle.”
Maybe Rodney was right. Maybe all we needed to do was focus on one problem at a time and only look at the next after we sorted it out. We could take them on together. If there had been any good coming from what my dad had done, it was that I had realized where I want to be. Where I felt I belonged.
And I belonged right here.