Lennon
The answer will always be you.
RYKER UNLOCKS THE door before stepping aside, allowing me to enter first. The room appears to be empty but it’s hard to be certain in the dark. As he flips a switch, the space is flooded with light and my suspicions are correct. I scour the area, looking for anything of meaning, something that represents the amazing guy behind me. The blank white walls and barren wood floors are depressing.
This is where he lives?
My body has been keyed up since Ryker blew my effing mind with that orgasm but now I’m toppling back to reality. Over the last several weeks, I’ve managed to forget how alone Ryker was before we started dating. This is a stark reminder I wasn’t prepared for, and it’s really upsetting.
“How can you . . . I mean, did you just move in? Or have you already started packing for Denten?” My hopeful heart searches for boxes stacked in the corners but of course, I find none. A spasm attacks my stomach, picturing this sweet man alone in this bleak existence.
Ryker’s hands burrow deep in his pockets as he shrugs. “I know it doesn’t look like much, mostly because it isn’t, but it serves a purpose. This place is nothing more than a spot to rest my head.”
My brow raises skeptically while glancing at him.
“Uh, all right.” I shuffle into the kitchen before opening the fridge. Nothing. Freezer? Bare. “So, you stay here but don’t really live here? A house but not a home?”
“Yeah, that’s about it. Not like I’m entertaining often or have anything worth displaying.” His tone is low and flat. “Can you hang out a sec? Just gotta change my pants.”
I nod mutely while wondering why the hell he needs to switch clothes. My focus doesn’t linger long after he disappears from sight. I wander into the living room where a desk, laptop, several monitors, and an office chair are pushed against the wall. Besides the electronics, this space is vacant too. Chills creep under my skin and I rub my arms briskly to ward off the eerie feeling.
My gaze skitters down the hallway in the direction Ryker went. A lump forms in my throat as I picture his bedroom, his most personal space, void of any warmth just like the rest. Desperation to provide comfort pushes me forward. Nervous energy rattles through my chest as I move closer.
Ryker appears, as if hearing my thoughts, and all sadness washes away as my eyes land on him. My mouth waters at the first glimpse of this sexy guy wearing nothing but a pair of light gray sweats. What is it about men and baggy sweatpants? Scratch that. Not just any man—Ryker. I must have been very good in my previous life to deserve him. And he’s all mine.
Pretty sure I’m drooling.
I wipe at my lips to make sure. His upper body is on display, and my vision is full of lightly bronzed skin and rippling muscles. Ryker’s bare shoulders are sculped stacks of power that roll back as he walks toward me. His torso is lined with deep ridges that lead down to the tantalizing V of his hips. He’s cut and chiseled everywhere my starving eyes can see. My fingers want to feel every glorious inch and I’m not ashamed of staring. Ryker wouldn’t come out here barely clothed if he didn’t want me to gawk.
Good Lord, he’s perfection.
My surroundings no longer matter and heat unfurls from my core. Who cares about his choices in decorating, or lack thereof? In two short weeks, we’ll be outta here and can decorate our new studio together. Forget all that mopey stuff because I have one important goal now.
Getting naked.
“Y-you lo-look,” I stutter before blurting, “fucking hot.” My chin dips as I groan loudly, wishing for an invisibility cloak. Can’t I be the least bit seductive?
I peek up at Mr. Sexy Pants and find a dimpled smirk quirking his sinful lips. Everything inside of me turns to goo when I realize it doesn’t matter what comes out of my mouth. Ryker gets me.
“Lemme show you something, Sunshine.” He reaches for me.
Hopefully that involves the enormous package saluting me from below his waist. I might be a virgin but it’s very obvious what’s about to happen. Our fingers lace effortlessly and the familiar buzz prickles up my arm. Ryker leads me to a closed door then tugs me in front of him so I’m perfectly notched against the impressive bulge in his pants.
“Close your eyes,” he whispers while gripping the knob in front of us.
I comply and after a soft whoosh, Ryker guides me forward with his hands on my hips. His hold tightens as he murmurs, “Now open.”
My lids shutter rapidly against the unexpected light while I adjust to the glowing hues scattered around the space. A tremendous wave crashes into me and I wobble in place from the sudden dizziness.
Before me is the most beautiful room I could ever image. It’s impossible to settle my sight on any one thing. My eyes bounce wildly around the brightly colored room for a few moments, silently absorbing each piece.
The enormous bed sits in the middle, covered in sunny yellow sheets. The pillows look fluffy and soft, exactly how I like them. There’s a kitschy dresser and nightstand set that looks very similar to a combo I’ve had my eye on. The teal color pops against the lighter shades. Most of all though, I’m stunned by the pseudo wallpaper.
“Oh my . . . Wh-what is all this?” My voice wavers as I continue digesting the glorious space. My fingers brush one of the little yellow notes stuck to the wall.
When you tip your head to the sky, it’s like you’re saying hello to an old friend.
My gaze bounces across a few more that paint the space.
Hello, Beautiful.
You make my life better just by existing.
Favorite #54: the way your eyes crinkle at the corners when you laugh.
Everything I am is because of you.
Every available inch is covered with sunny squares for rows and rows, arranged all about, no real rhyme or reason or pattern. My mind overloads as my vision blurs, but the message remains clear.
Ryker clears his throat and I twist slightly to face him.
“I guess,” he scratches his flushed nape, “it seems pretty strange to have a room like this, made up for you, just in case.” His speech fumbles as he glances around, but all I see in this moment is him. Ryker’s bare chest expands with a heavy breath. “This was another way of keeping you nearby. I’d picture you in here, working on homework or sewing or writing or . . . whatever. When I was extra lonely because you were busy next door, I’d write a few notes for your space here.” His ocean irises blast into me and I swear he reaches my soul.
“Wow.” I read a couple more notes before getting lost in him again. “This is the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen. Instead of rose petals scattered on the mattress and floor, you’ve flooded the wall with words of endearment.”
“Of love,” Ryker interjects.
My heart leaps into my throat.
“What?”
“These are my words of love to you.”
“What are you saying, Ryker?” A few tears track down my heated cheeks as I stare up at this beautiful man.
His thumb swipes away the drops.
“I love you, Sunshine.” He peels off a note and hands it to me. “See?”
I love you. Now and Always.
“I don’t expect you to say it back,” Ryker continues seamlessly. “I’ve never been cared for. The fact you tolerate my presence, let alone want and like me, is beyond any expectation. Please don’t feel—”
Before another word escapes his gracious mouth, I leap into his arms without warning. I capture his handsome face between my palms as he yanks me closer.
“Stop selling yourself short. Never again. I love you, Ryker.” I kiss his parted lips. “Of course, I love you. How could I not?”
His eyes shine with emotion before he nuzzles into my neck.
“You love me,” he repeats but doesn’t question. He believes my words just as intended.
Without another syllable, my legs wind around him and Ryker hikes me higher with his hands cradling my ass. He carries me to the perfectly made bed covered in sunny yellow sheets, which appears brand new and never touched. As he lays us down, I ask if this is where he usually sleeps.
Ryker shakes his head while brushing stray strands from my face.
“No. This space is yours, or ours now I suppose.”
The fabric is silky and heavenly underneath me but my attention remains on the man propped above me. “This is exactly where we’re meant to be. Right here,” I breathe against his jaw as my fingers skate down, tracing along the muscular grooves in his back. This room was created with love and it’s fitting that I’ll worship him here.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“Yes,” I sigh before sealing our lips together.
My hips lift into his as I pull him further down, successfully grinding us together. Ryker’s hands fidget with the hem of my shirt until I arch for him to drag it up and off. I find his mouth again as he reaches to undo my bra. As the bare flesh of our chests touch for the first time, something foreign wakes up inside of me. My skin is hyperaware as tentative touches are exchanged. His rough palms glide up my sides and my nipples pebble tight, pressing against his stony pecs.
Ryker rises up, his focus on my jeans.
“I want you naked,” he utters into the silence.
I rock into his trembling hands, letting him know I need that too. Denim and cotton slide down my quaking thighs and Ryker’s blue irises feast on each newly exposed piece of me. He stands to remove his pants before his body blankets mine, both of us free from material restraints. His hardness rests against my soft belly as Ryker begins cherishing me with his mouth. Starting with a kiss to my taut throat then trailing down my fluttering pulse. His lips latch onto my sensitive breasts before kissing along my stomach, goosebumps rising with his descent. When he settles between my legs, I suck in an anxious breath before spreading wider in anticipation.
His lips and fingers make love to the most innocent part of me, preparing my body for more with the utmost care. I soon discover new heights from Ryker’s generous and devoted affections. My toes curl as sparks zap up my calves and warmth spreads rapidly from my core. His hands stroke under my bare thighs, skimming along my ass, before drifting up against the smooth skin of my back. Ryker’s thumbs play along my ribs, the bumps and dips providing contrasting sensations, each bone providing a new tune.
“You’re so beautiful, Sunshine.” Ryker’s voice rumbles from deep within.
His heated stare roams up my exposed body like a silky caress. He studies me like an artist, ready to shape and mold my bland existence into something breathtaking. I want his mark all over my body, like the one he’s already branded into my soul, a special signature meant only for me.
I reach for him, ready to feel his velvety steel in my palm, but Ryker has other plans. He brings both of my wrists to his lips, pressing barely-there kisses along the delicate skin, before placing my palms on his biceps. Ryker lowers down very slowly, his arms shaking from the strain. When his tense face hovers over mine, I realize he’s trembling everywhere. My fingertips dance down his spine before sweeping back up to grip his shoulders.
He groans out a choppy exhale.
“Holy shit, that feels so good.”
“I want to give you something even better,” I promise before squirming beneath him.
My knees lift around his hips and I draw him in closer, silently asking for what my body is craving without uttering a word. Ryker sucks in a jagged breath before adjusting our connection, searching for what we both desire. His frantic eyes lock on me, the blue waves violent and crashing wildly deep inside him. When I feel him there, hard and ready, my heart pounds feverishly as wildfire roars through my veins. My head bobs wildly before yanking his mouth to mine.
I choke on a harsh breath as the initial stab of pain slices into me and Ryker freezes in place, muscles locked up tight. He breaks away from my lips, the intention to stop altogether reflecting in his eyes.
“It’s okay, keep going. Please. I’m okay,” I reassure him while shifting slightly to ease the radiating ache.
Ryker doesn’t appear convinced and remains still. “I never want to hurt you.”
“I know. Trust me,” I offer through a wobbly grin. “Our first time isn’t meant to be flawless but this is far more than just sex. This is the final barrier between us, a wall taken down so we can truly be whole together. Now we’re joined as one,” I murmur against his mouth before sucking on his bottom lip. “We have forever to make perfect love, but this is the only moment we’ll have our first time.” I nod slowly and after a beat, he mimics the movement.
A deep crease forms between Ryker’s dark brows as he presses his mouth back to mine and pushes further into me. As I welcome him into my body, everything I am becomes his. The movements aren’t effortless or easy but that makes it ours. We’ve been waiting our entire lives to share this raw experience and chose each other. That’s worth the discomfort pulsing through me. This is how we’re meant to connect our bodies together for the very first time.
We take our time, there’s no rush. As he discovers and explores the plains of my flesh, he plants delicate touches to his favorite spots. A gentle graze of teeth to my collarbone. A rasp of scruff along my cleavage. An exquisite path of kisses up my neck. Sweat collects on our brows as we rock together in unison. Each move is slow and calculated for maximum impact. He slides in and I arch against him, tightening my hold everywhere. As he glides out, I grip him harder, refusing to let go. Ryker trembles on top of me and tells me he can’t hold back much longer.
“It’s okay. Give me your love,” I whisper.
He does with a loud groan into my mouth as spasms pop through his joints. I cuddle him closer, gaining pleasure from his ecstasy, until he’s wrung out.
Ryker’s breathing is labored as he props up on his elbows. His sapphire eyes are bright with wonder and astonishment colors his tone.
“I’ve dreamed of this countless times, experiencing this with you, but I never dared to . . .” His words taper off as he scans my features.
My nails lightly scratch along his buzzed scalp and he shivers against me. “Tell me,” I urge when he stays silent.
“I didn’t allow myself to really hope it could ever happen. You’ve made my unbelievable fantasy come true.” He worries his bottom lip before adding, “And next time I’ll make it better for you.”
I kiss his concern away.
“This has been the best day in paradise. Being that close to you was the greatest thing. Never doubt your ability to make me happy,” I say while cupping his blotchy cheek.
Ryker leans into my touch before dusting my mouth with a sweet kiss.
“I’m so damn lucky, Sunshine. You’re my every wish.” He rolls off me and reaches above our heads. When he settles next to me, a yellow note is in his hand. “This always seemed impossible but that didn’t stop me from writing it.”
I hope you’ll sleep here one day, surrounded by sunlight and love.
The bold script distorts as my eyes mist over. I snuggle into his warm embrace, my bare skin melting into his, and vibrant intimacy hums around us.
“You’re really something, Ryker. I’m so thankful for you.”
He hugs me closer and nothing has ever felt so right. Not college or my designs or the potential of having a successful business. Suddenly I remember something.
“Ryker?” I question softly into the comfortable quiet.
“Hmm?” He murmurs against my temple.
“What’s your first favorite thing? I saw number fifty-four on the wall.”
I feel his lips quirk along my skin.
“Ah, that’s easy. Your smile.”
My response is exactly that, a huge toothy grin that stretches my entire face. I can’t help the giddy glee spreading through me.
“Yeah, that’s the one,” he whispers softly into my ear.
Suddenly Ryker rises from the bed and I instantly miss his warmth. He disappears into the bathroom for a few moments before returning with a washcloth. Emotion lodges in my throat at his tenderness as he settles in next to me. Ryker takes great care cleaning me up and I arch closer with each tentative touch.
After tossing the cloth away, he draws me into his body so we’re cuddling without any space separating us.
I drift off to sleep with visions of the crystal-clear ocean lapping gently along the sandy shore, joining as one for all of eternity.